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g with the casualties good fish i just hope there isn t a scene like the one in jaws 3 you know in the tunnel with the man popping up egads also i keep doing google searches on symptoms expectations etc and invariably i get directed to the inanity of yahoo answers today i entertained myself with this gem it s totally made up all this guy s questions are like this but it still made me snort when i stumbled on it when a man gets pregnant can he get another woman pregnant or is he basically nuetered during this time so i won t be updating probably until saturday when i get the beta done but please keep me in your thoughts posted by m at 9 19 pm 4 comments sunday january 4 2009 iui went a ok just a quick update with just enough tmi to make you queasy i had my iui on saturday it was easy peasy we stayed the night at a hotel right next to the clinic and that worked out really well plus the rate was only 60 00 maybe a little less we dropped dh s specimen off at the lab and then we came back to the hotel for another 2 hours when i came back i had to pick up the washed and ready to go specimen and hold it until my doctor came in to the exam room it was in a test tube then the doctor the nurse and a new doctor came into the room i appreciated that the new doctor didn t get up all in my business she stayed towards my head my doctor reviewed my dh s semen analysis and said it actually wasn t perfect i think the motility rate is a little low but most everything else looked great and she thought because of this that having the iui would gives us an extra push that we weren t getting naturally my cervix was in a great position and my cervical mucus was prime so other than just having that one follicle i think i m in a great position for success that one follicle is keeping my hopes low which is important because i do not want to get carried away with the what ifs two weeks is a long time to obsess about all of this and i ve already bought 5 pregnancy tests in case i can t wait until two saturdays from now so i have an uphill battle with myself to keep my impulses under control the insemination was painless in fact i felt nothing at all as i ve mentioned in other forums it was sort of a surreal experience having three people in the room with me while my baby may be getting conceived not one of them was my husband or even a guy so that s the story for now i really hope i have some good news to tell you in two weeks posted by m at 9 30 pm 3 comments thursday january 1 2009 is the timing finally right wow i complained so much about nothing working out the way i wanted i didn t even take in to consideration that maybe things happen for a reason i know deep huh sorry i m sort of dragging from my exciting new years eve of watching our new to us and free tv in bed with a small glass of tgif s mudlslide concoction and wondering why the hell our bil was calling us after midnight oh yeah to wish us a happy new year in any case i wanted to make sure to get some of the stuff that s been happening written down before i totally forget on saturday the iui is scheduled finally amazingly enough the timing is about as perfect as can be almost all of my appointments for this cycle have taken place on a weekend day or on a holiday there s nothing like spending christmas morning with an ultrasound tech and her probe which means i haven t raised any eyebrows at work my last appointment was yesterday and i just offhandedly mentioned to my boss that i d be in a tad late no questions asked at all plus my husband doesn t need to take any time off from work double yay at my appointment yesterday i was told that i had just one good follicle i was so sad to hear this because i really thought i d have at least two plus the one i have isn t all that spectacular dr h told me that one is all they are really supposed to be aiming for because of the risk of multiples but the odds are greater when there are more than one so i took this as bad news and cried on my way into work eventually i bucked up and right now am feeling excited in about 4 hours i ll take my trigger shot of ovidrel and then saturday morning we ll head on over to the office we ve actually rented a hotel room nearby so my husband is a little more comfortable with the collection i m trying to make this as easy as possible on both of us wish us luck posted by m at 4 34 pm 8 comments sunday december 21 2008 injecting yourself is too hard today i started my follistim injectable meds for my iui i thought i would have no problem i had no fear no nervousness until i was holding that needle hovering in front of my tummy i couldn t do it luckily my dh stepped up and did it i felt absolutely nothing but i still think dh will be my designated injector on christmas i ll go in for another ultra sound and then i think around 12 30 or thereabouts will be my iui i m feeling excited but keeping my expectations low posted by m at 10 31 pm 5 comments tuesday december 9 2008 my latest update why is it when you do everything right that everything ends up going wrong maybe i m being a little dramatic but this month i actually took all my medicines daily unlike the last few months where i ve taken them weekly if at all i got all my bloodwork done i kept in good contact with my re s office i had a good block of time that i could have all my appointments and be discreet at work about them and yet nothing ever works according to plan i ve been pretty bummed out since i returned from croatia and wasn t able to start my iui cycle but i put aside my disappointment let my iui coordinator know i wasn t happy with our miscommunication and started fresh my husband got all his pre conception bloodwork done and results back except his cystic fibrosis test we haven t seen those results yet we both went in for a demonstration of how injectable medicines work and are administered i can totally do it to myself by the way i m sure of it we also got the iui schedule when i go in for my ultrasounds when i start taking my follistim my ovidrel and my prometrium suppositories when i get my hcg trigger and then depending on all that when i have my iui all that we needed was for af to show and then we d be on the train except this month i didn t ovulate the first time in about 6 or 7 months i never got a peak on my cbefm just 20 days of highs now this was already sort of a throw away cycle since i was completely unmedicated except for my normal daily meds but it was also my last chance at conceiving naturally and cheaply since i don t even require a fancy dinner so i went in and got a progesterone test just to make sure and wow it couldn t be any lower knowing that i didn t ovulate sent alarm bells going crazy in my head because even with some ovulation even a low progesterone reading of 5 or 6 as i normally have at least af remains pretty consistent 31 33 day cycle without ovulation i didn t know if af would come naturally so i was able to get some provera pills in the hopes that they would help my period start on time or just a tad late well i m on day 36 now no af so no big deal right except of course i studied that projected iui schedule like an obsessed crazy person and knew that if af came when it was supposed to that my boss would be out of the office for almost the entire time that i would have to have my appointments thus reducing the likelihood of having to answer questions or be the subject of rumors etc so now i m back to wondering if this month is a bust will my body betray me more or will it finally be merciful and just work so i wait posted by m at 10 21 am 4 comments sadness as much as i bemoan my own issues in the scheme of things i have nothing to complain about this was especially made clear when i heard about two tragedies in the blogging world first my friend stephanie who is due with her first child in a little over a month over at my life lost her mom and her best friend last week to a very nasty strain of breast cancer my mom is a breast cancer survivor and it just hit home so hard that i shouldn t take her remission or her for that matter for granted another blogger laura set up a donation page in stephanie s mom s name and i hope you might be able to spare a small amount to support the fight against breast cancer any amount can be charged right to your credit card all goes directly to the susan g komen for a cure charity of course it s tax deductible too i also heard some terrible news through little blue elephant that a little girl in guatemala waiting for her adoptive family to come pick her up they were just weeks away from their travel date and the adoption had been finalized in guatemala was murdered along with her foster family in a home invasion robbery the family has a donation page set up at their blog for anyone who is able to help them out it s on the left hand column titled chip in my heart breaks for them and for the little girl josi and her foster family what a terrible tragedy please keep them in your thoughts thank you everyone for your time posted by m at 10 18 am no comments thursday november 6 2008 i m back got home yesterday from venice croatia i m a little too out of it to write a full review but it was definitely a great trip unfortunately our luggage was lost but eventually found us in dubrovnik after 6 days of a 9 day trip we spent way too much time on vacation shopping for underwear and socks but even with that we got some good stories out of it right now i m trying to get a hold of the iui coordinator at the infertility clinic i have to say she sucks i was reserving judgment for so long but really i can t believe how difficult communication with her has been i emailed her before i left letting her know she could call my prescription in for my meds this was a response to her e mail a few hours earlier no response until about 3 days ago when i got an e mail from her saying she had been out of the office and had the pharmacy contacted me nope af started on wednesday california time and i was hoping that today i could get my baseline sonogram and actually have a go at this cycle but i e mailed her from the venice airport yesterday saying i would be home today and could take any appointment any time just make me one at any office and i d be there no response i called and left a message this morning no response my window has come and gone at this point there isn t enough time for me to get the injectable meds there are just too many obstacles and i m just fed up i can t stop crying and it s just so upsetting even tough i was terribly uncomfortable flying for 14 hours while dealing with af i was so cheerful i really thought everything was going to work out it s not i m pissed off and just feel helpless i need a break posted by m at 12 29 pm 3 comments thursday october 23 2008 a whole lot of cycle talk going on time has got me down right now everything is so complicated and all i have to deal with are delays this cycle i had my hsg next cycle i was supposed to have my first iui but i m going to be on vacation possibly at the start of my cycle or not who knows not me certainly i never know what my body is planning on doing maybe af will show a few days before i come home maybe she ll show a few days later heck maybe i m pregnant she ll never show so now i ve decided to try try try to make this next cycle happen it all depends on my least favorite aunt aunt flo on monday i m having all my pre conception bloodwork done later that afternoon i leave for venice croatia when i get back if af starts i ll need to go in and get an ultrasound and get my meds get the latest plan plus i was supposed to take an injections class and there won t be any time for that as i told my doctor at my first visit i ve given my cat insulin and subcutaneous fluids so at least i have some experience she didn t dismiss me at all with that so i m hoping with just some instruction i should be able to take care of it the only reason i m really hoping i can do the iui this cycle is because if it s successful i d be due in july my dh is a teacher i really want him around of course 2 years ago i had my mind completely set on conceiving a baby that would be born in the summer of 07 so timing hasn t really been my friend for any of this i m off to go have lunch with my mom i m considering confiding in her about all of this but it s not really the relationship we have we ll see how the mood strikes me posted by m at 8 09 pm 3 comments monday october 13 2008 hsg today well on the positive side no tube blockage and so far no cramping oh another plus it s over i did not enjoy this experience at all i didn t like being taken from an exam room to an operating room with a stupid sheet wrapped around my waist i also didn t like the touching prodding poking that went along with this exam i also did not enjoy the fight i got in with my dh over him not making an illegal u turn in order to get me to the appointment on time me god damn it can you stop driving like a little old lady sheesh him i m not going to starbucks anymore so we can save 3 00 a day and you want me to blow that all on a 300 00 ticket yeah good times the human brain is so crazy i know this exam was very very uncomfortable sort of painful for short amounts of time and yet 2 hours later i can barely remember it i just remember telling myself this sucks anyway i m feeling fine and looking forward to the next steps hopefully tomorrow i ll find out what exactly those are posted by m at 6 51 pm 8 comments sunday september 28 2008 the plan i m not feeling so great dh i talked for a long time about our options and although he said he was excited about our next steps i m filled with dread worry i m really shocked at the price of the injectable meds i had heard they were expensive but i thought that meant 300 00 or so not 3 000 00 i m not sure if that figure is correct because all i know is that on the sheet i was given of what a typical iui w injectables costs it said 3 200 00 each time i m assuming that includes the medication but on another sheet it said that the medicine alone would cost 3 500 00 each cycle so i ve got to get that sorted out assuming that the procedure meds will be in the 3 200 00 range we can afford for me to do an iui 3 4 times this will mean that some of our money that s earmarked for our roth ira retirement fund will be siphoned into the ttc fund there s not really a ttc fund but there might as well be if those attempts are not successful then we are done we can t afford to try any more after a year we can start the adoption process this is all breaking my heart it s so much pressure and i just want to be a parent but i m just feeling this pull to try the iui just see if it would work adoption is so close to my heart yet i m just not ready to give up on being able to be pregnant i just don t know that i can wait a full year to adopt my poor husband he thought he was being so great when he went worked all the numbers and came up with a plan but all it resulted in m...
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