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description= FML - FMyLife: Laugh life off by sharing your daily mishaps and embarrassments, because it’s good to share.;
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Text of the page (random words):
the follow up nearly fmls search submit your fml have you just experienced an fml moment feel like sharing it with the other fml users your instinct was right because it s good to laugh life off follow the instructions below and if your story gets through the moderation process it ll published in the next 24 hours or so your name gender gender male female other enby transfem transmasc email remaining characters 320 your story must start with today and end with fml txt language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people s eyeballs so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your fml don t use this space for discussions advertising or spam or for posting anything which isn t an fml furthermore it s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords so stop believing things you ve read on message boards don t try reposting old fmls we re not that daft make me anonymous please read our guidelines for posting i have read and accepted the terms and conditions submit all the fmls wish i wasn t here by i hate camping 28 03 2024 10 00 united states today my family is getting ready for a vacation my idea of a vacation is being on a beach staying in a luxurious hotel with cute guys and great restaurants everywhere unfortunately we are going to be sleeping in a cold tent in the mountains cook over a fire and listen to bears stomp around at night fml i agree your life sucks 9 you deserved it 9 share tweet share cough up by anonymous 28 03 2024 08 00 united states today i ve been being harassed by a collections office for over a month every time i try to call them back no answer my bank froze my accounts over it i finally got an answer today not only did they have the wrong person but i have no idea who the claimant is the bank knows but my accounts are still frozen fml i agree your life sucks 68 you deserved it 7 share tweet share dead bug walking by drink up 28 03 2024 06 00 united states today i was about to take a drink from my cup when i saw a bug making its way along the lid when i saw it going down into the drink i quickly ripped off the lid to stop it i wasn t fast enough and watched it drown thanks for that fml i agree your life sucks 68 you deserved it 16 share tweet share disreputable by anonymous 28 03 2024 03 00 united states today i was supposed to train a new hire grateful to finally have someone else here with me on my shift he didn t show up i found out later that his mother didn t want him working here because she thinks he s too smart for this job i found him working at the mcdonald s a few blocks away we pay more than they do fml i agree your life sucks 145 you deserved it 16 share tweet share you ok dude by anonymous 28 03 2024 00 00 united states today i walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car fml i agree your life sucks 192 you deserved it 18 share tweet share pirate move by anonymous this fml is from back in 2015 but it s good stuff today i was kayaking with my friend we figured it d be awesome if i jumped from my kayak straight into his sounded good in theory one flipped kayak a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later i m starting to think it wasn t the best idea fml i agree your life sucks 9 687 you deserved it 26 375 share tweet share new man by anonymous 27 03 2024 17 00 united states today i arrived home having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved my idiot daughter s reaction when she saw me who are you and how did you get in the house fml i agree your life sucks 103 you deserved it 316 share tweet share dick move by anonymous 27 03 2024 21 00 united kingdom today a gorgeous girl was making eyes at me in a cafe and she actually came and said hi to me before i could say hi back my brother said to her stop making eyes at my boyfriend you slut she left upset and i wanted to murder him he thought it was the best prank ever fml i agree your life sucks 390 you deserved it 57 share tweet share happy birthday by leah magers 27 03 2024 14 00 united states today it s my birthday my birthday present was a pelvic exam and not even the good kind of pelvic exam woo hoo fml i agree your life sucks 222 you deserved it 48 share tweet share not that there s anything wrong with that by anonymous this fml is from back in 2009 but it s good stuff united states today i went on a blind date a girl from work had set me up with apparently my co worker thinks i m gay fml i agree your life sucks 51 273 you deserved it 4 585 share tweet share the genetics expert has logged on by fucking moron 27 03 2024 10 00 united states today i met my grandson even though my son and his wife are both lily white the child was clearly half black i pulled my son aside to have a word but he said her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes it s really rare i can t believe i raised this dumbass fml i agree your life sucks 332 you deserved it 205 share tweet share communication breakdown by anonymous 27 03 2024 08 00 united states dallas today my mom who still refuses to get a mobile phone was late coming home so i was sent to buy dinner dad wanted seafood i picked it up and returned only to find mom was already back with mcdonald s dad insisted we eat that despite my protests and my money i d spent on his request i made sure mom saw the verizon ads fml i agree your life sucks 287 you deserved it 53 share tweet share villain origin story by sim pleton 27 03 2024 11 00 united kingdom today after international flights while being five months pregnant to elope with a good man which my family disapproved of then paying thousands for his visa with limited finances he told me after i struggled with breastfeeding days after the birth that he didn t care about me and had only cared whilst his baby was inside me fml i agree your life sucks 350 you deserved it 268 share tweet share drowning by ihateschool 26 03 2024 22 00 canada burnaby today i ve been sick for five days and i have two college essays and a exam coming up along with a few other assignments i ve been working non stop for five days with less than six hours of sleep per day and more assignments are flowing in as i am working fml i agree your life sucks 298 you deserved it 84 share tweet share the biggest lie by dumb this fml is from back in 2009 but it s good stuff united states today i found out that i was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues my parents didn t think it was important enough to mention it to me why hadn t i figured it out they also lied to me about how old i was fml i agree your life sucks 75 768 you deserved it 4 656 share tweet share rare w by anonymous 26 03 2024 18 00 united states today i found out one of the neighborhood kids has been stealing from my mailbox several packages marked delivered had gone missing over the last few months so i set up a trail cam in the yard i notified the usps and the police they confronted him at his house he s been reselling everything i ordered on ebay fml i agree your life sucks 494 you deserved it 60 share tweet share thanks son by honey apples 27 03 2024 05 00 philippines paranaque city today my grade school son s teacher came over for a conference when she sat on our one seater sofa the upholstery broke causing her to sink deeper back my son desperately tried to pull her up and out while saying to her teacher no you have to have a butt as big as my mom s to safely sit in that chair fml i agree your life sucks 332 you deserved it 97 share tweet share the cat s out of the bag by anonymous 26 03 2024 14 00 united states milwaukee today i was shopping with my husband at the self checkout one of the items i was buying for him as a gift didn t register as we were walking out i get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office where i was accused of stealing fml i agree your life sucks 234 you deserved it 285 share tweet share keynote by andrew this fml is from back in 2009 but it s good stuff canada today there was a meeting at work during which i had to give a presentation to my boss and other attendants the first subject i had to tackle was how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced its contents with some crayons and a fluffy teddy bear fml i agree your life sucks 48 395 you deserved it 5 558 share tweet share dreams never end by anonymous 26 03 2024 08 00 united states chicago today my wife had a dream in which i died while she was pregnant this is troubling especially since i had the exact same dream the day before fml i agree your life sucks 468 you deserved it 58 share tweet share technique by icandothecancan this fml is from back in 2014 but it s good stuff united states duncan today while in the yard my 18 month old son decided to take off running into the road where a car was driving i rushed after him only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning it must have looked like i was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit fml i agree your life sucks 46 934 you deserved it 6 227 share tweet share stars of cctv by stfu lil brat smh 26 03 2024 05 00 united states today while i was shopping i spotted a lady who had the last of an item i wanted in her cart she went off to the dressing room so seeing my opportunity i went and grabbed it from her cart and put it in mine i hadn t noticed her bratty ass daughter next to the cart who then yelled i saw that mommy some lady s stealing from your cart fml i agree your life sucks 46 you deserved it 1 609 share tweet share empathy is a thing by ori goddammit 26 03 2024 02 00 united states today my teacher made the class do origami as a disabled and very ham fisted individual i was the only one who struggled while everyone else seemed to get it effortlessly i started getting extremely upset as it just did not work and the teacher would not understand just how impossible it is for me fml i agree your life sucks 421 you deserved it 115 share tweet share maddening by anonymous 26 03 2024 01 00 united states warren today and for the umpteenth time my cellphone customer service told me that i have to talk to the fcc due to a screwup on both sides in my cellphone plan the thing is i can t get around their stupid automated system 0 is disabled and i don t want to brute force the 20 other numbers to find a living breathing human fml i agree your life sucks 332 you deserved it 78 share tweet share nutritional goodness by homedoggieo this fml is from back in 2009 but it s good stuff united states today i was eating a croissant after eating half of it and was about to take another bite a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table where it scuttled away there was a whole family of them living in there fml i agree your life sucks 64 213 you deserved it 4 106 share tweet share better out than in by anonymous 25 03 2024 20 00 united states today i was in the middle of a chemistry exam when i felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in i sit in the back so i tried to do the one cheek sneak it came out sounding like a loud obnoxious kazoo the professor remarked no hazardous chemicals outside the lab everyone laughed fml i agree your life sucks 352 you deserved it 190 share tweet share mr butterfingers by anonymous 25 03 2024 19 00 canada today i dropped my phone i d only just bought this new phone last night it barely survived 12 hours fml i agree your life sucks 166 you deserved it 389 share tweet share level up by danny 25 03 2024 14 00 united states today i found out who my ex girlfriend left me for he is more successful than i am and comes from a supportive and unconditionally loving family he is bigger taller and 4 years younger than me to add insult i m only 25 but this rich kid is in a band and plays guitar better than me fml i agree your life sucks 395 you deserved it 154 share tweet share one day by anonymous this fml is from back in 2013 but it s good stuff australia gosford today i paused the movie my girlfriend and i were watching and told her for the first time that i loved her her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film fml i agree your life sucks 40 657 you deserved it 7 181 share tweet share scarfing it down by anonymous 25 03 2024 10 00 united states today my mom sent me home with some delicious looking bbq ribs because i d missed a cookout due to work i set them on the counter intent on putting them in the oven but had to make a quick run to the bathroom i came back to find my roommate s cat sitting in the plate covered in sauce as he helped himself fml i agree your life sucks 303 you deserved it 347 share tweet share 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 keywords parents mental health kids love pregnancy weird sexism cheating relationship advice work transportation cars relatable neighbours sex aita break ups dogs animals intimacy awkward death miscellaneous friends cute movies scary annoying money management the top today i d thought that i d found the new love of my life she wanted me i wanted her we were compatible on so many levels i have known her for 15 years and she had asked me on a date last night she unfriended blocked and ghosted me fml i agree your life sucks 506 you deserved it 100 today i managed to convince a girl to come back to my place for a bit of fun unfortunately i was wearing cheap new black underwear and some of its fibers had stuck themselves to my knob making it look like a weird fleshy caterpillar i didn t get lucky fml i agree your life sucks 30 317 you deserved it 20 409 see the top fmls the top today i had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night she was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her i ve loved this girl for two years but i promised her i wouldn t let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone even me fml i agree your life sucks 73 038 you deserved it 12 782 today i m eating a salad with a sparkling water once again i m 7 months pregnant my husband says he ll leave me if i ever get too fat after i give birth i can t afford to be a single mom nor leave the marriage so this is the cross i have to bear fml i agree your life sucks 783 you deserved it 239 today the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg when i finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off he said woah there mr pistorius then said he ll avoid using the restroom now in case i decide to shoot him through the door fml i agree your life sucks 30 038 you deserved it 1 892 today i found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn t because my son is wanking like a gibbon as i first thought he s just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff then hiding it all in a box in his closet fucking hell son fml i agree your life sucks 41 495 you deserved it 4 501 today my son and his girl best friend have been dancing around each other for a year unwilling to make the first move it s a gr...
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