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Text of the page (random words):
saying it yet and then you did halfway up the path complaining about your back mentioning your shift monday yeah down the road memorial i m on the floor most days med surg glamorous stuff like ivs and people trying to take their own catheters out christ it s a living a hard one you shrugged picking at the label of your bottle pays the bills and plants apparently you got a jungle in there don t start in on my plants i m not startin i m observin i think maybe you re judging me little bit his mouth tipped they got names you stared at him some of them oh i gotta hear this no you don t the one you almost dropped on my boot that s harold joel laughed for real then head tipping back dimples on full cruel display harold he survived a breakup and a move and my mother s cat he gets a name fair enough harold he toasted the empty air welcome to the neighborhood harold you re ridiculous hey i am not just didn t actually expect that you name your plants you asked i did a truck went by at the mouth of the cul de sac music thumping then gone somewhere a mower droned the light had started to go gold around the edges that late afternoon texas lie that said it might cool off and never did you from here you asked near enough worked all over came back he picked at his beer label brother and i run a construction business tommy he s the pretty one talks more i do the part where things actually stand up when we re done you re saying you re not pretty it left your mouth before you could catch it joel looked at you sideways amused i m sayin tommy s prettier you can settle the argument when ya meet him he ll love that i didn t mean yeah you did not unkind almost pleased it s alright i got a mirror you took a longer drink than you needed you told him about ellis in pieces the way you always did with new people testing how much of your life was safe to share you asked about sarah and he had a hundred small things she hated crust on sandwiches and loved crust on pizza and would fight you if you pointed out the hypocrisy she was on a kick about learning guitar played soccer she had joel s eyes he said then looked almost embarrassed to have said it her mom s good to her he added after a second we ain t good at each other anymore that s alright kid s what matters you believed him that was the unsettling part you believed him entirely too fast music wandered in he liked the old stuff tom petty stevie ray cash when the night got long you told him your playlist would hurt his feelings he asked for the worst offender and you said the name of a song ellis had gotten stuck in your head for three weeks and joel made a face so grave you snorted beer up your nose that s awful he said okay grandpa joel looked like you personally offended him and gently shoved your shoulder with his you wiped your mouth laughing eyes wet alright your turn favorite movie he thought about it mouth pursed like he was deciding whether to be honest curtis and viper he said you blinked no way uh yes way joel that movie is horrible it s a perfect movie joel it s so old and cringe exactly he gestured with the bottle passionate in a way that made him look younger you should try to watch it again i will not you will i ll lend it to you you own that movie course i do you shook your head grinning unbelievable the sun slid the house went warmer then softer your beer emptied his did as well neither of you stood up right away you yawned into your hand before you could stop it joel noticed he braced his hands on his knees and sat forward that s my cue you almost said don t it rose up so fast it scared you come inside the house is empty ellis isn t here the bed isn t even made and i don t care put your mouth on me and make the last year shut up for an hour you swallowed it you were a mother you were a woman who had just gotten a new life you did not pull a stranger off your porch by his belt loop because he had dimples and kind eyes and a voice that sat low in your stomach yeah you said i ve still got a bed to make before i pass out on the floor like a raccoon he stood offered a hand without making a production of it you took it he pulled you up like you weighed nothing and let go before it could turn into something welcome to the neighborhood he said thanks for the unpaid labor friendly old neighbor joel anytime he stepped down into the walk then looked back squinting a little in the last light you need somethin you know where i am across the way light s on most nights i ll try not to abuse that abuse it if you need it a small smile night night joel you watched him cross the street he didn t look back until he reached his yard and then it was only a lift of his hand easy neighborly his house was darker than yours brick a truck in the drive that had seen work he went inside the door shut you stood there a second longer than you needed to beer bottle dangling from your fingers the cul de sac gone blue at the edges then you went in you locked the door deadbolt handle you stood with your palm on the wood and listened to the new house settle around you fridge ac kicking a tick in the walls you didn t know yet you made the bed fitted sheet fighting you pillows that still smelled like the package the window looked out toward the street toward his house and you told yourself you were only checking the latch when you looked across the street at his you lay down with a sigh that took the whole day with it the ceiling was unfamiliar the dark was unfamiliar your body was still full of heat and beer and the ghost of a hand taking a box from your arms you thought of honey eyes you thought of that mustache and hated yourself a little but smiled anyway you thought of ellis coming home to his room to dinosaurs to a nightlight to a life that was finally just the two of you you eventually fell asleep on the thought of your new neighbor across the street if a light stayed on longer than it needed to you didn t see it you were already asleep you were woken up to the sound of someone knocking softly at your door for a second you didn t know where you were wrong ceiling wrong light then it came back to you boxes beer on the porch honey eyes and the knocking came again sharper you groaned into the mattress hold on you yelled voice cracking with sleep halfway through the night you d given up the ac had died with a pathetic click and refused to do anything after that but blow warm you d stripped your tank and underwear and kicked the sheet off the air in the room was thick enough to chew your skin felt salted you found your silk robe on the floor and wrapped it around yourself the belt barely held the silk clung wherever you were still damp you padded down the hall grimacing at the sticky floor and put your eye to the peephole joel standing on your porch in the morning glare rubbing the back of his neck like he d talked himself into this and then talked himself out of it and then done it anyway something in his hands a paper bag two coffees from the look of the tray your stomach did a stupid little flip you opened the door hey joel sorry he looked at you then down then back up to your face so fast it almost made you dizzy red crept up his neck into his ears endearing painfully this big capable man going shy because you d answered the door in a robe you had to bite the inside of your cheek so you wouldn t laugh hey he said sorry if i woke ya darlin just thought i d bring ya some breakfast you stared at him you joel you didn t have to do that you stepped back and ushered him in because leaving him on the porch felt rude and because you wanted him in your kitchen more than you wanted to admit he smiled small almost sheepish i know how hard a move is specially as a single parent figured you could use a pick me up that did it not the dimples not the coffee the way he said single parent like he d actually thought about your night about ellis about you waking up in a house full of boxes and no extra hands you went to him and wrapped your arms around him before your mush of a brain could form another thought he went still for a second then his hands slid around your waist warm and certain settling at the small of your back like they d been made for it your heart slammed so hard in your chest surely he could feel it he smelled amazing his shirt was soft he was solid you pulled back just enough to whisper it against his shoulder sorry he shook his head his thumb moved barely s alright angel angel nobody had ever called you that not derek not in the beginning not even when he was trying the word landed low and sweet and ruined you a little you felt yourself turn to putty in his hands heat blooming under the robe that had nothing to do with the broken ac you were still wrapped around him he squeezed your hips light testing you gasped and there god there it was the press of him against your thigh half hard through his jeans pressing against your thigh through the silk of your robe that was all that covered you one little string he could pull it and you d be bare in front of him you should have stepped back you didn t couldn t the pull was worse in the daylight meaner you d spent a year being careful and lonely and proud of it and now this man had brought you coffee and called you angel and your body was done fighting maybe you were reading it wrong you kissed him anyway not cute or polite you smashed your mouth against his he made a startled sound and then he melted no other word for it his surprise broke and he came after you arms tightening around your waist dragging you in until there was no space left the bag rustled when it hit the counter you didn t see him set it down you only felt his hands span your back and the kiss turned deep hungry his mouth was warm coffee on his tongue when you opened for him he kissed like he did everything else steady thorough like he had all morning and intended to use it you whimpered into him when his tongue slid against yours and he made a low sound that you felt in your teeth your fingers found his shirt then his shoulders then the nape of his neck where his hair was still a little damp from a shower he tilted his head and kissed you harder slower the kind of kiss that made your thoughts smear you chased his mouth when he eased off needy and he gave it back to you with a huff of laughter that died as soon as you nipped his lower lip his mustache scraped your skin you d imagined it yesterday the real thing made your stomach drop joel he swallowed his name out of your mouth and kissed you again he walked you backward without seeming to decide to your hips bumped the kitchen island he lifted you like you weighed nothing and set you on the counter your legs opened for him on instinct he stepped between them like he belonged there denim rough against the bare insides of your thighs your robe riding up with the movement you were so aware of how little you had on it made you dizzy he kissed along your jaw then down the side of your neck you whimpered and threaded your fingers into his hair holding him there tipping your head to give him more access your ex used to kiss your mouth and then get to the point joel lingered his beard scratched his mouth was wet and hot when he found the place under your ear you made a noise you didn t recognize he smiled against your skin if this is what i get when i bring a pretty girl coffee he murmured guess i ll have to do it more often you hummed breathless legs tightening at his hips mm how many pretty girls you bringing coffee to he nipped your neck sharp enough to make you gasp just you pretty girl you moaned at that embarrassing immediate you were already soaked silk clinging between your legs the heat of him and the heat of the house stacking until you couldn t tell them apart he kissed and sucked at your throat like he had a point to make and you knew he was surely leaving marks you should have cared ellis wasn t home this was a problem for monday you arched into his mouth and let him his hands ran up and down your back mapping you he squeezed your hips again too careful and you could feel the hold in him the restraint the way he was keeping himself on a leash that was the last thing you wanted touch me joel it came out wrecked a whimper more than a sentence please he pulled back enough to look at you his eyes were darker than yesterday his mouth was wet you sure you nodded too fast please something in him settled then he had you off the counter and in his arms your legs wrapping around his waist you laughed once startled and hid it in his neck he carried you down the hall like the house already belonged to both of you your room he turned into your room you thought how d he know where my room was the door had been open boxes an unmade bed it was obvious if you looked you shook it off you wanted his mouth more than you wanted the question he laid you down like you might bruise gentle even now then he stood over you and just looked and the looking was almost worse than the kissing dark eyes soft face that contradiction again you could feel yourself pulse for him shameless empty and waiting he leaned down and pulled the string the knot gave silk fell open slow as a held breath and then you were just there breasts stomach the wet shine of you in the hot morning light joel groaned you are so fuckin beautiful you sat up the sleeves slid off your arms you grabbed his shirt in both fists and pulled him down and he came with a chuckle that warmed your mouth so eager f me hm you whimpered and nodded already pushing the shirt up he let you helped you you dragged it over his head and put your hands on him chest the little bit of coarse hair there the heat of his skin the working muscle you d watched sweat through boxes yesterday real older better than any picture your lonely brain had tried to build last night he kissed you again flush against your chest this time the hair on him teasing your nipples until you made a broken sound then he left your mouth and went lower kissing and licking a slow suck at the hollow of your throat the slope of your breast he took your nipple into his mouth and you forgot how to breathe his hand found the other thumb dragging squeezing just enough derek had never paid attention like this nobody had or maybe it had just been so long your body was lying to you it didn t feel like a lie though you were a mess under him hips shifting fingers lost in his hair the robe a useless puddle under your back he didn t rush he switched sides before you could go numb from wanting gave each breast the same patience then kissed down the center of you your stomach jumped when he nipped your hip you yelped and moaned in the same breath he looked up from there mouth wet eyes wicked smirk cutting his cheek alright if i taste ya angel you nodded so fast it was almost funny he chuckled low pleased and the sound of it went straight through you use your words yes you whispered then because the heat and the ache and the year of nothing had burned the pride off y...
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