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from uncategorized timeline of change september 12 2012 tags buying a house family humor life life decisions my life people personal real estate self help single 10 30 p m friday it s friday night and i m waiting for my realtor to send me the paperwork to sign to make an offer on the house i love when the hell did i become such an adult a year and a half ago i was going through my quarter life crisis and making lists about signs you are an adult when i read those old posts i m amazed at how far i ve come the past few months i ve been looking at townhouses and condos with a realtor you see i wasn t supposed to buy anything for another month or so because i am um currently under a lease at my apartment but let s not let that get in the way of the house i love the moment i stepped foot into this house my stress levels went into overdrive i loved the house everything about it but it was a little okay a little more than a little outside where i wanted to be on price so i spent more than a week agonizing i wondered if i should wait another year to get a house save more money then i couldn t stop thinking about the house and how much i wanted to build my life there i budgeted then i looked for savings then i budgeted some more i finally decided i could afford it but i would definitely have to make a few sacrifices now i m making an offer at some point today i transitioned from agonizing over the decision to getting excited really super excited earlier tonight i went out with my friend megan and we walked through several art galleries and shops i started to mentally decorate the house i haven t even bought yet the color scheme the paintings i want to put on the walls the type of hand soap i ll have in the guest bathroom i nearly lost it when we stumbled across someone selling terrariums i ve been obsessed with the concept of owning a terrarium since i saw these in oprah magazine i began thinking about what kind of terrarium i was going to buy for my house we ate from the food carts delicious lettuce wraps and blue crab stuffed wontons from thai cabin and i thought i m going to make wontons in my new house okay i didn t really think that i never cook but i wanted an excuse to share these yummy pictures delicious lettuce wraps from thai cabin here they are making the fried wontons megan took this awesome picture on her phone here s a picture of me when we stopped to have a drink i m so happy and so nervous the point is i m so excited i m buying a house an amazing beautiful perfect house 11 20 p m friday my realtor just told me that there is an open house scheduled for sunday any open house in my house aka strangers walking through my house messing up the brand new carpet and touching all the doorknobs strangers possibly putting in offers better offers and buying my house for the record i don t think i could ever be a real estate mogul this is just too damn stressful so i m just here with my thoughts i decided to write to get my mind off of it god i haven t written in so long i have so many things i want to write about you should see the list of blog topics i have on my phone i ve started calling it the list of things i ll never blog about because i never blog anymore i ve been so busy with other things going on i ve been enjoying my summer ok i m also super lazy maybe i ll write more once i have an office the house has three bedrooms and one of them is going to make the perfect office yeah that s when the blog will pick up i can t hardly wait 10 a m saturday we have submitted our offer i wonder how long it will take for them to get back with me i have a busy day ahead of me i m getting my hair dyed and cut i know shocking i m not a natural blonde i figure i could be homeowner at any time and i ll need to be more careful with my money therefore i should buy everything i need now smart i know while i m getting my hair done i tell my hairdresser about the different houses i ve found and by hairdresser i mean a woman who mostly does men s hair because she works in a barber shop gabe s barber shop to be specific this is the same hairdresser who set me up on a blind date when i was newly single people always think it s funny when i tell them that i get my hair done at a barber shop but i love my hairdresser and i would follow her anywhere and sometimes a barber shop can provide good scenery if you are looking that is while she painstakingly applies a bleach like product to my hair i tell her about murder house the house that i sort of liked for like a minute i found murder house one night while scrolling through the house listings online everything in the house was white the walls the countertops the cabinets white white white chef and i are in the middle of a breaking bad super marathon so i have illegal activity on the mind i told my realtor i thought the previous owners had murdered someone and painted everything white to cover the evidence clearly that s my future home but really it wasn t such a bad place the upstairs layout was awesome and everything was workable it had an amazing walk in closet and a nice yard and deck it had pretty hardwood floors and a big kitchen but the downstairs living space was awful there were two very small living rooms in which neither could fit a couch and a tv and there was nothing you could do about the layout it was just going to be like that forever then there was chinese food house named because it was on magnolia lane and my realtor and i kept accidentally typing mongolia on text which made me crave chinese food hard to follow i know that place had a nice kitchen and downstairs floor plan but it backed up to a somewhat busy road and the upstairs bathrooms needed some serious work neither of these houses were quite right and neither of them had a pool which i had decided was a must have after laying by this all summer my amazing apartment complex pool pretty amazing right 3 30 p m saturday i m blonder than i started the day and i ve lost about three inches of hair they haven t responded to my offer yet it feels like it s been days i bug my realtor and he promises an answer soon i take a nap to make time go by faster 6 p m saturday i wake up from my nap and think about how i totally wasted the afternoon i should have gone to the pool instead especially considering i won t have a pool for much longer you see my dream house isn t my dream house after all it doesn t have a pool everywhere that had a pool was either way out of my price range or they had homeowner association fees from 250 400 a month i want a pool but i don t want a pool that much and i don t want to give this house up this house with everything i want simply because there s no pool luckily the house is right by pony pasture a place where richmonders go to swim and lay out on the rocks of the james river i could bike to pony pasture if i owned a bike but first things first i have to get the house finally a counter offer we begin negotiating which feels sort of surreal because i don t know what the hell i m doing i follow my realtor s lead it s also kind of fun i may just get my house today 7 p m saturday i need a drink i enlist dawn and dakari to go to don pepe one of only two restaurants in walking distance of my apartment i drink strawberry daiquiris and eat lots of chips calories don t count because i m pre celebrating you only buy your first house once a sad part of the evening is when i find out my grandfather from my step dad s side has died it s been a long time coming but i still feel bad for my step dad and his family i ll miss bummer that s what we called him i really think he d be proud of me tonight though i bug chef while he s at work i tell him how anxious i am to get an answer i can t wait for him to get off so we can celebrate together 9 30 p m saturday it s strange to me how far i ve come a few years ago i wasn t sure what i wanted to do or where i wanted to live then i spent so much time traveling and really missed being near my family i felt like i missed a lot of my sister s pregnancy i realized how much i love having family and friends nearby i started working with a really great client and developed a new excitement about my work i was doing new things learning a lot and working with wonderful people i began to hang out with friends in the city more and learned to parallel park i started to like the city i started to have favorite restaurants and shops and now i m putting a bid on a house with a richmond address the house is not in the downtown area but just south of the city which gives me the suburb feeling i like and i ll be much closer to work and fun best yet i won t have to see that look on people s faces when i tell them i live in chester for the record i still love the hell out of chester i plan to come back often when i sneak into my old apartment complex s pool that is 10 p m saturday i ve now thought all day about how much i love the house from its hardwood floors to the sweet bathrooms to the renovated kitchen i love so much about it i can t wait to park in the garage in the winter and grill out in the summer i can t wait for the first time i give someone the tour i love how soft the carpet feels on my toes yes i ve already walked around barefoot even before i put in an offer we head home from don pepe full and a little tipsy my phone rings i got the house while i m calling about everyone i know dawn brings down some champagne i couldn t be more excited celebrating after i found out i got the place here s my beautiful townhouse i wanted a townhouse so i wouldn t have to worry about yardwork or outside upkeep isn t she cute most pictures borrowed from the listing website here s the kitchen another view of the kitchen i love the fridge i love the hardwood floors on the left side of the picture you ll see my shoes because i was walking around barefoot even though i didn t own the place here s the dining room the house is staged this isn t my furniture i love the ceiling in the dining room and the chandelier here s the living room area there s a half bathroom downstairs here s the master bedroom it s so big here s the master bathroom i m super excited about the double vanity i knew i had to have this place when i saw the awesome soaking tub in the master bathroom here s one of the two extra bedrooms one will be a guest room and the other will be an office here s the full guest bathroom upstairs here s part of the view from my patio it was so important to me that i could see some green in my backyard and this is just great i have so many other things to tell you about the past month but i really wanted to share this news first buying this house is a huge milestone for me it s taken me so long to get here and i m incredibly excited about my future thanks for letting me share this time with you all ps if you are looking to buy a house yourself and you live in the richmond area my realtor was fantastic we had a lot of fun and he has been really helpful throughout the process his name is mike hogan here s his website and here s his twitter account copyright 2012 simply solo blog by catherine gryp all rights reserved 56 comments from uncategorized simply solo spotlight how to deal with the post breakup blues september 4 2012 tags advice break up breakup date dating divorce finding love life loss love men relationship relationships self help sex simply solo spotlight single women hope everyone had a fantastic labor day weekend today s simply solo spotlight comes to us from grace pamer author of www romanceneverdies com a blog which gives insights into the art of writing love letters and putting together winning marriage proposal ideas if you like today s guest post please check out the article grace wrote for us a few months ago asking the age old question once a cheat always a cheat quick shameless plug do you have a story to tell advice to offer did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it i d love to have you as the next simply solo spotlight find out how you can be the next writer for simply solo here how to deal with the post breakup blues breaking up is indeed hard to do this shouldn t be surprising to most yet some of the advice out there for handling breakups can make things even worse for someone going through the trauma of a breakup suggestions of how to get an ex back revenge tactics and pushing people to get back out into the dating world too soon are the exact opposite of what someone should be doing after a relationship ends the end of a relationship is a loss just like death time is necessary to adjust to this new single life after identifying oneself as a couple for so long these following suggestions will help individuals deal with the post breakup blues in a healthy not hurtful fashion take time to grieve being sad doesn t make you a failure it s all part of the process photo courtesy of alex guerrero grief is a process and a breakup is a loss no matter how volatile or amicable the breakup the individuals need time to heal and adapt even those who initiated the relationship ending the misinformation out there that one should immediately get back in the dating pool is as inappropriate as telling a widow to start dating a few weeks after a funeral one can t escape grieving it catches up with them eventually so taking time to heal is the most important step after a breakup let go of anger even if a man or woman was tremendously hurt or shocked by the relationship s ending holding on to the anger or looking for revenge is going to stand in the way of healing energy needs to be focused inward not outward to truly recover from the loss with the exception of abusive relationships there is some good to come from all romantic partnerships life is like a school and relationships are a part of the learning reflecting on how one grew as a person because of the union helps those recovering from the loss feel healthy and empowered not like a victim instead of wasting energy focusing on what was lost a negative pay attention to what you gained from the relationship a positive accept it has ended it is tremendously damaging to self esteem to fixate on the partner who left hoping he or she will come back even if there is a chance for reconciliation in the future it likely won t happen if you have ceased living your own life while obsessing over your ex to properly handle the post breakup blues one must live in the moment and let go so that he or she can begin living again the future is exactly that the future all we have is the here and now getting to know ourselves again though the pain of a breakup is difficult seeing it as an opportunity to get to know oneself again is a tremendously positive thing sometimes in relationships the line between couple and individual becomes blurred breaking up can provide time to grow as an individual once more some of the healthiest recoveries from breakups occur when people begin to follow their passions 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