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the surgery and was out of the hospital in a week sitting on my dad s lap he was the one that pushed me to do a half marathon before i hit 50 we did it it was an accomplishment for the both of us here he is now following in my foot steps oh he s had his struggles since he s been out there aside from the whole covid thing he loaded up his car with everything important to him and using google maps slowly made his way across the country as a parent i wanted to do it with him and be there for him but i knew he had to do this himself he did dammit he gave me regular text updates as he progressed across the country taking routes i ve never explored before expressing very little of his experiences just being more concerned about getting there and being ready for work as soon as he gets there he arranged for a place to stay with an old friend that was living out there when we did all this we had a huge support system family lived out there that we didn t even know yet he knows a few friends and some people he was close with at the age of 4 who are now all grown up but of course is not close with he s had to do all of the regular things you need to do to make a life for yourself things he hasn t done for himself before he s now finalizing the start of a new career of his own making i have a sense of great pride for what he has become he s done some crazy shit in his life and has had struggles as a result but he s figuring it out he s persevering i think that s what i see that most impresses me about his actions he seems to have a goal that he wants to accomplish and he is just making it happen it was something we never had we just took the opportunities as they were presented and did something positive with them he has an idea of what he wants and a lifestyle he wants to endure as proud as i am of what my son is becoming i can t help but also be concerned with him following in my foot steps as i mentioned in a previous musical post one of my most heart felt songs that i have is cats in the cradle the lyrics express how i feel my relationship transpired with my father so i thought i would be different with my son now it looks like he will have grown up to be just like me i miss my son posted in at work leave a comment music to me november 17 2021 dooohhead as is with everyone i am sure i have been listening to music since i was a kid and that is a long time ago a lot of music for me conjures up long lost memories of days gone by i find it amazing that a song can be heard and a memory pops in to your head of a certain person of a memorable activity good or bad or a location or a situation as one who has participated in the use of all of the different mediums that have been used to distribute music over the years my favorite is still the lp vinyl records my copy of supertramp crime of the century had a permanent glitch in the song rudy that even to this day i still listen for but never hear vinyl records were great to listen to compared to the music of today when you put on a record you were there to listen to that side of the record not a single song but the whole thing and while you were listening you had an album cover and a record sleeve to look at and possibly follow along with the lyrics as the songs played you got immersed in to the music if you had some good headphones on you got totally lost in the music being played with only your younger sister interrupting to ask why the sky was blue lol i find it very difficult these days to replicate that all encompassing sensation 8 tracks were a curious medium that didn t really last all that long they were huge i remember my friend andrew in his first car had an 8 track player at the time it was amazing being able to take music with you on the road i also remember this huge wooden box he had in the trunk containing all of his 8 tracks lol cassette tapes were my second favorite medium i got to explore putting different songs together in a sort of stream the fun of it was digging through your vinyl records for that one right song to go next then recording it i still have a suite case full of my cassette mixtapes that we listened to in the car i remember always being at my friend dave s house sitting with him recording music he was a dj at the time and still is to had huge amounts of records everywhere and of everything if i wanted something different on a mixtape that was of music i didn t own i went to see dave and recorded it i used to spend all my money buying cassettes and only maxell s could do lol i think by the time cd s came around i was starting to feel disconnected to the music with the advent of mp3 s and being able to rip music from cd s on to your computer then making your own mix tape on a cd was fun at first but lost it lustre very quickly at least for me oh i did it creating my own cd labels with my printer but it was fun to do the actual work of creating them but it was less fun listening to them music to me then just became the background noise to all of the activities i then took in and is still like this for me now oh i still have gigabytes of mp3 music on my phone all songs that i like and have listened to many times over the years but i just never immerse myself in music anymore its difficult its hard to spare the time there s too many other activities that want to occupy my awareness my top 5 favourite albums supertramp crime of the century pink floyd dark side of the moon meat loaf bat out of hell rush 2112 queen a night at the opera my top movie albums heavy metal soundtrack the rocky horror picture show soundtrack reservoir dogs soundtrack the big chill soundtrack pulp fiction soundtrack here are some songs that illicite physical response in me in some form or another whether it be a chill up the spine or a memory of a person this song is one i don t listen to very often and isn t necessarily one of my favorites but whenever i hear it i get a cool chill up my spine dusty springfield son of a preacher man this song makes me want to bob weave and pretend to dance and the only artist i like to hear play this song is the commitments mustang sally this next song reminds me of a childhood puppy love breakup that to this day still reminds me of a girl loverboy turn me loose this song if i am in the car alone i will put on and is always my first choice when i decide to listen to the music i have on a thumb drive almost permanently connected to my car sheryl crow steve mcqueen i have to listen to it as loud as i can tolerate this song almost always brings a tear to my eyes thinking of my dad and has in a lot of ways shaped my life and how i want to be with my son the song is all about life and how busy it can be and about not having enough time for your father son i guess this affects me so much because i believe my father and i ended up like that i moved away and started my life only occasionally hearing from my dad and missing all of the times together i never wanted that for my son and up until recently i thought we were going to be different we were close we have done lots of things together like i did with my dad but now he has moved away to start his life even though with the technology of today i literally hear his voice or read his texts every day i miss him harry chapin cats in the cradle posted in at work leave a comment bravery october 28 2021 dooohhead i watched a small portion of this ted talk i will watch all of if later it has encouraged me to share how i agree with her sentiments shortly after we moved in to our current house i began to take advantage of its most prized features a neighbourhood where we could walk and swim and cycle i took my grand child lets call her hope to the playground it became clear to me that the way i wanted to be with my grand kids was one who did things with them that s the way i was with my kids grand kids deserve the same around the corner was a school yard with several playgrounds around it i used to take hope there there were slides and monkey bars and various other playground equipment i had to encourage her to climb up the different paths through the structure as there were some that seemed to challenge her safety as is described in that ted talk i was encouraging her to do it herself like a boy where i could i would show her but most of the time i was getting her to discover her own bravery to do something herself not depend on someone to do it for her and she did she never did acrobatics off the structure or anything like that but she became fearless over it this translated to a later endeavor that my son took her on wall climbing as was with the playground she was hesitant at first but once she remembered how she conquered the climber at the school she conquered the climbing wall and loved it as i see her grow into a young woman i still see in her that bit of fearlessness this by sheer copying translated well to her younger sister along with maybe my encouraging whatever hope did her sister had to do as well and i made sure they had the opportunities both girls did brave things together and individually swimming that they never did before climbing things like they never did before exploring doing being together having fun when my other grand child came around lets call her emily she was different but very much needing the same encouragements she never had the opportunities of playgrounds or having someone to do things with i took her to the playground at the school she too was afraid and needed some encouragements we bought her a bike and took her to the school yard i biked with her around and around that school yard for two hours before she finally collapsed out of shear exhaustion years before she had had a severe bicycling accident and had almost severed her tongue i encouraged her to not even think about her accident and showed her the possibilities of just doing it she did and has been amazing for it ever since as she grows in to a young teenager i see that she has taken my encouragements to a different level through the years i have tried to instill a at least try it first attitude before ever saying she can t or doesn t want to do something oh i have had to live that one often showing them that i would try something first before ever saying i don t want to i used this to introduce them to new or different foods to try different activities to even try different paths through whatever climbing structures we ever encountered the results i can already see in her are that she finds her own way she does things the way she wants to and is not afraid to try something new when she says she doesn t like a food or a sauce i know that it is because she has tried it and has determined herself that she doesn t like it you can almost see the independant thoughts happening with her that s what i like to see in every girl boy or grand child to learn self confidence to be brave to try something new that s the way my grand kids are brave posted in at work leave a comment ok paul i did the best i could yesterday october 17 2021 dooohhead i have one of those leaf blowers mulching machines that stopped working of course it s now fall and i want to use it again it has a three way power switch but it just stopped working i took it apart was a very simple easy device to dismantle wiring was pretty simple it had a circuit breaker of some kind the motor and the switch along with the power cord using my ohm meter i started checking the wires themselves from connection to connection all seemed good i then noticed there was some kind of diode between two of the three connections on the switch and one end had become disconnected the metal it was supposed to be connected to was pretty thick so it took a long time with several attempts to actually solder it correctly thinking that was the problem i put the cover on and tried it still didn t work so i kept looking around i noticed that one of the brushes of the motor had become disconnected i took it out and soldered the wire back to it it was a very basic design for a motor there was a spring that put pressure against the brush to the rotor of course when i tried to put the spring back into place it sprung backwards and broke i had to unravel one coil of the spring reshape it to fit back into the tiny slot then wind it up to provide tension and put it back in to place finally when i tried it it worked i immediately put it all back together and took it outside for a field test it worked but not well the tension of the spring on the brush was obviously compromised and this wasn t working well at all the motor would run for a bit then just stop i d bang my hand against the case and it would work again for a bit lessons learned it was fun and interesting to know i can do such things if i really have to obviously i am no electrical technician but i do have some electrical knowledge of motors and circuits based on what i have seen in my little world there are so many young people these days that don t have the basic knowledge of anything anymore the knowledge of putting on a new door handle for example cannot be taken for granted that everyone knows how to do it my fricken son in law can t even close a dresser drawer let alone repair one that feeling of accomplishment was needed i ve been out of work for well over a year mostly and have been feeling pretty low having accomplished nothing in that time except what has been necessary to maintain things around the house doing this made me feel good today i needed that that it was a complete waste of time because if i had just gone to home depot and bought a new one i d be finished what i wanted to accomplish now it s going to have to wait live and learn everything you do or don t do is a life lesson posted in at work leave a comment you know how august 26 2021 dooohhead you know how to do it you ve done it before you ve lost the weight almost 100lbs of it but then covid happened you lost the one job in your entire life that you actually liked and thought you did well at so what you stayed strong tried to persevere took a lesser job and completely failed at it became disillusioned by it all second guessed everything about you and your abilities accomplishments just one ice cream cone just one piece of cake just gained 5 lbs 10 lbs hey what happened to my pushups watching lots of new interesting tv shows movies staying up late late night snacks not sleeping long enough still waking up early can t function no ambition what to do you know how change one thing be forgiving to yourself what do you need better sleep go to bed everyday at the same time 10 used to fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion now just bored read a book john carter of mars new routine better sleep feel better still searching for next career job anything how to keep busy you know how charity bike ride can i do it will bike survive can i persevere need help stop second guessing yourself and just do it don t think about it too much don t give yourself the opportunity to procrastin...

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