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d her call my name kicked in they didn t come back the back cover shows a photo of lou reed with his right arm draped round sterling morrison the velvet i would have chosen to be other than dying at 50 of course and his left round mo tucker whose hideous right wing politics ohne standesbewusstein could make her a late in life poster girl for the economically inactive faragistes who want to make elswick great again in his right hand is a zippo lighter and in his left an open soft pack of full fat marlboro the same tabs peek out of the plaid shirt top pockets of both morrison and tucker at that point in my life i d never smoked a cigarette joints were a different matter of course as i saw the point of them but that one photo enticed me straight to marlboro country i was 17 having gone back to college to do my a levels after a shitty one year ytsas a store operative at dinning s wholesale electricals in gateshead the only money i had coming in was a 7 mornings and 5 evenings paper round at ralphie dixon s newsagent the pittance i was paid effectively less than the 26 50 i got on the yts once travel and board were discounted didn t provide me with enough dosh to keep myself in beer and records never mind tabs so i did what any reasonable person would have done in my position next morning i lifted a 200 carton of marlboro from the stock room and a couple of disposable lighters of course from such a standing start it took me a long time to learn how to inhale without spewing my guts up but i managed the knack by around christmas when i ran out of smokes i just helped myself to single packets from the shelves at ralphie s when the place was busy dixon was a moaning old shithouse with a big detached house up windy nook so it didn t trouble my conscience liberating him of a few packets here and there i had to be wise though never concentrate on one brand in particular so as to avoid suspicion if stocks ran low while marlboro were my tab of choice i also investigated dunhill rothmans b h as well as the more romantic seeming french and american brands like chesterfield lucky strike or gauloises on the rare occasions camel were on display i gorged myself on them though i regretted the accidental pocketing of a pack of non filters which had me talking like lee marvin for a few days the only brand i wouldn t touch were embassy as everyone from your granny to your boss to all the straights and radgies mods and skins soul boys and rude boys i d hated at school smoked regal or number 1s round our way and i wanted to stand out from the crowd hence also using a lighter from day 1 although i suppose the smell of matches has always made me want to throw up still does can t bear it once i left college and headed for leeds poly i had to ditch my job at ralphie s though i did take a final ceremonial sleeve of marlboro a nd one of gitanes for old time s sake on the day of my final shift never did question me about missing stock makes me regret not robbing the moaning old cunt blind after that i was on the old student grant like a giro it was green and got you pissed but it only arrived every 3 months in times of dire financial need i did what every impecunious sociology student did and turned to roll ups not run of the mill rubbish like golden virginia or old holborn but knock off dutch gear like drum or even gauloises bought in sturdy 50g plastic pouches in noisy pub back rooms or quiet corner shops all across the ls6 area i stuck with them for years mainly because they were cheap by the end i was down to about 5 a day on average with sundays and mondays being my non smoking days i had this vision of quitting when i turned 30 which i sort of managed to do despite lapses for the odd henry winterman slim panatella in fact i was almost smoke free until i found myself living in bratislava in september 1999 just turned 35 after life had thrown me one of those unpredictable curveballs you know how things are culture shock alienation you rely on your old mates beer and tabs about 25p a pint and ten bob for a box of smokes in the post velvet divorce days when you couldn t spend your wages as there was nothing to buy in the shops welcome back to marlboro country this time manufactured in kutná hora a town in the central bohemian region of the czech republic it has about 22 000 inhabitants their guidebook proudly tells you a factory for the production of tobacco products was founded in kutn á hora in 1812 and is located in the premises of the former cistercian monastery in sedlec in 1882 production of cigarettes began since 1992 the factory has been owned by philip morris čr a subsidiary of philip morris international in kutná hora the company employs more than 800 people mainly for the purpose of reducing my lungs to the size and colour of used tea bags honestly at that price it would have been rude not to and i was back up to a minimum 20 a day like a shot though i managed to calm it down after a while i moved back to england after a couple of years but still went back to bratislava for holidays following the abolition of duty free quotas and all that in those halcyon pre brexit days i was bringing home the stipulated 3 200 personal use allowance from my annual return trips to pals who d holed up in slovakia for good that was 160 packets or 16 sleeves for 80 100 enough for a whole year if i stuck to around 10 a day i knew the trans danubian economic stagnation and my respiratory system couldn t last forever the 2007 ban on smoking in pubs loomed large experts in smoking cessation always advised you to pick a day and stick to it so i did i smoked my last ever cigarette on saturday 30th june 2007 at around 11 30 at night then went cold turkey was it difficult christ it was tough i found i was dreaming about tabs and that my drinking in pubs immediately spiralled out of control as i had nothing to do with my hands instead of 4 pints on a quiet midweek night i was downing 6 in half the time and being escorted home before it got dark mental unsustainable after my birthday in august 2007 only 6 weeks after the ban i sacked off the drink until christmas basically to break the link between the two it worked as well from that moment onwards i have never touched a single tobacco product be it cigar cigarette roll up cigar or pipe nor have i been tempted to of course i went back to the beer partly because i love the taste but mainly because i love socialising being with people talking having a laugh sadly nicotine is back in my life ashamed though i am to say so vapes fucking vapes those stupid spangles flavoured kid s toys that the entire younger generation seems in thrall to for years i was utterly contemptuous of them mainly as anyone smoking them looks stupid but somehow i ve become weak and accepted the odd blast of one on a night out from whence a habit if not yet an addiction has spiralled and you know why they are curiously relaxing they calm me down empty my head of anger and anxiety ignore the ridiculous opal fruits taste and let that little hit of nicotine get to your brain it helps mellow me out and even though i refuse to get into debates about what are the best types and flavours with dullards in the shelters outside pubs i ve bought myself a load of unapproved disposable ones for fuck all they re in a small cardboard box in the spare room wardrobe and when they re gone they re gone uncategorized 0 comments february 25 2025 come to daddy i m honoured as ever to have this story included in the latest issue of spinners which i urge you to buy winter appalling rain sharpened wind confrontational cold flensing darkness a black blanket punctured by a thin strip light of yellow issuing from a waning gibbous moon half nine on a tuesday night in late january and there s no cunt about bar the west moor vigilantes fast friends who cemented their relationship over endless afternoons of fiscal failure in the bookies steve doyle fat cunt ex copper retired on health grounds cholesterol martin hogan bong eyed nonce pilfering postie whose access to an almost endless supply of readies was curtailed by lockdown and the attendant post cash economy rendering him puce faced with fury two self appointed securitate and the supposed moral guardians of the whole village and also the fields surrounding it every night shoehorned into doyle s dirty black kia sorento swaddled in their orange temu fleeces like a pair of fatsumas taking up strategic monitoring points at precise times in different locations engine idling at the roadside eyeballing anyone arriving unannounced on foot or by bicycle from benton forest hall or clousden hill show us your papers pricks pro bonum pricks last stop of the night before they hit spice world for their usual well earned large doner and fuck the vegetables with extra chilli sauce meatabix and mouthpaste supper parked up down the end of the clarty track leading from the football club to the allotments slow motion pan with their night vision binoculars on the static prowl for immoral behaviour or questionable conduct hogan s dog the wife he called her on a choke chain snarling at his owner s regatta walking boot clad feet ready to pounce on the louche and the lonely it s quiet tonight but when those weirdos held that impromptu solstice bonfire party down here before christmas there was hell on nobody had foreseen it over the fields and across the a19 footbridge from the direction of the racecourse and the old findus factory they came a couple of hundred longhairs wreathed in spliff smoke bearing kindling trays of beer and a sound system piercings tattoos laughter they worked stealthily in the gloaming until teatime nightfall had seen pax regis rent asunder by bass heavy thuds squeals of bacchanalian pleasure and the barely perceptible cracking of dry wood burning doyle and hogan caught off duty and off guard while dope guns and fucking in the street turned ne12 into sodom meets haight astbury beneath a cold christmas moon next day judith and kevin tindall out on their usual saturday morning stroll couldn t stand up after ingesting ravers faeces never again would west moor fall into the clutches of dreadlocked beatniks that s what les hommes bien soignés had promised an uninterested local populace so here we have it bleak paralysis and a sociopolitical standoff with no fucker and then olly henderson turns up with his dog carling not being cruel but olly s as close to being a born loser as makes no difference never grafted no mates house drinker wizened like an iron age skeleton in the same two bed flat he grew up in once his mam went the only lifestyle change he affected was shifting the vodka into the freezer as he d seen a documentary on dave about small modifications that let you have a bachelor pad in your 50s he named the dog after his peeve of necessity if not choice scrawny thing like its owner lived off budget brand pig entrails while olly was a food bank connoisseur sardines and pasta his signature dish again not of choice but of habit he didn t go out much except to take carling for a walk which basically meant hitting the one stop for bevvy and vape juice cans of dog food rest of the time he was channel surfing on the fire stick and scrolling on his phone limitless data the cure for all ills except add trouble was his phone was old and he kept dropping it when he was pissed put it to one side and tried to concentrate on the telly champions league psv against milan didn t know any of the players no idea what was at stake stream kept freezing rebooted it got no better screen turned to blue flung the fire stick remote at the wall smashed it olly getting agitated down to his last half dozen cans vodka all done still a score in the bank put carling on the lead and head out for more supplies plenty of time one stop shuts at ten get some steps in and eight for a fiver awful night wet with a raw wind that stung if you d just had a shave olly hadn t didn t bother with his appearance or apparel much freezing in an old adidas tracky top with a busted zip checked his pockets no shit bags for carling so skirted off the main drag and down past the football ground where turds are inconspicuous first team midweek training on the 4g doing well this season killingworth at home in the league cup semis in a fortnight might go along the path was brilliantly lit up but only for an instant and then plunged into darkness when the lights went off they d be off to the coach horses for a pint and some bait olly wished he could join them but no not possible scruffy half pissed poor with words and a dog in tow he didn t fit in focussed his eyes on the light of the moon clean and barren then double beams hit him doyle and rogan stepped out the car tangerine spacehoppers one with a menacing hound and the other with taser and baton chored from the poliss a secret leaving present from the lads at the lodge when doyle got his cards excuse me can you tell us what you re doing down here at this time of night what s it got to do with you eh we re on nighttime patrol to keep the peace in the neighbourhood stamping out anti social behaviour and challenging unknown undesirables with no reason for being here so if you d just turn around and go home we d be obliged mind your own business you pair of fat cunts it s not a fucking dictatorship just yet i m taking my dog for a walk and i m letting mine off the leash smirked hogan as his psycho bitch hellhound made straight for olly as the wife was about to knock the poor weeny sod into the middle of next week something changed craziness brought on by the nigh full moon canine pheromone phenomenology or simply carling s ability to avoid the alcoholic impotence that had bedevilled his owner since his late teens who can tell whatever within seconds the wife had gone all passive blinking doe eyes while carling strained up on his hind legs trying to achieve what they both needed doyle let his arms fall to his side limply holding the taser and baton while his groin grew exponentially stiffer hogan fat tears rolling down his fat cheeks from behind his fat lenses impotently kneaded the otiose choke chain as the beasts howled at the moon in pleasure once the dogs doings had reached a denouement the animals peeled off in separate directions hogan swung his chain at the wife in jealousy bellowing bad girl but failed to connect as a visibly aroused doyle struck down on hogan s forearm with the baton screams of pain replaced the howls of pleasure from moments earlier as olly bent to caress carling softly whispering come to daddy he cinched the lead and they struck out in the direction of one stop perhaps they could drop in to spice world for a bit of supper as well uncategorized 0 comments post navigation older posts search for archives march 2026 january 2026 december 2025 november 2025 october 2025 july 2025 may 2025 february 2025 january 2025 december 2024 november 2024 september 2024 august 2024 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