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Text of the page (random words):
neruda s poem emerging this morning then i read it again then i had it read to me then i read it one more time i ll probably read it again later today this is the beginning of the poem a man says yes without knowing how to decide even what the question is and is caught up and then is carried along and never again escapes from his own cocoon and that s how we are forever falling into the deep well of other beings and one thread wraps itself around our necks another entwines a foot and then it is impossible impossible to move except in the well nobody can rescue us from other people but this is just an excerpt if you d like to find the rest of this poem and i think you should i m aware of a few options you can locate a copy of neruda s book of poems extravagaria and read it there if you subscribe to the paris review you can read this poem on their website if you prefer someone read it to you you are in luck you can listen to the paris review s podcast episode 11 also on their website no subscription necessary at the 01 22 mark and hear this poem in its entirety alternatively if you can track down a copy of their spring 1974 issue you ll find this poem in print enjoy posted by denise at 12 19 pm 4 comments labels poetry thursday january 18 2018 blood orange upside down cake before you read my recipe you should know that i rarely follow recipes there are exceptions of course but typically i look at a bunch of recipes and either combine them or select one and make a bunch of changes most of my inspiration for this cake came from this baking the goods recipe found during a google search while trying to find an old recipe i d once made i never found the old recipe but i was still very pleased with this cake there are just so many things to consider with recipes there s what you happen to have in your pantry and in your refrigerator there are your personal preferences there are the kitchen tools you own and do not own there is the heat of your oven your elevation your mood and on and on and on it s kind of a miracle that recipes ever work at all so since some pals on instagram asked i m just going to tell you how i made this cake this afternoon i ll try and remember as many details as possible you ll have to consider all of the items in the paragraph above and make changes where applicable here we go blood orange upside down cake 2 tablespoons miyoko s vegan butter 1 4 cup brown sugar 3 small blood oranges 1 1 2 cups all purpose flour 3 4 cup instant polenta 1 1 2 teaspoons baking powder 1 2 teaspoon fine salt crushed seeds from 10 green cardamom pods 1 2 cup raw sugar one 5 3 ounce container of vanilla soy yogurt 1 2 cup olive oil enough to grease a cake pan 1 teaspoon almond extract 3 tablespoons flax meal zest from your 3 small blood oranges grease cake pan and set aside put 3 tablespoons of of flax meal 9 tablespoons of water in a small bowl whisk together with a fork and set aside melt 2 tablespoons butter and pour into bottom of cake pan sprinkle brown sugar evenly over melted butter in cake pan zest all 3 oranges and set zest aside thinly slice oranges leaving peel intact and gently place enough slices over the butter and brown sugar to cover the bottom of the cake pan slice off the peels of the remaining orange slices rough chop and fill in the open spaces around the slices in the cake pan set extra chopped orange pieces aside crack open cardamom pods remove seeds and crush seeds in mortar with pestle preheat oven to 350 degrees in a medium bowl whisk together flour polenta baking powder cardamom and salt set aside in a second medium bowl combine raw sugar yogurt and 1 2 cup olive oil and whisk together until combined and smooth take flax meal and water you set aside earlier and whisk with fork one more time it should have thickened by now add all of it to wet ingredients along with almond extract and whisk again until combined and smooth add orange zest and any remaining chopped orange pieces to wet ingredients and gently stir to distribute evenly fold dry ingredients into wet ingredients adding only 1 3 of dry ingredients at a time fold each addition gently only folding until all dry ingredients are wet gently and evenly spoon the batter over the orange slices in the cake pan and carefully smooth out the top it needn t be perfect the top of the cake will eventually be the bottom of the cake my cake baked in only 25 minutes but my oven runs pretty hot what you re looking for is a light golden brown cake into which you can insert a sharp knife or toothpick into the center and have it come out clean maybe check it for the first time at 20 or 25 minutes and then go from there keeping an eye on it and testing it at 5 minute intervals remove the cake from the oven once the knife toothpick comes out clean and let it rest in the cake pan for 15 minutes run a knife around the edge of the pan place a plate on top of the cake pan and hold the cake pan and plate together with a thick folded dishtowel pot holders oven mitts the cake pan is probably still hot and invert it quickly the cake should release onto the plate mine did let the cake cool for a bit on the plate i think i waited about 10 or 15 minutes before taking my first slice that s it enjoy posted by denise at 6 00 pm 2 comments labels culinary domestic monday december 18 2017 there are stars 2017 i don t like writing about art visual art or film or poetry or prose really yet i ve done all of the above and have learned of great works by others who have done the same still what i find on my own is always what i favor most much of the magic is in the finding and then watching the formerly unknown film or painting or poem or novel as it opens up to me i ll return to the best work again and again if i can find it but i wonder if my returns are less about the great works themselves and more about attempting to reclaim the magic that was in my initial moment of discovery and how my first experience with the work changed me but can these things be separated isn t it all intertwined the work the discovery of the work the way the work changes the viewer doesn t it all combine and add another layer to each person who sees the work part of me wants to tell everyone i know to get to the seventh floor of sfmoma before january 1st when the exhibition that holds the work i discovered friday stayed with for over an hour and then returned to with someone special on saturday for closer to two hours and share this experience with me but i hesitate i know my telling will subtract something from all the work can be and i even worry that the someone special i introduced to the work on saturday was unable to feel what i felt on friday when i walked into a particular room on the seventh floor of the museum without a single preconceived notion and felt myself begin to change there are stars exploding around you and there is nothing nothing you can do lyrics in this work i reference such as the above are drawn from parts of ásdís sif gunnarsdóttir s poem feminine ways posted by denise at 9 40 am 4 comments labels poetry stories thoughts thursday december 7 2017 joan didion on the rock imagining alcatraz 2017 i moved to san francisco seventeen years ago yet i ve never visited alcatraz i haven t had the desire with the exception of contemplating seeing ai weiwei s artwork there missing that exhibition was probably a mistake yes it was a mistake i meant to go but then kept thinking later later then it was gone but the idea of boarding a crowded ferry and being part of a large group of tourists shown around the island by a guide nope not appealing not at all i ve been thinking about joan didion lately she never leaves my mind for very long i decided to dip back into slouching towards bethlehem the first thing i turned to was her 1967 essay rock of ages the place she describes and its three inhabitants is enticing in a strange fairy tale sort of way in her first paragraph she begins to describe her attraction to this former prison it is not an unpleasant place to be out there on alcatraz with only the flowers and the wind and a bell buoy moaning and the tide surging through the golden gate but to like a place like that you have to want a moat and she continues in the next paragraph i sometimes do which is what i am talking about here later in the essay she explains how she tried dutifully to summon up some distaste some night terror of the doors locking and the boat pulling away and then she closes but the fact of it was that i liked it out there a ruin devoid of human vanities clean of human illusions an empty place reclaimed by the weather where a woman plays an organ to stop the wind s whining and an old man plays ball with a dog named duke i could tell you that i came back because i had promises to keep but maybe it was because nobody asked me to stay i finish reading and i m left wishing someone actually did ask her to stay and that i could somehow travel back to 1967 and find a way to become inhabitant number five at least for a little while slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion posted by denise at 3 07 pm 4 comments labels thoughts thursday november 9 2017 good bones light in the dark 2017 reading a poem like maggie smith s good bones presses hard it leaves a bruise but for me what also rises to the surface is a sense of feeling grounded walking on solid earth again such a relief after treading so lightly for so long hiding from what i feared or attempting to ignore it desperately concentrating all energy on the good the kind the beautiful but none of it ever really coming into focus always distorted by that greasy smudge of fear good bones just addresses it all puts the fear and sadness and everything else right out there makes us deal with it but note how smith ends the poem with the word beautiful terrible things are out there some of these things are within our control many are not beautiful things are out there too when i remember to acknowledge these conflicting truths fear loses some its power i can direct my energy and it is possible to clearly see what is good again this place could be beautiful right you could make this place beautiful excerpt from maggie smith s poem good bones posted by denise at 9 38 am 8 comments labels threepoemsthursday poetry thoughts monday september 18 2017 may sarton wisdom stinson summer 2017 i can tell you that solitude is not all exaltation inner peace where the soul breathes and work can be done solitude exposes the nerve raises up ghosts the past never at rest flows through it from may sarton s gestalt at sixty posted by denise at 11 41 am 8 comments wednesday july 12 2017 edward abbey desert solitaire ritual 2017 i ve always had a soft spot for individuals with a wild side on my feet again i explored the abandoned silver mines in the canyon walls found a few sticks of dynamite but no caps or fuses disappointing but there was nothing in that area anyway that required blowing up i climbed through the caves that led down to the foot of mooney falls 200 feet high what did i do there was nothing that had to be done i listened to the voices the many voices vague distant but astonishingly human of havasu creek i heard the doors creak open the doors creak shut of the old forgotten cabins where no one with tangible substance or the property of reflecting light ever entered ever returned i went native and dreamed away days on the shore of the pool under the waterfall wandered naked as adam under the cottonwoods inspecting my cactus gardens the days became wild strange ambiguous a sinister element pervaded the flow of time i lived narcotic hours in which like the taoist chuang tse i worried about butterflies and who was dreaming what there was a serpent a red racer living in the rocks of the spring where i filled my canteens he was always there slipping among the stones or pausing to mesmerize me with his suggestive tongue and cloudy haunted primeval eyes damn his eyes we got to know each other rather too well i think i agonized over the girls i had known and over those i hoped were yet to come i slipped by degrees into lunacy me and the moon and lost to a certain extent the power to distinguish between what was and what was not myself looking at my hand i would see a leaf trembling on a branch a green leaf i thought of debussy of keats and blake and andrew marvell i remembered tom o bedlam and all those lost and never remembered who would return to be lost again i went for walks i went for walks i went for walks and on one of these the last i took in havasu regained everything that seemed to be ebbing away edward abbey desert solitaire posted by denise at 9 28 am 2 comments thursday june 8 2017 it s called taproot space to breathe 2017 did you know there is a magazine out there without ads created for makers doers dreamers with sections titled head hands and heart yes it exists it s called taproot i m honored to have my writing in their latest issue grow in the heart section accompanied by a papercut illustration by the talented jennifer judd mcgee the people who pull this magazine together are the types who don t have a problem dedicating their first two pages as well as their last page to a peaceful floral print and this makes me happy we all need a little space to breathe thanks for doing what you do taproot issue 22 grow you can find more of my work in these earlier issues of taproot issue 6 water issue 3 retreat posted by denise at 8 01 pm 0 comments labels craft culinary domestic poetry stories thoughts friday june 2 2017 things i don t want to forget meadow trail may 2017 the young man with glasses and neat short pants who sat next to me in the cafe window and slowly drank his espresso and small glass of water without a sound his phone resting untouched on the counter before him seeing my mom s handwriting inside a small note card with a gold pineapple embossed on the front the taste of a warm foil wrapped burrito eaten in a meadow after a hike the afternoon there was a fleeting soft space between my apartment and the sandwich shop where bracing wind ceased sun shone and street sounds were muted the translucent green of the cresting wave i knew i couldn t capture with my phone the way i slice an apple the morning we sat at a picnic table and ate an entire loaf of brickmaiden s pain au gros sel salted potato as an impromptu breakfast the day all of the old men i saw in north beach had grandpa john s eyes posted by denise at 12 24 pm 12 comments labels culinary domestic stories thoughts travel thursday april 13 2017 fiddleheads lunch 2017 i ve seen young furled ferns while hiking and i have always admired their beauty but never had any idea if they were edible i did know some people ate a fern called fiddlehead so when i always interested in experimenting with a new fruit or vegetable saw them at the farmers market i snatched them up immediately and took them home once i got home things became a bit more complicated i tried to do some researc...
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