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nd often mesh mentally and emotionally instead of being two individuals in a relationship and so trying to unpick a relationship like that takes a lot of time and effort and often a complete break away from each other my problem with yvette s chapter is she doesn t deal with the type of gay woman i am sexually driven because i cannot despite all my efforts of trying get on with women emotionally to me most women are boring unintelligent a waste of my time i ve tried to be friends with women i ve tried to hang out at social events with women i simply do not like the experience i have very little in common with most women different hobbies and interests and i don t do feelings i do facts gossip is huge among women two women meet for coffee in a coffee shop and 99 these women are ripping another woman to shreds behind her back i am disgusted by this behaviour and the endemic bullying in the workplace that is almost entirely committed by women i am disgusted women also get annoyed and offended easily because i don t give them the emotional support that they think they deserve from me the very first time they meet me at a social event and they get pissy and spread rumours about me i know i am not perfect but seriously hanging out with men is so easy and doesn t drain me at all men want to talk about anything that makes them laugh and think and laugh they don t want anything from me except a couple of jokes and an interesting fact about prince albert i hang out with men i m done with trying to be friends with women i certainly do not want to be in a relationship with a woman there are several women most of whom are gay in my workplace who are amazing workers and they have skills i do not so i ask their advice and i hold them in high regard however this is in work not in a social context i would never want to spend any time outside of work with most men or women i work with due to a difference of hobbies and interests and that s fine but i can admire the skills some women in my workplace have and ask their advice and help another thing i do not like about yvette s chapter is her anti women anti scripture take on what a woman and womanhood should be although she then contradicts herself by quoting proverbs 31 which is king solomon s ideal woman the ideal woman according to the wisest king who ever lived is she works hard to provide for her family she is highly respected by everyone in the town she makes sound business decisions she wears amazing clothes yet is respected for the person she is not what she looks like yvette on the other hand thinks that all christian women should grow their hair long wear make up wear dresses and skirts and become a stepford wife but she contradicts herself by quoting proverbs 31 yvette thinks all gay women are like she is whereas alan chambers thinks he is an individual and while there are patterns among gay men and gay women that we all have unique stories and we are not all the same in our personal histories in how we are wired up and how we move forward however since most gay women have a serious issue with emotional dependency and emotional dependency absolutely ruins gay women s lives i am glad that a gay woman who has such an insight into emotional dependency as yvette has written a chapter on the serious matter towards the end of the book chambers talks about the pressure that the modern world puts on lgbt people to say we are lgbt and that non christian lgbt people often feel betrayed when a friend becomes a christian and decides to change how they live their life all in all i find alan chambers book to be positive upbeat hopeful and full of scripture the quotes of scripture on most pages of chambers chapters are one thing that really stood out to me since i want all of my life to be based on scripture one issue i take with chambers and many christians who are same sex attracted is they talk about struggling that they struggle that being gay is a struggle while it is true that being lgbt is a struggle despite all the equality laws we are people who have very high levels of mental illness physical illness drug and alcohol addiction and other related problems this is because we are people with high levels of having survived serious child abuse so while i accept struggle to be a word to say we re not ok and need health professionals therapy rehab and more i do not for myself accept the word struggle to mean my sexual orientation i m gay i m bisexual just like i have dark hair i have curly hair for me my orientation is not a big deal i spoke to my husband about this yesterday that my gayness has enhanced our marriage not threatened it in any way my husband and i got to know each other through the gym and boxing class i know not every woman who boxes is gay but most of us are and we have similar outlooks hobbies and interests my husband has said many times that he is glad that he is with a woman who doesn t scream at him for looking at other women his first wife who died after a long illness was quite insecure about other women and would shout at my her our husband if he looked at another woman with me that doesn t happen because i saw her first as i often say no i am not promoting lust cheating adultery threesomes or anything nasty like that i simply acknowledge my biology i think it is healthier for a couple to agree that other people are good looking rather than try to bury the feelings and cause a problem emotionally or with trust i know other couples have been fine with both saying he s good looking or she s hot and some couples are not ok with this because they see it as encouraging lust everyone is different every married couple is different what works for me and mine might not work for you and yours i m wired up in the same way my husband is when it comes to women we don t look twice we don t invite anyone back to ours we simply acknowledge that we both find a certain woman in the street attractive and we move on with our conversation we don t give it another moment s thought we forget about it straight away it works for us we also don t go out with the intention of looking at hot women our approach might not work for you and that is for you and your spouse to figure out when i was younger yes wanting to have sex with any consenting female of my age group was a serious issue for me i have high levels of testosterone so my life from the age of 6 28 was raging hormones absolute raging i prayed about it i prayed that god would help my sex drive to calm down and he did for me having a high sex drive drove me to prayer it could have driven me to sex addiction but it drove me to prayer i made that choice at a young age i went to an amazing christian union at university and i am so thankful for the guys i was friends with there some of whom have now accepted same sex relationships as being ok with god but back then those guys were all in the same boat as me testosterone raging hot women all around us and our sex drives drove us to prayer we were all honest about it and we had a healthy way of talking about it without being graphic and unhelpful to each other later i went to a great organisation for lgbt christians who follow the bible s teachings and a couple of the guys were former sex addicts as the gay scene for men promotes i no longer think that that organisation is fit for purpose since it opened its doors to accommodate people attracted to children including people who had done jail time for offending against children and many women were clearly there trying to find a girlfriend including married women for several years that organisation was amazing it had collected a lot of data on lgbt issues of all kinds and it was run by sound lgbt and heterosexual christians who lived for jesus things changed and i was one of the last of the bible living honest people to leave i hung on for a while when i should have left i was quite upset by the damage that i saw liars lots of lying women using the organisation as a hunting ground for girlfriends and others with malevolent intent were doing that was slowly destroying the organisation i had once loved and thought of as home one of the mansions we used to go to for our weekends away where we would get more bible teaching worship jesus and hang out with our friends is the inspiration for the mansion base in my latest trilogy like my leading character tesla i loved the mansion and the staff came to accept me as i am along with several others i would play in the laundry chute which is the inspiration for two scenes in the trilogy crawling through the steel rectangular laundry chute all through the interior of the walls of the listed building falling down the chute to be spat out in the corridor close to the kitchen a load of 30 year olds doing this is a pretty amazing way to pass an hour as i have said alan chambers book leaving homosexuality is a positive and upbeat book it does not give easy quick fix answers and it is not about no longer being lgbt it is about being presented with choices as lgbt people we are told we are born lgbt we are not all the data shows we are lgbt due to childhood trauma or trauma later in life such as domestic violence or rape as lgbt we are told we have to live a certain way think certain things dress in certain clothes like certain music have certain opinions and beliefs we don t we have choices even if we were all born homosexual and we remained homosexual we would still have choices we could still choose to follow christ and live freely in him if the son sets you free you will be free indeed john 8 36 alan chambers book is about choices we are presented with choices that the lgbt media and campaign groups never choose to present to us choices about therapy healing from childhood trauma putting god above ourselves and the possibility of life long love that almost never happens in same sex relationships we are given choices it is also not about leaving being lgbt behind it is about moving forward as lgbt people and for many that will include opposite sex marriage the book is more about being gay or bisexual in an opposite sex marriage than leaving being lgbt behind the most important point the book has to make is to live freely in christ whatever your sexual orientation i am glad i read this book it is so positive and rooted in scripture and i am glad that my bestie is reading it posted in uncategorized tagged addiction bible bisexual changes choices christian christianity church faith fidelity gay god growing holiness holy jesus lesbian love scripture therapy trans leave a comment never let me go inspired blood posted on may 23 2026 by catherinehume tesla is the narrator of blood and she has been brainwashed since she was 7 years old she runs away with her boyfriend blix and she remembers her childhood she remembers dr luke and her higher purpose which is to kill herself blood was blood before i saw the film and read the novel never let me go by kazuo ishiguro i had brunel tesla khayyam and farabi and their adventures in my head long before i discovered kath tommy and ruth yet i can t help but notice similarities never let me go was a story about children bred to be organ donors who went to a boarding school and were looked after by several teachers and were conditioned by their teachers to accept their fate they never ran away because as ishiguro says many people do just accept their fate people from all sorts of different backgrounds in all sorts of situations just accept their situation and choose to do nothing about it tesla and her brothers are biological weapons whose lives are mapped out by the people who own them and who raised them the plans change for some reason that tesla does not know and she and her brothers are taught to be assassins be the gift that keeps giving being more lucrative alive than dead telsa worries about her gcse grades she always wants to learn and understand things she is a perfectionist dr luke always wants tesla to understand the world including the books that tesla is given at the black women s centre in brixton her home from home her treat when she has murdered people or feels empty inside dr luke loves brunel tesla khayyam and farabi he does actually love them but he is a limited individual and his love is not pure he has looked after the four since they were small children overseeing the experiments conducted on them as well as playing board games with them giving them treats such as horse riding lessons and sharing his passion for knowledge with them he has a unique relationship with each of the four children as they grow up he trusts brunel to take on a more responsible role and design a new future for the family he spends time with tesla talking about things she is interested in he takes khayyam out on walks including to meet dr henderson and he has quiet 1 1s with farabi when farabi becomes ill dr luke loves the children he just does not know how to be a good parent dr luke is torn between his work as a scientist creating biological weapons and his love for the children jimmy the head security guard at the mansion in which the children are raised also loves the children but he too is limited and does not know how to love properly he has no wife nor children of his own he is upset with tesla shouting at her raising his fist to her he knows something tesla does not know she has been sold jimmy does not know how to react to losing tesla knowing that she will soon be told to kill herself so he shouts and threatens violence both never let me go and blood dip into the past and then come back to the present day blood goes back into tesla s childhood and then to her romance with blix excerpt from blood i concentrated hard i could hear crying in the gym we ran to the gym door brunel waved farabi and me back and he peered through the glass panel before he pushed open the door khayyam was in a heap on the floor his brown thobe black jogging bottoms and trainers covered in mud he was crying and snarling to himself in arabic brunel ventured forward khay khayyam s head snapped up leave me the fuck alone khay brunel edged closer and sat down on the floor remember we are on khayyam reached stood up and threw a dumbbell at the cctv camera and flopped back down again brunel looked up to check the damage we re not on camera he turned back to khayyam khay tell me what s going on i felt farabi s hand take hold of mine and he pulled me to stand behind him i looked around at the medicine balls benches and weights that khayyam had thrown around in his rage i went to pick up a bench and turn it the right way up but farabi pulled my hand again and shook his head brunel reached a hand out to khayyam what s going on khay nothing khayyam wiped his face with his sleeve he got up and started pacing and punching the wall flecks of green gas peppered the air around him brunel got to his feet four guards arrived behind farabi and me farabi turned around to face them we will deal with this andrews drew...
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