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ransient lives yo yo ma absence and practicality november 15 2009 leave a comment hello all or one or whoever might happen to read this first of all my apologies for my lack of updates recently i suppose it is not very professional to leave one s blog un updated for so long and i enjoy writing it gives me a release valve for all the built up pressure of words and thoughts and ideas that accumulate in my brain over the course of the day or in this case weeks but as with so many things i enjoy it still requires practice and practice requires a certain amount of discipline i would consider myself a person of grand ideas but with sometimes unrealistic expectations or patience for such ideas ultimately i have a persevering personality so good and even great things do get done but they do not always happen when i want them to nor do they always attain the level of achievement i desire for the past few weeks i have had auditions callbacks classwork and other personal goings on that have distracted me from this blog but fortunately they have also distracted me from myself instead of constantly raking my mind for new grand schemes that are inevitably overambitious i have become preoccupied with the demands of the current moment because the current moment has required it in others words i ve finally had a dose of practicality thank god that really is what the last couple of weeks have taught me simple practicality as one of my acting professors told me on friday during a class improv just work on the simple stuff you can break the rules once you ve learned the simple stuff so if i m worried that i m not extending myself enough knowing me i m probably overextending less is more quality not quantity find something to do and do it well practicality this is a good thing for me to learn posted in a little bit of background life experience tags absence acting blog break the rules discipline less is more overextending practicality practice pressure quality not quantity release valve simple stuff un updated unrealistic expectations work on the simple stuff writing bring honesty to the stage october 27 2009 leave a comment i ve been thinking a great deal lately about honesty and what it means in acting and life sadly i don t think we live in a culture that values honesty as much as we should but i believe that many people still greatly appreciate honesty when it is shared with them but in acting honesty is not merely an act of kindness or respect it is essential you must be honest with your audience and you must be honest with yourself this might be confusing since the nature of theatre is often compared to a lie what is happening on stage is not really real actors are portraying characters but i don t always like to consider theatre a lie i like to consider it a different representation of the truth even an autobiography contains some altered or fictional elements that have been adjusted or rephrased for the integrity of the entire message a play should be performed with honesty if it is to share the integrity of its message with the audience the performers must believe in their characters if the audience is to believe in them i think the process of acting would be easier if actors placed greater emphasis on portraying characters and situations with honesty at the same time i don t mean obsessive realism film can be a medium for obsessive realism but it is rarely manageable on the stage by its very nature the stage is an unrealistic convention for sharing moments of significance with an audience instead of bringing honesty to the stage through ulta realism bring honesty to the stage through authenticity to play hamlet for example it is not necessary nor advisable to work yourself into a suicidal state but neither is it good to demean the character to a stereotype to a shakespearean cliche from centuries past to paraphrase noted film and stage actor anthony zerbe you must take a step towards the character on the page and let hamlet take a step from the page towards you you are not hamlet hamlet is not you but if you meet each other in the middle you can find a little of each other and share something with an audience that maybe no one has ever seen before and that authenticity is compelling it is honest and that is an undeniably satisfying quality to see portrayed on stage posted in life experience musing of the moment tags acting actor anthony zerbe authenticity bring honesty to the stage demean the character hamlet honesty process of acting shakespearean theatre ultra realism theatre the great provoker october 24 2009 leave a comment i recently saw a professional production of david mamet s oleanna at a regional theatre near my university i ve read both glengarry glen ross and american buffalo but this was my first exposure to mamet on the stage and it was moving perhaps i shouldn t say moving because if anything the play stopped me dead in my tracks and it made me angry the subtitle for the play is appropriately a power play and it was just that a constant shifting of energy between just two characters for 90 minutes with an inevitable explosion of frustration between them overwhelming the audience with a catharsis of violence and anger it was not traditional mamet at least not from what i have read minimal strong language vulgarities or obscenity there was just a simmering brooding resentment that seemed to be building in the characters for the entire duration of the play and it often seemed within the audience as well apparently the original broadway production suffered brawling fistfights between audience members in the lobby after the premiere how can a play a work of fiction do this to us i ve known for a long time that the theatre can be a place of extreme provocation just look at brecht or augusto boal s theatre of the oppressed or arthur miller s the crucible it even goes back to the plays of shakespeare s contemporaries and some of the satyr plays of the greeks as long as there has been a need for censorship in the theatre there has been provocation but at the same time i ve probably more commonly associated theatre with a place of entertainment maybe even enlightenment provocation i feel can be both just look at mel brook s the producers springtime for hitler and germany brooks manages to accomplish much of his humor through almost but not quite deeply offending his audiences but then is that really provocation i think my 21st century western notions of theatre can be very comfortable at times if its a comedy it s funny if it s a drama it s moving whatever that means to roughly paraphrase something i heard anne bogart say it is not the theatre that moves me that i find so interesting as the theatre that holds me motionless that takes my breath away oleanna took my breath away because it provoked me it made me angry alright so i didn t get in a fist fight in the lobby afterwards but i was deeply concerned about the implications of what i had just seen because i could see truth in it perhaps this is why a play like oleanna is more than just an edgy comedy or an enlightened drama it takes us past a comedic edgy into a realistic edgy and instead of patting us over the head with a neat little moral precept or enlightened solution it throws deeply distressing problems in our face and then withholds any satisfactory answers to our questions oleanna stopped me in my tracks despite the play being nearly 20 years old because i could see the relevance of the problems it was exposing and instead of trying to offer a solution to the problem which i don t necessarily think is the job of a playwright mamet frustrates us to the point of emotional anguish to the point of an explosion and then perhaps we realize the irony we are not so different from the characters on that stage and unlike them we are real posted in a day out of the ordinary musing of the moment tags a power play a work of fiction anne bogart brecht brooding resentment censorship david mamet enlightenment entertainment extreme provocation oleanna original broadway production provocation provoke theatre theatre of the oppressed western notions of theatre take care of yourself october 17 2009 leave a comment this advice is just as much for me as for anyone else who happens to read this as humans we have almost always lived in some state of danger or uncertainty living in a country like the united states in the 21st century however it is easy to forget just how dangerous the world can be with cell phones the internet medical technology transportation abundant food and a huge amount of instantaneous satisfaction it can be very easy for me to forget just how quickly all of this can be taken away i am not invincible even though sometimes i would like to think i am accidents can happen mistakes can occur i am blessed with a tremendous amount of control over my life and my future but even then money and privilege can not but certainty i do not know that i will wake up tomorrow for certain i do not know that my dorm room might burn down for certain i do not know that my friends or family might be killed in a car accident for certain these are terrible things to think about which is why i think death is such a taboo topic in our culture it makes us feel uncomfortable but i think it is far better to acknowledge these possibilities rather than live in denial i m not saying be morbid i m simply saying that we shouldn t take our lives for granted recently i have been taking my life for granted i have been taking the opportunities given to me for granted i would even go so far as to say i have been squandering them despite my privilege and opportunity i have not taken care of myself or the blessings i have in this life staying up late very late with no real reason other than i do not want to sleep i think i am too good for sleep as a reaction against my narcolepsy with the help of my new medication i think part of me thought i was invincible that sleep was no longer that important it was a big mistake by staying up late by increasing my sleep debt to an inordinate amount i literally made myself sick at first i thought it was just seasonal allergies but i ve realized over the past few weeks this is a yo yo effect if i get a decent amount of sleep for a night i feel alright the next day but since my sleep is never consistent the sickness soon comes back i had terrible chronic headaches a bad cough and painful sinuses my muscles felt weak and stiff and i was feeling cold shivers it was getting to the point where i was even starting to feel dizzy when i got up almost falling over if i exerted myself too much and this was entirely my own fault yes i could easily blame seasonal allergies the flu season the demands of college but deep down inside i know that i am the instigator of the suffering with which i am now contending i have taken life for granted to the extent that i am causing myself harm nothing outside of me has done this so i must take responsibility this is perhaps a sobering entry maybe more so for me as i type it than for those few who i know read it but i am glad i am saying it because it is encouraging me to be accountable and my life is improving i have been insisting i go to bed at a sensible time and after several nights of good sleep the improvement in my overall health is very apparent the key is to make such behavior a conscious habit just like any form of actor training it must become a part of my daily ritual the same as brushing my teeth or doing my stretches my advice to all please take care of yourself no one else can do this for you and no one else can help you recover until you take the initiative yourself whether you are an artist or not you will reap the benefits of good health through this behavior which will also help you tackle the challenges outside of yourself over which you may have little or no control take care of yourself posted in life experience tags accidents advice cell phone certainty challenges outside of yourself danger death death is a taboo topic huge amount of instantaneous satisfaction inordinate amount instantaneous satisfaction instigator of the suffering internet invincible medical technology reap the benefits of good health sickness sleep debt squandering taboo taboo topic tackle the challenges take care of yourself take the initiative taking my life for granted taking opportunities for granted topic uncertainty yo yo effect you are not invincible a life led by fear will lose the chance to love october 13 2009 leave a comment once upon a time a boy and his father went walking in the woods the boy loved this he loved the woods and he loved spending time with his father they would walk for hours hand in hand amidst the trees crossing bridges over bubbling brooks sometimes looking up to see the sun peering cheerfully through the thick forest s hair one day the boy and his father were enjoying one of their walks through the woods but the cheerful sun had disappeared and quickly been replaced by glowering rain clouds and the the flash of untamed electricity the boy was scared and began to cry out in terror but the father quickly took him in his arms and ran through the woods faster than the boy thought possible under the shelter of a cave they sought refuge while the storm thundered overhead the boy clung to his father who comforted him greatly but the fear still gripped his young body father yes my son will you always be here for me the father smiled with warm certainty my son he said i will always be with you even when i am no longer able to hold you in my arms storms will come and fear will swell up in you but if you remember love you will never be without me one day you will be able to give that love to another the boy did not completely understand his father but a feeling of complete reassurance wrapped itself firmly around him he was comforted and his fear began to fade suddenly as if the sun s familiar glow had never left the heavens rays of light shone through the once cloudy sky now replaced with a tapestry of celestial blue the boy and his father emerged back into the world hand in hand once more fear no longer divided the boy from the life he was learning to love and as the father grasped his tiny palm he began to realize his potential for compassion posted in a story tags a life led by fear will lose the chance to love boy and father comforted compassion father fear led by fear lose the chance to love love once upon a time parable potential reassurance refuge son story untamed electricity walk in the woods warm certainty previous entries introduction about me what is asperger s syndrome what is the 4th wall archives april 2015 2 december 2009 1 november 2009 3 october 2009 8 september 2009 11 august 2009 9 calendar july 2026 s m t w t f s 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 apr blog at wordpress com breaking the 4th wall blog at wordpress com subscribe 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