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not looking at this as an option as much as possible 13 freedom fund girls expenses i didn t have this category at all for a while but i need to be better prepared to help them when they need it 14 girls expenses ireland england trip my parents my sister her husband and riley and i are going to visit sylvia and also visit ireland i can t believe my dad still hasn t been there considering he s a proud irishman and has traveled a lot plane tickets are paid for but still need to pay the other half of the airbnbs 15 amazon prime membership moved to monthly annual expenses kona parking maintenance charging etc 16 c ar purchase car is paid off yay cell phone service i will need a new phone 17 cell phones monthly gas co it s not just for cooking but for heating because i m a socal girl that gets cold at 75 degrees 18 savings goal car registration 19 major purchases given that i replaced my garage door refrigerator and dishwasher this year really hoping i don t need anything major this year car insurance 20 student loa n paid off gifts bdays xmas all the gifts 21 fiat monthly donations to laist broadwayradio apm and i ll probably break down and buy npr soon 22 gas co taxes i m really only paying the accountant i don t usually owe or get back much so just where it should be 23 charity i donate to the non profits for which i have a personal connection 24 april fun covered by the monthly spending fund above let s just bundle all other monthly annual subscriptions here 25 fiat kona monthly parking maintenance charging fees doesn t get used on a regular basis but letting it accrue 26 medical mayhem 27 new cell phones sg lumped into major expenses category 28 home office supplies lumped into monthly spending fund 29 graduation sylvia clothing shoes etc i m trying to buy most second hand but sometimes new is the way to go 30 car registration moved up 31 camry monthly 32 car maintenance covered by the monthly kona costs above 33 car insurance moved up 32 xmas moved up 33 birthdays moved up 34 adobe canceled 34 gifts other moved up 35 aaa membership covered in subscriptions above 36 turbotax paying professional instead 37 mayhem moved up 38 vacation moved up 39 clothing moved up 40 charity moved up 41 seed money to eventually start non profit right now not part of the monthly budget but putting it into values budget to keep it on my radar i went a while without thinking of price so much and just buying things truth be told i still do that when it comes to theatre events that i want to see but it s time to get back to continued vigilance i m also implementing a no shopping online rule for the month of january i m still trying to decide if that applies to groceries because i tend to impulse shop irl more than online so okay groceries i can still do online i still sometimes do the add to cart thing just to scratch that itch but then i close the tab before i can purchase and i have learned this year that even cats need surgery sometimes very expensive surgery i love my dog very much it shows in how much i spend on him on a regular basis adding pets back into my life has been incredibly rewarding animals make all the difference there s also the nagging possibility that i might not survive the next round of layoffs this only works with my current salary but i m also not going to live like i m about to lose my job if i have to i ll figure it out but i m still going to see my daughter in england i m still going to see shows i can afford to live the life i want now and that s what i m going to do posted by april at 11 22 am 0 comments thursday may 4 2023 turning 50 i remember when that seemed like a large number 50 i remember believing what capitalism shoved down my throat the height of life s bell curve happens somewhere around 15 35 the rest is inconsequential of course that s not true i thought at 50 i d know things that i d be wise what i know is that there s so much i don t know and so much i ll never know i thought at 50 i d look old i m not going to pretend that i haven t aged but there s not as many wrinkles as i imagined i would have at 50 i hoped i would be happy and i am i feel like i m just starting to reach the peak in the last 50 years i ve figured out a lot of things that i don t want my life to be mostly by making mistakes now i m learning what truly brings me joy and peace i ve learned how to take care of myself not stupid bubble bath self care although there s nothing wrong with a bubble bath but the self care where you recognize what s making you happy or unhappy and you do something about it i ve stopped suffering through things that i don t have to i ve stopped living life like the good student vying for praise and respect i am loved and respected by people i love and respect i m not going to try to change myself for someone to like me i m okay if you don t there are plenty of people i don t like i m not talking about trying to hurt anyone or vice versa but i don t need to be loved and respected by everyone i ve learned how to let things go it does me no good to seethe in anger or feel bad about myself you don t earn points by self sacrifice not just in the big ways but in the little ways too i now have a drink every time i m on a plane just one to let myself just be while the pilots and flight attendants take care of me and the rest of the passengers i go to the theatre by myself a lot and i love it i don t have to worry about what others think of it try to schedule it blah blah blah and i also go with friends and family i spent my 50th birthday with my girls seeing six on broadway i took a cruise by myself and loved it i go to restaurants by myself and enjoy it i love to people watch and make up stories in my head about who they are and what kind of conversations or thoughts they re having it s like when i was a kid and i would play with barbies and make up their stories i know there are definitely issues with barbies but i cared most about the make believe of it all i also have done a lot of things in my life that i m proud of that i overcame that i endured and that i loved there is enough life back there for me to see that this is not the beginning of course i don t know how much is ahead of me if i ll be able to maintain my health my happiness so i m going to love my life now at 50 posted by april at 9 14 pm 0 comments monday december 5 2022 capitalism series part 2 the short sightedness of quarterly reports while i would never put the white hat completely on corporations i think many of their problems are caused or made worse by the quarterly reports ceos department heads sometimes an entire company s future is on the line because of what wall street thinks of a quarterly report even the shareholders are subject to the whims of wall street it comes down to a few people who punish or reward companies for meeting or failing to meet their expectations somehow wondering whether wall street got it right or wrong is never the question i hold stocks too in my 401k and in a personal account but i generally invest in index funds less weighted by one or even a few select companies i can appreciate the shareholders need to know but why so often wouldn t twice a year be plenty companies are held to this impossible standard of beating expectations every quarter there might be one apple that has managed to do this but i think every other company has seen its share of ups and downs and even apple had its down days way back when very few are willing to dive deeper than whether profits are up or down never mind if the company bought some badly needed equipment that increased their expenses but decreased human injuries human injuries aren t included in quarterly reports even when a company has an outstanding report the very next day the question becomes how will we fare next quarter which doesn t help a company think about long term planning doesn t allow time for r d doesn t even reward companies when they recall products to keep everyone safe despite another bad ruling by the supreme court corporations are not themselves people but they are indeed comprised of people most people didn t start their first day thinking that they d hate the job they go in with all kinds of enthusiasm hoping to feel valued but work enough days in a corporation everyone comes to realize that the corporation prioritizes their quarterly reports above all else of course people want to quiet quit or quit altogether just because an abused spouse stays doesn t mean they enjoy it they just don t see a way out i wonder what would happen if the quarterly report did include injuries retention percentages customer complaints i wonder what would happen if ceos got their bonuses docked for injuries complaints lack of retention i m starting to shop more b corporations which is a designation for companies that are committed to benefit all stakeholders not just shareholders it s a step in the right direction and if more companies got on board it might just change the world posted by april at 12 00 am 0 comments labels capitalism series thursday december 1 2022 capitalism series part 1 unions i find the easiest way to contemplate the bigger problems is always to follow the money we ve all heard that money and power corrupt and while of course that s not true of everyone i m becoming more and more convinced that the greed for money and power is the root of most of the bigger problems one of the things i always go back to is a line from michael douglas speech at the end of aaron sorkin s the american president regarding some politicians interests making you afraid of it and telling you who s to blame for it using that tactic has allowed them to continue to profit either financially or politically most likely both off of fear and anger unions are once again in the news starbucks uc grad students the railway workers etc i ve said it before unions are the area in which i stray most from the democratic party and the progressives here are a few reasons why lack of accountability for union leaders i first wrote about this during the grocery store worker strike of the early aughts the workers had been paying into a union fund to subsidize health care costs but the union leaders ended up spending that money elsewhere leaving the workers with no support when health insurance costs continued to rise the workers had to strike during the holidays as i recall and live off even less in order to make up for the union leadership s bad acts while i understand that the leadership is elected by their members many members have enough information to vote in their own best interest lack of accountability for workers poor performance it was very clear to me that in sylvia s middle school they placed all their best teachers in the eighth grade and all their worst teachers that they couldn t fire in the sixth grade that did not get her off to the best start in middle school of course i don t believe that teachers should be fired for saying gay or encouraging critical thinking but i also know that there are some that are simply not good at their job and the effects on their students is too severe to keep them in that position unions create more hierarchy in my acting days there were a lot of auditions that were union only but of course the only way to get a union card at that time was to get a union gig but how would you get that without the opportunity to audition it was a catch 22 that created a those who have and those who haven t to divide the acting community i know some employees that have to belong to a union but that union isn t supporting them see first bullet above and there are also millions of workers in jobs that aren t covered by a union and therefore do not get some protections that others enjoy it s pitting workers against workers divides instead of unites if we want to protect the labor force then we should protect the entire labor force all workers should have a modicum of control over their schedules everyone should get some paid sick time the problem with unionizing one starbucks at a time is the that the baristas at peet s are not protected it might help some but not all workers get a fair deal making them wholly unfair corporations do not change their stripes some corporations end up using independent contractors or close down stores to avoid unions lyft managed to get a proposition passed in california excluding them from ca s attempt at stopping the former or they use the increased wages at the bottom as an excuse to raise prices and yet somehow the c suite can always afford bonuses and raises unions were a critical step in creating some of the federal laws that we have today to protect labor like criminalizing child labor and mandating work breaks but let s think about where we were at that time we didn t have the internet or the ability to spread the word beyond our own communities keeping it local was the only way workers stood a chance but times have indeed changed why are we limiting ourselves to one starbucks one industry or even one country don t all workers everywhere deserve protection why are we continuing to be so small minded about how to change the world we re not thinking big enough posted by april at 12 00 am 0 comments labels capitalism series friday june 24 2022 my abortion saved me and my girls i woke up the morning after what i d thought was a really productive conversation with x he acknowledged the mistakes he d made vowed to do better and we were going to try and put our family back together again i went to the place where d i d hid the grocery money x had already emptied my bank account so i d resorted to hiding cash around the house to cover child care groceries and other expenses this time i d put it in a shoe but there was no money in there after our so called productive conversation x had found it and spent it on drugs and or alcohol don t know and at that moment i no longer cared after years two daughters and one miscarriage a wedding several moves in a total of 4 states i d simply fallen out of love with x i d even warned him a few weeks prior that i thought this could happen my love had been the only thing holding us together and now it was gone i don t remember the exact timeline here but it wasn t long after that when i discovered i was pregnant my girls were about 2 1 2 and 5 1 2 at the time i already knew i was going to leave x and i couldn t imagine trying to explain divorce and adoption at the same time i had no idea how i was going to manage i was living across the country from my family at the time working in the field i loved but with a boss who threw a chair at an employee and would yell at us during staff meetings now i m fully aware that i played a role in this that i had responsibilities the responsible thing to do was not bring another human into the chaos that was our lives at that moment thankfully at the time we lived about a block away from a planned parenthood the idea was that i d go home after but my nightmare boss ma...
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