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description= kicking the shit out of life every day, right in the nuts;
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i finally decide to spring for a streaming service with hbo content fortunately the milk by neil gaiman did you grow up with a dad who always had a ridiculous response for everything you asked who liked to embellish and make up ludicrous stories about the most mundane things who wouldn t ever admit that santa claus is make believe even after you and your sisters caught him red handed hauling in gifts from the garage one night and even now when you re in your 30 s and he still insists that he was just picking those gifts up from his annual parent santa conference seriously he still will not give up that ghost then this book will remind you of him and of all the fantastical far fetched things he told you when you were growing up keep that magic alive read it to your kids you ll have so much fun together i m so grateful that even though i ve gone nowhere and seen nobody this year wasn t a complete and total waste i have all this reading to show for my lockdown life and my beautiful son too of course i went on a lot of incredible journeys and i saw the world in so many wonderful iterations i escaped lockdown every time i opened a book i fucking love reading man and i m so glad that it s one thing this pandemic hasn t been able to take from me pass the good vibes on share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading posted in drunken adventures tagged books celeste ng donna tartt neil gaiman reading stephen king 8 comments june 11 2020 night moves i m writing this for me if you re interested in a long read about how i gave birth then by all means please continue but if not that s cool because this post isn t meant for anyone else anyways by week 38 my pregnancy was progressing along exactly as expected so i was quite surprised when i had a weekly checkup on friday with my ob gyn and she told me that my cervix was already 4cm dilated i hadn t felt a single contraction or slight discomfort up to that point and i was expecting every cm of dilation to be part of the overall going into labour process my ob gyn said some people just have favourable cervixes that soften and open up fairly easily she did a stretch and sweep to see if she could continue to encourage my cervix along i left that appointment 4cm dilated already a little freaked out the doctor told me that if i wanted to i could go to the hospital right that moment to be induced because based on the conditions of my cervix they would keep me there d had to wait in the car for me because of current covid policies at the doctor s office so when i got in and told him the status he was pretty freaked out too we were both feeling like this baby was just going to pop out at any minute we decided to go home we both were expecting to do two more full weeks of work and i didn t want to try and force the whole process it d be better if everything just progressed naturally we went home and everything was fine i felt the same as before no contractions no discomfort i woke up that saturday morning around 2am feeling some cramping in my stomach i rode it out for about 15 minutes until it passed but i shook d awake to alert him that maybe this was it we were both super wired and not sure what to do with ourselves the cramping sensation went away and didn t come back so we figured it was okay to go back to bed but neither of us could sleep we woke up around 8am and d immediately went into prep mode he got out and did a bunch of grocery shopping and some errands to try and wrap up last minute things in case i did go into active labour that whole weekend came and went us on edge the whole time but without anything eventful happening i went back to my ob gyn for my 39 week checkup just a few days shy of 39 weeks she checked my cervix again and confirmed i was 5cm dilated and 70 effaced she did another stretch and sweep to see if that would kickstart active labour for me and we went home we finished up the work week again and figured we d hopefully make it to the 40 week mark without issue if we made it to 40 weeks we d go to the hospital and get induced i kept waiting for this magical mucus plug everyone talks about to come out but i never saw it i did start having some watery like discharge and thought that was a bit weird but didn t think too much of it on saturday may 23rd d and i went for a walk after lunch because it was such a nice sunny day as we were nearing the end of our walk i felt this sudden little gush of fluid that i couldn t control and assumed i d just pissed myself in the street when we got home i noticed again that it was a very watery substance and didn t seem like pee at all that was when it clicked that i was probably leaking amniotic fluid i texted our doula for her advice and she told me i should call the labour delivery line at the hospital to see what they thought knowing the state of my cervix our doula felt that i might have a very fast labour once it did start actively so wanted us to be on the safe side and get to the hospital earlier than planned d was outside and had started cutting the grass i called the labour delivery line and they said i should definitely come in i started rounding up our bags and packing a few last minute things we needed d came inside for a quick glass of water thinking he could get started on the backyard next but i told him to get his shit together because we re going to the hospital today and we won t be leaving without a baby we got the car loaded up and drove to the hospital we were there at 3pm i had to go in first to be assessed and they told me if i was admitted then i could text d to come in another quick check of my cervix and the doctor recommended that we start the induction process they advised that i was slowly leaking amniotic fluid and likely had a small tear high up on the amniotic sac i was taken to a birthing room and made a quick call to d around 3 30pm to tell him he could come on in the nurses got me into a gown hooked me up to their machines for monitoring and started a low dose of oxytocin around 4 30pm to jumpstart some contractions the doctor also broke my water i setup my bluetooth speaker and got my carefully curated labouring playlist rocking so we d have awesome music to help me stay relaxed when the nurse came back to check on me around 5 30pm she confirmed that we were now 6cm dilated and 95 effaced and i still had yet to feel a single thing except for the occasional gush of amniotic fluid spilling out from my broken water we joked around that maybe i was one of those lucky silent labourers and that this could be a really easy process for me that unfortunately was not the case around 6 30pm actual contractions started and i was definitely feeling them they came on hard and fast with a bang my contractions were lasting one minute but with only one minute of rest before the next one would start one on top of the other boom boom boom the contractions were relentless i was managing the pain by staying on my feet swaying along to my music with some hand holding and encouragement from d but it was getting pretty tough i wasn t sure how i felt about epidurals overall i was game for trying to labour without one but also totally open to the possibility of having one as well if i felt it was needed i asked the nurse what my point of no return for getting an epidural was and she told me it was at 10cm fully dilated with that in mind i kept labouring and trying to manage the pain as much as i could the next time the nurse came to check me i was 8 5cm dilated and well on my way to 9cm to be on the safe side i decided to ask for the epidural we were so close to 10cm and the pain was only getting more intense it didn t ever seem like it would ebb the nurse told me that the anesthesiologist was on the floor and already lined up for four other epidurals so i d have to wait another 30 40 minutes i just had to hope my overly ambitious cervix wouldn t go on to 10cm before the epidural could be administered thankfully when the anesthesiologist got to me i was holding strong at 9cm they had me sit upright on the hospital bed with my legs over one side d stood in front of me and needed to keep me still and calm while the doctor did his thing d said this part was the most stressful for him watching a doctor probe my spine while i was suffering absolutely brutal contractions and being told to stay perfectly still or else the doctor kept feeling around and asking where i felt things and then all of a sudden i cried out in pain because of an immediately stabbing sensation in my left hip i told him what i felt and he said okay that s not the spot then and kept feeling around he found the right spot after that and got the epidural going once i could move again the nurse had me lay down and try to relax while the drugs kicked in that was a very chill hour i just shut my eyes felt the pins and needles sensation in my feet slowly spread into numbness all through my legs and listened to my tunes i remember looking at the clock and it was about 11pm we started to wonder now that it was getting close to midnight if this was going to be a may 23rd or may 24th baby the nurse said some women on the floor only pushed for 10 15 minutes and was encouraging me that i could probably be a quick pusher too we d just wait a bit for me to tell them when i felt any sort of pushing sensation nope oh man so much nope on that the epidural worked too well i guess because i never once felt any kind of pushing sensation down below i did feel a band of tightness every once in a while under my ribcage when i mentioned that to the nurse she said those were my contractions now holy shit the nurse told us how it was going to go down when i felt that tightness under my ribcage she d lift and hold one of my legs and d would do the same with the other i d take a deep breath then start pushing while d slowly counted to 10 i d do this three times in a row then take a break before the next contraction started d was super calm very quiet and serious exactly what i expect from him when shit hits the fan he clamps down hard on any sort of emotion and shoves it out of the way so he can deal with the immediate issues he was supportive too but in his own collected way i felt very calm as well i was determined to just roll with whatever happened during labour and be cool man i did not turn into that stereotypical angry and cursing woman everyone insisted i would become i never once screamed at d not to touch me or to go away or hate on him for doing this to me that s fine if it s what works for other women but for me i don t think that s productive at all we both wanted this baby i just drew the short biological straw and had to be the one to offer up my crotch as sacrifice pushing lasted almost 3 hours around 2 5 hours it was obvious that all the pushing in the world couldn t make this baby come out and the nurse called in the doctor baby was super low into the birth canal and conditions were all optimal for pushing him out but for some reason he was really wedged in there the doctor advised that a vacuum assisted delivery was necessary and we agreed here s a crazy detail there was a big overhead light right above my hospital bed and the clear plastic cover over it was highly reflective when i looked up at that light it was basically a mirror and i could see everything happening to myself on the table i watched them bring out the vacuum and start fitting it into my vagina when everything was setup the nurse advised we d start the pushing process again i bore down on every part of my body i could still feel and pushed as hard as i fucking could i looked up at the light that was basically a mirror and started to see a dark round shape emerging from my body surreal it looked so tiny and in my mind this whole time i had a bowling ball inside of me that we were trying to get out instead of a tiny little human with one sudden whoosh the baby s head was out and the rest of the body followed so smoothly i couldn t believe the baby was out i was speechless d had to tell me three times that it was a boy before i even registered it the one thing that stood out most for me is that of all the songs on my well crafted playlist night moves by bob seger is what was playing when he finally arrived and now when i hear that song about horny teenagers trying to get laid i cry because i think about my baby boy awesome although i guess it is kind of cool because i did have a black haired beauty with big dark eyes so it works in it s own ridiculous way on may 24th at 2 52am our baby boy elwood broderick brown was born they took him away to do some quick tests and measurements while i delivered the afterbirth i wound up with a second degree tear and an episiotomy fun when they put him in my arms for the first time the playlist was rocking good times bad times by led zeppelin super cool i hugged him and cried we stayed in the birthing room for a while longer so they could continue to monitor elwood since they had to use a vacuum on his head during delivery they wanted to make sure there wasn t any unusual swelling or bruising i got to give him his first bottle and we had lots of snuggles around 6 30am d took a minute to get changed out of his clothes from the day before and brush his teeth the nursing team cleared out of the room to let the three of us be alone when d came out of the restroom it was just me and woody in that moment without a million random people in and out of the room d was hit by all the waves of emotion he d been clamping down on all night long we hugged each other and cried together in complete awe that the little human we made who we d been dying to meet was here now and now here we are two new parents born a mom and dad with a little baby boy working on an entirely new set of night moves working on mysteries without any clues workin and practicin workin and practicin all of the night moves pass the good vibes on share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading posted in family our baby tagged birth birth story family labour new baby pregnancy 4 comments may 11 2020 bumpdates i am 37 weeks pregnant right now and i am freaking out man 40 weeks sounds like such a long time but it goes by in a flash everyone told me the last few weeks will feel like they go on forever and that i ll be dying to get the baby out but right now i can t picture myself feeling that way at all even under normal societal circumstances i know there s a lot to process mental...
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