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stry discernment faith healing false doctrine false teacher female pastors female preachers heresy heretic kathryn kathryn krick krick nar new apostolic reformation 4 comments complementarianism mailbag the mailbag what if men just show up at women s events august 11 2026 august 10 2026 michelle lesley hello i believe as you do about women pastors and not usurping authority or teaching over men some women such as priscilla schirer sic just as an example who speak to thousands are considered as unscriptural because men are often present now i do know some encourage male attendance but what if they don t but men show up that s not really in their control right what would you do if men attended an event you re speaking at i mean this sincerely just wondering how this could be handled thank you this is a great question i ve received a number of times so when i was recently asked again by this reader i thought i d just drop my answer right into the ol mailbag there s a foundational understanding i need to lay before answering there are three types of women with public speaking teaching ministries those who know what scripture says about women preaching and teaching the bible to men and strive to obey it those who know what scripture says about women preaching and teaching the bible to men but don t care and choose to disobey it those who don t know what scripture says about women preaching and teaching the bible to men you ll find women like susan heck martha peace doreen virtue amy spreeman and me in the first category you ll find about 97 of today s most popular women s speakers teachers like priscilla shirer beth moore lysa terkeurst christine caine jen wilkin and so on in the second category women in the third category don t know scripture well enough to be teaching anyone so you shouldn t follow them for that reason regardless of whether they teach men or only women when confronted about their sinful practice of teaching men those second category women often cry we can t help it if men just show up as though they re helpless victims of men choosing to attend their women s conferences and there s nothing they can do about it hogwash baloney and poppycock those women are not helpless victims who have unwittingly had men foisted upon them they re rebels against scripture who are perfectly fine with preaching to men in fact priscilla shirer and most of the other aforementioned examples of second category women have preached the sunday sermon in a church multiple times don t tell me they didn t know men would be present in the sunday morning worship service so when they try to present this helpless victim of men showing up otherwise i would have obeyed scripture scenario they are lying to you they are totally fine with preaching to men and they will blasphemously twist scripture to try to make you fine with it too so understanding that foundation from the get go should help us reframe the way we think about this scenario of men showing up at a women s event how do first category women handle this situation well being one i ll be happy to explain first before you ever embark on a teaching ministry you study the scriptures come to a biblical understanding of the role of christian women and you make a holy spirit empowered decision of the will that you re going to obey christ regardless of the cost that s just what we do about everything as christians it is the essence of the christian life next you make it abundantly clear in all aspects of your ministry that you hold the biblical position of the role of women and that you emphatically do not teach men i kinda feel like anybody who s been following me for more than five minutes knows that about me next when you create your event speaking information and materials you again make it explicitly clear that you only teach women the very first sentence on my speaking engagements page says i am available to speak on biblical topics at women s conferences workshops retreats breakout sessions and other women s events if that s not clear enough my event planner faqs document which discusses the issue further is also linked on that page and my speaking engagement request form requires that the pastor of the church hosting the event be familiar with my theology especially on hot button issues like the biblical role of women when i receive a speaking engagement request i check out the requesting church if it s a church that has female pastors or allows women to preach or teach men my husband my events coordinator will specifically address that with the church s event planner during the booking process in ten years of event speaking that has happened once and i did not speak at that church s event they weren t asking me to teach men at their event but i m not going to give the appearance of tacitly endorsing a church that allows women to pastor preach or teach men by accepting their invitation to speak i have bent over backwards to make it perfectly clear that i only teach women the second category women don t in fact they make it perfectly clear that they re fine with teaching men by accepting speaking engagements where they already know men will be in attendance such as preaching the sunday sermon or contracting with lifeway women which welcomes men at their women s events if a speaker makes it clear that she only teaches women event planners don t usually ask her to speak at co ed events if a planner for a co ed event somehow manages to miss the speaker s clearly stated information it s the responsibility of the speaker to find out about the event and turn down those that invite men to attend an invitation to speak at an event is not a subpoena the speaker is absolutely free to turn it down and if the event is unbiblical such as a co ed event for a female speaker she has a biblical responsibility to turn it down when potential event attendees are familiar with the speaker and her position on the role of women and the event is advertised as a women s event men generally get the picture that they re not welcome or wanted and they don t show up and these days i request security at my events it s security s job to intercept anyone whether that s an armed attacker a protester or a man who wants to attend who shouldn t be there and could endanger the women attending or disrupt the event that being said this scenario of men just showing up to attend a women s event actually happened to me once in ten years of event speaking i was asked to teach a couple of breakout sessions for women at a doctrinally sound co ed conference the host organization and i were in complete agreement that only women would attend my sessions and that was indicated in all of the publicity materials about five minutes after i started teaching my first session a couple of young men wandered in and took seats near the back i continued my opening remarks for a minute or two hoping they d look around get a clue and leave when they didn t and it had become obvious that they were there as attendees seeking to be taught not looking for their wives running the sound board or some other legitimate reason i stopped teaching and as gently and kindly as i possibly could because i didn t want to embarrass them or make things more awkward than they already were i said something along the lines of hi guys i m so honored that you d like to hear me teach but i don t teach men and this session is for women only you might enjoy attending brother so so s session it s right down the hall and they immediately and apologetically with no hint of offense stood up and and left and i continued teaching the women no big whoop they just didn t know any better but i was able to teach them without teaching them i did however as soon as that first session was over track down the host of the conference and asked him to announce in the next plenary session that my remaining breakout sessions were for women only i wasn t a victim there was a kind loving and biblical way to handle the situation and i handled it those second category women they don t because they don t see men in their audiences as any sort of an issue the bottom line in this situation is that if you want to obey christ in your ministry you ll make that your top priority and he ll give you the grace to do so if you don t want to obey christ in your ministry you won t those second category women don t want to obey christ or they would if you have a question about a bible passage an aspect of theology a current issue in christianity or how to biblically handle a family life or church situation comment below i ll hold all questions in queue unpublished for a future edition of the mailbag or send me an e mail or private message if your question is chosen for publication your anonymity will be protected share this share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on telegram opens in new window telegram more share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin like loading tagged biblical role of women biblical role of women in the church biblical womanhood christian women speakers christian women teachers christian women s conferences complementarian complementarian women false doctrine false teachers lifeway lifeway women sound doctrine women pastors women preaching to men women teaching men the bible women s conferences 4 comments poetry sanctification how a little acorn helped reassure a nut like me august 6 2026 august 4 2026 michelle lesley originally published september 27 2016 there are two kinds of people in this world throwers and savers or hoarders if your saving has breached the clinical level i m a thrower married to a saver which means i have thrown out some stuff i later wished i d kept and my husband has saved a lot of stuff we haven t used in ages and probably never will but recently i came across something i m really glad i kept all these years i was going through a box of old papers happily doing my thrower thing when i discovered a manilla folder marked in my handwriting michelle s misc creative writing whatever it was i didn t remember saving the folder nor what it might contain i opened it up to find a two inch thick sheaf of well my miscellaneous writings from years gone by sermon notes creative writing assignments and essays for english classes poems song lyrics short stories even what looked like the manuscript to a devotional i d started on fortunately i had dated most of the papers so i could see that the bulk of them were written when i was between the ages of about 14 to 21 as i leafed through pages of adolescent script alternating with dot matrix printing i started noticing a common thread nearly all of this writing was about god faith the bible worship wanting to know him more to be sure the faith was childlike if not downright child ish and the theology was often immature and somewhat unbiblical but it was there and all these years i d wondered whether or not that faith had existed back then at all you see i was raised in church and although i was most definitely a depraved little wretch my outward behavior was fairly decent compared with some of the other kids my age i got good grades never had behavior problems in school was at church every time the doors were open never tried sex drugs cigarettes crime or anything else teens sometimes get into overall i was your basic goodie two shoes so when i prayed a prayer for salvation at age 12 there was no great big radical lightning bolt change in my life things continued pretty much as usual had my heart changed looking back all those years later as an adult with terrible recollective abilities i couldn t really remember as i skimmed through page after page of longing for god love for god wanting to please god something hit me like a ton of bricks lost people don t have that kind of want to tweet but as i skimmed through page after page of longing for god love for god wanting to please god something i told a reader not long ago who was concerned she might not be saved hit me like a ton of bricks lost people don t have that kind of want to i didn t have all my doctrine straight or walk in christian maturity and i wouldn t have known an apologist from an apostate but i wanted god i loved him as best i knew how at the time i had that want to i was saved god had used a dusty box of old papers to reassure me and put those doubts to rest it was one of those precious moments alone with the lord that you never forget i didn t have all my doctrine straight or walk in christian maturity and i wouldn t have known an apologist from an apostate but i wanted god tweet so to sort of celebrate that little moment in my walk with the lord i wanted to share with you one of the poems i found in that folder it was undated but i think i wrote it when i was in high school or college now i m just going to warn you up front it s long and it s lame and it s a corny and some of the cadence is off and so is the doctrine and it just plain needs a lot of editing but i had a good laugh over it and i thought you might too hint it s funnier if you read it out loud i am a little acorn i am a little acorn a fact that s plain to see but remember that the might oak was once a nut like me when i was a baby bud i burst forth from a limb i grew a little every day out from my little stem as i grew older day by day an identity crisis hit me i searched my heart and searched my soul to find out just what i should be i did not want to be a nut i cried i cant i won t because sometimes you feel like a nut sometimes you don t i tried to be a button and a rolling tumbleweed i tried to be a jelly bean but still did not succeed oprah geraldo sally and phil all let me spill my guts something other than an acorn they asked you can t you must be nuts my fame and fortune quickly spread i was known both far and wide but no one knew my secret dark i was lost and scared inside then finally one day i turned to the lord and cried out with all my might why oh why do i continue to fail why won t something go right remember to whom you are speaking said he i am the great i am but i m also the root of david and the seed of abraham from small beginnings come great things this fact is tried and true the mighty oak could never be without an acorn like you all are given different gifts and must do as best they can to find a way to channel them according to god s plan so cheer up little acorn and learn the secret known by few be content with what you re given and let god work through you i ll be the best acorn ever said he i ll do as god has led then standing bold and brave and tall the acorn proudly said i am a little acorn a fact that s plain to see but remember that the mighty oak was ...
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