Meta tags:
description= A place for everyday creativity + life-documenting. There ll be paper, stripes + plenty of tales. And if you laugh along the way then all the better.;
Headings (most frequently used words):
2019, 2018, of, quiet, january, 12, the, and, to, about, year, two, my, pages, filed, away, saturday, 16, february, tuesday, 29, sunday, 13, friday, october, wednesday, september, subscribe, life, documenting, dispatches, from, land, flu, haunted, urethra, leave, stand, short, story, lust, microwaves, in, bad, portraits, welcome, worth, awkward, photo, fails, 50, shades, nay, chapter, biggest, fears, growing, out, grey, can, have, word, things, people, wished, you, knew, on, day,
Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (387), you (295), and (243), that (148), for (88), your (87), with (73), not (70), this (64), like (64), but (59), have (48), just (48), out (48), was (47), when (47), quiet (46), can (46), about (44), all (43), one (41), from (40), his (39), are (37), may (36), there (35), how (35), day (34), they (34), time (34), share (31), then (30), who (30), where (30), what (29), don (29), while (27), our (27), know (26), people (26), been (26), make (26), over (25), which (25), because (25), even (24), had (23), any (22), still (22), get (21), more (21), now (20), might (20), something (20), life (20), here (20), into (19), #january (19), will (18), them (18), right (18), really (18), february (18), him (17), were (17), being (17), looking (17), julie (16), today (16), first (16), than (16), year (16), grey (16), look (16), yourself (15), think (15), around (15), fear (15), well (14), thing (14), could (14), feel (14), too (14), hair (14), things (13), maybe (13), find (13), down (13), come (13), other (13), take (13), little (13), those (13), comments (12), only (12), someone (12), trying (12), never (12), got (12), work (12), back (12), always (12), some (12), also (12), need (12), bad (12), before (12), talk (11), watching (11), didn (11), going (11), say (11), september (11), october (11), modelling (11), kirk (10), person (10), yet (10), kind (10), off (10), without (10), stop (10), want (10), let (10), would (10), their (10), thought (10), last (10), portraits (10), hands (10), microwave (10), flu (10), symptoms (10), december (10), june (10), july (10), see (9), face (9), hand (9), actually (9), should (9), myself (9), care (9), better (9), two (9), long (9), own (9), away (9), good (9), world (9), end (9), eyes (9), include (9), november (9), march (9), april (9), august (9), older (8), enough (8), self (8), reading (8), love (8), she (8), keep (8), please (8), old (8), why (8), most (8), much (8), body (8), lunch (8), ever (8), hey (8), months (8), these (8), photos (8), photo (8), leave (8), tip (8), home (7), story (7), writing (7), friends (7), child (7), change (7), way (7), many (7), against (7), far (7), moment (7), social (7), dye (7), since (7), week (7), biggest (7), head (7), feeling (7), above (7), kitchen (7), high (7), food (7), facebook (6), 2018 (6), speak (6), else (6), shell (6), word (6), group (6), through (6), side (6), front (6), mouth (6), same (6), asked (6), often (6), managed (6), read (6), left (6), yeah (6), reasons (6), made (6), point (6), conversation (6), rather (6), appear (6), inner (6), check (6), idea (6), least (6), once (6), longer (6), put (6), selfie (6), has (6), doing (6), another (6), new (6), soup (6), bowl (6), house (6), pinterest (5), blogthis (5), email (5), labels (5), posted (5), anything (5), instagram (5), key (5), having (5), complete (5), top (5), manage (5), agent (5), taking (5), mean (5), experience (5), talking (5), part (5), move (5), round (5), every (5), best (5), however (5), types (5), during (5), fact (5), later (5), laugh (5), hard (5), anyone (5), found (5), sometimes (5), nothing (5), netflix (5), doesn (5), call (5), personality (5), small (5), takes (5), help (5), sit (5), quietly (5), likely (5), though (5), mind (5), tea (5), sharing (5), greying (5), wasn (5), media (5), seen (5), mine (5), again (5), women (5), yes (5), documenting (5), accidentally (5), shot (5), did (5), badportraits (5), very (5), mother (5), land (5), morning (5), wouldn (5), haunted (5), effects (5), urethra (5), posts (4), shy (4), louder (4), dare (4), admit (4), turn (4), clearly (4), meeting (4), soon (4), ways (4), shut (4), control (4), situation (4), happens (4), couldn (4), her (4), miss (4), course (4), after (4), second (4), sure (4), next (4), sitting (4), school (4), told (4), especially (4), finally (4), simply (4), ourselves (4), book (4), together (4), outgoing (4), isn (4), missed (4), honestly (4), big (4), job (4), between (4), ones (4), offer (4), few (4), years (4), return (4), open (4), considered (4), bit (4), different (4), real (4), below (4), thinking (4), judging (4), loud (4), wanted (4), under (4), almost (4), done (4), won (4), happy (4), lot (4), growing (4), quite (4), weeks (4), try (4), age (4), month (4), eye (4), shared (4), dyeing (4), definitely (4), looks (4), appearance (4), free (4), place (4), choice (4), does (4), eating (4), james (4), full (4), nice (4), become (4), awkward (4), short (4), fiction (4), cooking (4), felt (4), stand (4), across (4), its (4), height (4), towards (4), water (4), drop (4), although (4), came (4), sandwich (4), legs (4), eat (4), cheese (4), hours (4), dry (4), cystitis (4), bread (4), cough (4), atom (3), introvert (3), softly (3), spoken (3), chat (3), wished (3), said (3), nature (3), plain (3), give (3), stories (3), past (3), gregarious (3), perfectly (3), working (3), hope (3), along (3), heard (3), public (3), speaking (3), natural (3), everything (3), literary (3), bring (3), phone (3), already (3), tiny (3), personalities (3), company (3), times (3), shower (3), outside (3), camera (3), apart (3), seems (3), join (3), knowing (3), knew (3), reason (3), tell (3), less (3), set (3), despite (3), knows (3), quieter (3), offered (3), early (3), explain (3), such (3), chance (3), power (3), led (3), telling (3), concern (3), whether (3), friend (3), used (3), mainly (3), guess (3), probably (3), young (3), realise (3), break (3), ears (3), embarrassment (3), aren (3), either (3), room (3), aware (3), meet (3), worst (3), opportunity (3), modern (3), shades (3), style (3), hello (3), blog (3), experiment (3), thoughts (3), worth (3), welcome (3), grow (3), obvious (3), students (3), seeing (3), whatever (3), sky (3), tips (3), shop (3), hell (3), sounding (3), clothes (3), pose (3), absolutely (3), colour (3), mirror (3), unable (3), sound (3), feels (3), crack (3), start (3), oil (3), decent (3), walking (3), happen (3), crying (3), awful (3), behind (3), hot (3), bedroom (3), yours (3), following (3), 2019 (3), write (3), tale (3), remember (3), meal (3), lust (3), brain (3), lips (3), neck (3), glass (3), counter (3), heat (3), cold (3), stuff (3), romance (3), fridge (3), alive (3), knees (3), list (3), sheets (3), toast (3), wall (3), money (3), poor (3), normal (3), wait (3), loved (3), roll (3), carpet (3), bathroom (3), dispatches (3), subscribe (2), susan (2), cain (2), thanks (2), pausing (2), population (2), annoying (2), points (2), simple (2), access (2), given (2), church (2), able (2), written (2), standing (2), alone (2), nobody (2), sick (2), fine (2), strengths (2), act (2), automatically (2), grab (2), shine (2), groups (2), unruly (2), setting (2), london (2), personally (2), fewer (2), recently (2), mentioned (2), saying (2), needed (2), numbers (2), introverts (2), additional (2), circumstances (2), game (2), particularly (2), maintain (2), friendships (2), personal (2), instead (2), bubbly (2), cut (2), forever (2), hiding (2), fortunately (2), hadn (2), internalised (2), spade (2), weren (2), letting (2), confidence (2), believe (2), notice (2), evidence (2), record (2), duties (2), overlooked (2), teachers (2), particular (2), gone (2), genuinely (2), wanting (2), ability (2), low (2), children (2), proper (2), fit (2), contrast (2), focus (2), using (2), plan (2), others (2), ask (2), getting (2), whole (2), general (2), trust (2), term (2), relationship (2), creativity (2), certainly (2), consider (2), safe (2), recognise (2), obviously (2), publicly (2), generally (2), silently (2), observing (2), picking (2), decide (2), moving (2), live (2), preferably (2), constantly (2), asks (2), worked (2), respond (2), equally (2), happened (2), pointed (2), lack (2), making (2), relaxed (2), society (2), hear (2), win (2), perhaps (2), comes (2), shall (2), exactly (2), somehow (2), expectations (2), contribute (2), goes (2), naturally (2), listening (2), understand (2), deal (2), days (2), encouraged (2), grombre (2), treat (2), hotel (2), forgive (2), post (2), original (2), began (2), case (2), glad (2), experiences (2), further (2), line (2), actual (2), started (2), turning (2), closer (2), buying (2), easiest (2), advice (2), boots (2), supermarket (2), entirely (2), fears (2), process (2), speed (2), nay (2), caring (2), quick (2), wrote (2), gave (2), withjuliekirk (2), amongst (2), neither (2), stage (2), places (2), dress (2), similarly (2), everyone (2), enjoy (2), interest (2), begins (2), shoulders (2), asda (2), warm (2), present (2), must (2), joke (2), worthy (2), teeth (2), makes (2), taken (2), means (2), kinds (2), scared (2), surely (2), mistakes (2), flattering (2), grown (2), selfies (2), humour (2), funny (2), painting (2), question (2), learn (2), outfit (2), instagrammer (2), 2016 (2), 2015 (2), catch (2), lit (2), reached (2), embracing (2), fails (2), followed (2), comment (2), bloody (2), worry (2), 3rd (2), god (2), five (2), play (2), tapping (2), future (2), blank (2), meanwhile (2), fuss (2), stomach (2), pocket (2), project (2), note (2), angles (2), otherwise (2), flushing (2), 4th (2), visit (2), sunday (2), themed (2), odd (2), until (2), vegetable (2), questions (2), microwaved (2), white (2), ding (2), stay (2), touch (2), chest (2), powder (2), moves (2), wide (2), waist (2), reach (2), scented (2), sleep (2), close (2), says (2), beer (2), himself (2), clear (2), sink (2), sparks (2), novels (2), watch (2), hoping (2), vote (2), passed (2), alternative (2), drinking (2), 1991 (2), sofa (2), beneath (2), draw (2), instinctively (2), strides (2), toe (2), laundry (2), stepping (2), lucky (2), pale (2), haven (2), backs (2), drift (2), skin (2), coming (2), wild (2), car (2), thoreau (2), both (2), recap (2), disappointment (2), door (2), walden (2), caught (2), created (2), night (2), including (2), level (2), palm (2), appetite (2), extra (2), slick (2), nutrition (2), cheeky (2), microwaves (2), minor (2), evil (2), sport (2), boys (2), peter (2), kavinsky (2), coughing (2), antibiotics (2), paper (2), reference (2), clean (2), downstairs (2), ridden (2), happening (2), cover (2), plot (2), twist (2), based (2), exchange (2), aching (2), fantasies (2), sudden (2), plum (2), pains (2), superbowl (2), wants (2), sweaty (2), matter (2), burning (2), notes (2), extreme (2), skip (2), quietday, gasbags, understood, nodding, recognition, slugs, snails, evicted, majority, battle, defined, microphone, eulogy, packed, family, members, confessed, delivering, speech, altar, upper, aint, gobby, anxiety, chatting, honesty, peers, workshops, scarier, aspects, berating, defiance, thinks, shouldn, entire, wherein, cohort, whittled, moral, opportunities, raucous, gauge, pipe, somewhat, perversely, flip, reluctance, wider, terror, couple, large, brace, attention, opening, audience, element, novel, attended, four, separate, meetings, example, handle, domineering, headteacher, batting, eyelid, secretary, class, referred, chatterbox, emphasis, rub, struggle, heighten, held, anxieties, true, gabbing, specific, confident, tough, fancy, easier, dive, bed, weekends, absent, mooch, curl, chattery, nattery, hearts, slack, inviting, asking, calling, lying, buy, boost, impact, serve, objective, wrong, applied, role, friendship, vacuum, inside, stuck, practitioner, deliberately, champion, kids, hosting, various, activities, liked, gifted, talented, loudest, candidates, gifts, adult, noisy, underestimated, negotiating, tricky, weekend, voluntarily, information, shocked, calming, influence, track, keeping, voice, member, staff, attempted, lots, implication, works, subject, explores, west, education, employment, systems, basics, discussions, classrooms, offices, lacking, succeed, introversion, shyness, issues, autistic, spectrum, hsp, highly, sensitive, team, awareness, judged, structure, prizes, ours, comfortable, communicate, improve, coax, shown, denying, imagine, jobs, express, follow, obsessed, changing, blunt, confrontational, traits, embarrassing, pointing, weakness, environment, party, nervous, leap, chatty, fill, blanks, plotting, downfall, temporary, accomodation, soundproofed, contributing, adults, accepting, skills, qualities, bless, inappropriately, congratulations, woo, hoo, expect, continue, silence, facetious, workshop, contributions, intentioned, scrutiny, remainder, notion, marked, sealed, tighter, smile, unexpectedly, joins, worse, pricking, serves, increase, discomfort, interaction, impossible, wish, ten, minutes, peace, decided, rarely, western, suggested, backed, conversational, corner, duct, tape, slapped, mouths, yep, ruder, retaliate, gobshite, embellished, rude, natter, seem, deluded, patently, achieve, opposite, gathering, dread, aloud, considering, themselves, uniquely, insightful, baldly, states, secret, news, chattiest, cathies, mentioning, externally, monologues, loudly, cajoling, debating, assessing, harder, decibel, range, hostage, negotiator, hollering, thunderstorm, internally, keenly, failing, insists, shells, critics, expected, harshly, quietness, critic, spending, precisely, pause, amid, incessant, chatter, hushed, tones, comrades, misunderstood, reflecting, called, folks, suit, ideal, remaining, 364, sept, 12th, national, stimulation, tune, switch, wednesday, styling, waste, excuses, showing, begin, drafted, ago, lived, length, unlike, roots, feelings, coloured, adventure, aboard, update, halting, sisyphean, cycle, covering, mistaken, younger, university, supporting, campus, girl, hanging, classes, colleague, trouble, requests, coffee, 40s, ided, wine, wherever, insta, ogling, packs, rotisserie, chicken, eaten, survive, great, responses, section, enjoyed, hearing, tried, stripper, ray, silvering, locks, silver, linings, channelled, stopped, wardrobe, restyle, haircut, impression, hopefully, trick, chopping, account, indeed, mop, trace, marching, mastering, ragged, untidy, muddled, inbetweeny, nor, risk, dishevelled, bugs, clock, interpret, sharp, dig, soft, tells, creates, reinforces, outfits, attempting, vain, openly, confess, makeup, shoes, priority, truth, putting, selves, forwards, several, dozens, girls, frequently, vilified, critical, whose, ends, practicalities, worn, feet, arrested, indecent, exposure, cereal, aisle, convention, physically, huge, construct, proud, judgemental, appearances, percentage, witness, current, amazing, technicolor, dream, cross, noticed, woman, visible, root, regrowth, hmmm, herself, lately, 5ft, 2in, size, psychologically, unwilling, lady, embellish, thin, veneer, youthfulness, genetics, dad, retired, retirement, boast, spent, lifetime, correcting, assumptions, status, wondering, privileged, indulgent, honest, trepidation, gloss, concerns, superficial, systematically, kept, frivolous, childish, serious, associated, traditional, femininity, rom, coms, masculine, pastimes, purely, socially, constructed, persuades, sold, products, promote, exact, tapped, possibly, ageing, grew, 90s, boxy, jackets, immediate, hardest, race, hence, experimenting, gorgeous, inspiration, hashtag, reaching, problems, violins, display, frustrating, becoming, cease, chapter, friday, blogging, imperfect, meme, culture, pity, granted, dude, paint, looker, clutching, clammy, baroque, artist, angle, unless, interesting, chin, tattoo, shots, prove, loves, appears, paparazzi, bay, modest, gesture, hold, timer, distracted, half, vintage, jumper, charity, fashion, oriented, deciding, resting, dear, allowed, possessed, neo, matrix, seriously, additionally, staged, buggered, strictly, 2013, 2014, http, notesonpaper, blogspot, com, html, 2017, psssssst, faces, jeez, holiday, annoyed, innate, skill, glare, carried, penance, diving, poised, struggles, manipulated, fun, advantage, capture, complain, movie, 2nd, cry, country, crisps, library, aged, sly, crafty, drugged, sweets, dead, consciousness, forthright, nun, whenever, midwife, thugs, wire, cars, canvas, easily, adopt, personas, posing, fire, foster, greater, respect, models, bringing, sank, suddenly, keys, channeling, arrived, curfew, claims, police, actor, character, practicing, startled, scooby, doo, cultivate, signature, rembrandt, portrait, edition, guilt, voyeurism, commence, shaming, critique, deprecating, healthy, assessment, each, content, fresh, enema, ego, balance, clockwork, visual, equivalent, detox, dropped, familiar, concept, amwriting, relationships, piece, submit, competition, theme, vaguest, prompts, imagination, effect, view, complicit, illicit, pierce, film, lid, inclined, anyway, anywhere, encouragements, lukewarm, middle, lacklustre, ready, judge, observations, truly, sending, words, thank, goods, jaw, washing, gasp, delight, single, stationary, ridiculously, happily, oiled, walnut, husband, uses, mug, cakes, considers, witchcraft, dessert, cake, dangerously, levels, thursday, 3am, lavender, wheat, bag, cramps, finish, edges, assault, tongue, leans, floor, increasingly, quickening, breaths, dancing, bare, arms, lightly, grasping, empty, bottle, incrementally, increasing, intimacy, snatched, lunchtime, chats, deals, swapped, snacks, finished, apple, carving, marks, inching, edging, nearing, inevitability, doubts, answers, pictures, reveal, colouring, books, kid, picture, magic, wand, graze, pulls, slightly, handful, shirt, assent, static, suspected, eager, tomorrow, mmmuh, murmur, playing, towel, casually, wearing, shoulder, carefully, surface, warning, cool, serving, suggestion, cools, prepares, drinks, focused, cracks, ice, tray, childlike, remind, man, shelf, semi, drive, discussed, voted, election, referendum, carries, democratic, opened, craft, preferring, crisp, flat, refused, fizzy, brought, pop, boy, anachronism, iced, tap, gestures, living, curse, calculated, cautiously, balancing, curls, effortlessly, creased, cushions, tucking, leg, slate, enviably, easy, manner, nape, slid, inhale, quickly, straighten, facing, direction, three, bump, nose, steadying, scent, waiting, daren, actively, bumped, cramped, space, droning, oven, overhead, straight, rolling, marble, nowhere, near, tangible, tracking, preparing, transfixed, smooth, palms, freshly, laundered, lain, sinewy, firm, dark, hairs, emerging, beyond, cuff, browned, hurry, outdoor, pursuits, hiking, cycling, swimming, entails, nodded, ought, habit, park, hour, met, poring, guiding, firmly, holding, page, covers, pressed, starter, unique, twenty, chatted, philosophy, poetry, office, googled, finer, learned, bible, minimalist, garlic, foraging, organic, player, type, hipster, sting, relieved, danger, drawn, sustainable, micro, homes, digital, nomadism, dips, darts, lean, denim, wrapped, consecutive, halt, worktop, third, patio, rinses, dipping, slender, fingers, gliding, ridges, redness, cheeks, mismatched, crockery, invited, ran, lie, turfed, bedside, drawer, favourite, perfume, spritzed, impractical, focusing, pick, matching, underwear, fixate, inconveniently, bracketed, managing, lapsed, concentration, scalding, reasonable, suppose, landlord, glances, gaze, pinned, waltzing, fascinating, genuine, attracted, reply, coy, irritated, appliance, breakfast, nod, toward, counting, seconds, circles, grumbling, anticipation, forcing, overnight, oats, travel, sweet, thrilled, menu, staring, twirling, background, hum, 750, watt, orchestra, ate, chunky, tinned, snob, mostly, defrosting, occasionally, heating, baked, beans, milky, chocolate, pan, choose, creamy, squeezy, sucked, directly, tube, thread, nozzle, delicate, lip, supposedly, camembert, gratified, necessity, budget, articles, linking, income, poverty, terrible, bank, collections, local, twice, remembered, steady, slamming, base, diverts, chunk, potato, perfect, building, block, cube, oddly, olive, green, tinged, pea, slop, swallow, match, blush, judgmental, suspect, spanking, bother, courting, accident, tuesday, illness, dragging, slight, slim, brief, rainbow, sneak, rescue, treated, pretty, thankyouverymuch, chose, marvellously, romantic, obvs, published, miracle, birthday, cures, restorative, recommendations, combination, illnesses, watched, weakened, state, experienced, viewing, acted, dawns, energy, cured, platefull, homemade, mince, dumplings, beautifully, non, toxic, masculinity, alas, frankly, tonic, sleepy, hang, meals, thankfully, waterworks, fully, exorcised, light
Text of the page (random words):
welcome without it i m sending out words without knowing how they land i don t think they re lukewarm in the middle like a lacklustre microwaved ready meal but other than that it s hard to judge my own work so if you have any comments questions or encouragements i m here for them it doesn t need to be blog comment here just catch up with me anyway anywhere that s easiest for you across social media and if you re inclined to share leave to stand on your own social media or with a friend in real life that would really mean a lot julie x posted by julie kirk at 15 14 9 comments labels short story fiction short fiction amwriting cooking themed writing modern relationships modern love love story fiction writing email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sunday 13 january 2019 2018 a year in bad portraits welcome to a year s worth of awkward photo fails hello you if you ve ever dropped by to visit me here in any given january over the last 5 years you ll be familiar with the concept of my bad portraits but if not let me explain they re my visual equivalent of a new year detox they re a means for me to balance out a year of sharing the best most flattering photos of myself these days that happens over on instagram withjuliekirk where like clockwork every 4th photo i share is one of me with the ones that didn t quite make the cut for reasons which will become obvious they re a flushing out a fresh start an enema for the ego and they re a chance for me to laugh at myself and offer you the same opportunity they re my bad portraits as i say each year you are free to laugh at the following content in fact please do because otherwise what am i even doing sharing them this project is never about body shaming or self critique at worst it s self deprecating at best it s a healthy self assessment and i share mine in the hope that it ll make you feel better about yours and i never share photos that make me feel bad or ones that don t make me laugh so you re absolutely safe to laugh along so let the guilt free voyeurism commence my year in bad portraits the 2018 edition i m going to start with a photo in which i look like an oil painting it s just a pity that the oil painting in question is one of rembrandt s self portrait s granted dude could paint but he was no looker was he below i ve put together my top modelling tips so we can all learn from my mistakes because these kinds of selfies where you accidentally take a photo while clutching your phone in a clammy hand and then you end up looking like an old baroque artist are just the worst right modelling tip no 1 find your angles please note this one is never your angle unless you have an especially interesting under the chin tattoo there s never a good reason for you to be taking a selfie from below ever as these shots prove from above my loves always from above modelling tip no 2 always be aware of what your hands are doing left despite how it appears i m not actually trying to keep paparazzi at bay with a modest no photos please gesture i m just trying to get my phone s camera to take a selfie where you hold up a hand to set the self timer going and then i guess i got distracted which happens right at first this seems like a half decent outfit shot of a vintage jumper i found in a charity shop the kind any fashion oriented instagrammer might share but then as i did while deciding which shot to share you might just notice where my it looks like my right hand is resting oh dear and you might think i m an entirely different kind of instagrammer modelling tip no 3 cultivate your signature pose and while yo re practicing it in front of your bedroom mirror just be glad that startled scooby doo is the one that comes naturally to me and not you modelling tip no 4 be like an actor and think yourself into the character you re trying to project case in point here on the left i m channeling that look your mother gave you when you arrived home later than your curfew when you were 8 and where she claims she was just about to call the police to find you meanwhile on the right i m bringing to mind all those times in life when you re in public and you don t want to make a big fuss but your stomach has just sank because you ve suddenly thought oh god where did i leave my keys i thought they were in my pocket but they re not in my pocket honestly posing for outfit photos is a sure fire way to foster a greater respect for models modelling tip no 5 be a blank canvas so you can easily adopt other personas here i ve managed to appear so blank i ve accidentally allowed myself to be possessed by neo from the matrix seriously all i was trying to get was a selfie with the sky while i was out walking why does this happen to me additionally on the left my mother and i clearly tapping into our inner thugs with our we re out to hot wire cars looks while on the right i m tapping into the forthright nun pose so at least whenever i move on from modelling i ll have a future in call the midwife modelling tip no 6 leave behind your self consciousness and really feel the moment genuinely neither of these photos were staged to look funny but as to what i was really doing in them buggered if i know modelling tip no 7 at the very least try not to look like the walking dead and finally modelling tip no 8 play with the camera by embracing your inner child on the left i ve somehow managed to access the look of a sly and crafty five year old drugged up on too many sweets and on the right well i guess this is the face i make when eating crisps in a library whether i am aged 2 or 42 now while not strictly part of my modelling tips no bad portraits round up would be complete without a shot of me crying and eating generally in life if i m not doing one i m doing the other left don t worry i m crying for nice reasons i was watching the movie god s own country on netflix for what must have been the 2nd or 3rd time and yes i still cry every time and right if you ve followed my bad portraits in past years you ll already be aware that james often takes advantage of a moment where i m standing still with my mouth full no comment to capture a shot of me where i can t complain at how long he takes to take a bloody photo and so we ve reached the end of another year of my bad portraits if you d like to share my selfie struggles with a friend or on social media please do in a photo manipulated world the more people embracing the fun to be had from photo fails the better now if you don t mind seeing as how i ve carried out my penance i m diving back into another 12 months of sharing only the well lit poised photos shot from above always from above right that s it you can leave now before i give you that look you know the look this one ok maybe it s more of a glare jeez i was relaxed happy on holiday reading when this was taken i wasn t even trying to look annoyed in this photo but i do clearly it s an innate skill julie x psssssst before you go if you ve ever missed any of my awful faces fear not you can catch up with them all here badportraits 2017 badportraits 2016 badportraits 2015 http notesonpaper blogspot com 2016 01 2015 year in bad portraits html badportraits 2014 badportraits 2013 posted by julie kirk at 19 01 9 comments labels life documenting bad portraits selfie culture photos portraits selfies blogging real life humour funny imperfect life documenting a year in bad photos meme email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday 12 october 2018 50 shades of nay chapter two my two biggest fears about growing out my grey hello hello i know i know i m never here i treat this blog like a hotel i never call forgive me i won t waste time making excuses and hey i m here now and while i am you can check out how much more of my grey is showing since the last time i was here ok before we begin you should know i drafted out this post a few months ago before i d lived with the grey for any length of time and at this moment in time i don t feel quite the same unlike my roots my original feelings have been coloured by experience since then as of today 12 10 18 it s 25 weeks since i began my no dye experiment but my original thoughts which you can read below are from around the 6 12 week point but i thought they were still worth sharing in case someone reading is only just now setting off on a greying adventure and might be glad of the company welcome aboard i ll try to get around to writing an update soon and share my experiences from further down the grow out line 14 weeks without dyeing fear no 1 perhaps the the most obvious fear that i ll look older when i considered halting the sisyphean cycle of covering up my grey the idea of looking older wasn t actually my biggest concern still isn t but hey it s big enough and it s probably the most obvious so let s deal with that one first shall we all my life people have mistaken me for someone younger than my actual age when i first started working at the university supporting students in and around campus i was told that some other students on the course had asked why is that girl always hanging around with x in his classes i was 31 just this month a colleague asked if i d ever had trouble turning down students requests for me to go for a coffee with them seeing as how i was so much closer to them in age than she was i m 42 and had no idea how to break it to her and at least once in my 40s i ve been ided while buying wine maybe it s because i m small 5ft 2in size 10 or softly spoken or child free or psychologically unwilling unable to dress like a proper lady but whatever it is there s something working to embellish me with a thin veneer of youthfulness or maybe it s genetics when my dad retired from work people asked him why he was taking early retirement he wasn t he was 65 so apart from using this as an opportunity to boast joke i wanted to explain how i ve spent a lifetime correcting people s assumptions about me my age my status my experience all of which has led me here to wondering how will having grey hair change all of that 13 weeks without dyeing surely once my grey s on public display those kind of mistakes which were once frustrating but are becoming more flattering with time will cease who will i be then a grown up yeah first world problems crack out the violins right but while this all may sound privileged and indulgent i m really just trying to be honest so that anyone reading this who feels similarly knows that at least one other person out there is feeling the same trepidation i won t gloss over these concerns for fear of sounding superficial that s how women are systematically kept in place through fear of sounding frivolous childish not serious think how many things associated with traditional femininity clothes make up rom coms are also considered less worthy than masculine pastimes and it s good to recognise the purely socially constructed embarrassment that persuades us to not dare to admit we d still like to look young all while being sold products that promote that exact idea then we re tapped between either being scared of looking old and reaching for the hair dye or quietly going grey while scared of looking old when we do hence me talking about it here to contribute to the growing conversation between women experimenting with what grey means and looks like to them check out the grombre hashtag on instagram for all kinds of gorgeous greying inspiration so yes looking older is absolutely a concern of mine going grey is possibly the most ageing change in my appearance since my front teeth grew back in when i was 7 or that time in the 90s when i thought boxy jackets were a worthy style choice 13 weeks without dyeing however as i ve mentioned looking old is not the biggest fear i have not the most immediate not the one that makes looking in the mirror the hardest because first place in that race is taken by fear no 2 fear no 2 the biggest fear the fear of looking like i don t care i dare you to admit it that there s been a time when you noticed a woman with visible root regrowth of any colour not just grey and you thought to yourself hmmm has she seen herself in the mirror lately i ve thought it i m not proud of it but i have thought that kind of thing in the past i honestly try to not be judgemental about appearances at all any more but because i ve thought it i know that when a percentage of those most likely women who ll witness to my current amazing technicolor dream hair it will absolutely cross their mind that i m letting myself go that i must not care what i look like when i do oh how i really do again as with the fear of looking older the fear of sounding vain about your appearance is similarly not something we re encouraged to openly confess i know that hair makeup clothes and shoes are not everyone s priority but to a lot of us how we physically present ourselves to the world is equally a huge part of how we construct who we are for ourselves and if there wasn t some truth to the idea that many of us enjoy putting our best selves forwards then we d all only ever take just one quick selfie rather than pausing to pose for several many dozens and yet once again women young women and girls in particular are frequently vilified for caring too much about their appearance but for some it s a critical part of who we are i know there are those whose only interest in clothes begins and ends with the practicalities to fit with social convention to keep warm to keep from being arrested for indecent exposure in the cereal aisle of asda that s not me my personal style is my creativity worn on my shoulders on my feet in my ears my look is how i tell you who i am who i want to be and not just you it tells me the same things about me it creates and reinforces the person i am who i ve always been since i started picking out my outfits and attempting to dress myself at 18 months old so the idea that someone might clock my grey grow out and interpret it as evidence that i no longer care about my appearance that s aw hell that s a sharp dig in all of my soft places and i know that for however long my hair s in this untidy muddled inbetweeny neither one thing nor the other stage the risk of looking a little dishevelled will be the thing that bugs me far more than the idea of looking older older is not something i can help but looking put together like i care is something i should have control over and control could look like marching into a shop and buying a dye and mastering this unruly and ragged head of mine and yet that s not the experiment is it the experiment is seeing what this mop looks like once there s no longer a trace of dye amongst it and all my control right now is channelled into not dyeing it and fortunately while looking like i ve stopped caring is indeed my biggest fear i think maybe there s something a few things even that i can do about it a quick wardrobe restyle a haircut something anything to give the impressio...
|
