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description= Explore the boundaries of parental authority while preserving your child s free will;
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Text of the page (random words):
ly because of the view of modern jews for example the rod of chastisement is considered an instrument of mercy the talmud allows for corporal punishment with a shoestrap only there is no mention of rods at all another reason is that in the mosaic law there are instructions on punishing a man who beats his slave to death but absolute silence about beating children too severely i can only assume this is because the very idea of beating one s child was anathema to the culture and so did not need addressing also because a rod is not a switch not a flat hand not a paddle not a belt the closest thing in my home to a rod is the wooden curtain rod that fell down last year and now leans against my bedroom wall if i hit my child with that it would be abuse and no one would disagree and partly because i try to read the bible with a christotelic hermeneutic of love jesus said let the children come unto me and do not hinder them and love your neighbour as you love yourself and if you did it to the least of these you did it to me if i assume that the words of proverbs are inspired by jesus the living word then i must seek the interpretation that best fits with his life and teachings too many people have been hindered from following christ or knowing his grace fully by the belief that he commands spanking that his grace is not sufficient for the sins of the least of these he will not die prov 23 11 do not withhold discipline from a child if you beat him with the rod he will not die beat him with the rod and save is soul from death the common understanding of this verse is typified in the living bible rendering a spanking won t kill him i want to ask what the above understanding of this verse says about our view of god and our view of our children viz is god s standard for raising children in a godly way not killing them do we really think god will be happy with our discipline if we beat them to within an inch of their lives and as long as we don t kill him our beating will be used by god to save the child from hell what does this verse say if she does die where is jesus who gently laid his hands on the children and blessed them in this interpretation of this verse i believe a truer rendering both closer to the intent of the author and more in line with god s nature is this do not withhold moral education from a child if you drum god s life giving truth into him he will live not die teach him god s wisdom day in and day out and so save him from an early grave share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in uncategorized 1 comment on god our father posted on november 20 2012 by claire my baby turns 10 months old today he has been walking unsteadily for about a week he was taking 2 or 3 steps for a couple of weeks before that last tuesday evening i saw a change in his thinking he chose to walk across a small space where the day before he would have crawled i announced to dh that he was now officially walking and of course even though we ve watched his two older siblings go through the same sequence of development even though all babies do it we were still proud and delighted we grinned at him and each other as if he d aced his final rocket surgery exam instead of something every healthy child masters within their first eighteen months but as far as i know the next day he didn t walk a single step he crawled everywhere was i disappointed no did i love him any less no of course not did i delight in him as much as ever yes indeed i rejoice over him because he is my child i love to watch my children grow and develop but i m happy for them to do so in their own time and their own way e ach faltering step pleases me without by any means implying displeasure at the lack of a step in the same way i believe that god is pleased with each attempt we make to obey him or to honour him stumbling fumbling or outright useless as they may be without suggesting for a moment that he is displeased when we don t make those attempts or when we fail god is love and he loves us outrageously all the time share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in uncategorized tagged baby children father god parenting unconditional love 1 comment myth busting 10 newborns can t smile posted on october 8 2012 by claire my third child now 9 months old was not very happy about being born it was a lovely calm home birth in water according to the rules he should have been calm staring into my eyes with fascination and then when he was ready searching around for his first blissful feed but it was not to be as soon as our midwife lifted him from the pool my beautiful son screamed like a banshee the first thing i said in my exhaustion before i even turned around to look at him was teeny babies aren t supposed to make that sort of noise they re supposed to mew like kittens i d never heard anything like it from a newborn as it turned out this was the first indication of the difficulties we would have with him in that first hour all he wanted to do was snuggle up to me or daddy with his eyes closed and not move if i tried to reposition him slightly so he could reach my nipple he screamed if anyone so much as touched his foot he screamed and when he did finally try to feed i nearly screamed looking back i think he was born with a crick in his neck or some other discomfort in his body and putting his head back properly and opening his mouth wide and putting his tongue forward so he could properly attach to the breast was very uncomfortable for him eventually after a very nasty first week that involved cracked nipples and mastitis we finally found a way to attach so he wasn t doing me damage and was actually milking my breast one of the things we did in that process was to teach him to open is mouth and put his tongue forward on cue by playing an imitating game when he was calm and alert i would say wide mouth and open my own mouth wide and stick my tongue out my baby would copy and i would smile and act excited i started doing this on the advice of an australian breastfeeding association counsellor when he was four days old within a day he had learnt to associate the words wide mouth with the action of sticking is tongue forward with the help of another trick or two he got on the breast properly and my nipples started to heal a couple of days later i saw his first definite smile someone on facebook shared a beautiful photo of a newborn still covered in vernix beaming at the camera you can see the photo here when my facebook friend shared the smiling baby photo it was immediately assumed by commenters to be either photoshopped or wind i m not a good enough judge to say for sure it s not edited but there s no way that smile is wind where would a minutes old baby get wind anyway granted it is rare for a baby to smile this young none of mine did although come to think of it if you don t count the oldest who was born not breathing and ended up spending a couple of days on a ventilator or the youngest who was born screaming then really only the middle one was in a position to smile that early on but she didn t or if she did i didn t recognise it you certainly don t hear of it happening often but why do we think it s impossible it is considered the scientific view but where does it come from in fact according to the book how babies think by developmental psychologists alison gopnik andrew meltzoff and patricia kuhl babies are able to imitate sticking out their tongues and opening their mouths from birth yes the researchers had pagers and ran to the hospital to conduct their research within hours of the birth of their subjects in one case the baby was less than 45 minutes old they say for many years experts who in fact knew nothing systematic about babies took a certain perverse satisfaction in assuring parents that their new babies minds were somewhat less sophisticated than that of a slug babies couldn t really see their smiles were just gas the idea that they recognized familiar people was a fond maternal illusion so why am i raising this on a discipline blog partly because i thought you d like to see the beautiful photo but also because i think it says something about the way we view and therefore treat our children remember in old movies how they always slap the baby at birth to make it cry somehow our culture seems to think it s good for kids to cry from birth but not to smile what does that say about our view of childhood i think it contributes to or comes out of the unspoken belief that children and especially babies are not real people and therefore cannot have real emotions like happiness in fact we sometimes go even further and discount the reality of their negative feelings too as a teenage girl said cheerfully they re made to cry what why why would god make a child with the ability to communicate non existent pain god is not the author of confusion if a baby knit together by god s wisdom in his mother s womb is expressing distress surely we should assume that he is in distress as my story above illustrates a baby who cries is not happy and there is a reason even at birth although there may be no way of knowing what it is or being able to fix it and surely if god or evolution if you prefer has designed our kids with the ability to communicate when things are not right wouldn t it make sense to build in a positive feedback mechanism as well doesn t it just make sense that a newborn should be able to smile and here s a short youtube video of a 1 week old smiling when did your baby first smile share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in uncategorized tagged babies baby children emotions god parenting 15 comments approval ratings posted on august 31 2012 by greenegem good what does that word mean i mean specifically in the phrase good mother or good parent i could look up the definition of the word good and still have no idea what it means to be a good mother i would love to have some sort of system that could accurately measure and give me feedback on my success and progress as a parent sort of a nielsen rating for motherhood and why not after all we all need positive feedback don t we i do it is odd that in everything else i can tell you i am competent or i am not competent and give good and convincing reasons why but here well i feel like a pretty cruddy parent most times here it is maximus first day of school yesterday i feel like i failed entirely to do whatever it is a normal mom would have done for an event of this significance i m pulled in many directions attention divided by school insurance financial aid for college bills pimples you name it minimus oh baby i am so very sorry my baby for how much you have had to navigate this life unaided you are such a remarkable boy and i hope that when you are grown you don t remember me as detached and uninterested i m always so distracted i love you both so very much but am i a good momma maximus had what he needed for school a good lunch appropriate clothes he was clean and had a backpack and a notebook for his teacher to communicate with me he knew it was coming ok i forgot to brush his teeth we were a few minutes late but no one blinked an eye minimus and i walked in with max and my big boy said momma i don t need a hand when i held mine out to him oh i did remember to take his picture well i guess we did ok after all poor minimus started a new care situation many more days than he has ever had to be cared for by someone other than me i feel i have abandoned them both they had a fantastic day so did i then the guilt hit i enjoyed abandoning my babies i was horrified at myself for this now i know i didn t abandon them and i know that if i had i would not have enjoyed it but fear and guilt are irrational things i look at my parenting as always having room for improvement and i am always adding more tools but i get stuck in that self check mode am i an ok mom then it s the end of a badbad day and i am crying to a friend about how differently i should have handled max especially and she says you are good mom no i protest i am a barely adequate mom this afternoon i figured out that what bothers me about being or not being a good mom is that i can not know this about myself there is no way to step outside of myself sufficiently to see that i hate not knowing i wish for my sake and maybe for the boys too because maybe if i knew and was confident i could relax a little i wish parenting had approval ratings gg share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading posted in figuring it out grace based discipline greenegem s story tagged approval ratings baby college bills first day of school good mother maximus minimus nielsen rating tools 5 comments spare the rod harper s bazar 1867 posted on july 30 2012 by barefootbetsy from the november 23 1867 edition of harper s bazar pg 50 spare the rod spare the rod and spoil the child says solomon which the severe interpret to mean literally the laying on of the birch the rattan and the cat o nine tails but which the amiable explain as having merely a figurative signification these humanely say that the wise king understood by the rod a symbol of discipline and in advising that it be not spared in the bringing up of the young meant that they were not to be treated with too much indulgence we confess ourselves in favor of the less rigid interpretation and as altogether opposed to the use of physical violence in any form whatsoever a resort to the rod is the most impotent conclusion of discipline it is a confession of the want of that moral power which the superior in authority should always possess over the subordinate it is the exercise of a physical might which is sure to leave with those who may feel its weight a sense of wrong and oppression neither could be more fatal to the affectionate relations which should always exist between parent and child pupil and teacher and which are so necessary to make the one patient and the other docile a resort to the rod in ninety nine cases out of a hundred is merely an excuse for laziness or impatience without energy or perseverance to pursue a systematic course of moral training the parent or teacher avails himself of the ready resource supplied by his superiority of muscle it is so easy to raise an arm or wield...
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