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always ultimately personal you can t really experience great tides of history in anything other than an abstract sense unless you re affected by them in which case they become personal for those who originally conceived and experienced the perception the newly wrought might be surprised to hear well duh after they outline their thoughts on the matter but this is the digital age when one need no more think of something before it s hurled online at some point usually in your comment section fra sorry still old habits die hard and while one might feel a certain thought is a unique one there is the nagging feeling that it might not be so that others would read your insight and think well duh but the urge to talk goes on and so it s posted anyway so forgive me if this seems pretty damned obvious no no no this isn t like the austrian self sharpening razors no sir no overheating like with the tropical fishes no zizzing and dripping like ersatz brothers coffee and this isn t for me one of those hey i can use my turn signal lights to tell other drivers what i m going to do obviousities that can be slammed to the matt and dismissed for me for you it may be old news but we ll start with me and something i realized a few days ago at work i ve discovered i am pretty darn judgmental and narrow minded aside from the folks who work in my department who i know pretty well everyone else is solely thought of in terms of how they relate to my job let me insert parenthetically you like that don t you that my job is computer support yes i m the one who tells you reboot and try again i m the one who tells you hang on a moment i ll recreate the printer or i ll clear the flags give it a minute and try again or worse if you tell me the system cannot find the drive requested well you don t hear me hurl invective toward the heavens you do hear me say i ll be right there in sum as far as i m concerned you are your computer problems i m using the royal you obviously this is the insight that came to me a few days ago i work at a large 24 7 resort i know my co workers and get on with them fine but for the rest of the staff they are to me how often they call about problems how savvy they can be considered how crucial their problems appear to them and to me i judge them based on how they use their computers not on their appearance their habits their hobbies their friends and families their pets their love of gadgets or what car they drive no no to me they are what kind of pc problems do they have and how often i imagine a lot of personal interaction works this way if you re a doctor or an auto mechanic or a designer other than very good friends the people you know are sorted and arranged according to how they impact on your skills how they use you as a resource as an aside i recall seeing my doctor at a supermarket once i waved and said hi and he got a sick look on his face which seemed to say he s going to ask me about medical problems i didn t of course because the same thing happens to me i hate parties and never go but if i m trapped i hate mentioning my line of work hey you work on pcs well my internet connection seems really slow or i m thinking of buying a laptop what would you recommend or the worst one i bought item known to be a total piece of crap and it doesn t seem to work you can imagine my smile becoming fixed and skull like back to the issue at hand it must be noted that of course the reverse is true as well people look upon you as a resource to be used depending on your skills and their needs this is probably how societies form so and so is a good hunter gatherer what s his face is a good arrowhead maker whosis can talk to the gods pretty well i ll give what s his face a gift basket of various cheeses if he ll make me some new arrowheads meanwhile what s his face looks up to see who s approaching his cave and thinks damn i bet he lost all his arrows again crap looks like another basket of gift cheeses thank goodness the missus likes em this is probably also how societies tend to develop rigid roles for people there are only a few resources to go around so use and access have to be secured through rules fast forward a handful of millennia we ve got specialized positions all over the map people who do things i can t imagine and probably can t spell two of these people meet their respective skills are irrelevant to the other what happens do they have no common ground to interact upon and thus move apart or does this lack of intrinsic need mean they can become best friends i honestly don t know i do know that intertwined spheres of usage can bring people together but the level of usage keeps the relationship from becoming anything other than supply demand there s a limited resource that both are trying to use and the relationship can become one of vying just take a drive and notice how angry you get at the other drivers who aren t going fast enough are hogging the left lane don t use turn signals etc i think this is because we perceive that the resource time on the road is not being used properly by these people we could make much better use if they weren t there also they are jerks on the other hand a lack of commonality two people who are not sharing a resource can make the relationship brief since no common resource can mean no common interest but does it have to the people who have no shared skill range neither needs what the other has how do they come together in the first place pheromones like i said i don t know it may be that i m a right bastard and that is the sole root of the matter what can you do reboot and call back if it s still a problem standard posted by beckoningchasm posted on march 7 2006 posted under creativity painting people and links thoughts and theories comments 4 comments slumbrous despondency cheese extra filthy rotten angel recently posted that she was going to give up blogging or at least give up blogging in the known universe she has i guess reconsidered in the days since her first announcement and has posted a beautiful tribute to a friend who committed suicide i always enjoy reading her work it s heartfelt in a way i can never be i m hoping i m not out of line linking to her here her blog is pretty autobiographical and mine never is so my certainty is uncertain during the days following her announcement i thought about what it is that i do here and why i do it and why i feel less and less like doing it what is the purpose and nature of this thing why do i do this i first signed up for blogger in november of 2004 as i recall it was a whim and one of those everyone else is doing it might as well get one myself things and now that i had it i had no idea what to do with it i d scrawl brief little things and post and go back to work or whatever the first purposeful posting i did was probably the paintblogs these were really a method of cataloguing my creativity trying to fathom why i made the choices that i did when constructing an artwork and it was like a time machine i could see a work in its historical stages as well as the finished product if i d stopped at that stage of the painting and made different choices what artwork would i have and thoughts like that the main thing is it was all for myself after all i d read somewhere that someone starts a blog every forty seconds or so how was anyone going to come across my tiny corner then something weird happened something i never expected to happen i started getting comments people were reading this crap how did they get here i suspect it s the same way i found new blogs the next blog button at the top of the blogger title bar i d done that a number of times myself usually enjoying the various realms i d come across random chance can be fun just ask marcel duchamp in this case it happened to me and whoever stopped by actually read what i was writing of course this changes everything i wasn t just leaving notes to myself i was cough writing for the public it s one thing to write in a diary but quite another to write in a diary knowing you re going to have to read it in front of the class in your underwear too this changes the whole process while i still wrote for myself without a lot of thought whether or not my writing would be useful to anyone else it does change your perspective when you think someone might read this one is more careful with one s phrasing one double checks the spelling and grammar one reads over the prose to make sure that one thought flows smoothly into its fellow i d start to think too that i should update more regularly and that i should have something worthwhile to say worthwhile to whom well why oh i need to write things that are interesting the natural question is well what did you expect blogger is a publicly availably web service and it s available to this public at all times if you want to hide write things on your laptop and keep them there if you want to be a public figure blow the trumpet louder putting things on the internet is like showing up at the school dance while few potential partners look at you twice there is the possibility that someone would ask you to dance with them unlikely sure given the amount of people here but it could happen maybe that s the attraction there s that slight possibility that s why you re there to show that you re placing yourself in public eye and ready to risk after all one of the attractive aspects of other blogs is the ability to leave comments i don t always do so but the fact that i can that i can interact with another person s thoughts is a nice feeling it makes me feel that i do exist and that even though i may not be asked to dance there s always the possibility however slight that it might happen and when it does telling the person you don t know how to dance is really lame if there s no possibility that you re going to dance then you re just going so you can be seen by everyone and that sounds pretty lame too where do i go from here i have no idea i created this painting while thinking about filthy rotten angel s decision wondering about where these events were leading while i find this image pretty disturbing even for my work nonetheless i m dedicating it to her and hoping she won t be a stranger off to my dancing lesson standard posted by beckoningchasm posted on february 27 2006 posted under thoughts and theories comments 4 comments brains in collision watching animals is instructive if you see two strange dogs meet for the first time the meeting is pretty straightforward usually the tails are wagging rapidly but stiffly and the ears are perked up listening intently as the two approach each other what this seems to be saying is i d like to be friends but i m on my guard both dogs understand this state of affairs and eventually with the proper amount of sniffing they usually run off to play together or one of them growls and the other decides if the challenge is worth it when they meet again the body language is much more relaxed and there s an eager energy which says i remember you we played together in both cases what transpires is remarkably straight forward in the world of homo sapiens i don t think we have any equivalents in instant communication and understanding except at the most basic animal level man approaches while pointing gun other man hands over wallet even this though relies on levels of experience i think the main reason for this is that people construct mental environments around each other through which all events pass via a layer of interpretation there is no such thing as a simple word or gesture it all has to be filtered through past experience and best guess scenarios and i think the reason for this is that humans use language as their primary means of conscious communication language is by its very nature imprecise and demands interpretation by the receiving party this interpretation is how language communicates through the creation and usage of shared references as an example take the word apple in english this refers to certain fruits sub word of a certain range of colors sub word that grow on certain trees sub word and have a certain range of flavors sub word if i say would you give me an apple i can imply all these sub words without having to spell each of them out without the word apple i would have to lead you to the tree i was thinking of at which point i might as well get the apple myself by categorizing these fruits as apples we re able to exchange them among each other parallels to the garden of eden unintentional you may get a different mental image than i do when you hear the word apple and you may bring me a green one instead of a red one but we re thinking of approximately the same thing this use of language to categorize has no doubt helped us to create societies since it was now possible to arrange common experiences with speed and efficiency in fact we could now create common experiences through language with people who had never had the experience we did this through description story telling instruction and so on we could even leave concrete records of experiences so that others could share them long after we were dust humans are fascinated with collecting and codifying our experiences blogging is but the latest manifestation and to our knowledge we re the only species that does at least in forms we recognize through the shaping of artifacts it s possible other species keep histories in ways we have yet to discover which means we may not be as unique as we like to think but i digress with the ability to share experiences with those who did not experience them comes another possibly darker ability to choose the means by which we present those experiences one can be straightforward and use simple description or one can emphasize de emphasize aspects shift details employ different words metaphors and otherwise change the impact of the experience both for the listener and the teller by shaping the narrative one can call this a form of refined interpretation since it uses choice to distill the essence of the experience down to its basic form as it relates to us rather than as a free standing collection of facts rather than a simple description of events the record now becomes a tool by which we can convey what we wish to convey to another using the experience what might be said to be the lesson to be learned from the experience and we ve moved from factual description into interpretation when we hear someone use the word apple it s no longer an isolated term now it has to be centered in a context does the person speaking like apples dislike apples want an apple or have an apple to sell the word no longer has an objective meaning in relation to the world we inhabit it s surrounded by a host of sub words memories expectations and other intangibles it s no longer about the term it s about the web of interpretation through which all communication passes communication itself becomes secondary and interpretation becomes the primary information p...
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