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description= I m Patty, and my husband and I are living with our adult son who has autism and epilepsy. I love sharing lessons learned from life around me, especially life with Aaron.;
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Text of the page (random words):
udden emotions i did know though that this was our first test and as aaron and i talked i also knew that if i caved i wouldn t be allowing the staff both at this group home and at his day group the opportunity to handle this problem going against my mother s heart i encouraged him to let the staff help him even as i tried hard to swallow the lump in my throat i could not let aaron sense that i was upset he protested even as i portrayed over the phone my confidence that he would be fine fake confidence honestly not that i don t trust the staff at his home and day group they are wonderful but letting go of aaron like this is hardest on me my phone soon rang again one of the staff was asking in the background where aaron s clean sheets were i could hear her and others comforting aaron as they assured him that they were there to help they changed his sheets and took care of everything at paradigm his day group the nurse gave aaron some medicine and let him stay in her building for awhile he called later and sounded much better he even went on the outing that day and had a good time i understand that the pull of home hits aaron at times especially when he s physically struggling that pull affects me even harder because it hits my mama heart i must go against my instincts but i know it s best for aaron in the long term to learn that his staff will now care for him during these times he s not the only one who needs to see this i do as well it would have been easier at home yes but would not have been the best decision talking about this first test still makes me cry but i also know that we passed the test not only because of the caring staff supporting aaron but also because of our caring god who is walking beside us at each step and because of each of you who are praying and lifting us up thank you so very much author patty hesaidwhatks posted on august 17 2026 august 17 2026 categories adult autism blessings caregiving epilepsy faithfulness god s care special needs adults trust 23 comments on aaron s move it s easier there aaron s move i wish you were young aaron is nearing one week of living in his new group home he has done amazingly well yes he has asked if he could come home to stay on friday he called early to tell me that he didn t want to go to his day group he wanted someone to come and stay with him there i told him he couldn t do that and he was not very happy about that reality but the wonderful house staff as well as the staff at his day group helped work him through it and he had a good day our sweet neighbors went to visit him yesterday afternoon aaron was so surprised and happy today our daughter and her family went to see aaron he was super excited about that ryker and cora got to see unkie aaron and his new room aaron was able to do his favorite thing sharing snacks with ryker and cora thursday aaron and i went to deliver for meals on wheels he got to tell all our dear clients about his new house we went to walmart and out to lunch aaron was happy that dad joined us back at home he got one of dad s great haircuts and shaves i trimmed his nails and we watched hudson and rex when aaron had gotten in the car that morning the first thing he asked was if he could stay at home and not go back to his group home but by the time his show was over he was ready to go back to his new room and to see victoria we were so relieved and so very proud of aaron yet there are glimpses of sadness that he shows us as he adjusts to missing us and missing his home his old life his friends here in the neighborhood and in the stores we have frequented for years we got aaron a phone and on the first day he had it a friend showed him how to facetime before we could do that he s loving it he and i were on facetime last night mom he said you look old like an old lady good old honest aaron well i said as i laughed i am old aaron i wish you were young he flatly added then i wouldn t have to be here that was a gut punch for me you see for a couple years we have been trying to prepare aaron for the fact that someday he would need to move he didn t like talking about that and would ask us why we would make him leave one reason we gave him was that we were not getting any younger and wouldn t always be able to care for him he knows how to touch the deep places in our hearts without really planning to do that he s just very honest with what he s seeing and thinking and that one that really hit hard i stumbled around saying something that i hoped was encouraging as i blinked back tears i didn t want him to see i realize how fragile i am aaron too and gary s been hurting in a way that s new to him he told me that even though we ve known for all these years about aaron s handicap now we see it differently and more clearly than ever we see it in a way that shows how vulnerable aaron is and how this huge change has rocked his stability and his comfort we feel responsible for that but we also knew that this was a decision that would ultimately need to be made one day it s just that we ve made sure aaron was well cared for in every way for nearly 42 years now he sees us as being the reason he had to move and leave us and everything he loves that s a heart wrenching load to carry right now we know that all these feelings will ease with time for us and we pray they ease for aaron as well he really is happy where he is and we are very pleased with his progress this week but we can t turn off our love for him and our concern that he knows we have not abandoned him we have shown him perhaps in the greatest way ever how deep our love is for him as we have given him a future that won t depend on us being around forever he ll probably never fully understand that until the time we re all together in heaven and guess what aaron i won t ever be an old lady again author patty hesaidwhatks posted on august 9 2026 categories adult autism caregiving epilepsy love special needs adults 21 comments on aaron s move i wish you were young aaron s move don t disappoint me monday night was aaron s first night in his new home and our first night without him in our home i woke up tuesday morning unplugged my phone to take with me and automatically reached for aaron s baby monitor old habits die hard fresh tears came quickly i had been out of bed less than a minute when i was hit full force with the reality that aaron wasn t here that i didn t need the baby monitor with me to listen for seizures then i checked my phone and saw that i had missed a call from aaron his house has a phone and i hadn t heard his call i felt so terrible but then he called again and i quickly answered he sounded good though tired he immediately asked when he could come home for a visit i asked no he answered to stay i felt my heart being ripped out again as i told him that he couldn t stay but that we would see him on thursday for meals on wheels and lunch then he asked if gary and i could come over to his house that afternoon for a visit we were leery of visiting so soon worried that it would upset him and he wouldn t want us to leave without him aaron i said we re afraid you ll want to come home with us and you ll be upset no he insisted i won t ask to come home please don t disappoint me and there went my heart and my tears which i tried hard to hide from aaron in my voice gary and i talked about it and prayed about whether we should go see aaron so soon we needed to get him a phone and we would have to show him how to use it so we made the decision to go and trust the lord to let it be a good visit we pulled up in the driveway and soon aaron burst out the front door hey he yelled hey we yelled back then came hugs and huge smiles and lots of talking he was so happy to see us and we were the same victoria was thrilled to see us too she stayed right there with us in aaron s room it was honey this and honey that as she talked to aaron the visit was great aaron would rush in and out of his room as he talked to the staff my mom said to tell you he would tell them or my mom wanted to know no i didn t i would add they re getting to know aaron as we left aaron gave us more hugs but didn t ask even once if he could come home gary and i drove home feeling huge relief and joy god gave us a very sweet gift yesterday despite our concern it felt so good that we didn t disappoint aaron and even better that god didn t disappoint us this morning in my study of psalms i read chapter 6 i am weary with my sighing every night i make my bed swim i dissolve my couch with my tears my eye has wasted away with grief for the lord has heard the voice of my weeping the lord has heard my supplication the lord receives my prayer prayer doesn t change things but prayer lays hold of god who changes things and who in prayer changes you dale davis this is such an important truth for those who are believers sometimes the biggest change that comes when i pray isn t that god changes my situation it s that he changes me as i submit to his will and his plan even if i can t see it or i see it and don t like it he honors my trust in him by giving me incredible peace and strength sometimes our prayers are the sound of weeping that s all we can muster god can even make out what your tears long for dale davis god doesn t even need our words he just wants our trust and as i experience god s presence and peace i can t help but praise him for that i looked out my favorite upstairs window last night once again god didn t disappoint his artistry was a beautiful ending to our day and the artistry of his peace for us as we see his care for aaron and his soothing of our broken hearts is also a beautiful thing to see author patty hesaidwhatks posted on august 5 2026 categories adult autism answered prayer burdens epilepsy god s care peace special needs adults trials trust 21 comments on aaron s move don t disappoint me aaron s move do i have to go today was moving day for aaron as he transitions to living in a special needs group home gary and i have worked all week on his new room on saturday we took him to see his room and to show him everything he was excited and had an ear to ear smile as he walked in his nearly finished room it helped that victoria was there too and squealed with joy at every drawer that we opened and especially at the fun snacks we put into aaron s snack baskets but as the weekend wound down we could also tell that aaron was getting more apprehensive he saw his life changing as his bedroom at home became emptier and a strange room in another house now held his special things this morning on the monitor i heard aaron awake it was way before 5 00 he was rustling things walking up and down the stairs took a shower and even took his pills way too early it was all way too early he opened our bedroom door several times to see if i was awake finally as i faked sleep he spoke to me and asked if he could have his coffee there was nothing to do but get his coffee and face whatever would come on this very sad morning i put his coffee on his nightstand mom he said as i stood by his bed do i have to go he was looking straight into my eyes focused and unwavering god held back my tears as i answered him yes aaron you have to go i told him with as much love as i could but my tears flowed as i walked back to the bedroom and sat down at my desk this feels like betrayal of our special aaron but we know that we are only doing what is best for him sometimes what is best is not at all what is easiest god has so definitely opened this door for us and we knew we should walk through it later aaron began bringing me items from his room that he wondered if he could take his ty stuffed animals his slippers his pajamas he had just worn his special pillows i had dreaded our last drive to paradigm his day group dreaded seeing him leave but he wanted to go with me to carly s office where he was met with big smiles and high fives and where carly took this picture of me and aaron i drove home comforted and tear free and so aware of god s grace and of all the many family and friends who were praying for us today we got several pictures of aaron and victoria today huge smiles on their faces gary and i finished his room today we will still hang some things on his walls and are waiting on his new bed to come aaron rode to his group home with his housemates he called us tonight and we were like parents excited to hear from their child at camp or at college but then he asked us why we made him leave we explained it yet again while feeling like we had abandoned him we know better and we hope aaron does but oh it hurts right now the tears come and go for me and gary lots of tears but being in god s will doesn t mean we won t have tears it does mean that god will hold our hands and comfort our broken hearts just a bit ago i honestly thought i heard aaron say mom but his room here is empty he has a new room and a new life yet we will always be his caregivers even though from a distance now others will take over roles we have always held and we pray they care for him well we know god will and for that we are very thankful author patty hesaidwhatks posted on august 4 2026 august 4 2026 categories adult autism answered prayer caregiving epilepsy god s care special needs adults 27 comments on aaron s move do i have to go aaron s move battle of the books the day of aaron s move to a group home is drawing near he will be moving on monday august 3 it s still hard to believe we re really doing this aaron continues to talk excitedly about moving to anyone who will listen or to anyone who might pause near him in a store aisle or to anyone whom he thinks he might know even if he doesn t if you see us out and about in the next few days you might want to hide unless you have extra time to listen to aaron talk all about moving but aaron is also showing some concerns about this huge change in his life he s been talking more this week about missing us when he leaves and about not wanting to leave his room some of his increased concerns are no doubt because we have started moving some of his things over to his group home aaron loves his handy answer books i counted 31 of those books he has had them stacked in a very high pile beside his bed he won t hear of any better ideas for their storage so his mountain of books has stayed there and has grown even taller with each new book a couple days ago i put the books in three baskets and carried them to our kitchen where i put them on our kitchen table bench waiting to be taken to his new room i picked him up from his day group that afternoon he hurried inside and by the time i walked in the house the books were not on the bench i knew exactly where they would be sure enough quick as a flash he had put the books beside his bed where to him they belong at least they were still in the baskets hey aaron i said i had those books downstairs so that we can take them to your new room tomorrow well i m not moving tomorrow he quickly responded i...
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