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rint opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured a day in the life of an old retired rat hunter featured phil strawn 22 comments as some of you know i had and now still have a rodent rat mouse or something more vile living within the depths of my wife momo s favorite thing her hot tub we ve removed most of the foam from inside found the tubes the little critter chewed to obtain water and have a friend who is a plumber who plans to replace the damaged parts in a week or so now the hantavirus or the black plague is going around good lord almighty another pandemic mouse poop is going to wipe out the country those folks on that tour ship must have ingested some in their ceaser salad while gorging at the buffet there is a substantial amount of rat poop inside the hot tub so there must be more than one possibly a family with relatives i did the inhumane unthinkable and poisoned the little rat with some guaranteed tasty and effective bait yesterday he was lying down breathing hard and in a spot i could reach with my wife s martha stewart cooking tongs i figured he was about to go to ratland so i would wait out the expiration but this morning he or she has vanished it s unlikely a rat rapture happened so he is either deeper in the tub or has crawled away to croak in a more natural and serene setting in the woods that surround my home my cousin and i used to sit in my grandparents barn and shoot the rats with our daisy bb guns killing a few now and then but developing a keen eye for shooting fast moving targets now i m back to square one find the rat dig more foam put on a hazmat suit and finish vacuuming up the foam pieces and the rat poop i m seriously considering having someone haul the tub away rat and all or purchasing a 410 shotgun and gettin er done i share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured ask a texan what will allah have for the terrorist when they get to his place featured phil strawn 7 comments sometimes correct but snarky advice for those who seek it this iranian fellow sent me an email ranting and raving about what the us is doing to his country i asked him why he was here in the us he says he didn t feel safe over there anymore and besides he can get almost everything for free over here he also said he is considering wrapping himself in explosives and blowing up a quick trip gas station or a 7 11 he wants to go to allah s heaven in the worst way so he can get his 72 or so virgins i took him seriously so i alerted the two businesses i also sent him a picture of what to really expect when he gets there i also sent him a bible and a box of cherry bombs wrapped in melted chocolate share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured ask a texan ozempic is a pain in the butt featured phil strawn 13 comments real good advice for folks that don t have any brain cells left the texan this texan received a request for help written on the back of a walmart bag the new ones made from paper mr weemus weesley of sore rabbit foot south dakota says his wife is abusing ozempic in the worst way possible mr weesley mr texan there ain t nobody in our town that knows nothing about nothing my wife luella is a bit overweight well some folks say she just has big bones but she is honestly just a bit overweight as are most women her age during menopause most of the weight is in her buttocks i had to butter up the door jambs to the bathroom just so she could get in there for a shower her doctor gave her a script for this new weight loss stuff ozempic but she is deathly afraid of needles and passes out after i give her the first jab some influencer on social media said she could inject this stuff into a blueberry and put it up her behind like a suppository so she tried it it was working for a while and she wasn t eating two gallons of blue bunny ice cream a day but then she stopped losing weight everywhere except in her buttocks and her hands and her feet and now the rest of her is still a bit heavy but her ass feet and hands are the size of a little kid s she s going through two or three pounds of blueberries a week and now i don t have any to put in my yogurt and she has this little gimlet ass hands and feet about the size of our six year old granddaughters who refuses to come visit because luella looks like some weird alien from those 1950s scary shows she s so freaky looking i can t even take her to walmart at midnight when no one is there except folks in their jammies any ideas on this one the texan well mr weesley i m almost out of words on this one i ve seen the pictures of the hollywood crowd and they all look like the night of the living dead staggering around with folks helping them to walk this might be a good movie for her to watch i believe it s on amazon take those ozempic pens and squish all the juice out then fill them with liquid miralax and change her ice cream to bluebell she might still be a bit overweight but she ll be regular and happy this is just a phase these women are going through oprah will look like her old chubby self once she stops the ozempic i m sending you a case of liquid miralax and some cherry bombs just to cheer you up share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured the light crust doughboys are on the air featured phil strawn 17 comments one hundred fifty years of texas music back in 1985 my father s band the light crust doughboys recorded an album that was meant to focus on texas music some present mostly passed country music wasn t invented in fort worth texas but western swing was bob wills started as a light crust doughboy as did most of the great talent from the 1930s onward i was fortunate to have known every man on this record for my entire life the members on this album were jim boyd vocals and rhythm guitar jerry elliot vocals and electric guitar my father johnny strawn fiddle electric mandolin and vocals bill simmons keyboard elden graham stand up bass marc jaco electric bass maurice anderson pedal steel guitar dale cook drums phil strawn five string banjo and gary murray announcer the album was recorded at sumet burnet sound studios in dallas texas in april of 1985 recording engineers were bob sullivan and bobby dennis it was produced by marvin montgomery songs on the album in order are side one 1 the light crust doughboy theme song 2 the yellow rose of texas 3 when the bloom is on the sage 4 texas in my soul 5 beautiful texas 6 waiting for a train 7 old joe clark with myself on five string banjo and my father on fiddle 8 tumbling tumble weeds 9 you re from texas composed by the legendary cindy walker side 2 1 if you re gonna play in texas you gotta have a fiddle in the band 2 amarillo by morning 3 across the alley from the alamo 4 in the mood done the texas western swing way 5 does fort worth evdr cross your mind 6 sure nuf texan 7 texas when i die 8 closing radio them the song the band has always used since their inception in the early 1930s they are inductees into the western swing hall of fame and the rockabilly hall of fame and are part of the country and western hall of fame chet atkins always decided who would be inducted i traveled with these men for many miles driving their van loading and setting up their equipment and playing bass guitar and banjo when one of them was ill and couldn t make the show smokey montgomery made me an official member of the band in 1984 which was the greatest honor any musician could dream of the one cut from the album included in this post features my father fiddle and me five string banjo playing the old 1800s standard old joe clark with the rest of the light crust doughboy band we may grow old and die but our music lives on forever share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured ask a texan are we real or just the product of ai featured phil strawn 8 comments the texan i read x twitter and sometimes post on there i also have a notesfromthecactuspatch on facebook so i visit that site once in a while what bothers me nowadays well every day 24 7 is the amount of false information on all the social media sites nothing is confirmed and any dipwad with an account can put out any form of disinformation they dream up and folks believe it as gospel does king charles hate trump doubt it does the pm of italy hate him i doubt that one too so who and what do we believe the msm legacy media is so full of crap you can t believe anything on the evening news not even on fox or newsmax so where does that leave us people who actually know how to read a newspaper and decipher the real world from the world of ai which wordpress uses a lot for spelling and punctuating ai scares me because not only does it know more than i do but also because so much of it is incorrect this post is not intended to be funny but seriously worrisome i ll check back with ya ll later have a good day and ask grok to cook you a good supper the texan share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured the old fiddle featured phil strawn 30 comments johnny strawn on the left and bob will on the right the sunset ballroom early 1950s i was born into music the way some children are born into weather something that surrounds them before they have words for it long before my hands were big enough to hold a wooden neck or find a note on a steel string the sound was already there drifting through the rooms like a ghostly wind a man doesn t choose a life like that he s shaped by it the way wind shapes a tree on an open plain our home pulsed with music not a 78 rpm record on a victrola but real instruments played by men some would become mentors lifelong friends and a few i would help carry to their final rest my hand supporting their coffin it seemed they were always there a few feet away or on the front porch and around the kitchen table drinking coffee smoking cigarettes and playing music my younger sister and i thought it was all quite normal but it was anything but my father carried his fiddle the way working men carry their tools worn smooth by sweat and nights on the road tuned by the laughter and sorrow of dance halls from fort worth to nashville springfield tulsa and to abilene and then on to california he played with the great ones the ones whose names still hang in the air like smoke bob wills and the texas playboys willie nelson and paul english milton brown cliff bruner adolph hoffner bill and jim boyd smokey dacus jake ghoul artie glenn ray chaney smokey montgomery jerry elliot bill hudson red foley grady martin roger miller ted daffan lefty frizzell hank garland and the light crust doughboys those bands were more than music they were a kind of moving tribe stitching the country together one dusty town at a time and my father stood among them bow in hand drawing out the heartbeat of the west he wasn t a big man in stature but when he drew that bow across those strings he stood as tall as iowa corn but the story didn t start with him it ran back through my grandfather john henry strawn and further still to my great grandfather marion strawn men who bent their backs to the land by day and lifted their spirits with a fiddle by night in those days a tune wasn t entertainment it was survival a way to keep the darkness from settling too heavily on a man s shoulders my grandfather in his younger days was a cowboy but was always that campfire fiddler with a tune poised on his fingertips as was his father so of course i was born into it the first instrument wasn t wood or wire but a small blue baby rattler the kind a child shakes without knowing he s keeping time with the world i still have it tucked away in a box along with those tiny shoes from the little texan shop in fort worth 1945 leather soft as memory soles barely scuffed by the earth my aunt norma told me my feet didn t touch solid ground until i was three or so proof that even then before you coul...
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