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description= Wildbow discusses writing;
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it s on me that it happened it s on me in a similar fashion that i had a lot of lesbian relationships with power imbalances sometimes predatory or abusive in this case it s less that i m drawing characters from a deck and more that i tend to find the power imbalances in relationships to be one of the more inherently interesting parts of relationships and as such most relationships i write play into that whether it s carol and mark defiant and dragon assault and battery sy and his partners or parian and foil but by making it most of my characters lesbian relationships when it s a thing in media is playing into a bad meta narrative regardless of the non lesbian context the suicide reading of the last meta arc of the story was another thing that got past me i ve gone into it in some detail in other discussions and the long and short if it is i expected it to take very little time in story where readers were left holding the impression it was sacrifice or genocide just to give the decision some weight and then it took about 4x the anticipated amount of time and conveyed the wrong messages readers were left with the impression it was a prolonged bout of intentional author induced confusion playing with a really fucking heavy subject when what i really wanted to do was touch on the notion of heroic sacrifice and what it really means to ask that of heroes with their journeys and stories sometimes unfinished i thought the natalie chapter ending would be the capstone to a downer chapter where people went oh it s not suicide and that whiffed it didn t work the way i wanted it to and so it was just three more days of wait for a resolution to that plot followed by pure downer followed by another four days of wait fuck all i can say is fuck me feel miserable that i let stuff slip by and try to watch out in the future it s tough there are a lot of things i could divert some of the blame to and those things have come up in my prior discussions in chats and reddit threads at the end of the day though it s my story and my responsibility to watch out for that stuff but considering everything makes it heavier and harder to put the words down and that requires effort and consideration that then isn t going to other things it s very possible i can t please everyone and very possible that because i m an awkward guy who barely socialized for a third of his life i m always going to miss something in saying that i by no means want to excuse fucking up or contributing to a prejudiced meta narrative i really really don t but i worry i can t cover and consider every base i worry that there s always going to be people who are 100 valid in being vocally frustrated about my having missed stuff and it s always going to be disheartening when i drop the ball on something people hold close to their hearts to their identities or when i walk away from a story with a sentiment mine or others that something could have been better or more fleshed out it gets tougher still when i m not writing one story but two i m trying to engage the people who are reading along giving them food for thought and stuff to talk about in the days between chapters and i m trying to write for the people who binge i m approaching every sentence asking myself what the catch is what s the point where people get confused every single romance scene i write i get people saying it s creepy most combat scenes i write i get people who are lost about x y or z so i approach each new one with a mindset that i want to be better but that requires effort and it requires consideration if i write a b or c is it going to be misinterpreted if i create a character and they re m n or o is that offensive am i retreading old ground am i essentially writing a character i ve written before that someone else has written before how can x z m o a and b tie into themes or the work as a whole is this interesting does it make sense from a setting or character perspective what s the overall audience mood like going in coming out even the little letters i put for interludes get hundreds of lines of discussion and complaining each a single letter the chapter s not even written as anything except some broad notes on a lined post it note and already there s ten different things to think about as i have daystar 21 _ written and i m left to figure out what _ should be every sentence gets heavier there s a reason chapters take me 20 30 hours to write when they used to take me 8 15 which i guess is where i m supposed to go back to my thesis here what s the big takeaway what s the lesson or what are the lessons i need to learn lessons at the end of the day i think i made a mistake when i thought of the context lens of creating as an irl thing the audience itself is a key aspect of it and it s one i think i neglected that is not to say i m going to go into the more fang y parts of the fandom and let the more negative voices have at me and it doesn t mean i have any intentions regarding trying to change the audience and saying this is really tricky and is where again i have to stress this is about my own decisions and thought processes no i think it s ultimately about the choices i make the responsibility i take and the lens through which i approach and view fandom on the author audience side of things the only thing i can and should try to change is the author myself i ve had a lot of conversations in recent weeks where people will say i should stop listening to fans i also have people leaders of sub communities where my work is a dominant topic of conversation saying or implying i should be more mindful of fans of the idea that i m disenfranchising them or giving fuel to the more negative voices at the end of the day though i think the point an author stops listening and trying to grow is a sad day as part of the discourse around this i ve heard that some individual readers may feel they can t criticize without adding to the negative buzz surrounding the broader audience i don t think this is a problem though i think isn t should that broader audience be navigated around but how that there was negative noise around the early arcs wasn t the fault of the audience rather i ve got to figure out ways to do that navigating and figure out how to take that sentiment and work with it without dropping parts of the story or getting too mired in it all because the reality is that noise will always be a thing you can t create online and ignore it trying just screws up the online part of it or even worse it screws up the create part of it an initial takeaway here is that doing that navigating while carrying an epic story and carrying a sequel is hard if not impossible at least at my current skill level in the current dynamic solution i m going to be doing a series of shorter works for a bit i think less totality to consider less investment required from both me and the audience more room to experiment and explore and hopefully it s a bit of a break i need to consider the author audience text triangle where each of the three things interacts with the other two what am i doing with a work how can i broadcast what that work is sometimes i just have to be more explicit that applies to the story points too there were too many points where i approached writing the story with a different audience than the one i had i d write something intended as an invitation for the audience to react respond and draw what i felt was a singular conclusion rain pointed at her and the de facto response from sub communities was confusion and frustration at a cliffhanger and theories all over the place natalie at the end of the story getting the fob i thought it d land one way and didn t consider it would be dismissed in an ideal world i should have learned the lesson from the first instance by and large that s not the audience i have and expecting them to sit down and draw the correct conclusions isn t fair gotta be more explicit in the next story i m hoping to draw on other material to help make things more explicit there are also some gut feelings i had along the way when dealing with the problematic parts of the author audience stuff i felt bad dropping the therapy from the story and letting it become something problematic and toxic when that went against why i brought it in in the first place i told myself i d fix it later it was the easiest thing to cut when i wanted to move things forward more aggressively i thought i d explain it at various points but therapists are human too wasn t the message i wanted to send going in i should have listened to that niggling feeling if i had i think i d feel happier about aspects of the story i also need to tighten things up i think part of what i do when i m feeling the weight of things is i branch out or i include more fluff background or side characters because that s easy and fun but fluff can look like a thread to pull to the audience or it can be something they find adorable and then i m sorta obligated to do something with it or it s a background element or a note of something thematic and readers may think it s more important than it was originally meant to be withdrawal s molluscoid trigger background for example to expand on that a serial is always going to be a serial i like sprawl and i like there being a rich background of diverse characters who could each have a story told about them i d hate to write something where the wordcounts and threads are so trimmed down that a gun that gets a passing mention has to be used where everything is relevant or discarded but there s a middle ground and i created more headaches and noise for the audience than i needed to which may have contributed to the fatigue and the dynamic where people weren t really engaging with cliffhangers or trying to look deeper when i d thought i d invited them to two years of material and a lot of fluff and it s a lot to sift past if one wants to figure something out which might be a good conclusion for this section a serial is going to be a serial i can t get too down on myself when i m creating what is essentially a shitton of sprawling material on a quick schedule most of it first draft thoughts verdicts i don t hate ward big question mark there maybe in the end as much as this ended up being a fairly deep dive into what i think went wrong and why and ways in which i can address that moving forward i don t want to dwell purely on the negative here i m happy with where i went with the characters i m pretty attached to this cast of characters and side characters i m really happy with some of their interludes i didn t want to tell a story where everyone started and ended their character journeys in a super neat and tidy way and i like where the characters stand as of the story s conclusion some have more work to do and i think that s entirely okay i m generally happy with where i went thematically i am aware there s the shadow of the suicide interpretation hanging over the last leg of the story but early responses from binge readers who ve caught up seem to be more positive over it and it may be something that just read really badly when reading the story on a twice a week schedule but comes across better in a shorter timeframe i m kind of interested in where reader perception will stand a year from now i made some cool powers i wrote some really fun side characters and i think i d like to do something smaller with some of those side characters in the future will have to see what form that takes ward overall feels like the story i d most want to go back to and edit there were a lot of subtle points where i missed the mark with hints and cliffhangers meant to invite thought and discussion that didn t achieve their goals the ramifications of those individual things was pretty massive and i d be interested to see the reception to the story if and when they were tuned to do what they were supposed to in the first place some parts to be trimmed down some minor bits of fluff trimmed out some foreshadowing and thematic beats hit but i digress as much as i want to see where audience perception will stand a year from now i don t want to come to a firm verdict on the story just yet i have a tendency to be pretty hard on my stories when they ve just finished and i m exhausted from 1 3 years spent writing them and i don t know that i want to do that here maybe i ll do another post a year out when i ve thought on this some more my next project is codenamed project p and has launched as of tuesday may 5th 17 comments october 17 2017 an end to the twig experiment i set out to write twig with a few ideas in mind a major criticism as i wrote pact was that the pacing was too intense and that the character relationships were lacking i set out to write twig in a deliberate attempt to force myself to slow down and pace things out and in an attempt to dwell on characters there were a few other things which i ll touch on here as i decided to approach things from that angle of testing myself forcing myself out of the comfort zone i d perhaps settled into with late worm pact to good and bad results both i took on a slightly more unique genre as well it was very much i ll admit me taking stock and deciding i was in a position to take a few risks to not make the gamble would risk me settling into a rut to take the risk meant alienating readers with that in mind i m exceedingly grateful to those who stuck with me through twig what succeeded in this gamble first and foremost i learned a crapton to a degree i wouldn t have if i d gone on to write worm 2 or something in the vein of pact some of those lessons were painful some weren t i learned a lot about pacing i think there s a lot to be gained by pacing out a story and giving it breathing room i saw where there was room to explore characters and inter character relationships i also think that the pacing of twig wasn t quite the balance that s best suited for me as a writer i struggled more to keep things afloat and maintain the narrative threads it was very easy for arcs to simply sprawl out into twice the length i would ve normally maintained once i d relaxed the patterns and things that would ve normally kept it tighter and more intense more on that in a short bit i forced myself out of my comfort zone in the writing of humor i ve long held the idea that humor is hard to do well because it lands differently for different readers i liked a lot of the humor i wrote in twig i pushed myself when it came to the banter in particular and i like 95 of it it was fun and fulfilling to write even when it was about stupid stuff and i want to write more in the future i forced myself way out of my comfort zone in the writing of romance and intimate stuff similar deal to the writing of humor but with the added awkwardness that family members read my stuff hi uncle if you made it this far and the fact it s so damn personal y know some of my favorite chapters are ones to do with romance and intimacy in its various forms an...
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