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johnozed he s a brawling sprawling giant on the make for fame and fortune and then some skip to content johnozed he s a brawling sprawling giant on the make for fame and fortune and then some menu home pam 1 reply tuesday in august it is the 11th day things are quiet at the fruit stand as usual the main fruit stand is understaffed so much so that yancy who has returned from a family visit sent me a slack and wondered if i was busy because to yancy it did not seem like i was doing any work today if yancy would take a minute and check the folder he would see a good number of fruit stand requests have been filled by yours truly it was off putting for my supervisor to claim i was not working yancy talks about a two hour window to fulfill these requests but more often than not they are completed minutes after receiving them at 8am i am generally starting before janis violet kimberly and start filling the requests that come in after 5pm i try to get in before 8am and when i am at the main fruit stand i notice that others are not in until after 8am except for maybe violet who is a contracted employee just like me not a full time employee like janis or kimberly or mr kool aid himself yancy yancy is almost always in when i get in at my fruit stand i usually have 10 20 minutes of getting the day started at the main fruit stand the day starts at 8am i have to admit it pissed me off yancy thinking i was not doing anything i also have to remember not to trust anyone jimmy chile is trustworthy and perhaps a few others but overall i am not sure beyond jimmy chile pam pam is a cooking spray that came out in the 1970s it was created so that food won t stick to the pan when cooking my mother refused to buy it she found out at work from lucy ardizzone or barbara deluca that kids where huffing cans of pam and getting high i had never heard of it and never had an inkling to do such a thing she listened to these women as they did their business in the ladies room of the hbj warehouse presently i am in the midst of an online discussion with mike his beloved wade needed 40 and mike asked if i could wire it i did i figured that wade would pay back once he got his money but wade sent the money to mike who has it in his wallet and has been unable to get it back to me due to his parole officer i expressed how dumb this whole thing was wade should have just rewired the money back to me but no it got stupid and mike is all i can t deal with you right now it got worse from there i do feel like a sucker when i had those feelings for mike back then i went out of my way to make him happy those feelings subsided and i still did things that were somewhat extraordinarily kind and i never really got anything in return not that i was looking for it but it did not go unnoticed especially in moments like i find myself in now mike just brought up the incompatibility of gemini him and virgo me he believes that and i do not why bother continuing this friendship i ll leave that on him this entry was posted in hopelessly banal with a slathering of ennui on august 11 2026 by johnozed other people s notes dreams 1 reply art of noise peter gunn is playing and i am transported back to when i was a friday night barback at maxwell s with declan and martha over 40 years ago i remember declan digging the art of noise cover featuring duane eddy those were happy innocent days i barbacked for about a year eventually my back was telling me it was time to stop the last time i saw christine kincaid was when i barbacked she grew up down riverview avenue from me her father had quite a handsome marlboro man friend who i could not stop looking at growing up how i wanted to make love to him me being 14 and him being in his 30s christine loved peter frampton and saw him at madison square garden the night before i did she also saw the sgt pepper movie which i still have never gotten around to i have to admit i was embarrassed to be merely washing glasses and was stocking beers and was slightly relieved when she left with who i guessed was her boyfriend christine died shortly thereafter from ovarian cancer i believe i enjoyed working with declan and martha and though it didn t start there my predilection for putting white powder up my nose snowballed at that time i had a crush on martha so beautiful and strong it seemed to me i loved it when a customer would ask for a coors beer and martha would reply that they do not serve fascist beer there as i said my barback time was limited i eventually worked more in the backroom as a dj and a doorman my brother frank asked both steve and mary fallon to keep an eye on me so that i wouldn t misbehave or get into trouble little did he know my first night working at maxwell s mary fallon sliced open her hand when cutting open a roll from marie s bakery that was my introduction eventually i became part of the family collapsing in a heap after the bands had packed up and customers thrown onto the street i was part of two separate sections the front room and the back room 40 years ago so mike called me up yesterday he was not around this weekend due to his new parole officer telling him to remain where he was we texted and talked on the phone instead yesterday he called me after waking up from a nap he was near tears after a dream that he had in the dream it was mike and me and someone that wasn t bill the other guy was black in the dream i started singing angrily and fully i want to know what love is by foreigner according to mike a woman started shouting i was going viral a man told me he understood where i was coming from the viral woman was maternal and gave me a hug only a mother could give i spent a few years at right track recording with the gold record of foreigner for i want to know what love is behind me i knew it was there but i only saw it when the day started i rarely turned around to look at the wall now the disc the wall and right track recording are gone meanwhile at the fruit stand with marcus departure a void is created it s odd him not being here jimmy chile has been telling me tales out of school how this one needs to be watched and not to trust that one while i am at it i ve been here for a little over a year at the fruit stand i am comfortable and perhaps i have forgotten that it can all be taken away from me in the blink of an eye it seems a few of us received notes from mark as he did his irish exit i don t know what other people s notes have said and i choose to read mark s note to me as encouraging and a heads up of sorts this entry was posted in shed a tear on august 10 2026 by johnozed post navigation older posts meta log in entries feed comments feed wordpress org august 2026 s m t w t f s 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 jul recent posts pam other people s notes dreams au revoir marcus fragile ego antler dance recent comments johnozed on pam johnozed on other people s notes dreams johnozed on au revoir marcus 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