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d later still we found the father of the seven ducklings who had gotten lost further along the river jesus is concerned with the whole of us not just parts of us he wants us to love the world god has given us and to find his messages for us with the bible and nature working together to reveal god s love for us chambers covers the fact that like many he realised at a young age he was gay and he grew up in a christian home feeling like he wasn t good enough because he is gay he tried hard to not be gay to pray it away to be better and he found that that way of thinking damaged him and in the end he gave in and went on the gay scene and slept with men i never had this series of thoughts and behaviours i always knew god loved me it s all over the bible that god loves me romans 8 31 39 says that nothing can separate us from the love of god not demons not the devil not anything in the world or anything we could do can separate us from the love of god what does that mean for us gays the same as it means for the straights we are the only ones who hold ourselves back from god chambers recognises that many churches many have been destructive for the brothers and sisters who are gay or trans churches should be a place of healing for everyone everyone whether we like them or not everyone should find healing and god s acceptance and love in every church chambers says that all churches should be ministries for lgbt people he cites 1 corinthians 6 9 11 which finishes by saying that everyone who has done all sorts of stuff and that is what some of you were but you were washed you were sanctified you were justified in the name of the lord jesus christ and by the spirit of our god this means all sorts of people with all sorts of life issues and lifestyles encounter jesus and jesus changes people chambers is clear that we are to not let bad experiences with people or churches to switch us off god straight people have bad experiences with churches and people too god is worth us putting aside mere mortals and focusing on him and our future with him instead does this mean we will become straight i remember reading a quote from chambers many years ago the opposite of homosexuality is not heterosexuality the opposite of homosexuality is holiness chambers is adamant that people know that god turning people from gay to straight is not normally what happens some homosexual people do indeed become heterosexual i have had a number of friends who have gone from homosexual to heterosexual however what tends to happen is homosexual people become bisexual and bisexual people find that their swings in orientation calm down some people remain mostly attracted to the same sex some people like a number of women i have met have remained lesbian but as one said god has allowed me to be able to love one man these people are all happy and thankful to have the lives they now have not everyone becomes romantically or sexually attracted to the opposite sex god has different plans for different people as i have said before i have friends who have always been homosexual and have dedicated their lives to god as religious figures from a young age some are very famous in their home countries and one is a bona fide superhero going into war zones to see what he can do on the ground for people living in that area chambers talks about his own personal history of having a father who was abusive because he had been abused chambers talks about wanting to be like his mother not his father and he paid lose attention to how his mother sat ate spoke and he tried to mimic her and he was bullied at school by the other boys at school for this what chambers speaks about here sounds a lot like trans or gender dysphoria before the social contagion almost every child with gender identity disorder had been abused in childhood and had received poor messages about their birth sex and wanted to disassociate from their birth sex that was certainly true for me another man that was true for was sy rogers who chambers mentions twice sy rogers is a preacher who was not religious at all but the night before his bottom surgery operation prayed that if it was wrong to have bottom surgery that god would give him a sign in the morning he switched on the news and his hospital were on the news saying that their own independent research into trans showed it was an emotional issue not a physical one and so they were stopping all of their trans surgeries from that day on this was back in the 90s the two quotes of sy rogers that chambers cites are out of life s great buffet i didn t choose to be gay i didn t leave homosexuality because it was bad i left homosexuality because i found something better sy rogers found christ he had felt that he had failed as a man and he could start life again as a woman as a boy he wanted to be in a relationship with a man and he thought the only way he could be with a man is if he was a woman and he had been sexually abused today sy rogers is a confident man married to a woman with a daughter in her 20s he has a feminine voice from the hormones he had taken for many years and he puts it in terms of if i come from germany i would have a german accent he accepts his voice is different because of where he comes from in life therapy like me chambers puts an emphasis on everyone getting therapy if something nasty happened to you in childhood such as physical or sexual abuse many homosexual people find that space opens up for opposite sex attraction when they get therapy for surviving abuse or having had a bizarre child parent relationship one of my friends a very effeminate highly intelligent professional man spoke about how he had come to terms at the age of 21 that he would always be single because he is putting jesus first in his life and not his gayness i know he was having therapy for his relationship with his overbearing mother two years later he was married to a woman the aim of therapy is not to turn straight or bi the aim of therapy is to deal with the trauma and to move on without the pain dragging us back in life if people change orientation brilliant but that is not the aim of therapy chambers talks about journalling being an important part of his therapy and his walk with christ writing down whatever comes up in the mind relating to the pain to the struggle of leaving same sex relationships or sex behind the self medicating and learning to live without it and the excitement it brings writing down the thoughts about changing how one orientates one s life many different types of people go through this fast food junkies who turn to healthy living materialistic people who go minimalist critical people who stop criticising others everyone has something that they want or need to change within themselves not just lgbt christians the fakery chambers talks about the men who say they are ex gay or they are living in accordance with the scriptures and their wife who are then in the media for coming out as gay living again with their boyfriend he says that honesty and moving forward are crucial for living free later in the book a well known christian name mike goeke talks about being a same sex attracted man married to a woman being a christian and cheating on his wife with a man and the process they and other couples in their situation have gone through to get their marriage and faith back on track to be honest i skim read this chapter because it has never been my experience that i cheated on my husband and never will be i also was annoyed from reading the chapter on lesbians i am not the typical gay woman i am more wired up sexually with women and more emotionally with men as most bisexual women are but with me i am much more to that extreme than most gay women to be honest i didn t like the chapter on leaving lesbianism by yvette schneider it set off all of my hatred of women to be honest however if i am ever to be considered to be a grown up i have to accept that other gay women tend to be very differently put together than me emotional dependency is huge among gay women most same sex attraction between two women is not love at all but a neediness that comes from being emotionally abandoned as a child sexually abused as a child or otherwise mistreated yvette s chapter talks about this and how a gay woman can become suicidal if the woman she is obsessing over retreats from her in any way i know from reading other stories and listening to other women that emotional dependency is incredibly difficult to break but it absolutely stunts gay women emotionally intellectually spiritually and more it is an addiction and one of the most difficult to break if a dependent gay woman is told no by a woman eg like when i say no to women the dependent gay woman hits the roof comes out with all sorts of insults an absolute tirade of abuse even one 52 morbidly obese woman throwing herself on the floor kicking and screaming like a 2 year old because i said no the behaviours of emotionally dependent gay women are freakish to see and morally sickening they do behave like children because emotionally mentally they have never developed beyond the childhood stage they are mentally and emotionally the abandoned child the abused child the child in need of love they absolutely kick off when they don t get the woman they want and then they go on the hunt almost straight away for another woman until they find a woman who will give them what they want what do gay women want from women they want to be looked after they are still emotionally mentally a child when it comes to relationships so they want a woman a stand in for their mother usually to look after them they want to be loved like their mother never loved them they want to be made to feel safe because their mother never made them feel safe they want a woman to pay a lot of attention to them because their mother neglected them there are other gay women who again due to abuse neglect and more have grown up independent but they also want to look after someone to these women looking after someone is love these women have the other type of emotional dependency when the two types come together they suck the life out of each other and often mesh mentally and emotionally instead of being two individuals in a relationship and so trying to unpick a relationship like that takes a lot of time and effort and often a complete break away from each other my problem with yvette s chapter is she doesn t deal with the type of gay woman i am sexually driven because i cannot despite all my efforts of trying get on with women emotionally to me most women are boring unintelligent a waste of my time i ve tried to be friends with women i ve tried to hang out at social events with women i simply do not like the experience i have very little in common with most women different hobbies and interests and i don t do feelings i do facts gossip is huge among women two women meet for coffee in a coffee shop and 99 these women are ripping another woman to shreds behind her back i am disgusted by this behaviour and the endemic bullying in the workplace that is almost entirely committed by women i am disgusted women also get annoyed and offended easily because i don t give them the emotional support that they think they deserve from me the very first time they meet me at a social event and they get pissy and spread rumours about me i know i am not perfect but seriously hanging out with men is so easy and doesn t drain me at all men want to talk about anything that makes them laugh and think and laugh they don t want anything from me except a couple of jokes and an interesting fact about prince albert i hang out with men i m done with trying to be friends with women i certainly do not want to be in a relationship with a woman there are several women most of whom are gay in my workplace who are amazing workers and they have skills i do not so i ask their advice and i hold them in high regard however this is in work not in a social context i would never want to spend any time outside of work with most men or women i work with due to a difference of hobbies and interests and that s fine but i can admire the skills some women in my workplace have and ask their advice and help another thing i do not like about yvette s chapter is her anti women anti scripture take on what a woman and womanhood should be although she then contradicts herself by quoting proverbs 31 which is king solomon s ideal woman the ideal woman according to the wisest king who ever lived is she works hard to provide for her family she is highly respected by everyone in the town she makes sound business decisions she wears amazing clothes yet is respected for the person she is not what she looks like yvette on the other hand thinks that all christian women should grow their hair long wear make up wear dresses and skirts and become a stepford wife but she contradicts herself by quoting proverbs 31 yvette thinks all gay women are like she is whereas alan chambers thinks he is an individual and while there are patterns among gay men and gay women that we all have unique stories and we are not all the same in our personal histories in how we are wired up and how we move forward however since most gay women have a serious issue with emotional dependency and emotional dependency absolutely ruins gay women s lives i am glad that a gay woman who has such an insight into emotional dependency as yvette has written a chapter on the serious matter towards the end of the book chambers talks about the pressure that the modern world puts on lgbt people to say we are lgbt and that non christian lgbt people often feel betrayed when a friend becomes a christian and decides to change how they live their life all in all i find alan chambers book to be positive upbeat hopeful and full of scripture the quotes of scripture on most pages of chambers chapters are one thing that really stood out to me since i want all of my life to be based on scripture one issue i take with chambers and many christians who are same sex attracted is they talk about struggling that they struggle that being gay is a struggle while it is true that being lgbt is a struggle despite all the equality laws we are people who have very high levels of mental illness physical illness drug and alcohol addiction and other related problems this is because we are people with high levels of having survived serious child abuse so while i accept struggle to be a word to say we re not ok and need health professionals therapy rehab and more i do not for myself accept the word struggle to mean my sexual orientation i m gay i m bisexual just like i have dark hair i have curly hair for me my orientation is not a big deal i spoke to my husband about this yesterday that my gayness has enhanced our marriage not threatened it in any way my husband and i got to know each other through the gym and boxing class i know not every woman who boxes is gay but most of us are and we have s...
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