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Text of the page (random words):
you don t really know how you got into the situation you don t know the backstory why you why now all you do know is that you re suddenly on your own with a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag to handle and you ve got shit to do you ve got to go about your day get stuff done act like a functioning adult and as if everyday life isn t tricky enough you re now going to have to try to do all of that while taking a f cking funfair goldfish along with you that s anxiety then you bump into someone you know someone who doesn t have to carry a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag with them and they ask how you are and although you feel silly embarrassed and awkward confessing it you do you tell them that because you ve suddenly got a goldfish in a plastic bag that you have to carry around you re actually struggling a little to do all the normal things that everyone around you seems to be managing without issue that s anxiety and this person who isn t an ignorant shit doesn t like the idea of you struggling so they try to fix the situation they say things like well just stop having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag then and it ll be fine you can get on with things like i do and you can stop worrying oh you say thinking for a second that you ve found a kindred spirit so you know what this is like then have you also had to struggle along with a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag what worked for you how did you change things and get back to normal and they frown a little and tense up and think you re being sarcastic no they say i ve never had a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag myself but if i did and if it stopped me doing the things i wanted to do then i d just stop having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag and your heart sinks a little while you try to explain that it really isn t as simple as all that that you didn t ask to have a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag today it just sort of happened to you that you didn t opt for one for the attention and you did try to get out of the situation and yes you do know that you could put it down but that seriously that s not as easy a job as you re making out because it s vulnerable and wobbly and you re not sure what s the best approach and well it s in a plastic bag for a start it ll probably roll off the table or leak or burst and the fish will probably die and then the whole situation will be so much worse and it ll all be your fault and everyone will be staring at you and wondering why you can t just for god s sake handle something as simple as a goldfish in a plastic bag like anybody else would and they look awkwardly at you like you just said all of that out loud because you just said all of that out loud and they say oh so are you like frightened of funfair goldfish or something is that why you re panicking do you think it s going to kill you or something because it won t kill you you know i think you re getting this all out of proportion just breathe it s only a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag don t think about it and after considering the best place you could shove the goldfish in order to stop them talking you explain that no you re not frightened of funfair goldfish in plastic bags you don t think they re going to kill you they re not something you spend your life dreading in fact most of the time they don t enter your head but that actually none of that rational thinking matters right now because right now no matter how you try reframe the situation whether you think about it or not there s no mistaking it you re still standing here holding a bastard funfair goldfish in a plastic bag you just are it s happening and it s happening now that s anxiety and eventually the person who really isn t an ignorant shit they just don t get it because unlike you they ve never had to carry a funfair goldfish in a carrier bag around with them looks you in the eye realises they re not helping and says is there anything i can do and at first you want to cry a little because part of you is just not used to people being so thoughtful while another part of you feels ridiculous and not worthy of their consideration but you have a think and you give them some options some ideas of things they could do to help you while you ve got to hold on to a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag well you say you could maybe just sit with me for a bit it might get a bit lonely what with me being the only one here having to hold on to a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag so some company might be nice or you could try to distract me tell me a joke give me something to focus on or fiddle with until i can get rid of this thing or you could tell me that you know it s not my fault that i didn t think my way into this that anyone can find themselves suddenly having to hold a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag that it can happen to the best of us or you could remind me that this too shall pass that goldfish don t last for ever that the owner will come back soon that i won t be carrying this for all time or if i m really struggling with this whole having to carry a funfair goldfish around with me thing you could tell me that if i can t carry on with business as usual you won t think any less of me if i just take it outside home somewhere quiet and just wait it out and then you say oh and when it does pass which will probably feel quicker now i ve got some company but when i m no longer struggling to hold this thing together and stop it bursting all over the floor and ruining my entire day after that i might feel a bit tired a bit vulnerable a bit silly so maybe then you could make me a cuppa pat my hand kiss my forehead obvs that last one depends on who they are don t let the ignorant shits kiss your forehead ruletoliveby and then we could just carry on like it was no big deal and then the person who didn t get it before gets it a little more and where before they were uncomfortable with you having a funfair goldfish in a plastic bag because they felt helpless out of control they now begin to feel useful like there s something they can do if it ever happens again which it might because that s just caring for funfair goldfish for you and anxiety they re both unpredictable but better when shared and orange anxiety isn t really orange i just put that in to see if you were still paying attention so what do you reckon i don t pretend this analogy reflects everyone s experience of anxiety yours will be different if you have your own way of defining describing giving a shape to you own experiences of anxiety do share those too someone else may read your version and relate to it but if this one does help you or someone you know get their head around the amorphous confusion that is anxiety then please take it use it adapt it and let me know what you think in the comments or via any of my online homes and please if you can share it so others might find and benefit from thinking about anxiety as a funfair goldfish and any time you re welcome to join me with your own responses or stories using the tag anxiousgoldfish instagram twitter facebook website thanks for letting me chat about this with you today i hope something sticks in your mind and comes in useful when you need it to julie no funfair goldfish were harmed in the making of this article posted by julie kirk at 14 56 15 comments labels mental health anxiety understanding anxiety analogy storytelling mentalhealthblogger anxiousgoldfish email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday 5 september 2017 book review the letters page vol 2 hey you i don t know about where you are but from where i sit it s raining it s chilly and there s more than a subtle imposition of autumn nudging up against by bare ankles today so it s probably about the time of year i start settling in with a blanket a pair of socks long enough to cover my chilly bits and a good read such as volume 2 of the literary journal the letters page full disclosure i was sent this copy in exchange for an honest independent review i know and there s me always going on about how i never get anything for free i should probably also say that i have submitted a piece of work for consideration in volume 3 but this review is not linked in any way to that submission process if anything though the fact that i ve submitted something is merely evidence of my genuine interest in the publication because why would i have submitted to it in the first place now let s move on to the journal itself but hang on though because i simply can not talk about the book s contents until i ve squealed over shown you the packaging this how vol 2 arrives in style dressed in its own perfectly form fitting box envelope not a roll of brown impossible to find the end of parcel tape in sight show me any lover of stationery or mail art who wouldn t swoon when a handsome sturdy printed kraft card envelope like that presented itself on their doormat i certainly did except when i came into the hallway mine was still partly dangling from the letterbox which understandably didn t want to part with it too soon and so it was tantalising from the very start and from then on its design continued to delight the letters page is published by the school of english at the university of nottingham in partnership with book ex machina a specialist in special edition small runs of art books so the high level of design and detail in this journal comes as no surprise they refer to its design as a celebration of the printed object and it is certainly that as someone who agonised over the details of my own niche book i can really appreciate all the extra touches that go into making something feel special the embossed front cover even folds out to reveal this beautiful stamp inspired end paper design if you re anything like me you ll already be a little bit smitten with the letters page vol 2 even before you ve begun to look at its contents but before we look inside what i haven t explained yet is that it s called the letters page as each submission is sent in via the old school snail mail post and the majority of the articles begin n the style of a letter giving them a particularly intimate feel like they ve been sent directly to us for our eyes only it s published and edited by writer jon mcgregor who i first discovered through his short story collection this isn t the sort of thing that happens to someone like you and it was through link hopping from his website to read more about that book that i first heard about the letters page right then how about we start turning some of those pages so exactly what kind of publication is the letters page the letters page is a literary journal which i suppose you could describe as a collection of essays and musings that are satisfyingly more substantial and esoteric that the other kinds of articles you find yourself clicking on via social media day in day out they re a mixture of the sort of piece you might find in a thought provoking magazine some you d read for academic purposes complete with footnotes and some that feel like well like letters none of which is any kind of a bad thing in fact i really embraced this collection and felt smarter after reading it it reminded me of just how absorbing it can be to research and read around a particular subject something i adored doing at university and which i m re indulging in while researching for my novel which brings us to the idea of theme the theme of vol 2 is influence copies and plagiarism and really to someone who has produced an entire book made from snippets of other books and who once co hosted a blog called the copy paste project this couldn t have been a better topic to dive into curated in this volume are ten stylistically very different articles from contributors plus letters from the publisher and editor which bookend the other pieces and they really do offer a wide variety of both interpretations of the theme and genres styles through which to explore it for example kit caless s feature who knows the origin of anything consists of a series of letters to someone who set up an instagram account which borrowed his idea of documenting the carpets inside wetherspoon s pubs via tumblr in the letters caless considers the nature of copyright in an age of multi platforms can you expect to have the same name the same idea and carry it across each social media platform can you claim any idea as yours and yours alone there s a letter from poet andrew mcmillan exploring the idea of being a copy when you re following in your father s poetic footsteps joe dunthorne s contribution is a short story delete these exact letters in which only uses one single vowel e the footnotes explain that the piece is influenced by the idea of univocalism a structural exercise he acknowledges was directly influenced by the oulipo group and georges perec and rowena macdonald creates an entire backstory inspired by the people she meets when she finds their lost correspondence tucked inside a secondhand book anyone keeping up with my hashtag thewhitbypapers on instagram will know that both i and my ig community are a little obsessed right now over all the possible stories behind the letters in the hoard of vintage papers i recently found but perhaps the piece that has stayed with my longest is thou shalt not steal darren chetty s discussion of how rewarding it can be rather than starting from scratch each time to produce something which combines existing work into something new and coherent chetty s focus is on how sampling in hip hop can be read as a creative act a kind of folk art that borrows from existing music and creates a new collage style of its own needless to say even though his is a perspective drawing from music chetty s approach chimed so so much with my own way of working on snipped tales especially as his piece begins with him planning to compose his own letter about plagiarism from snippets of other peoples letters before he gives it up as too tricky it really couldn t have been any more appropriate for me if it tried and i have a feeling i ll be delving further into his work at some point tl dr in summary i thoroughly enjoyed my review copy of the letters page vol 2 i digested it over breakfast at a leisurely pace for several days and i ve dipped back in once or twice since it s is a substantial read but it s also accessible refreshing and beautifully curated yes in parts it s slightly highbrow and asks careful reading and concentration from you but equally there s also a discussion of a colour chart for urine so it all evens out in the end the tone of the book i mean not the colour of the urine the letters page vol 2 is for you if if you re interested in austen kleon s steal like an artist manifesto there s some similar ground covered here but from interesting new angles if you love short manageable articles perhaps online or in magazines but you occasionally feel like reading something a bit more thought provoking than the regular hot takes or click bait if you ...
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