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ut acquaintance can continue indefinitely another example is the association buildup during this stage people begin to trust and care about each other the need for intimacy compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals will influence whether or not interaction continues continuation this stage follows a mutual commitment to quite a strong and close long term friendship romantic relationship or even marriage it is generally a long relatively stable period nevertheless continued growth and development will occur during this time mutual trust is important for sustaining the relationship deterioration not all relationships deteriorate but those that do tend to show signs of trouble boredom resentment and dissatisfaction may occur and individuals may communicate less and avoid self disclosure loss of trust and betrayals may take place as the downward spiral continues eventually ending the relationship alternately the participants may find some way to resolve the problems and reestablish trust and belief in others ending the final stage marks the end of the relationship either by breakups death or by spatial separation for quite some time and severing all existing ties of either friendship or romantic love ways that interpersonal relationships begin edit proximity proximity increases the chance of repeated exposure to the same person long term exposure that can develop familiarity is more likely to trigger like or hate 45 technological advance the internet removes the problem of lack of communication due to long distance people can communicate with others who live far away from them through video calls or text internet is a medium for people to be close to others who are not physically near them 45 similarity people prefer to make friends with others who are similar to them because their thoughts and feelings are more likely to be understood 45 terminating a relationship edit according to the latest systematic review of the economic literature on the factors associated with life satisfaction dating from 2007 stable and secure relationships are beneficial and correspondingly relationship dissolution is harmful 46 the american psychological association has summarized the evidence on breakups breaking up can actually be a positive experience when the relationship did not expand the self and when the breakup leads to personal growth they also recommend some ways to cope with the experience purposefully focusing on the positive aspects of the breakup factors leading up to the break up the actual break up and the time right after the break up minimizing the negative emotions journaling the positive aspects of the breakup e g comfort confidence empowerment energy happiness optimism relief satisfaction thankfulness and wisdom this exercise works best although not exclusively when the breakup is mutual 47 less time between a breakup and a subsequent relationship predicts higher self esteem attachment security emotional stability respect for your new partner and greater well being furthermore rebound relationships do not last any shorter than regular relationships 48 49 60 of people are friends with one or more ex 50 60 of people have had an off and on relationship 37 of cohabiting couples and 23 of the married have broken up and gotten back together with their existing partner 51 terminating a marital relationship implies divorce or annulment one reason cited for divorce is infidelity the determinants of unfaithfulness are debated by dating service providers feminists academics and science communicators 52 53 54 55 according to psychology today women s rather than men s level of commitment more strongly determines if a relationship will continue 56 pathological relationships edit abusive edit abusive relationships involve either maltreatment or violence such as physical abuse physical neglect sexual abuse and emotional maltreatment 57 abusive relationships within the family are very prevalent in the united states and usually involve women or children as victims 58 common individual factors for abusers include low self esteem poor impulse control external locus of control drug use alcohol abuse and negative affectivity 59 there are also external factors such as stress poverty and loss which contribute to likelihood of abuse 60 codependent edit codependency initially focused on a codependent partner enabling substance abuse but it has become more broadly defined to describe a dysfunctional relationship with one or both partners having extreme dependence on or preoccupation with the relationship for example a narcissist and a sycophant with abandonment issues may create codependency as the narcissist values the flattery from the sycophant and the sycophant values the narcissist s approval 61 there are some who even refer to codependency as an addiction to the relationship 62 the focus of codependents tends to be on the emotional state behavioral choices thoughts and beliefs of another person 63 often those who are codependent neglect themselves in favor of taking care of others and have difficulty fully developing an identity of their own 64 narcissistic edit narcissists focus on themselves and often distance themselves from intimate relationships the focus of narcissistic interpersonal relationships is to promote one s self concept 65 generally narcissists show less empathy in relationships and view love pragmatically or as a game involving others emotions 66 65 narcissists are usually part of the personality disorder narcissistic personality disorder npd in relationships they tend to affect the other person as they attempt to use them to enhance their self esteem 67 specific types of npd make a person incapable of having an interpersonal relationship due to their being cunning envious and contemptuous 67 importance edit human beings are innately social and are shaped by their experiences with others there are multiple perspectives to understand this inherent motivation to interact with others need to belong edit according to maslow s hierarchy of needs humans need to feel love sexual nonsexual and acceptance from social groups family peer groups in fact the need to belong is so innately ingrained that it may be strong enough to overcome physiological and safety needs such as children s attachment to abusive parents or staying in abusive romantic relationships such examples illustrate the extent to which the psychobiological drive to belong is entrenched social exchange edit another way to appreciate the importance of relationships is in terms of a reward framework this perspective suggests that individuals engage in relations that are rewarding in both tangible and intangible ways the concept fits into a larger theory of social exchange this theory is based on the idea that relationships develop as a result of cost benefit analysis individuals seek out rewards in interactions with others and are willing to pay a cost for said rewards in the best case scenario rewards will exceed costs producing a net gain this can lead to shopping around or constantly comparing alternatives to maximize the benefits or rewards while minimizing costs relational self edit relationships are also important for their ability to help individuals develop a sense of self the relational self is the part of an individual s self concept that consists of the feelings and beliefs that one has regarding oneself that develops based on interactions with others 68 in other words one s emotions and behaviors are shaped by prior relationships relational self theory posits that prior and existing relationships influence one s emotions and behaviors in interactions with new individuals particularly those individuals that remind them of others in their life studies have shown that exposure to someone who resembles a significant other activates specific self beliefs changing how one thinks about oneself in the moment more so than exposure to someone who does not resemble one s significant other 69 power and dominance edit power is the ability to influence the behavior of other people 70 when two parties have or assert unequal levels of power one is termed dominant and the other submissive expressions of dominance can communicate an intention to assert or maintain dominance in a relationship being submissive can be beneficial because it saves time limits emotional stress and may avoid hostile actions such as withholding of resources cessation of cooperation termination of the relationship maintaining a grudge or even physical violence submission occurs in different degrees for example some employees may follow orders without question whereas others might express disagreement but concede when pressed 71 groups of people can form a dominance hierarchy 72 for example a hierarchical organization uses a command hierarchy for top down management this can reduce time wasted in conflict over unimportant decisions prevents inconsistent decisions from harming the operations of the organization maintain alignment of a large population of workers with the goals of the owners which the workers might not personally share and if promotion is based on merit help ensure that the people with the best expertise make important decisions this contrasts with group decision making and systems which encourage decision making and self organization by front line employees who in some cases may have better information about customer needs or how to work efficiently dominance is only one aspect of organizational structure a power structure describes power and dominance relationships in a larger society for example a feudal society under a monarchy exhibits a strong dominance hierarchy in both economics and physical power whereas dominance relationships in a society with democracy and capitalism are more complicated in business relationships dominance is often associated with economic power for example a business may adopt a submissive attitude to customer preferences stocking what customers want to buy and complaints the customer is always right in order to earn more money a firm with monopoly power may be less responsive to customer complaints because it can afford to adopt a dominant position in a business partnership a silent partner is one who adopts a submissive position in all aspects but retains financial ownership and a share of the profits 73 two parties can be dominant in different areas for example in a friendship or romantic relationship one person may have strong opinions about where to eat dinner whereas the other has strong opinions about how to decorate a shared space it could be beneficial for the party with weak preferences to be submissive in that area because it will not make them unhappy and avoids conflict with the party that would be unhappy the breadwinner model is associated with gender role assignments where the male in a heterosexual marriage would be dominant as they are responsible for economic provision 74 relationship quality edit this section is an excerpt from relationship quality edit relationship quality refers to the perceived quality of a close relationship i e romantic relationship friendship or family relationship quality sometimes used interchangeably with relationship satisfaction relationship flourishing or relationship happiness in the context of close interpersonal relationships is generally defined as a reflection of a couple s overall feelings towards their relationship 75 more simply it is the extent to which members in a relationship romantic or otherwise view their relationship as positive or negative 76 77 the determinant of relationship quality is often a variety of self reported evaluations of traits that make up relationship quality for instance feelings of closeness may be measured via questions that ask an individual to rate the extent to which they identify with statements i e i feel close to my partner i am comfortable sharing personal thoughts and feelings with my partner etc these questions are typically asked on a likert scale and the average of those scores represents an individual s feelings of closeness toward their partner some scales are considered unidimensional and attempt to directly measure the construct of relationship quality other scales considered multidimensional repeat this process for other hypothesized components e g closeness and satisfaction before aggregating dimensions into a representative relationship quality score historically relationship quality has been the most commonly studied in the context of intimate romantic relationships 78 more recently the study of relationship quality has extended to include other types of close relationships see friendships family sibling parent there is not always agreement among scholars about what domains should be included in the measurement of relationship quality even within the different types of close relationships 79 80 81 despite this relationship quality and its predictors have been of popular interest to relationship scholars due to the range of psychological and relational outcomes that high quality relationships have been positively linked and associated with 82 relationship satisfaction edit further information relationship quality social exchange theory and rusbult s investment model show that relationship satisfaction is based on three factors rewards costs and comparison levels miller 2012 83 rewards refer to any aspects of the partner or relationship that are positive conversely costs are the negative or unpleasant aspects of the partner or their relationship the comparison level includes what each partner expects of the relationship the comparison level is influenced by past relationships and general relationship expectations they are taught by family and friends individuals in long distance relationships ldrs rated their relationships as more satisfying than individuals in proximal relationship prs 84 85 alternatively holt and stone 1988 found that long distance couples who were able to meet with their partner at least once a month had similar satisfaction levels to unmarried couples who cohabitated 86 also the relationship satisfaction was lower for members of ldrs who saw their partner less frequently than once a month ldr couples reported the same level of relationship satisfaction as couples in prs despite only seeing each other on average once every 23 days 87 social exchange theory and the am investment model both theorize that relationships that are high in cost would be less satisfying than relationships that are low in cost ldrs have a higher level of costs than prs therefore one would assume that ldrs are less satisfying than prs individuals in ldrs are more satisfied with their relationships compared to individuals in prs 85 this can be explained by unique aspects of the ldrs how the individuals use relationship maintenance behaviors and the attachment styles of the individuals in the relationships therefore the costs and bene...
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