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the musical version all in all hairspray is simply a gloriously fun time and probably the only divine film i d let a child watch b posted by dame james at 8 53 pm no comments labels crazy 80 s project john waters le cinema friday november 25 2011 100 hot men and a dame 89 river viiperi 89 river viiperi occupation model nationality spanish age 20 best known for starring in ad campaigns for american eagle and calvin klein while landing the covers of magazines such as coitus and guapo all within a very short period of time for this installment of 100 hot men a dame i have my good friend kameron follow him on twitter and tumblr helping me out kameron and i met online a couple summers ago and as we used to live in the same state he s the only online friend i ve made that i have met in real life our friendship appears to be based on disagreeing about everything but somehow we have agreed on a few men on my list so enjoy the first of a few conversations with him dame james when did you first encounter river and if it wasn t love at first sight when did you fall in love with him kameron it was love at first drool i was a men s underwear expert at bloomingdale s and we began getting a new line of calvin klein s in called ck one they were cute sexy young hip all of that but the best part was the sexy new adverts placed in my section the posters made me want to umm further my product knowledge cough and in doing so i stumbled across this first off yum secondly he is european and if you know me you know i can t resist those europeans this fresh face spanish beauty had me at hola dj sigh and to think the hottest guys i see at work are the generic male models wearing target clothing if i got to look at river every day i d be a lot happier at work it s easy to see why that advertisement deepened your love of him that accent although i always find it strange hearing models speak after focusing on their looks for so long they never sound the way you d think thankfully in river s case he sounds better than you d expect i first noticed river sometime in early 2010 i had had a slight interest in male models for a time but river had something special beyond the requisite good looks he could actually model and he has a wonderful unexpected range quite the feat since most male models only have to look hot in skimpy underwear have you looked into his portfolio any favorite photos i ve always loved this one with the cat on his head k i ve never obsessed to the point were i looked up his entire portfolio but i have seen quite a lot of sexy pics on the fuck yeah tumblr blog made in his honor to have to choose just one photo is criminal but i am fond of this one and i m also particularly fond of his photos were he shows how do i put this classy like his man hair patch above the goods dj pubic hair you can say it pubic hair k the picture above is one of my faves cos it s his ecstasy pose dj do you like to imagine that s the face he makes when he orgasms k yes dj not that you think of that often obviously you have a boyfriend and everything k no never dj question would your boyfriend uli let you have a threesome with river k god yes he probably wouldn t think twice about it niether would i you have to prepare yourself your relationship for such situations come up with a list of couldn t say nos dj i m glad you and uli have made time to discuss such important issues in your relationship and i m glad he understands how important river is to you k if he s isn t willing he ain t marriage material and how about you does river not float your boat or would you like to ride the rough river all night long posted by dame james at 10 34 am no comments labels 100 hot men and a dame boys boys boys models river viiperi thursday november 24 2011 what i m thankful for this turkey day i m actually thankful for this whole movie obviously but this scene is perhaps it changes daily my favorite in the entire movie i can t wait to try this out whenever someone accuses me of being drunk by the way it should be noted that i am always thankful for this but it never hurts to celebrate it whenever possible posted by dame james at 9 26 am no comments labels boys boys boys bridesmaids holidays kristen wiig le cinema zac efron monday november 21 2011 in which i m now forced to hate emma stone i truly love emma stone i really do she won last year s diva cup award for best actress for goodness sake but i love andy more arguably to the point of obsession so that s why i must hate emma now back off from my man bitch but goddamnit these two are so cute together gah so many conflicting feelings posted by dame james at 2 03 pm 1 comment labels boys boys boys celebrity couples emma stone oh andy sunday november 20 2011 bridesmaids a personal essay last june one of my best friends from high school got married when she had gotten engaged the year before she asked me to be her man of honor which i immediately accepted by the time of her wedding to i should add her first serious boyfriend a great guy she had been with for over four years she had just finished school and her student teaching and was on the verge of landing a full time job at her husband s school doing exactly what she wanted to do meanwhile her man of honor was finishing up his master s degree no job in sight 50 000 of student loan debt looming after graduation working a minimum wage job in retail to make ends meet and not only no man in sight but no significant relationship ever now i don t mean to make her life sound easy or that she had things handed to her because she worked damn hard to get where she s at but at that moment her life lined up perfectly for her around the time of this wedding hoopla a little movie called bridesmaids was released superficially the film mimicked my life and therefore i found the film hilarious beyond belief i wasn t sure the film would hold up but in the months between the theatrical and dvd release i found myself thinking fondly of certain scenes and cracking up with laughter usually at work completely out of context so when the dvd came out i rushed to buy my copy and immediately came home to watch it not only was bridesmaids as funny as i remembered but i discovered it also had a deeper darker more bitter core right underneath the raucous comedy and it s this core which makes bridesmaids relatable on so many levels not only to myself but to so many others is this real life when we meet annie kristen wiig the maid of honor for her best friend since childhood lillian s maya rudolph wedding her life is in a state of chaos the bakery that she opened a few years previously has gone under completely wiping out her life savings her boyfriend left her soon after the business s collapse she now lives with two horrible roommates in a crummy apartment she works at a jewelry store a job she was only able to get because her mother knows the owner if her present is currently glum her future isn t any better as annie is stuck in a rut and has neither the ability or the strength to get out of it maybe this your bottom her mother jill clayburgh a non alcoholic who regularly attends alcoholics anonymous meetings thoughtfully suggests early in the movie it s a lovely thought but we all realize things will get much worse before they get any better so this is where lillian s wedding becomes both a blessing and a curse for annie on one hand planning showers and bachelorette parties are a welcome distraction from the drudgery of her everyday life on the other hand though the wedding presents another problem for annie s already burdensome life lillian s new friend and fellow bridesmaid helen rose byrne not only is she rich classy beautiful a touch pretentious and snobby in the subtle way where she would never say anything mean directly to your face but she is also blatantly trying to steal lillian away from annie or at least that s how annie sees it after helen gives a heartwarming extremely personal speech about her friendship with lillian at the engagement party the moment soon devolves into a hilarious gag where helen and annie refuse to relinquish control of the mic and end up making asses out of themselves trying to prove to lillian who cares about her more the scene is one of the film s comedic centerpieces i love when wiig says a host of random words in spanish in response to helen s recitation of a hindu quotation on friendship but it also provides bridesmaids with a portion of its bitter true to life backbone with the sudden emergence of helen in lillian s life annie is afraid lillian is evolving beyond their friendship while annie s life is in neutral lillian s life is changing quickly and for the better the fact that lillian has chosen a friend like helen someone annie claims they would have made fun of in the past scares annie if lillian is now friends with someone like helen who is beautiful classy and has her shit together will she need annie anymore the fear of being replaced has crossed the mind of anyone who has found themselves slightly out of sync with their best friend from childhood bridesmaids response to this like many of its darker themes is to laugh to keep from crying instead of moping wallowing in self pity or attacking the conflict head on bridesmaids laughs at annie s situation and her increasingly erratic reactions to it in this case by setting up a rivalry between annie and helen for the imaginary status as lillian s best friend instead of merely laughing off annie s fears though bridesmaids treats them respectfully which is daring simply because of the fact her fears of seeing her best friend move on without her are more universal than most people care to admit the perils of being single if you have seen nearly any tv show with a female lead in the past 25 years you will know that in the mind of most people there is nothing worse than being over thirty and single look at dorothy zbornak fran fine liz lemon christine campbell and countless others if you don t believe me bridesmaids understands this stigma and addresses it in a bizarre yet ultimately hilarious way as lillian introduces annie to her other bridesmaids at the engagement party not one but two of the bridesmaids mistake random strangers who happen to be idling next to annie as her boyfriend it s as if the thought of someone annie s age being alone is so unbearable they have to pair her off with anyone who comes along even the odd unlikely men who pause next to her the fact that even megan melissa mccarthy a woman who is not exactly emily post herself when it comes to social norms and etiquette comments on this shows just how ingrained in our heads this idea that women of a certain age should be paired up is but annie isn t completely alone she does have ted jon hamm a narcissistic immature jerk who uses annie basically as a blowup doll with very little consideration for her feelings lillian knows he s a jerk and so does annie but it s better to have a booty call every couple of weeks than be completely alone and bridesmaids completely understands the subtleties of realizing the guy you are with isn t right for you but not wanting to admit to yourself or anyone because at certain times in your life any attention from a male is positive attention you make excuses for him talk about how you re just having fun believe his intent to not become serious as perfectly acceptable i know i have been there a couple times and it is a fuzzy area no other movie i can recall explores as succinctly as bridesmaids does officer prince charming the introduction of officer rhodes chris o dowd as annie s love interest is both fascinating and refreshing for a number of reasons first of all o dowd s casting as rhodes is a nice change of pace as o dowd is hardly most people s idea of a matinee idol and the more conventionally handsome jon hamm is the asshole in the film secondly the fact that rhodes pulls over annie because he thinks she s driving under the influence which sidenote leads into perhaps my favorite sequence in the entire film if i was drunk could i do this is not the typical romantic comedy meet cute there s no obvious sign that this guy is the one he s just a nice guy who takes pity on annie third the progression of their relationship feels wholly organic to the film and resembles something out of real life rather than a stock romantic comedy when they do meet up again after the night he pulls her over whether they are eating carrots in the parking lot or grabbing a drink at the bar their chemistry is palpable but never off the wall only in the movies electric like for example damon blunt in this year s the adjustment bureau they crack jokes but they often feel like jokes real people would make in real life o dowd wiig make their pairing realistic without moving into indie movie territory funny without overdoing it and cute without pushing tweeness it s a remarkable pairing one that brings out the best in both actors and only serves the movie better without o dowd would we work as hard to try to understand annie s insecurities and fears and without bridesmaids would we consider o dowd to be the prince charming he turns out to be by the final frames bridesmaids is no doubt the funniest film of 2011 but perhaps more importantly it s also the film that captures my life as a post graduate stuck in a rut trying to figure out what comes next the film doesn t offer any hard and fast solutions for how annie fixes her life nor does its happy endinfeel completely out of place or undeserved for these reasons and many many more bridesmaids will no doubt remain my favorite film of the year and anyone who thinks my attachment to this film is hindering my ability to review this film impartially can go to hell if we can t form unhealthy attachments to films why in the hell are we reviewing films in the first place bridesmaids may not reach malick levels of art but nothing this year has moved me quite in the way wiig and company have done with this film sometimes that s far more important in the long run posted by dame james at 2 54 pm no comments labels bridesmaids film rants kristen wiig le cinema maya rudolph newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom forget eve it s all about me dame james kalamazoo michigan united states a child of marx and coca cola who strives to be dame judi dench when he grows up or kristen stewart i haven t decided yet view my complete profile contact me email rantsofadiva at yahoo dot com facebook twitter recent film screenings cleanflix andrew james joshua ligairi 2009 b dr kildare s strange case harold s bucquet 1940 c pitch perfect jason moore 2012 c les misérables tom hooper 2012 d nobody lives forever jean negulesco 1946 c the secret of dr kildare harold s bucquet 1939 c django unchained quentin tarantino 2012 a liberal arts josh radnor 2012 d beasts of the southern wild benh zeitlin 2012 c ted seth macfarlane 2012 b almost normal marc moody 2005 f hope springs david frankel 2012 c paranorman ch...
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