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but i can handle all that i really can what i can t handle is feeling so completely out of step with most of the modern world when i need to buy something i prefer to go to an actual brick and mortar store remember when we didn t have to all them that when the term store automatically meant a building online shopping has its purpose and i do it myself sometimes but i still love going shopping in a real store with merchandise i can touch and see the actual color and quality before i make my purchase i want to try clothes on before i buy because there s a difference between clothing that fits and clothing that is flattering and comfortable i want to read books made of paper pages i can turn not stories on a screen i get annoyed when i m making a small purchase and am told we don t accept cash anymore is counting out change really that hard do i really need a permanent record of every transaction i make and when i eat at a restaurant that substitutes qr codes for menus i wonder what people who forgot to bring their phone with them are supposed to do then i remember no one goes anywhere without their phones these days and that they have become our most precious possession and apparently no one plans for people like my mother who doesn t own a smart phone i get tired of the endless number of apps that we are required download and i can t begin to remember all the passwords i need to navigate our modern world it seems that every doctor s office has its own special portal we must use each requiring its own separate password after all how could hackers hope to access our personal information if we don t put it all of it within easy reach on the internet i know i know i sound like a crabby old lady if the shoe fits but sometimes i feel like a salmon swimming upstream against a constant stream of change is it really so wrong to want the ability to choose which types of technology i want to embrace and which types i d like to avoid is preferring to interact with another human being rather than an ai bot so wrong most people probably think so but i can t help it that s how i feel i suppose it s natural to long for what s familiar and to resist changes we don t like especially as we age so i soldier on adapting as best i can to our brave new world and remembering to appreciate the changes i do like i take comfort in the knowledge that this is probably what people have always had to do as they age sometimes the best we can do is to simply carry on the tradition share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr print opens in new window print like loading worth the wait september 23 2025 ann coleman 90 comments my husband and i recently returned from a quick trip to our favorite vacation destination sanibel island sanibel has always been a special place for us but when it took a direct hit from hurricane ian in 2022 we weren t sure if our days of vacationing on sanibel were over the entire island was covered with a 12 foot storm surge and the damage was extensive we ve made a couple of short visits since when the island was still very much in recovery mode knowing that the local economy depended on tourism and that they needed visitors even when only a few hotels restaurants and stores were open but this last visit was different the island s foliage was much greener we were able to return to one of our favorite condo complexes and we had plenty of restaurants and stores to pick from in the three years since the hurricane hit sanibel has made a tremendous come back the wait was worth it upon our return i was surprised to see that many people had decided to put up their halloween decorations even though it was still early september and halloween was almost two months away i ll admit i m not a huge fan of most halloween decorations my taste doesn t run to things gruesome or scary but i still don t understand wanting to put up decorations so early i may love decorating for christmas but i don t put up my christmas tree until after thanksgiving waiting to breakout my christmas decorations until advent or at least close to advent just makes them feel more special to me fall is not my favorite season but after weeks of hot weather with little or no rain i was more than ready for it this year i was tired of the blistering heat the crunchy brown grass and having to constantly refill the bird baths in order to help the local wildlife stay hydrated i was ready for cooler weather some colorful fall foliage and even a frost or two to get rid of the pesky bugs but i had to wait until mother nature and the calendar decided it was time for autumn to begin and now it has come we ve had three days of rainfall and the temperatures have dropped at least ten degrees even too warm days are followed by nights cool enough to sit out on the patio i bought a pumpkin and placed it on the front porch soon i ll bake my first pumpkin pie of the season and break out some light weight fall sweaters and i really believe that the time i spent longing for the new season has made me enjoy it all the more once fall finally arrived because the truth is most good things are worth waiting for share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr print opens in new window print like loading feed the birds august 26 2025 ann coleman 89 comments it started out as a simple gift from our youngest grandson his preschool had a clear bird feeder attached to their window and all the children in his class could enjoy watching the birds while they ate while shopping with his mother one day he spotted the same kind of bird feeder and decided it would be a perfect christmas gift for his grandparents when we first opened the gift we agreed it was nice to receive a gift a three year old had picked out especially for us and my husband and i had actually been scattering some bird seed on the back patio during the particularly cold days of december now we had a spiffy bird feeder that allowed us to view the birds from the warmth and comfort of our own home while they enjoyed a much needed winter feast it was a win win situation or so we thought we quickly discovered that where there was bird food there would also be squirrels intent on hogging it all it didn t matter where we moved the bird feeder the squirrels found it and figured out a way to access it they climbed the siding of our house they flung themselves at it from nearby bushes and one enterprising young fellow even hung upside down from the windowpane until his outstretched paws finally got a grasp on the feeder we knew when we were beat so we took down the feeder our grandson bought us and purchased the kind that hangs from a tall pole which we installed in the far back corner of our yard this feeder claimed to be squirrel proof thanks to the large dome that surrounds the pole just below the feeder and so far that dome seems to be working the problem now is that the cardinals bluebirds doves and other beautifully colored birds that frequented our old feeder don t seem to be able to navigate this one the sparrows just love it and it attracts dozens of them at a time they also eat the bird seed even faster than the squirrels did because no matter how high we fill the feeders and yes there are now two of them they are empty by lunchtime after that we re treated by the sight of a bunch of disappointed birds of all sorts the bigger ones hang around on the ground pecking hopefully but fruitlessly at the empty husks beneath the feeders so we ve taken to buying bird seed in the large economy sized packages and once we discovered that all the bird seed we could find either contains nuts or is packaged in a facility that also has nuts we ve had to keep it sealed in a plastic bin to protect our older grandson who has a peanut allergy we also have to keep the area beneath the feeder clean lest the droppings from the seeds attract mice or god forbid rats i ve already seen a couple of voles out there the upshot is we now have a rather expensive and time consuming hobby that neither of us anticipated and yet we can t in good conscience stop feeding the birds we re both too soft hearted for that and besides there are now so many of them in our back yard that i really don t have the nerve to make them angry i saw alfred hitchcock s movie the birds as a young child and it made a lasting impression so for now we ll soldier on and don t get me wrong we really were touched and thrilled by our grandson s gift to us we just didn t realize it would turn out to be the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr print opens in new window print like loading 95 and counting july 23 2025 ann coleman 111 comments my mother turned 95 last week that s a pretty big milestone but we celebrated it as we have celebrated most of her recent birthdays by hosting a party at our house for close family and friends we knew she deserved a big birthday bash but we also knew she has reached the stage where a big birthday bash would overwhelm her even though i ve hosted my mom s birthday parties many times i was a little nervous about this year s celebration in previous parties we d made use of our back yard and patio and had yard games for everyone to play my husband even created tournaments complete with prizes for the winners i ll never forget the year my son told me i m playing grandma in bean bags and she s trash talking me grandma s going down i don t remember who actually won but i do remember it was close but this year the forecast called for rain that meant our 24 guests who ranged in age from 1 to 95 would probably be inside our rather small house one of my mom s good friends depends on a walker so navigating the porch steps would be challenging and since i don t have a table large enough for all our guests to sit down together to eat i wanted to serve a meal that could be eaten while simply sitting in a chair i also needed food that would appeal to both young children and elderly adults and that didn t require turning on my oven on a hot july afternoon it didn t help when i learned the bakery where i always get her cake was closed the week of her party none of these things were real problems but i wanted to make mom s party as nice as possible and since i have the ability to worry about anything and everything i fretted about the details but like most of the things i worry about her party turned out just fine it wasn t perfect but everyone seemed to have a good time my mother liked her cake her presents and most of all getting the chance to celebrate her 95th birthday with her family and friends no one complained about the food or the noise level when the kids got a little loud or even the difficulty of navigating steps with a walker it turns out that when people are gathered to celebrate the birthday of someone they love they don t sweat the small stuff i suppose one of the benefits of aging is learning the difference between what matters and what doesn t matter having a mother healthy enough to have a 95th birthday party is a gift that matters and i can only hope that this time next year i ll be able to write all about her 96th birthday party as well share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr print opens in new window print like loading assistance needed june 26 2025 june 26 2025 ann coleman 105 comments generally speaking i m not a fan of aging i don t care for the wrinkled skin the diminished stamina or the slow but sure progression of arthritis failing eyesight and declining memory when we were chatting with our favorite waiter at our favorite restaurant i wasn t pleased when the young man told us we were like a second set of grandparents to him i was actually a little offended calling us a second set of parents would have been a heart warming compliment calling us a second set of grandparents just made me realize how much i could benefit from a face lift nevertheless i am discovering there are benefits of aging that no one had ever told me about for instance i ve never been good at keeping up with current fashions and tend to simply wear the type of clothes i like when i was younger i was sometimes embarrassed at social gatherings when i realized my outfit wasn t even remotely like the clothes any other woman was wearing that s often still the case but i m no longer embarrassed by it no one expects a woman of my age to keep up with current trends and that s fine by me when i was young i wouldn t have asked a tall young man i didn t know to grab a six pack of soda off the top shelf for me fearing he d think i was trying to flirt with him it s supposedly common in grocery stores but just last week i had no problems doing just that when i realized my precious diet coke was out of reach the young man handed me my soda i thanked him and we each went our separate ways without a second thought but the main benefit of being a woman of a certain age is the ability to play the old lady card whenever it suits me i have learned that most young people have very low expectations of the aged and we can easily work that to our advantage i ve found that when someone younger than me tells me they can t help with whatever i need the best thing to do is simply stare at them in a confused manner say excuse me and wait it out they will almost always sigh roll their eyes and take care of the matter at hand trust me this works i ve had my new phone set up by an impatient young salesman who had assured me that wasn t his job gotten medical appointments scheduled after being told none were available and had disputed and incorrect charges removed from my accounts there are many more examples but my old lady brain can t recall them right now the point is if people believe you are old and helpless they will generally do things for you so wrinkles do have an advantage after all i ll end this now because i have to go visit my 94 year old mother while i m there i ll check her mail for bills that need to be paid take out her trash clean out her fridge and water her houseplants she used to do those things for herself but i do them now because she s so old and that means she couldn t possibly do them herself right right share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in 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