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ol gates like a southern us governor in the 1950s and 60s on panel shows and say you shall not pass university without incurring crippling debt refuse to not quit twitter when you promise it drama monarchs dan savage oddly when prime minister abbott failed to offer his hand to european union high representative catherine ashton kick russia out of the g20 there was not a glimmer of protest from those who are for freedom and apparently little else abbott saw fit to call russian president vladimir putin a bully truly a foreign policy colossus are white south african migrants to australia racist are black zimbabwean leaders racist for pushing whites off farms considering the hierarchy of oppression that is so fashionable now are any non white people racist at all fuuuuuuuuck shelve your bullshit what about mugabe logical fallacies insert random example of racism for seemingly endless days in may 2013 australia was obsessed with the eddie mcguire controversy the who wants to be a millionaire hot seat hotpants whatever it s called these days host and president of the collingwood football club doubled down on racist comments about adam goodes he now has to sell the franchise and will end his days as a pariah called a laughable press conference kept all of his lucrative media gigs including press red for ed isn t that enough not for sam newman though the footy show was not alone fox sports afl 360 anchors weighed every nuance reading tweets from another brown afl player eddie took on the show with him to prove he wasn t racist interviewing each other endlessly for what only because there was bad press at stake for the afl did mcguire even try and weasel out of his brainfade and yet plenty of stupid people think and say and write in the most appalling english on any social media platform online comment section they can find mcguire s racism is the fault of the brown person who should stfu htfu i d rather ask how healthy it is for the leader of any sporting team to be owned by a single plutocrat this level of stupidity to go unchecked minimising racism emboldens other racists thanks eddie this is a great example of what mark sawyer would call not racism my contention is that people can say racist things because they are afflicted temporarily or permanently with stupidity racism why because i believe there are that many racists even if they lack the self awareness to realise they are in fact racist these would be people fairfax you really needed your subs obsessed with the supremacy of their race feels to the exclusion of facts they are out there and their numbers are significant and the best frontman they can present is not the prime minister as john oliver found in last week tonight last fortnight he ain t growing the brand scott morrison seriously he is my worst nightmare because he would win a poll held whenever in a canter because of the stupid racists i d wager that the overwhelming majority of us no matter the colour are roughly as racist our formal education are is not as stupid as each other ok whoever pressed go without subbing this column is doing my head in in other words let s stop the stupid not just the stupid things we say stop electing stupid governments stop watching unqualified people erect plaster board and selling their bodgy renos to stupid people with more money than sense stop labelling basic human decency and not being a racist as political correctness stop appropriating the future by thinking about electricity bills stop decrying learning and instead reach for something beyond ourselves just stop being so bloody stupid comments leave a comment tags australia fairfax mark sawyer stupidity categories 2014 june media racism writing to tony abbott shite minister australia from m tucker undisclosed location spain 21 05 2014 dear shite minister do not take this missive as a sign that i am writing to you in any capacity other than to instruct you like a boarder at a de la salle brothers list d school my old mate tex tells me you ve got a regular jesuit jizznado for me something to do with self flagellating and a flute christ on a bike what is it with you lot that you won t listen to him or peta so here i am emailing you at too early spanish time some twatweasel from the bbc jon high fuckin mighty donnison sent to the colonies after he messed me over some shitwank parliamentary committee hearing thought dropping my name into a story about you winking at some fuckin trot radio presenter when granny grindr called the station was a great idea the days of me getting paxman and those other knob jockeys off my back by raising an eyebrow over the phone may be over but don t worry about donnison i ve been onto the new generalissimo and all i can say is good luck in goma gitface i digress abbott may i call you abbott it s a step up from numpty so there s that abbott now listen to me son listen to me very fuckin carefully because i do not have the fuckin space time thing down yet to ram my fist up your arse so far i can breach your large intestine and flap your gums for you you fuckin insult to ventriloquist dummies in my many many years of running countries for cunts like you i ve never seen someone go from on message to on mogadon so quickly you re like one of those french trains on tilt rails tilting tony fuck i thought i had seen it all with blinky ben and nicola fuckin murray you son you are a slightly less medicated tom you look like a demented komodo dragon with tourette s apologies to anyone living with tourette s you re an insult to people with the fuckin balls to live with tourette s you shiny faced fuck speaking of shiny faced fucks will you do something useful there s a good lad tell peta to check her voicemail on the burner not the nsa approved device yeah i saw some gifs of that gommy hockey on a mate s tumblr don t you dare question me about tumblr and that bastard looked like he d been caught ram raiding on a vespa couldnae help but share them with jamie he agrees if you call cackling like an annoying cock on the weekend agreeing if you don t bang that bawjaws with some botox pronto fuckin presto there is nothing the gorbals goebbels can do for you to top it off you and that great heaving jessie pyne then have the fuckin temerity to fanny about with the public schedule for safety reasons well spin me around and call me susan all the hats doffed in your direction antoine pissing your jimmies over some pock marked teenage pinkos who will be voting tory in 10 years and calling it protection advice from those gawping great gin soaks at your piss ant imitation scotland yard have you ever thought of calling it shitehouse yard i quite like that anyway where was i oh yeah that that takes some fuckin balls to be fair i wouldnae ride pyne into battle against undergraduate trots either stop the boats stop the fuckin cliff s notes being passed to the despatch box more like right i d rather have ebola than continue this email so flap those jumbo ears and listen up scrote with eyes i am not your enemy and do not start me on that quim starved cunt turnbull apparently you re such a dozy cunt you gave morrison a private navy how many punches to the head did you take at poxford he looks like a tall napoleon when that corsican cunt was conquering europe i e before all that shite went down outside moscow fuck just read that thick russian book it ends badly and you re falling apart like a badly packed kebab no wonder you re not sending him out to sell your budget he could probably do the fuckin job and you handed him a fuckin quasi stasi operation sovereign borders operation shitey britches jesus howard ker ist on rubber crutches you are beyond all repair the thing people like you don t get is that you are dis fuckin spensable of all the fucks there are zero fucks for you peta she will fuckin jump or i will push her into napoleon shitomite s direction because we are the indispensable ones yours not really but i ve leaked this to the graun bang up job on your daughter hey tucker ps donnison next time you want my attention son have the fuckin decency to leave a message back at hq for jamie this sorry malcs to interrupt your retirement on the costa fuckin brava but you re my only hope of getting back to london bullshit disnae wash neither will you out in the bush mate and i don t mean some fuckin air conditioned tent in alice springs trailing after kate fuckin middleton your all expenses paid vacay to the drc starts next week pal drop me a note yes i cocked an eyebrow like a boss and the bbc s deflector shield was down comments 1 comment tags malcolm tucker parody tony abbott categories 2014 alternate universe australian politics may writing an humble and a contrite heart 25 04 2014 cornelius wilhelm jäger cornelius was born in 1850 in hallgarten a village in the rheinland the third of 11 children of wilhelm jäger anna storzl i don t know why my great great grandparents swapped germany for the fledgling vineyards of the hunter valley all i know is that my great grandmother mary jäger was born in 1899 the 10th of cornelius children grandma mary died when i was 19 her hands gnarled with arthritis were a constant of my childhood it s only today that i wished i d asked her instead of my wwii vintage grandmothers to tell me about her wartime experiences in those yearly school assignments not only had she lived through all of australia s foreign wars my great grandmother was a hun it s not as if i was asked in a fawlty fashion to never mention the war our german ness was erased long before my birth in 1971 so when people criticise anzac day as the epitome of jingoism warmongering i think of that wizened old lady and what life must have been like for a 15 year old german girl in country nsw when war broke out what it was like to be part of an insular migrant community all of her uncles and aunts married other german immigrants reviled as belgian baby killers what it was like to think of cousins fighting for the fatherland what it was like to be the enemy what a strange pull of forces stanley richard portus uncle mickey was born on may 4 1925 according to his sister one of the grandmothers whose wartime experiences i gathered her lovely little brother was gobbled up by the air force as a teenager trained to fly in a few weeks sent off to fight the japanese in the skies over the pacific it is with no small shred of shame that i say i was terrified of the man who quivered and quavered when we visited the small house in mayfield he shared my great grandmother she would make tea on the wood burning stove and mickey s hands trembled as he held the cup in his hands mickey was the saddest person i have ever known his eyes watery held no light he spoke in the sense that he would answer when his mother sister or niece talked directly to him apart from that mickey sat at the kitchen table and stared at things that no one else could see god help anyone who knocks on that door after dark my mum would say he s got a rifle with a fixed bayonet in his bedroom and he d use it too it s not his fault he s like that he s got shell shock this was the 1980s we still said shell shock to describe post traumatic stress disorder to the best of my knowledge it was never treated mickey s life ended before he turned 20 but he heard the screams of japanese soldiers burning alive at the end of his flamethrower for another 60 years it may be sweet fitting to die for your country but to bury your self or your history in it that s hell comments leave a comment tags anzac day categories 2014 april war and conflict our greatest premier 21 04 2014 a dear friend compiled this list of neville wran s achievements and poses a worthy question was he our greatest premier founded the university of western sydney electrifying the railways to wollongong and newcastle saving the north coast forests aboriginal land rights act working with blewett on the aids response beds to the west including building mt druitt hospital all the great arts work for the suburbs and regions eg riverside theatre campbelltown city gallery created the powerhouse museum and wharf theatre gay law reform darling harbour anti discrimination act 1977 built the sydney football stadium nsw film and television office democratised the legislative council after a titanic constitutional battle with the dinosaurs appointed michael kirby as president of the court of appeal and mary gaudron as solictor general and qc first female in both appointed the state s first female minister created the dpp introduced avos introduced random breath testing passed the environmental planning and assessment act set up the land and environment court passed the heritage act and coastal protection act established the historic houses trust parramatta stadium sydney entertainment centre purchased all those ferries that we still have restored macquarie st and hyde park barracks the premiers literary awards sister state agreement with guangdong province commenced the new wings of the state library australian museum and art gallery of nsw opened in 1988 development of the old treasury building as an hotel modernised the coal industry new coal loaders and rail lines it s an impressive body of work which doesn t rely on but we passed hundreds of pieces of legislation as a measurement of good government the hon neville kenneth wran ac qc did things he invested in the future he protected our past he acted where others mouthed the words for fuck s sake the shitkansen takes as long to reach newcastle as it did when the line was electrified a great many last week judged a premier who signed up to an education package that delivered nsw more money as great and honourable all the while ignoring the fact that he took lifetime medical cover away from people who lose a leg below the knee in the workplace as acts of bastardry not political bastardry complete bastardry go that s right up there unless all political parties get rid of the cookie cutter hacks who are for an electorate spin me around and call me susan if there s a candidate who s against being elected the venal cyphers who think we are unworthy of the truth while they line their pockets abuse their influence reward their mates and generally take the fucking piss the timid and weak who follow opinion rather than establish the theme the empty shirts blathering endlessly to the cameras for next to no return we will never see the likes of neville wran again who am i kidding we are getting the public representatives at all levels and all shades of the spectrum that an exclusive pack of pricks with limited life experience choose for us the only time they speak their minds is when the system that suited them fine on the way up screws them on the way down wran had facets of each of these faults but set against the dreary small minds in the back seat of too large white cars he was a colossus enough vitriol time for a personal reflection on nifty the dapper qc the brilliant balmain boy who neve...
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