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s an unusual face that could look almost alien without the proper attention the makeup department s answer for this was to apparently slap a shit ton of makeup and eyeliner on her so she looked like a small town transgendered teenage prostitute and it s not like they were any nicer to the other ladies most noticeably katherine heigl who often looked like they had been chris browned right before the director started the scene 06 the slob the screeching harpy would anyone seriously have minded if the elevator ashton kutcher and lea michele were trapped in had plummeted towards the earth at 200 mph spontaneously ignited in flames and burned them to a crisp before the metal in the elevator crushed their skeletons into a thousand pieces upon impact 05 forced sentimentality i understand that in a pure crowd pleaser such as new year s eve you need some kind of emotional pull to balance out the comedy that s the nature of romantic comedies but this film was really grasping at straws to pull any and all sentimentality out of whatever random situation the script found itself in the entire movie josh duhamel s character yammers about two things this speech he has to make at a party and some girl he met the previous new year s eve that he may or may not meet again we find out he s the heir to some record label empire and he s making the speech at the company s new year s party when he does give the speech which he of course hasn t prepared for at all he for no reason other than to sneak a lot of sympathy mentions his dead father and starts tearing up the speech has absolutely nothing to do with his dad and is merely a subtle cue for him to stop whoring it up with the sluts after him who all seriously looked like 45 year old real housewives and go after the mystery girl and then there s halle berry whose mysterious new year s date is a video chat with her soldier husband in iraq come on did we really need to throw in the war for more drama and conflict shameless shameless shameless although it did give me an opportunity to make a joke in the theatre when the husband says i ve only got a couple months left i made the sound of a bomb exploding would you really put it past the makers of this film to have him die right before our very eyes i mean apparently the target audience is nicholas sparks fans as evidenced by the two sparks trailers before the movie 04 jon bon jovi is it 1988 again when did bon jovi become relevant again i have nothing against the man and he s not any worse than any of the atrocious actors in this movie but what can you talk about random inappropriate casting the dude is pushing 50 yet we re supposed to believe that not only 30 something katherine heigl is into him but also that he s this major rock star that teenage girls are willing to throw themselves at on what planet is bon jovi as desirable as justin bieber to fifteen year old girls just because you fucked underage sluts in the 80 s doesn t mean girls in 2011 know who the fuck you are grandpa 03 do you get the theme new year s eve is a chance to reflect on the past year the mistakes you ve made discern what you can improve on it s also an opportunity to wish for the future to hold out hope that the coming year will be your best ever and all your dreams will come true in case you didn t get this from the opening voiceover from either the swankinator or sarah jessica parker i m not sure you will hear it repeated ad nauseum from a host of characters old and young important and tertiary and then you ll hear the swankinator repeat it in a press conference after a problem with the ball is discovered which leads me to 02 the fucking ball why the fuck was everyone going on and on about that fucking ball it s not a goddamn metaphor for anything no matter how hard you try to make it one and why the fuck is there a problem with it isn t it set up the same way every year so much of the movie is consumed with the ball and it s really a lot of pointless wasted drama who gives a fuck 01 the script valentine s day wasn t a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but it was passable entertainment and i found it quite amusing in parts both that film and new year s eve share the same writer katherine fugate but in that year or so it s as if she has lost any sense of comedy she may have once had like i said before the film is literally devoid of jokes anything that s funny in the film is because of the actors and the actors alone they get absolutely no help from any other source i m sure valentine s day wasn t the laugh riot i m remembering it to be and i m sure it was just as unbearably saccharine sweet but something was obviously distracting from its awfulness and that something is nowhere to be found in the joyless painful script for new year s eve look i didn t expect the world from new year s eve but when you aren t even at the same level as valentine s day or bride wars for that matter you know there s a problem posted by dame james at 11 16 pm 1 comment labels film rants le cinema rom coms swankinator zac efron monday december 5 2011 short rants on crazy stupid love did phyllida lloyd secretly direct this movie not since mamma mia have i been filled with such irrational unexplainable hatred toward a star studded pure popcorn film from the very first frame until the last cringe inducing second crazy stupid love manages to dumb down a stellar intelligent cast with sitcom clichés and out of nowhere twists that even cbs would be embarrassed by include a lazy happy ending which wraps up complicated interpersonal issues into a neat and tidy bow and uphold prehistoric ideas about men and women s places in both society and relationships this last point is what sent me over the edge first of all according to the film the only way steve carell s character is able to recapture his manhood after his pending divorce is to follow the advice of ryan gosling a well dressed impeccably groomed chauvinist who brags about tricking dumb women into wanting to have sex with him the problem however is that we are supposed to respect gosling s character as his tricks work for carell and he becomes a close friend when everyone else has abandoned him to take his wife s side this becomes a major problem later on in the film when spoiler the girl gosling has been serious about turns out to be carell s daughter so he s a good enough guy to be your friend but now he s scum because he s dating your daughter who i must add is now old enough to have passed her fucking bar exam and become a lawyer how utterly disgusting that even in 2011 we still have major plot points in major films especially a comedy where a father feels he has the right to decide whom his adult daughter may or may not date but the gender politics in this film are merely the tip of the iceberg of what crazy stupid love gets so completely wrong do we have time to cover the film s boneheaded attempts to validate the 13 year old son s love for his 17 year old babysitter who is actually in love with carell s character but let s not get into that why on earth are we pretending that this 13 year old is any different than any other 13 year old boy who would stick it in the hole of anyone who gave them the slightest bit of attention because he s sensitive and intuitive you say fuck that he s an idiot just as nearly everyone else in this movie is emma stone remains unscathed by this hot mess love does indeed suck but not nearly as much as this movie f posted by dame james at 1 58 pm 1 comment labels emma stone film rants julianne moore le cinema ryan gosling steve carell friday december 2 2011 100 hot men and a dame 88 cam gigandet 88 cam gigandet occupation actor nationality american age 29 best known for terrorizing benjamin mckenzie on the o c and getting naked with a box of cookies alongside cher and floptina in burlesque and the hot men train keeps on rolling with the help of my friend mike follow him on twitter or read his blog as we discuss the first o c alum on the list dame james when did you first encounter cam and if it wasn t love at first sight when did you fall in love with him mike the first time i saw cam is probably the same for everyone when he appeared on the o c as kevin volchok to fulfill the marissa s new dark and broody boyfriend role because ryan was too busy sleeping with his adoptive mother s sister or whoever he was putting it in that season i don t think i paid too much attention to him at first i was too busy planning my wedding to perfect husband material seth adam brody but cam did spend 90 of the time on the o c shirtless so i was definitely aware of how ridiculously attractive he was he was a complete dick on the show but he could make trailer sex with a talking twig look hot and his fight scenes with benjamin mckenzie rivaled brokeback mountain for its latent gay tendencies then after his role on the o c came to an end it all went a bit quiet on the cam front until the equally homoerotic never back down dj i pretty much have to agree on everything you said here i was too busy focusing on seth cohen as well to notice cam s volchok on the first go around no doubt he was attractive but he was such a complete asshole to ryan whom i also loved i was torn i don t think it was until never back down that i really fell in love with cam he was also an asshole in that movie but since i didn t care about any of the other characters i relished him he was charming and sweet except for that scene where he beats up sean faris scrawny friend the best thing about that movie though his chest and it makes quite a few appearances thank the lord jesus you mentioned the homoeroticism that runs throughout his roles in the o c and never back down and i think that s an interesting point to make when you also think about his burlesque performance floptina thinks he s gay for the longest time and the film is generally gay and even twilight homoeroticism runs throughout his filmography why do you think that is especially for someone who is such a commercial actor also what do you think about him in burlesque m i hadn t actually thought about the fact that 90 of his roles have the gay connection maybe cam is in fact insert libellous claim here a gay plus he was in easy a which will inevitably become the next mean girls in terms of quotability among the gays and the roommate which i haven t had the pleasure of watching yet but looks ridiculously camp i eventually will because of leighton amazing meester but i wouldn t be too surprised if there was a homoerotic scene in the roommate with cam and matt lanter i thought burlesque was amazing as a whole and will one day be recognised as the defining musical of the 21st century cam was adequate enough in it i don t think he s ever really considered for a film on the basis of his acting talents the cookie box scene should have been enough to warrant an oscar nomination though really dj i don t mean to imply that cam s gay the fact that he has a long term girlfriend and a kid already implies otherwise usually but i always find it interesting when younger actors tackle those kinds of movies and roles he s clearly not in the same gay role league with nicholas hoult who macked on dudes in tv the stage and the movies almost just a couple years into his adult career yet cam s filmography is clearly veering towards the homoerotic and if you re expecting the roommate to be a campy gay classic you ll be sadly disappointed leighton s amazingness is suppressed and cam and matt lanter don t even share a scene together i hated burlesque with every fiber of my being but it was the first movie i think that showed off cam s personality he s always been a pretty face with impeccable abs but the acting has never matched then suddenly in burlesque he was funny charming warm and interesting words i had never used to describe him before the cookie box scene was a delicious moment that cemented my love for him it showed off all his best assets his playfulness his charm and most of all his abs an oscar nom may be a little much but i ll be damned if i won t defend him every chance i can any final thoughts on cam m oh i don t for one second think cam is actually gay it was just lots of wishful thinking dreaming on my part speaking of his other half how cute are all the photos of him and his daughter cam gigandet what a dilf slightly upset that the roommate isn t the campy gay classic it clearly started off as and cam and matt aren t in a scene together shirts optional means it probably does deserve every piece of vitriol it got i think with all his backlog of homoerotic roles it d be good to see cam actually play gay for real this time and have you seen the header photo from this website before i think i have a new screensaver hot damn now that is a gorgeous header what a way to make a first impression wouldn t you visit a site repeatedly that featured that image posted by dame james at 4 20 pm no comments labels 100 hot men and a dame boys boys boys cam gigandet the o c tuesday november 29 2011 crazy 80 s project hairspray as a big fan of director john waters the legendary divine and the musical adaptation of the film i m really surprised it has taken me this long to see the original hairspray but i have now remedied this situation and boy am i glad i did the story is the same as in every other incarnation plucky overweight teen tracy turnblad winds up on the popular teen dancing show the corny collins show and finds herself fighting against segregation in 1960 s baltimore although far less crude than earlier waters classics like female trouble and pink flamingos hairspray has its own peculiar charm which works in this family friendly at least for john waters film it s easy to see why hairspray was turned into a musical as the original is already so dependent on its soundtrack of 60 s hits to provide atmosphere the film is so fun and bouncy you hardly notice waters racial commentary sneaking its way into the film which was the 2007 version s only major flaw there s one scene in particular where tracy and link are making out behind a building and they utter ridiculous waters ian lines like our souls are black though our skin is white lines such as this give the race issue far more intrigue and depth than anything in the musical version all in all hairspray is simply a gloriously fun time and probably the only divine film i d let a child watch b posted by dame james at 8 53 pm no comments labels crazy 80 s project john waters le cinema friday november 25 2011 100 hot men and a dame 89 river viiperi 89 river viiperi occupation model nationality spanish age 20 best known for starring in ad campaigns for american eagle and calvin klein while landing the covers of magazines such as coitus and guapo all within a very short period of time for this installment of 100 hot men a dame i have my good friend kameron follow him on twitter and tumblr helping me out kameron and i met online a couple summers ago and as we u...
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