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ip s strength and will create beautiful memories little did i know whilst i was in canada the so called love of my life would continue to display characteristics i thought would long be gone by now characteristics that should disappear when you ve put so much into the commitment of another from great distance something that shouldn t be happening when this distance is finally closed and you have a long lovely month to appreciate each other s company i was wrong touching up girls in sexually inappropriate ways sending flirty sweet texts professing his love to girls who were not me this was not what i signed up for my mind was constantly thinking things over and spinning round in circles during my trip if he was doing this while i was living in his home what on earth was he like when i was back at mine on the other side of the world the demise of my trust for him was on its way and by the time i had arrived back home my trust was practically non existent hence i pushed us into arguments with lies that i couldn t return to canada just so i didn t have to deal with being called a whining complaining girlfriend for bringing such petty things up as i had experienced before he thinks we broke up because of the distance and the arguments in reality we broke up because i realized i didn t deserve to feel like an idiot considering i am usually an emotional wreck post any situation that causes the slightest bit of stress i have been recovering rather well over the past few months i had this vision of my recovery post breakup an aftermath of countless months lying in bed and a red puffy face stuffed with ice cream the reality has been significantly less movie esque my heart sometimes aches but instead of aching for him like i thought it would it is more a deep sadness that he stole a year of my life a year that could have been spent with someone who respected me enough to be faithful and wouldn t crush my self esteem in the process i have learnt a lot about long distance relationships and the ensuing breakups there are both pros and cons of having a breakup with a partner on the other side of the world whilst you re not going to bump into your ex and your surroundings are unlikely to remind you of them a relationship built so strongly on constant conversations and an emotional rather than a physical bond leaves you feeling empty inside when it is torn away something a simple rebound just cannot replace this however has forced me to seek new avenues to fill the void that is heartbreak i m planning my travels to new continents signed up for classes over the summer and i m bettering myself day by day by putting time into me rather than a dead relationship having no contact has helped a lot and is easier to maintain in a long distance breakup no contact allows you to distance yourself from the memories rather than constantly creating new ones through ongoing conversations with an ex partner about their new life without you simply block all avenues of online and mobile conversation and voila you are free from the unwarranted misery that drunk dialling facebook stalking can cause as i graduate and figure out my plans for traveling the world i ve realised i don t need my ex and i never did i have put things into perspective and realised that if we stayed together i would have moved to canada to be with him i would have been adopted by his friends adopted as a part of his life i wouldn t be making mine in long distance relationships there is always this notion of sacrifice i have learnt that although i m willing to sacrifice money and time for a long distance relationship i m not willing to sacrifice my dignity self respect or my life what s the biggest sacrifice you ve made to maintain a long distance relationship do you think recovery is easier or more difficult post ldr breakup copyright 2013 simply solo blog by catherine gryp all rights reserved 56 comments from uncategorized self worth vs true love january 8 2013 tags advice break up breakup dating finding love life loss love men people red flags relationship relationships resolutions self help simply solo spotlight single women hello and happy new year today s simply solo spotlight is written by sanika an 18 year old currently living in mumbai india sanika is about to head off to college in the uk to study journalism and recently started a blog of funny and emotional stories i hope you enjoy her guest post please show her some love in the comments quick shameless plug do you have a story to tell advice to offer did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it i d love to have you as the next simply solo spotlight find out how you can be the next writer for simply solo here simply solo spotlight self worth vs true love we have all gone through the internal struggle of trying to decide when to say enough is enough how many chances is one too many and trying to decide if the pain we are repeatedly subjected to is worth it simultaneously we have all made the mistake of not saying enough giving away too many chances and undervaluing ourselves whilst clinging onto the idea of the relationship recently i was able to think objectively about this after seeing someone else go through this struggle and what i saw both baffled and angered me first it is important to understand that at some point or another everyone is going to make a mistake in a relationship at the end of the day no matter how hard we try we are all human we make mistakes we say or do the wrong thing we take a lot of stuff for granted we don t give enough credit where it s due we get angry for petty reasons we cheat and lie our ego gets in the way so no one should be naïve enough to think that these things won t happen because they are too much in love to do anything that would hurt their significant other and vice versa the unanswerable question is how many times can we forgive mistakes there s no mathematical formula that links the number of mistakes pain caused by mistakes and happiness felt in the relationship to give you a final answer yes or no as to whether you should call it a day and move on we are all required to make one judgment call after the other and often our judgment is simply wrong something we all painfully realize in the end not surprisingly i ve seen that the more people value themselves and the more they believe they deserve the less bullshit they will tolerate in a relationship this makes perfect sense if you truly believe that you don t deserve to be treated a certain way and you truly believe that there is someone out there who won t subject you to this kind off hurt and confusion then why would you stick around for more of the same unfortunately very few people have enough confidence and faith to understand that most of us are lonely and we don t believe we are good enough for a number of things so we let too many things slide we let people hurt us and sometimes we even blame ourselves for others mistakes this is exactly what i saw happening and it made me sad angry and exasperated because no one deserves to be treated badly in exchange for the overrated comfort of a few good moments i wouldn t wish that on my worst enemy so to see it happening to my close friend well you can all imagine what that felt like so i just want to make a universal announcement right now we are all good enough we all deserve people that understand us with all our quirks and bad habits and insecurities and no one should have their heart broken repeatedly by the same person who doesn t know how to learn from their mistakes please don t be afraid to want more than that i know that being single can sometimes be lonely but it beats being hurt confused heartbroken and feeling lonely even when you are in a relationship i hope that this will help some of you to strive for the happiness of which you are worthy i hope that in the future if someone takes one too many swings at your heart you will know to point them toward the nearest exit how many times have you given someone a second third fourth chance how many chances do you think is acceptable before calling it quits copyright 2013 simply solo blog by catherine gryp all rights reserved 31 comments from uncategorized love lessons from alana stewart december 19 2012 tags advice alana stewart break up breakup dating divorce finding love life loss love marriage me men people relationship relationships self help single women several weeks ago i interviewed alana stewart about her new memoir rearview mirror alana is an international model actress talk show host and filmmaker alana has an interesting love history as she was previously married to actor george hamilton and singer songwriter rod stewart don the producer i met on the plane to los angeles earlier this year introduced us you may remember that don also set me up with an interview with supermodel beverly johnson many great love lessons in that post i ve been way too busy at work to focus on simply solo so it s taken me far too long to write up my interview i wanted to make sure i posted this before the holiday though because alana has some great advice to share and her life story is incredibly interesting maybe you know someone who would like this book as a stocking stuffer alana s life is truly a rags to riches story she grew up in a poor rural part of texas when she was 19 she was raped at knifepoint this experience gave alana the courage she needed to get away from texas move to new york and become a ford model according to the book s description rearview mirror chronicles alana s unstable chaotic childhood her traumatic sexual abuse and her struggles with bulimia depression and self confidence she also writes about her marriages and divorces with two iconic stars actor george hamilton and singer rod stewart raising three children on her own the devastating effects of drug addiction in her family and the tragic deaths of her mother as well as her best friend farrah fawcett alana and i spent much of our interview talking about surviving divorce and heartache a good amount of my book is about heartache alana told me some people think that if you are a celebrity you don t feel it as much it s always difficult to go through a breakup your heart is hurting and nothing makes you feel better one of the hardest parts of her divorces too was that she had to see her heartache plastered all over the magazines it s kind of humiliating she admitted what s the best cure for heartache alana told me that her breakup with rod stewart was transformational and incredibly hurtful for her she realized in the breakup that she had not dealt with many issues of her past and they all came back up during this particularly tough time alana met with a minister who told her if you get involved in any spiritual teaching and study for two years your life will change for the better after this alana used her breakup as an opportunity to heal herself spiritually through mediating and reading inspirational writings breaking the cycle i ve always been attracted to unavailable men alana admitted that she s always been attracted to unavailable men she has had a pattern of pursuing one man after another who wasn t available for a consistent stable nurturing relationship whether they were a workaholic alcoholic cheater whatever alana noted that we tend to seek out men who are like our fathers and that therapy and twelve step programs have helped in her journey to get to know herself and finally address the deep secrets she s kept her whole life therapy is helpful for anyone who has grown up around alcoholism or drug addiction therapy helped me understand my patterns twelve step programs changed my life hearing your own story in various forms over and over makes you feel less alone the result of all this work i think today i know what love is alana says i had no clue when i was younger i would fall passionately in love with someone but i didn t have a deep relationship with either of my husbands because i was emotionally unavailable myself what makes for a healthy relationship alana says the most important things you must have in your relationship include kindness respect and appreciation communication is also essential to a relationship the ability to talk to each other about yourselves your deepest feelings a relationship cannot be focused on the other person in an unhealthy way but in a healthy way you have to want the best in them and not want to change them you have to accept men as who they are and support them and celebrate who they are as opposed to looking for all the things that are wrong with them alana is currently single as we talked about marriage she said i don t think marriage is meant to last forever some may but sometimes i feel like marriage is to provide a lesson for you sometimes it s possible to learn your lesson and then move on alana s love lessons for simply solo readers the one thing i would advise is to get to know someone before you get involved alana said when i asked what love lessons she wanted to share with my readers if you get involved too quickly with someone without getting to know who he is you set yourself up for disappointment do something to help you grow as a person so many young women are looking for that man that man is the answer i don t think that any one person can ever be the answer you need to make yourself a more well rounded person not hope for someone else to fill in the spaces then you can meet someone copyright 2012 simply solo blog by catherine gryp all rights reserved 10 comments from uncategorized how to make friends after a breakup december 4 2012 tags advice break up breakup dating finding love friends friendship life loss love relationship relationships self help simply solo spotlight single women today s guest post is written by paul sanders author of the ebook get the friends you want paul teachers people how to overcome social hesitation and make friends in his ebook paul shares advanced strategies on how to meet new people talk to them in a way that makes them want to be your friend make plans that people will love to join you in all without doing too much work download it here get the friends you want risk free trial quick shameless plug do you have a story to tell advice to offer did you just have literally the worst date of your life and you must write about it i d love to have you as the next simply solo spotlight find out how you can be the next writer for simply solo here how to make friends after a breakup if you ve been through a breakup you probably know how lonely it can feel after he or she is no longer part of your life that void that your partner leaves behind starts to scare you and make you feel a little depressed the best way to avoid feeling that boring depressing void is to meet more friends more often but as it so often happens when you are in a relationship you tend to spend less and less time with your friends you barely have time for your cl...
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