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Text of the page (random words):
ark colors drawing your eye then the barren trees leading you along across to the birds oh such life such breath you can almost feel the chill of the air the crisp wind the color of the sky shifting as you go the sun blotted out by clouds swordheld 1699846907 anonymous sent hi your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him how do i continue living after this there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders swordheld said hello love this is so very sweet and kind of you and i hope you re treating yourself gently and kindly right now there aren t words for a loss like this that heaviness is difficult and hard and painful it s okay if things don t feel okay right now or even soon i think that s something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel like they should be able to get back to a relative normal in a insert far too short period of time but it s okay if it hurts that s where i d like to start you re allowed to feel that emptiness that world crashed feeling that goes beyond words beyond time don t feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better things get easier with time i promise you this but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel too cry scream feel your emotions they re a part of you grieve it s perhaps a little silly but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me and are popular for a wide reaching reason and while personally i don t know much about grief like this i do know a lot about love and i think they re a lot of the same thing the people we love are a part of us and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them because it does feel like we ve lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it but it s because they were so central to our experiences of living our lives that the separation introduces a hollowness a place where they used to be a home that now goes unlived in an emptiness like you said but just because they re not here physically doesn t mean he s not still there in your heart in your life your memory you can hold him close in smaller ways as well steal a sweater or cologne scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering hold onto the memories you cherish the things that made you laugh the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights write them all down slide a few photographs in there go through it and add more when you miss him keep them all close keep them in your heart you re not alone in this he s still there with you it s just in the little things he s with you in the way you see and go about your daily life in doing what he liked to do in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody an old bell laughter you d recognize anywhere but i think perhaps most importantly above all others talk about him with your family your friends his friends strangers stories are how we keep the people we love alive the connections they ve made the legacies and experiences they ve left behind and so so many stories how lucky we are to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go grief is the other side of the coin but it does not mean our love goes away it lives in you it lives in everyone who knew him in the smallest pieces of our lives the people we love never really leave us like this they re in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers our laundry in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls our photo albums they re in the way we store our mail organize our closets the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books the meals we love and the drinks we mix the way we spend time with one another they ve been passed down for generations for longer than history and we are all the luckier for it think about what you shared with him and do it intentionally bring him into your life like this again whether it s crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else if one doesn t help try another something might click i hope things feel a little easier for you as they tend to do only with time i hope you find joy in your grief even if it is small and hard to grasp at first know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn t a place to put it properly and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons and that it is also just simply yours sometimes things don t have to make sense sometimes they just are unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments as unfair and tragic as they come but i promise it will not feel like this forever your love is real and perhaps on where to begin on from here i think it s less on finding where to begin and just beginning and you ve already started you ve taken the most important and crucial step the first one wherever you go after that from here you ll figure it out you always have and you always do it ll come as things always do love leads us as does light and you re never alone in your hurt in your grief your missing something dear to you i think if you talk about it with others you ll find they have ways of helping you cope as well and they have so much love of their own to spare too as an aside here is the song northern star by dom fera i was listening to when i wrote this for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections and love and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us wonderfully and intrinsically it s a little more joyous than the others i ve mentioned and plays like a story and it made me think of what is at the core of this love and stories and i am here with you and maybe it ll bring you some joy if you d like it wishing you all my love and ease 117 notes q a birdsong wishing u gentle ease the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently 3 i hope this will make u laugh when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter can you imagine going out to get the mai after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets in the rain it makes me laugh like i really i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w that one train track and saturn just it s my fav s a l song for a reason that slow violin opening the piano coming in gentle and easy it feels like light like hope like something new a dawn after the long dark that beautiful things can begin again even where it hurts and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people with those we love i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you to have you in his life for the time you had together i m no spiritual person but i like to believe when you re thinking about him he s thinking about you too the second law of thermodynamics physics nerd mode is that no energy has ever been created destroyed since the beginning of the universe so it has to go somewhere it s that carl sagan quote of we re all made of stardust because we are we used to be stars planets etc i think it s why i think of these space songs because they re a part of everything once more when they go us and everything else firstfullmoon 1696098454 this vievee francis saying the poem won t be ruined if you let us in boykeats id tweet from brian tierney bttierney85 reading tracy k smith once told me i should strive to end poems by opening a door outward not closing one and now it happily haunts every poem i try to write end id 4 079 notes tracy k smith on poetry this haunts me haunts me bc it is about the open endings it s about leaving your scarf behind for to come back later for it s about remembering knowing there is something more outside of the poem inside the poem that wants to be seen reflected named more than the words themselves more than the story more more the real question is can i bear it and the answer is no yes swordheld 1695941283 anonymous sent hello do u have any new music recommendations swordheld said of course going to throw some general pop indie rock instrumental all over vibes at you these are some of the ones that i ve been having on repeat a lot lately because they bring something bright and fun into my days hope you enjoy them if i m honest trousdale oh the absolute vibes of this one the harmonies the beat the slow downs and build ups that ending it s like easy slow growing ease and joy that point ¾ of the ways through the song that building of things the payoff those background horns the drums i cannot sit through it without some kind of air guitar drums chair dance type beat it s too good that you cannot help it it just goes so hard close one fizz i have been writing so much love poetry to this song it is soft and slow and serene like light all golden hour the soft golden hues of almost of here like this with me that little fuck it before the chorus is so fun this group is made of insanely popular individuals dodie orla gartland greta isaac martin luke brown and together they are so powerful cannot wait to see what they create next run maisie peters there is such a fun vibe to this song that line of the chorus that i ve been lied to i ve been cut and deleted i ve heard some things i will leave unrepeated is sooooo good that rhyme scheme that syllable count balance it immediately went onto my writing playlist w that fun beat that synth that catchy repetition the whole album this comes off of is so very good too esp the band and i i really enjoy her sound like a brother hey nothing this song feels like a lullaby in the way of being swung in a hammock all late summer early winter winds but there is such a lyricism that gets stuck in my brain the whole layout of the chorus and is just so soft i feel so many things another easy one for the poetry playlist margo sally boy oh the orchestral string opening the easy flow of it instrumental and light before hitting that small bit of silence before the guitar and lyrics come in and then the absolute hit that is the beat of the chorus hitting obsessed phenomenal i love the balance of gentle light instruments and the slow instruction of the drumbeat it feels like a whole story that you can experience the flow of it eightball girl maddie zahm i can leave this song for a few days and then out of nowhere it ll just be in my head again the vibes of it that beat of the chorus the layered voice effects sometimes songs have this balance to them that my brain just sucks up like a sponge and this is one of them soooo good i ll be in the supermarket and my brain will just go eightball girllll tell me how you feel about meeee and it s perfect snow angel reneé rapp this was one of the first ones i found on my daylist that was just like how did i go so long without you how did i not know about you and since then it s been a daily listen the slow gentle breeze of that beginning there is such a rising and falling to this song like seasons like the breeze all tide all here and there and back again all resilience and ferocity softness and violence that electric guitar and the piano and the feedback just makes me want to just aaaaaaa this whole album is just banger after banger too grace henrik it s so fun it brings me so much joy and energy the easy breezy pop vibes it s so hopeful and gentle and loving i have it set as my alarm rn because i really do think it ll last through the sisyphean task of getting me out of bed in the mornings it just feels like sunlight 170 notes q a birdsong music recs i have not been immune to the impact of the daylist introduction spotify will tell u i am obsessed some of these artists have only like 20k listeners and i m just amazed flabbergasted like they re sooooo good anyway music continues to be something i love and live to enjoy artists u have my whole heart went through my liked songs to look for the recent hits for this and i think i ve saved like 200 in the last week and a half love it hope u enjoy them babes lemme kno if ur lookin for more or anything more specific 33 thehappysmiler 1695936639 good god 63 894 notes stories i need something to find you by i need to see you i don t want to just walk by i am going to go gently feral oh my gosh oh the need to bee seen not only for yourself but to give others something to find you by you have to be a lighthouse you have to draw in light in order to give it out and give it away random brushstrokes 1695850254 betye saar mystic window for leo 1969 11 666 notes art doors what is stopping you from looking like this to have constellations not only on your ceilings but on your portals between things your entrances and leavings to hold the wonder of the world with you as you come and go magical mystical wanna paint my door rn love the almost mosaic element to it too it feels very constellation like the split togetherness of things girlfictions 1695763856 5 895 notes aimee nezhukumatathil from baked goods poetry aimee nezhukumatathil a kitchen wrecked with love the synonyms of a violence so light it could parallel the softest thing let us never be rescued from this mess oh it is about holding even the most domestic of things close of feeling every moment of it as something momentous and joyous the easy hold of normalcy and what it is to break out of it finneroo 1695677450 i am a violin maker learning to tattoo so here is a banana with the decoration from the hellier strad violin 101 218 notes art tattoos narrowly avoiding by the skin of my teeth getting this style of a tattoo it just looks amazing op your balance and skill the thinness of some of the lines like calligraphy art on art on art swordheld 1695575233 do the silly thing if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been it will still be silly and it will still be yours but it will not be the same this is both a blessing and a curse but so is living and if you do not do it now when will you who will it has to be you it was always meant for you waiting for you 2 333 notes this is about writing for me but could be about anything that is not hurtful to urself or others very important that s why it is silly affectionate or cringey affectionate like u gotta just let ...
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