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description= Reflections on books and art;
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ho s come to repossess his coupe faithful pal and servant since 1934 and so very reluctantly agrees he lies down in the ditch as instructed is shown his action hears the car s engines being turned on hears action does his bit and hears the car coming closer then blacks out when he comes to he s alone in the darkness under the stars still encased in the iron brace what after yelling his head off for a while a security guard comes and helps him up the guard explains that on its approach to his position the car went over a bump rolled over and broke the star s leg at which point all hell broke loose and the shoot was abandoned everyone either accompanying the star to hospital or packing up and going home they all forgot about pat who had passed out with fear this like the orson welles story comes close to failing i think it s because the contrivance is bigger than the laughs you can see the joins you can hear fitzgerald straining to make something out of it like a lot of fitzgerald it has many colourful parts which don t quite gel 10 pat hobby s preview october 1940 pat is in jack berner s office who s telling him they re going to take his name off a movie which is just about to be released this is because the main writer ward wainwright is furious that pat changed a few words and gets a credit berners promises to do what he can and tells pat he ll get him tickets to the preview but to avoid wainwright out in the studio he sees a young woman obviously lost and pulls her back out of the way of a passing lorry she is sweet and innocent eleanor carter from boise idaho he gives her a tour spouting reams of lies claims to have written all the recent hits an interesting list captains courageous 1937 the awful truth 1937 test pilot 1938 mr smith goes to washington 1939 wuthering heights 1939 he genuinely impresses her by using his name to be admitted to a stage where a film is being shot and they watch ronald colman rehearsing then he remembers he has tickets to a preview tonight would she like to come along she says yes and pat becomes excited enough to consider getting a room for the day and trying to seduce her but she just wants to get her haircut and he lets her go promising to meet tonight back at berner s office the secretary gives him tickets to the preview but explains they re actually wainwright ward s that he returned in disgust pat goes to the lavish expense of buying a two dollar shirt and picks up eleanor at her apartment he tries out the old line about getting her a screen test and she s innocently excited he takes her to dinner unwisely downing six whiskeys beforehand they arrive at the movie theatre and press through the throng and eleanor clings to him and some fans thrust autograph books in front of them but that s the high point when he hands over the tickets a security guard points out they re not for this premier at all but for some burlesque show downtown nothing pat can do will budge him and so they re forbidden entrance but at this moment of defeat when some in the crowd of onlookers are at risk of starting to jeer who should stride out of the theatre door than the movie s angry author ward wainwright he spots pat and hands him his own ticket stubs and sorts it out with security assuring them that pat is in fact the author no way is eleanor carter from boise idaho going to allow pat hobby anything more than a doorstep kiss but as the crowd parts to let them into the theatre she briefly feels like a genuine star 11 no harm trying november 1940 pat is slumped in his apartment which sits atop a delicatessen when his reluctant landlord delivers a phone message from a carl le vigne at the studio when pat motors in expecting a job instead le vigne tells him his wife of three brief weeks years ago estelle is in hospital tried to slash her wrists turns out estelle was the best script girl on the lot back in the day and so for old time s sake they re willing to take pat on at 250 a week for three weeks provided 150 of it goes to estelle s hospital bills it s a sinecure he won t be expected to do any work this is the first time he s ever been paid to do nothing and it makes him wonder how many other of the confident strollers round the studios are in a similar position one lunchtime he sits down opposite a pretty blonde named lizzette starheim a violet eyed little blonde with an ill concealed air of disillusion she soon leaves and pat moves over to talk to a director dutch waggoner who angrily tells him he s on contract but hasn t done anything for 6 months back in the office pat and eric the callboy discuss other types who are on a retainer but not working eric darkly says there s a big shakeup coming at the studio and he expects money man harmon shaver to take over also he has a couple of good script ideas himself pat takes one of eric s ideas rounds up lizette waggoner and an unemployed superviser jeff manfred and they go pitch the idea to this shaver who claims to love it pat goes to see his ex wife estelle hobby devlin in hospital she worshipped him till she found out what a poor lover he is turns out he has a motive he asks estelle to work on the script he s developing he ll send someone round with the draft and a typewriter what pat doesn t realise is that shaver is going to use the project pat has cobbled together as his vehicle for overthrowing current studio head le vigne he calls the latter to a meeting and presents his team he has the script read to him for a whole hour but then comes the comeuppance for one by one le vigne reveals the weaknesses of the whole team miss starheim can only speak three sentences of english waggoner is a drug addict who crumbles under pressure manfred is only here because he s behrer s wife s cousin he hasn t done anything since the silent era and as for pat hobby well all in all mr shaver you have bought a lot of condemned building material his coup attempt has failed the punchline is disappointing le vigne takes pat back to his office and gets him to admit the idea for the movie script he s just heard came from eric the callboy the kid s got talent he s going to put him on a retainer ok is that all 12 a patriotic short december 1940 jack berners hires pat to smarten up an existing script for a short movie about the career of general fitzhugh lee who fought for the confederacy and later pardoned by the president fights for the usa against spain he answers to ben brown head of the shorts department the word president jogs pat s memory his spasmodic work on the script adding clichéd bits of dialogue or direction is interspersed with memories of the time a real live us president came and visited the studio hosted by pat s neighbour mr maranda pat was invited to lunch and exchanged a few banalities with the great man later he snuck out of his house round the hedge to maranda s his neighbour s place and came face to face with the president again and was reintroduced my god those were the days by contrast back in the present pat goes to the water cooler to get a cup of water just as some big cheeses jack berners ben brown and several other executives come walking down the hall in a mob around a gorgeous young woman who is the girl of the moment the it girl the oomph girl the glamour girl the girl for whose services every studio was in violent competition but instead of breaking up to pass pat the mob continues straight towards him and he has to press himself flat against the wall so as not to be run over berners has the decency to throw a scanty hi pat over his shoulders but the others don t even bother quivering with rage and humiliation pat goes back to his desk where he adds a new bit of dialogue to the script which he knows will be cut but which expresses his feelings lee mr president you can take your commission and go straight to hell i imagine and shove it would be the modern phrasing then he bends over his desk and bursts into tears see what i mean by bitter sweet maybe the angry line he types out at the end is sort of funny but maybe not 13 on the trail of pat hobby january 1941 it s been a lean three months for pat and he s been forced to moonlight as a night clerk for the selecto tourists cabins next time he drops by the studio he is embarrassed by two things one he wants to comb his hair but the mirrors have been removed from the gents loos so he calls in the office of a rare woman writer bee mcilvaine she tells him there s a reward offered for the title of movie that s about to start shooting but lacks a title 50 to the winner when pat asks what it s about bee says high jinks in tourists cabins pat jumps like a guilty thing and runs out not only does he not want anyone to know about his job but there was a spot of bother a raid on some guests pat did nothing wrong but the cops said they d need him as a witness so at the first opportunity he bolted out the back door ran down back roads and hitch hiked back into la he s come to the studio because he feels safe here he wanted a mirror to comb his thinning hair now he wants a hat to make himself and to feel more respectable so pat steals one he goes to the canteen cloakroom and carefully selects an anonymous looking grey homburg hat it fits just fine and he saunters out feeling much calmer until he drops into his sometime boss jack berner s office since jack is out he has a nice nap on his couch he s woken when jack returns in a stinking temper he and all the other department heads were called into an emergency meeting only to discover it s because someone has stolen the head of the studio s grey homburg hat momentarily panic stricken pat rises and says goodbye as confidently as he can in a daze pat wandered to the door hey said berners don t forget your hat drunk pat returns to bee s office she s still struggling to come up with a title and after listening to pat rambling on is worried he might pass out there she calls jack to come and together they go through sheaves of bad ideas before pat drunkenly mumbles grand motel berners immediately likes it pat insists he actually said grand hotel but jack says he s going to give him the 50 reward as pat drunkenly shambles out clutching the stolen hat this this felt a bit incoherent it has lots of pieces which don t really add up 14 fun in an artist s studio february 1941 hollywood social history it did not even look like the kind of party that pat had known in his prosperous days there was not so much as a drunk passed out in the downstairs toilet a visiting fine artist the princess dignanni decides she wants to paint pat he is very characteristic so he s invited to a party at mr detinc s grand house to meet her pat is a philistine his most memorable exposure to art was when as an impressionable young man he had looked through a peep hole into a machine where two dozen postcards slapped before his eyes in sequence the story unfolded was fun in an artist s studio next day he turns up at the princess s studio already a bit drunk and asks for another drink the princess is unhappy because she wanted to paint him looking desperate for a drink pat sits still for a bit on a stool and she starts painting but he soon gets fidgety apart from anything else he has a bet on the 3 o clock at santa anita pat fancies her he makes a fool of himself by taking his shirt off when she expresses interest in it she is interested in him because he is such a vivid loser pat keeps on flirting asking her to slip into something more comfortable and sit on the sofa with him pat takes off his shoes and is just loosening his suspenders when the princess calls out for the officer all this time there s been a police officer on the stairs who now stands in the doorway looking at the incredibly guilty pat but instead of having him thrown out the princess takes a subtler revenge she tells the security guard that pat has been lent to him by the very powerful mr detinc to pose nude for her and is proving reluctant so the touch guard turns to pat and tells him to strip naked a few minutes later pat is naked as the day he was born and woe begone and this is exactly the expression of the humiliated loser the princess was after all the time 15 two old timers march 1941 at 5 on morning pat is in a car collision with phil macedon once the star of stars smelling alcohol sergeant gaspar takes them both to the station the sergeant respects macedon because he starred in a silent movie made about the war which really captured what it was like gaspar served in the war and took his wife to see the movie to make her understand pat he despises the point of the story is that pat happens to have been on set back in 1920 something when the movie was made in fact on the very morning that the foxhole was dig on a back lot the director forced macedon to get into an army uniform which didn t fit and then more or less flung him into this shellhole and how macedon couldn t get out and was shouting and screaming at the director and the assistants but every time he scrambled up so high he would slip and fall back to the bottom the footage of him yelling and sliding down was then intercut with footage of artillery and shells landing to create a realistic effect macedon suavely pretends that none of this true that pat is talking about some other actor and some other movie they ve all been waiting for the captain of police to arrive when he comes he orders them to take blood alcohol tests macedon is then retained till friends come to bail him while because his car is broken down sergeant gaspar offers to drive pat home his account of how the war film was made has shaken him is that all true you said in the station gaspar asked about how they put him in the hole sure it is said pat that guy needn t have been so upstage he s just an old timer like me there s all the stuff about the car crash and pat and the actor s relationship out front of this story but the real content is the implied impact on the police sergeant of understanding for the first time just how utterly fake the movies are and he had placed a lot of value on it and on the effect it had on his wife in helping her to understand what he had been through and all fake this feels a bit deeper than any of the other hobby stories and hints at the depths found in so many of fitzgerald s earlier much better short stories the introduction quotes a letter in which fitzgerald says that this actually happened this was how the big parade was made when director king vidor pushed actor john gilbert into a hole 16 mightier than the sword april 1941 at a shoeshine stand pat witnesses a director dick dale have an argument with a fancy eastern writer e brunswick hudson who doesn t understand why his script has been rejected and why he s been sacked hudson stomps off pat offers a few truisms and dick who doesn t know him asks him if he wants a job pat can t believe it when he offers him 350 a week in the month that follows pat and dick s script girl mabel hatman attend on him while he concoct...
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