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Text of the page (random words):
ems to think they re an expert and to want to share their experience and advice with you often in a fairly dogmatic way or at least that s how it can come across to someone who takes what others say as fact at the expense of her own feelings and desires a lot of the time now i know these friendly comments are only shared with the best of intentions but it can be quite anxiety provoking take one trivial example i went for a pregnancy massage which was lovely and i can t wait to have another but the therapist commented more than once how small my bump was and how she couldn t believe i was 5 months pregnant cue me then spending hours examining my bump in the mirror comparing it to pictures on instagram worrying that i was too small for my stage and that the only natural conclusion must be that baby wasn t growing correctly and that something was wrong the apparent smallness or otherwise of my bump except when measured by the midwife with her special tape measure is merely a matter of opinion it is a belief and not most importantly a fact every woman carries their unborn child differently the massage therapist was merely expressing her opinion which does not and should not be binding or persuasive to me it is merely her perception and i can take it or leave it depending on whether it is helpful to me i try and deal with other people s opinions and advice in two ways 1 remembering an opinion is not a fact and 2 by building my self confidence so my own opinions carry more weight in my mind remembering the distinction between fact and opinion has been important as i have felt at times a bit bombarded by negative messages from well meaning friends and medical professionals alike just because a friend wanted an epidural to reduce the fatigue of labour does not mean i will necessarily need one just because a doctor thinks breastfeeding and me cfs are incompatible does not mean i shouldn t breastfeed which incidentally is not something i am willing to give up on without trying here i give just two examples there have been many others all these nuggets of information negative messages so to speak clog up my brain and rapidly eat away at my original thoughts and desires demoralising me and stressing me which of course does nothing to tame my me cfs i don t pretend to know everything and i don t flippantly disregard the advice of others and especially not those of medical professionals but as fellow me cfs sufferers will attest so often the medical profession is found lacking regards care management of our condition leaving us feeling that we know our own bodies best i am not arrogant and believe i know best in fact i think that the fear of coming across as arrogant fear of what other people think has worked to quash my self confidence for so long my aim now more than ever is to cultivate a mindset of quiet confidence so that i can internally review advice that i receive do my own research where necessary and ultimately make a choice that feels right to me with a cool calm head rather than acting out of fear or in a haze of self doubt and so i have worked to build my own self confidence using simple techniques the easiest for me is a visualisation when i become aware of a negative voice reverberating around in my head i stop it by pausing and breathing i make a conscious choice to change the voice when i ve been feeling overwhelmed and disheartened by other people s comments i have felt the need to exert myself not literally in their face they are nowhere near at this point but instead i want to radiate a calm confidence and to me confidence is about standing tall with your head held high the image i create in my mind that encapsulates this tall confidence is a wise old oak tree in a forest he who stands so tall strong and sure of himself i see myself standing so tiny at the foot of the tree looking up in awe at its great height the breeze fluttering its green leaves the sunlight filtering through its canopy way above its rough trunk so strong and safe its roots burrowing deep into the earth holding it steady i can smell the crisp fresh dewy air of the early morning forest leaves crunch under foot as i walk and the oak tree is cool calm and confident i see myself grow and morph into the tree taking on all its characteristics feeling myself grounded by deep roots and enlivened by the sun s energy on my face as i stand tall above other trees in the forest i am strong and steady as birds fly by and perch on a branch but i remain true to myself i am strong and confident yet open to possibility i use this in the context of the lightning process but visualisation is powerful and can easily be used on its own and it definitely works for issues other than pregnancy it can be used any time you feel you need a little boost in confidence and self esteem to stand a little taller as it were my mind can be my greatest ally through this pregnancy journey in the same way as it became my greatest tool in combatting my me cfs but it s not easy and it will take awareness and perseverance for now i will simply go back to my oak tree share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading tags 25 weeks pregnant belief confidence me cfs nlp opinion pregnancy self esteem visualisation comments 6 comments categories life with me lightning process my story n l p pregnancy stress anxiety stress less me cfs maternity care 25 jun bump at 24 weeks jess bruce 2016 it has been quite a week here in the uk with apocalyptic rain storms and shock referendum results i ve been at my parents house avoiding the fallout of the brexit vote and also the paint and decorating dust of our home improvement works i saw my tummy move for the first time this week from the baby s movements which was so weird but also amazing it really is incredible feeling the baby move more and more inside me i can t wait for the movements to increase that bit more so mr b can see and feel them too i just wanted to say following on from my post last week that although my me cfs is certainly more active with increases in symptoms at varying points during my pregnancy it is still totally manageable and i still consider myself very lucky and am very grateful that my body is coping as well as it is with my pregnancy i ll save pregnancy symptoms for a separate post but i am getting off pretty lightly so far at least compared with many other entirely well i e without a chronic illness women in terms of the typical symptoms of pregnancy so anyway onto today s post despite my medical history i am classed as a low risk pregnancy hurrah though there are some extra considerations that have been raised that i will share now pregnancy in terms of pregnancy care due to my medical history i was referred to an obstetrician consultant by the midwife at the start of my pregnancy this served to give an overview of the issues we needed to consider due to my me cfs i am having extra growth scans to keep a closer eye on the baby s progress and having my thyroid function checked every 4 weeks i came off my thyroxine before conceiving and so far my levels are within the normal range but if it drops too far i will have to go back on it thyroxine is safe to take when pregnant and as your thyroid is vital to a baby s growth in the uterus it is important to have it monitored when there is a history of underactive thyroid as there is with me beyond that i am having standard maternity care having been seen by the midwife at 8 and 16 weeks so far with my next appointment this coming week at 25 weeks in my area you are not assigned a specific midwife and instead they operate as a team some of them seem very clued up on what me cfs is whereas others it is less so so you re just extra tired then was what the midwife at 16 weeks said but that sadly is often the greeting you get in mainstream medicine about me cfs so it wasn t a massive surprise the other midwives and obstetrician have been much more informed birth the obstetrician consultant explained that where fatigue is in the mother s history they tend to advise earlier admittance to hospital during labour so that pain relief can be administered earlier as pain is obviously highly depleting in terms of energy and if fatigue is a concern then extra measures need to be taken in order to conserve energy for the actual delivery stage of labour that said my preference is for a natural birth mr b and i attended a hypnobirthing workshop last weekend more on that in a future post we both found it very empowering and informative i think mr b was surprised by how useful he found it he was pretty sceptical beforehand hypnobirthing comes from the same science and neurology as the lightning process which has helped me so much with my me cfs recovery so it is something i feel very comfortable and confident using adrenaline and cortisol are highly depleting in terms of energy and also inhibit cervical dilation so i will be aiming to use all the tools i have learnt to keep my stress levels and consequently pain and fatigue as under control as possible but we will see how things go everyone says it s important to not be too tightly set on a certain birth plan as birth has the tendency to go its own way and do the unexpected so if an epidural is necessary due to my fatigue levels or otherwise then so be it the obstetrician also advised against an elective c section given labour is called labour for a reason it is not exactly a walk in the park i had thought perhaps an elective c section would be recommended but whilst this would obviously help with fatigue management at the actual birth it is major surgery and relapse rates of me cfs following surgery are far higher than after a vaginal delivery a woman s body even one with me cfs is designed to deliver a baby it is not designed to be cut open through major invasive abdominal surgery and as i am learning through my pregnancy my body is amazingly resilient and adaptable post partum regardless of the type of birth a new mum who has me cfs may need more help post birth in order to pace herself and to cope with the normal post delivery fatigue and of course the tiredness of having a new bundle of joy to care for at home it is that first month or so when the mother is most depleted and vulnerable to me cfs resurfacing that extra support needs to be considered prevention and pre emptive action is very much key here in our case mr b may take extended paternity leave my mum is lined up to help and we are looking into post natal doulas and sleep nannies we will have to keep our inner circle pretty small limiting social visits in the early weeks months both in frequency and duration to keep my activity fatigue and stress levels at the lowest level possible again a newborn is unpredictable so our approach is to have different plans in place as options and then to do what feels right and necessary at the time and to adapt as we need to i think that covers most of what we have discovered so far i ll update this post as we learn more if anyone has anything to add in terms of pregnancy birth or life with a newborn from an me cfs perspective or otherwise please share in the comments below if you would like more information you can order information leaflets which i have found very helpful from the u k m e association they also run online forums for parents with me cfs and have a helpline to read more about how being pregnant is affecting my me cfs see this post share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print like loading tags 24 weeks baby birth chronic illness and pregnancy maternity care newborn pregnancy thyroid comments 10 comments categories life with me my story pregnancy older entries the stepping stones of life with m e c f s welcome to my blog here you ll find posts about how i manage my life with the illness me cfs using food and nutrition yoga and meditation and n l p thanks for visiting jess x follow blog via email enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email email address follow instagram natural_jess no instagram images were found join me on facebook join me on facebook categories awards baking beating the flu books breakfast chocolate dairy free desserts diet dinner emotions fish general gluten free gratitude positivity headaches ibs ibs gastro inspiration life with me lightning process management me cfs awareness meditation mindfulness my life in pictures my story n l p pacing philadelphia planning pregnancy reblogs recipes rest reviews sleep smile snacks light lunches strategies stress anxiety stress less travelling treatments ups downs vegetarian wedding wellness wheelchair yoga recent posts time flies growing in confidence me cfs maternity care an me cfs pregnancy big news post archives post archives select month july 2016 2 june 2016 3 march 2016 1 february 2016 8 january 2016 5 november 2015 2 october 2015 3 september 2015 5 august 2015 2 april 2015 2 march 2015 6 february 2015 6 january 2015 8 december 2014 7 november 2014 4 june 2014 1 january 2014 8 december 2013 3 november 2013 1 october 2013 13 september 2013 14 august 2013 14 july 2013 15 june 2013 16 may 2013 14 april 2013 18 march 2013 18 february 2013 16 january 2013 14 post categories post categories select category awards 5 diet 28 dairy free 9 gluten free 17 emotions 44 personality 3 smile 25 general 23 inspiration 44 life with me 47 misunderstanding 2 management 10 me cfs awareness 7 my life in pictures 10 my story 97 doctors visits 3 health reviews 2 pregnancy 5 ups downs 38 philadelphia 13 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