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description= Comments (not exactly) from our first African American President;
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oses welcome to the jungle when i drove past the cops i was asking for it the natural order of things can be in disarray for only so long and then i remembered reading about the woman who escaped death by missing the air france flight that crashed in the atlantic but then died in a car crash last week and then i remembered reading about the dude who left his job at merril lynch s world trade center offices on sept 10th 2001 many of his colleagues perished but was on american airlines flight 587 which crashed on its way to the dominican republic on november 12 2001 then i realized that yeah ticket is a pain in the ass but it s petty and i really just need to slow my roll lest i upset the balance in natural order of things posted in random rant tags brooklyn franklin ave nyc nypd tickets traffic tickets anti hip hop rap may 31 2009 4 comments not that hip hop necessarily has a political stance but when some of rap music s early seminal moments were defined by grandmaster flash and the furious five run dmc public enemy and krs one launching bombs at reagan era politics this shit is disgusting i think rappers need to consider issuing death sentence fatwas on muhfuckers who disrespect the art like this what s not surprising is that this is probably the worst attempt at rapping ever what is surprising is that it is not a parody i don t know if this is a part of michael steele s attempt to take the heezy it to the suburban urban streets or whatever the fuck he s trying to do but i think even rush limbaugh in the throes of a vicodin bender would be embarrassed of this shit if i were barack obama i d release this statement seriously this shit you want me to comment on this shit fuck ok uh look the only good thing about this shit is that it ends at 3 36 not 4 38 and what the fuck is that superman shit at 2 52 i love how conservatives try to paint me as a socialist not really knowing what a socialist is meanwhile under previous republican administrations corporate and elite socialism ran unchecked with the richest individuals and businesses getting massive tax cuts to supposedly benefit the country and our economy you all know how that turned out and why the fuck is everyone jocking ayn rand s atlas shrugged i guarantee you that less than 1 of the assholes who talk all that john galt shit have actually read the book i know cuz i m yet to finish it and i ain t no fucking joke oh and fuck yo ipod jokes posted in fucking with michael steele ghetto satire hip hop piyush race shock g vs bubba sparxxx tags african american political humor african american satire ayn rand michael steele political humor rush limbaugh the history of weed may 27 2009 1 comment who doesn t like a little history lesson with their television series promotion posted in uncategorized honorary negroeship for auction on ebay may 22 2009 leave a comment thanks to allana from the comments section it was only a matter of time until a black person tried to capitalize off of this it s a great time to be black in america ain t it barack obama oprah hip hop high unemployment for everyone if you re melanin challenged do you want to make be left out of this incredible moment in history larry king s son doesn t but that s because he s not eminem or pau gasol a blogger from the west coast is auctioning off an honorary blackness certificate complete with authentication by the 1980 s bepermed rev al sharpton from the ebay listing the winner of this auction will receive a signed certificate in a strong mahogany frame proclaiming him or her an honorary black person the winner will also receive gibson s secret guide to being black an easy to follow 10 step guide to being down in no time see excerpt below roffle strong mahogany frame the bidding starts at 10 and no one has staked a claim on it yet but there s 7 days left you would think that some hipsters would have already seen the irony in it and driven the price sky high but then there s the economy keeping wallets shut oh and the fact that freely priced markets never lie no matter how good some of us have it there s probably no fair price for taking on the extra burden of being black in this country i hope he s paying rev al on commission if i were barack obama i d release this statement uh i ve already given a speech on race relations in this country that certificate of honorary blackness is cute real cute but look there s no white america or black america there s the united states of america by embracing our differences while understanding that our similarities are what make us a great nation we can all come to a common ground where we can move this country forward without the distractions of bigotry in the meantime any white person who wants to slap on some extra spray tan and be barack obama for a day without my secret service detail is welcomed to it edit irony of ironies at first i didn t pay attention to that huffpo page i linked to about larry king s son but when i went back to close the tab i noticed this as the banner ad who needs a blackness certificate when jungle fever is for sale posted in general humor ghetto satire race tags african american political humor african american satire al sharpton barack obama honorary black person political humor crack clouds over nyc may 19 2009 6 comments courtesy of gabe of army of gabe fame his site has been shuttered who co wrote bling with combat jack these crackheads talk you through what it feels like to smoke that rock the thing that kills me is that the one dude admits to not having sex or an erection in 3 months which obviously precludes sex cuz he s just been chasing the rock like that and he wistfully describes the white house as a big magical crack rock kind of back when this was taped the internet a black president and a middle class person barely being able afford to live in hell s kitchen could have only been in a crackhead s dream posted in drug laws fucking with michael steele general humor tags african american political humor african american satire banana republic crack crack rocks hell s kitchen craigslist cyber pimp may 18 2009 2 comments speaking of no full release i always figured the erotic services space on craigslist was much like the back pages of the village voice somebody obviously finds it useful because it it s there but chances are you re less likely to find julia roberts and more likely to find yourself with a nuclear strength venereal disease and or beat up and robbed by some dude in pantyhose so it was no surprise to me when someone used craigslist ads to start dropping bodies left and right actually it was only one body but that was enough to earn the nickname craiglist killer and that sexy nickname was all the media needed to put the story on heavy rotation unless you re a rapper it s never good when then name of your your neighborhood or business is followed by killer or slasher or strangler the cops already had it in for craigslist it was probably about a year ago when i read a nyt article about cops going after prostitutes who were hawking their panties there the cops said that the online classifieds site had become a haven for illicit sexual activity so when phillip markoff allegedly donned his craigslist killer mask he gave authorities exactly what they needed to come down on them even harder naturally craigslist cooperated to help catch the killer but while the investigation was ongoing law enforcement officials from around the country put extra pressure on them to do something about their online brothel so they did they renamed it starting this week the erotic services section will be called adult services and craigslist will force ahem adult advertisers to pay between 5 10 to do business problem solved the good folks at craigslist aren t stupid if there s a market for goods or services that can t be provided by a mainstream market the black market will take it why not take a slice at least craigslist is trying to make it as above board as possible they re going to screen ads for nasty pictures and make sure they get working telephone numbers to protect their uh ladies which effectively makes them cyber pimps but this also raises a larger question should prostitution be illegal sex is as important to the human species as protein and not being eaten by lions obviously you can t buy a steak from just ol anywhere to get your protein the place you buy your meat is controlled by some government health department the place that slaughtered the animal is controlled by food and drug administration as is the place that housed and fed the cows from the day they were born steak isn t illegal it s regulated and in some parts of the world including some parts of this country prostitution isn t illegal it s regulated though inadvertent don t think the irony of comparing prostitution to the meat industry is lost on me either but if we take a lesson from our friends in amsterdam who have legalized prostitution their working girls are licensed and constantly medically screened by the government their industry exists in an open market so there are little to no instances of murder or physical abuse unless that s what you paid for why not get a government agency to regulate prostitutionin the us this would probably be one of the few agencies that would operate without needing funding this isn t to say that i m an avid proponent of legalized prostitution the industry places a monetized value on sex which has far reaching consequences even into the lives of people who would never sell their bodies or partake that value is what causes people to sell other people into sexual slavery that value is what makes some men think that money can buy anything from a trophy wife to a sex tour vacation that value is what makes some women not mess with no broke niggas there s a lot more to it and correlation isn t causation but it s not that far a leap sex is a human necessity and those who can t get it for free are going to pay for it i m just not convinced that allowing it to operate underground is the best thing for those on either side of that transaction if i were barack obama i d release this statement uh look i have to tread lightly with this because well first of all michelle watches everything i do and also when i make decisions for what s best for this country i always keep my two daughters in mind so i wouldn t want them to get the wrong idea about the value of sex however prostitution isn t called the world s oldest profession for nothing it s had its place in human society for a very long time the prohibition on prostitution hasn t stopped it and it never will regulation doesn t work with all markets but it may be worth giving it a closer look in this case perhaps this could help us to break the shackles of our puritanical roots taxes are the government s way of pimping you out of some of your cash why not get some money from those who might already have pimps posted in general humor ghetto satire random rant tags african american political humor african american satire barack obama political humor full release or no release torture photos that is may 14 2009 2 comments so the political internets have been ablazing since president obama announced yesterday that he was reversing his decision to release photos of detainees being tortured by us troops the change was a complete 180 from his previous stance of providing transparency into the atrocities of war while leaving the door open for bringing criminal charges against members of the bush administration obama said his change was based on generals assessments that us troops would come under more fire if the photos were release and it would ultimately be a threat to national security because everyone knows terrorist may not have many family photos but they got albums full of abu ghraib torture photos that make awesome recruiting tools the military and intelligence community provided the president with their case for the potential fallout and he changed his position based on it cool it shows that he can make decisions based on facts and that he s not afraid to change his position if provided with options that justify it very cool we haven t seen that from a president in a very long time but i don t agree with it and that s not to say that i m smarter than the military or smarter than the president far from it but i think the discussion the country is having right now including me hitting the publish button is proof enough to terrorists and their potential pledge classes that some really foul shit has gone down there are actual pictures of it you just can t see it yet yes the abu ghraib photos caused a worldwide shitstorm over the abuses and yes the troops saw an increase in violence over it and the terrorists propagandized it to demonize the satan uncle sam but don t you think there s a point of diminishing returns here if you ve seen one detainee torture photo you ve probably seen them all unless they ve got torture photo genres like porn in which case you might get desensitized after looking at one type of torture photo for a while so then you gotta move on to another genre to get the same effect obviously i digress too much the point i m making here is the cat is already out of the bag they ve already seen torture photos will seeing more torture photos make them more angry and i don t know if they got comcast or optimum broadband in the middle east if they don t it s really only a matter of time til they do though i d advise them to hold out for fios but i know they got the internets and they got television and they got radio they are not shut out of our discussion the fact that we re creating a new shitstorm over new photos transcends propaganda ready rumor and brings it into the concrete without actually having to actually see photos the fact that the president of the united states has had to publicly change his stance on the release of these photos legitimizes the existence of these photos the terrorists or the enemy could simply use this debate to step up their attacks on the troops without having to spend money on prints at walmart or new recruitment centers at strip malls look the president promised transparency and aside from satisfying morbid curiousity the release of these photos responsibly and in context would provide the world with a view into the depths of depravity of our previous presidential administration hopefully with no impact on troop and national security why because cheney bush co need to be brought to justice the terrorists don t hate our freedom they hate that our government lies and uses individuals and groups and nations to do their bidding and they hate that we hide behind principles because those principles are used conditionally unless barack obama is playing an intricate chess game and is using formal channels like using the supreme court to force the release of the photos he s falling back to the role of the tried and tired and i m not cool with that posted in general ...
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