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nd anything to get excited about in the exotic locals nice if a bit too on the nose action sequences cartoonish bad guys and hilariously awkward attempts at making karen allen s character a woman who can defend herself raiders may be supreme popcorn entertainment for some but i ll stick with jaws thank you very much c posted by dame james at 10 40 pm no comments labels crazy 80 s project le cinema steven spielberg monday july 18 2011 like father like smokin hot son everyone loves a good hollywood dynasty from the fondas to the barrymores to the hustons talent has been passed down in these families for multiple generations in some cases and yes i refuse to call the roberts an acting dynasty because emma roberts is a grotty little harpy desperately clinging to her aunt s fame to land roles in films that should go to young actresses with actual talent the tradition continues to this day emma roberts excluded with a special little niche emerging the hot son of a male acting legend let s investigate this further with some examples ethan peck grandson of gregory peck i discovered ethan peck a couple of summers ago while he was on the abc family show 10 things i hate about you to this day i ve never seen an episode but i still find ethan to be hella attractive just like his grandfather back in the day henry hopper son of dennis hopper i never thought dennis hopper was attractive until i saw giant a couple years ago and discovered that the shaggy haired guy from easy rider was once a very good looking fellow his son henry soon to be seen in gus van sant s answer to the quirky indie comedy restless certainly cleans up nicely bonus points he plays an emotionally damaged boy in restless we all know how i love those max irons son of jeremy irons while i was obsessing about brideshead revisited and vis á vis jeremy irons i discovered that he had a son who was smoking hot max doesn t quite have the infamous jeremy irons voice but it s more than pleasant in it s own right and i would certainly go weak in the knees if he talked to me he was recently in that red riding hood movie that looked exactly twilight but not i ll certainly be checking it out sometime soon because i m superficial like that scott eastwood son of clint eastwood i wasn t even aware clint eastwood had a song until glenn pointed him out the other night immediately alerting me to his hotness that s what friends are for people scott looks exactly like his father back in the early part of his career if a tad bit stockier does this mean he ll become a director soon and we ll be getting a strange mixture of westerns and oscar prestige pictures from him for the next fifty years patrick schwarzenegger son of arnold schwarzenegger okay so he s not technically an actor i e at all but he s hot so i had to include him the best thing about the schwarzenegger divorce is the fact that we get to see so many pics of patrick never a bad thing when he looks like this posted by dame james at 12 37 am 5 comments labels boys boys boys clint eastwood dennis hopper ethan peck gregory peck henry hopper jeremy irons max irons patrick schwarzenegger scott eastwood the governator saturday july 16 2011 i am liz lemon 5 a new semi regular series in which i point out moments from liz lemon s life that have either happened to me in the past or are currently happening to me in my own life this will be the ultimate proof that once and for all i am liz lemon so when did this happen getting back with dennis well last week was my birthday and everyone forgot except dennis he called we went out and it wasn t too weird thanks to jd who recently pointed this moment out to me have i become liz lemon so much that i can t even recognize the similarities anymore posted by dame james at 11 44 pm 1 comment labels 30 rock i am liz lemon tina fey thursday july 14 2011 dorothy s new dress dorothy ma if you didn t like the dress you should have just told me sophia hey i was trying to be helpful dorothy asking if it came with a sign that said wide load is not being helpful posted by dame james at 10 16 am no comments labels golden girls sunday july 10 2011 crazy 80 s project hollywood shuffle my crazy 80 s project click the link for more details gets started with a film that wasn t on my original list it wasn t until stinkylulu mentioned hollywood shuffle a film i had seen clips from years ago on some race in film documentary but had forgotten about since that i realized i had to make room for it the film through various comedic sketches discusses the state of roles for black actors in hollywood and the effect of seeing all black men portrayed as jive talking hustling fools has on the race star director and co writer robert townsend makes some wonderful observations most of which sadly have not changed much since 1987 and skewers them head on most notably in the black acting school sketch a commercial for a fake school which teaches african americans how to act more black for the movies students are taught how to jive talk and walk like a black by white people of course while townsend and company make some great points it often feels like the material could have been pushed in far more uncomfortable ways the sketches are good on their own but with a runtime of only 75 minutes the film s structure is flimsy at best never really in the moment unless in a sketch this isn t necessarily a criticism as great commentary can come from sketch comedy but hollywood shuffle is merely saturday night live next to the off the wall examination of racial stereotypes in hollywood bamboozled s network b posted by dame james at 11 10 pm 1 comment labels crazy 80 s project le cinema friday july 8 2011 rants on midnight in paris somewhere between the lame jokes about the tea party and the rachel mcadams character s swift change from wrong for the lead character to complete and utter miserable cunt i realized something very important while watching midnight in paris i m just not into woody allen anymore gone are the glory days of a filmmaker who once made great films as diverse as sleeper annie hall interiors bullets over broadway and everyone says i love you it s obvious the woodman is content making the same shitty movie set in a different european city over and over again and it s time i have accepted this the fact that midnight in paris is woody s most inspired script in ages says more about the decline of his work post match point than the script s actual quality the film begins with a generic looking montage of paris complete with images of paris famous sights and the charming old world street corners and cafés that the city is famous for these are the kind of images one expects when thinking about paris but they do nothing to elicit anything new or interesting about the city it s a five minute establishing shot that both runs far too long and adds less to the story than the establishing shot of the house in the golden girls at the beginning of every episode if the generic ness of these establishing shots does anything it clues us into the generic ness of everything that follows gil owen wilson is a would be novelist a hacky screenwriter with a girlfriend who clearly doesn t value him or his interests true to the woody allen type he hates everything about the present and idealizes the past he yearns to live in paris in the 1920 s the so called golden age everything in the first part of the film is stuff we have seen from woody before a bumbling artist who feels soiled by financial success a shrewish girlfriend ignorant republican parents pretentious a holes who are experts in every subject that could ever possibly come up in conversation in the second part however woody begins to raise his game after getting lost in the city strangers in a 1920 s style car pull up next to gil and take him a party with people dressed up in flapper era outfits and someone singing cole porter songs on a piano gil is both bewildered and amused at just how far these people went to have an authentic party but when he meets zelda and f scott fitzgerald and later on ernest hemingway everything begins to click for him the car has somehow taken him back to 1920 s paris he goes back every night meeting gertrude stein picasso dalí and most importantly a beautiful frenchwoman named adriana that he eventually falls in love with on its surface this sequence works because these caricatures of famous people are more alive funny and simply more interesting than anyone in the real life part of the film who honestly would rather watch michael sheen pretend to be a smarmy ass than see adrien brody repeat the word rhinoceros over and over again with a funny accent it s not annie hall that s for sure but it s the closest thing to comedy in this film after the initial charm of this fantasy sequence wares off it is clear that even this so called original sequence isn t particularly original in the oeuvre of woody allen gil s character uses this fantasy world as an escape from the blahs of his everyday life that he can t stand but eventually he realizes that living in another world the past will always appear ideal precisely because it is an escape from real life switching 30 s escapism for 20 s paris isn t this basically the same message of the purple rose of cairo and even though i m not that film s biggest supporter didn t it feel like purple rose carried that message in far more interesting and complicated ways than midnight in paris that whole segment of the film was supposed to be a fantasy so why did it feel as turgid and listless as the real life scenes nothing about the 1920 s scenes pop or set them apart from the modern day scenes other than the fact that they are more fun and energetic which is a moot point since anything this side of the roommate would look more interesting compared to the modern day scenes there is nothing particularly interesting visually nor does woody s writing get any more in tuned either comedically or dramatically in the end woody wasted a valuable opportunity to make these scenes more than just perfunctory it s even more of a shame since the rest of the film is more inept visually and writing wise when a random subtle long take in the beginning of the film is the most in depth camerawork you attempt you know you are in for a load of trouble you could forgive woody that if his writing was up to par but i have not seen such a lazy vile and all around disgusting piece of writing turn up in quite some time what in the christ was that shit the whole thing felt like a rough draft where you are just throwing ideas down so you don t forget them but fully intend on going back and edit edit edit for a comedy there were no funny lines the only times i remember audibly laughing were during brody s cameo as dalí and when zelda fitzgerald said that funny line about only being good at drinking i can relate gurl then there was that all around ridiculous moment where gil in the present day discovers a diary written by adriana at some local used book vendor it s written in french so he has someone translate for him and the diary specifically talks about gil and describes the first time they made love what first of all how in the fuck does gil know it was adriana s diary if he has no clue how to read french that literally could have been any woman s diary secondly why is this the one time woody decides to make the fantasy sequence really fantstical the 1920 s scenes are as straight forward as the rest of the film yet he feels the need to really up the ante in this one moment that ultimately only leads to a failed moment of comedy with the awful rachel mcadams character and her awful parents and can we talk about the rachel mcadams character for a second i had heard reports about her being a horrible shrew character in the typical woody allen fashion but in the beginning of the film i thought that was all just hype she wasn t exactly a lovely character but she wasn t exactly a spawn of satan either then as the film progressed she became a little more awful in each scene by the end of the film she wasn t even recognizable as a human being anymore the character became such a soulless whiny brat flapping her arms and throwing a tantrum whenever something didn t go her way i m surprised one of the moms from toddlers tiaras didn t give her a spray tan and put her in a kiddie pageant it s obvious woody hated this character the killer of artistic aspirations but is too much to ask for a character and not just a woman who spits bile like a velociraptor if you thought the voiceovers in vicky cristina barcelona were as shoddily written as i did wait until you get the ending of midnight in paris for 85 minutes i had followed this film at first bored then slightly intrigued then bored again then hating my life for enduring this increasingly awful pile of shit then that ending happened gil after dumping his girlfriend runs into a frenchwoman he had met earlier who sells vintage records in a street market she likes cole porter so does gil she finds the past dreamy and romantic so does gil when it starts to rain she comments that she finds walking in the rain romantic so does gil it was as if woody had made a checklist of all the things gil had mentioned in the film that he liked and made sure this caricature of a young non threatening not particularly intellectual woman listed them off as her likes as well and then the film ends with them walking off together in the rain realizing they are in fact soul mates are you fucking kidding me woody with this ending i couldn t believe what i had just seen romantic comedies starring j lo have ended with less clichés and less pat conclusions you know there are ways of ending romantic comedies that don t make your eyes roll back in your head from sheer stupidity it s disheartening to see that woody has plain given up in all aspects of moviemaking his humor use to be so precise and specific that it wasn t for everyone now his writing and filmmaking is so generic i could see even non woody fans like my mother watching this film and finding it bearable and it appears they have since this film is on track to surpass woody s highest grossing film in america hannah and her sisters i don t even know what to say about that america you continue to surprise me and by surprise i mean embarrass and confound d posted by dame james at 7 14 am no comments labels film rants le cinema woody allen saturday july 2 2011 2010 diva cup awards the oscar categories best director maren ade everyone else andrea arnold fish tank derek cianfrance blue valentine david fincher the social network giorgos lanthimos dogtooth and the diva cup goes to andrea arnold fish tank best original screenplay derek cianfrance joey curtis cami delavigne blue valentine ruba nadda cairo time maren ade everyone else eric johnson scott silver paul tamasy screenplay keith dorrington eric johnson paul tamasy story the fighter andrea arnold fish tank and the diva cup goes to de...
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