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n and elm trees stand as steadfast guardians along the banks their roots deep in the fertile soil while just beyond the land erupts in a profusion of wildflowers a testament to the beauty and resilience of this little patch of earth this is the land that henry s family chose as their homestead in the shadows of the towering hills wide stretches of grasslands unfold a realm where cattle and deer roam free finding solace in the abundance that the land offers here the grass is plentiful and competition is not considered the earth yields enough to sustain all who seek its bounty mesquite trees stand in tight groves their gnarled limbs ready to provide the firewood for warmth and light for the ranch house henry thanks god every day that his family chose this little slice of heaven so many decades ago when texas was newly freed from mexico and formed into a republic his family and the comanches made friends early on sharing the bounty of the land and feeding the tribe with a beef or two when needed it was a choice of peace over bloodshed and battle henry s two boys left the ranch years ago his youngest works as a deputy in fort worth an honorable but dangerous profession his oldest boy is a gambler and a scoundrel and haunts the saloons and gambling halls of new orleans and houston making a shady wage and living an abhorrent lifestyle abigail his wife pines for a reunion with her boys but they have been without her loving touch for many years she is old sick and frail and henry fears each day might be her last so he doesn t travel far from the house and checks on her often during the workday henry is older than her and he s no spring chicken his days of ranching and sitting in a saddle will be ending soon cattle are made for roaming it s their inherent nature cowboys are made for finding and securing the unruly bovines it s a circle game played out daily henry is missing twelve maybe thirteen and two calves all longhorns he knows they are drawn to the river they smell the wetness and know that the grass is sweetest near the banks and the spreading oaks offer a safe respite when night comes he sent his ranch hand west to search but he knew they likely headed east to the river henry picks up the cattle tracks in the soft sandy soil heading to the river he follows for a few miles to the west bank of the brazos there they crossed in water no more than a foot deep but swift enough to take a man off his feet across the river maybe thirty yards he sees their exit up a steep incline next to a sharp cliff that drops off to the right large rocks scattered along the bank below and trapped broken tree trunks and limbs reside there among the stones the trees are thick on the left so there is no option but the one the cattle took henry gives them credit for being smart enough to figure it out they cross with no effort witherspoon his old horse knows about as much as a ranch horse could learn henry considers him smarter than many of the men he knows they start up the incline which is steeper than it appeared from the other bank witherspoon struggles slipping on the soft earth and gravel and rolls to the right henry knows they are falling and it won t be a soft one he grabs the saddle horn and braces for the impact as they fall backwards off the cliff when henry opens his eyes the sky looks a color of blue he is not familiar with deep azure not the familiar soft blue he is flat on his back lying atop stones he doesn t feel pain and figures he escaped injury witherspoon his horse grazes near the face of the cliff they fell from he appears uninjured as well he raises himself up on his elbows from the left side a dog approaches tail wagging henry is shocked it s his cow dog buster gone for three months now henry was sure a pack of coyotes got him but here he is now licking his face in between joyful whines abigail will be pleased as punch to see buster back home she mourned for weeks assuming he had passed witherspoon is in good shape not a scratch on him so he mounts and buster leads the way up the incline this time it s an easy climb and they continue down the path buster following the tracks and stopping ever so often to look back and bark to let henry know the way the three come upon a man leaning on a broken gate the wood of the gate is in poor shape the man is dressed in city clothes sharp and clean boots shined and a snazzy derby perched on his head henry has been in these parts many times and doesn t remember this place the man motions his hand and says howdy neighbor what brings you to these parts looking for some strays that crossed the river maybe yesterday or the day before you seen them henry says buster sits on his bollocks ears low hair on his back up it s clear this is not a nice fellow henry trusts his dog s instincts which are always right had some strays here a few days ago just walked right in the gate and up to the main house you re welcome to come and see if they are yours i ve got some good corn liquor if you d like a jolt but the dog has to stay at the gate no dogs allowed on this spread they cause too much trouble says the man with a broad fake smile buster lowers his body and snarls emitting a low growl henry looks at the entrance the tracks must be at least a few weeks old and the rain has almost vanished them he says no thanks my dog has picked up their scent and tracks and they lead on up the road so we ll be moseying along suit yourself neighbor if you don t find them you can come to the main house but the dog isn t welcome the man turns and leaves as henry moves witherspoon along the tracks that buster has picked up a few miles down the road henry comes upon another gate a young woman is replacing the hinges she has a toolbox and has clearly been working hard her clothes are a bit dirty her boots are worn and her straw hat has seen better days without hesitation buster goes to her and she bends down and gives him a hug he whines and licks her face she puts down her tool and says bet you re looking for those longhorns that came by this morning twelve of them with two calves they walked right in the gate and up to the barn i put them in a holding pen i figured someone would come looking why don t you and your cow dog follow me up to the barn and i ll give ya ll a cool drink of water and cookie might have a biscuit or two left from breakfast if you re hungry why don t you dismount and walk with me up to the main house henry and buster walk beside her witherspoon in tow the road is well kept the trees lining the road are healthy and green and some are bursting with fruit apples pears peaches mulberries and the wild flowers are as abundant and colorful as he has ever seen in the distance he sees the main house it s a sprawling place maybe three or four stories painted white and trimmed in gold there are dozens of folks sitting in chairs under the covered porch dogs and children play on the lawn buster takes off down the road to join in with them the young woman takes off her leather gloves offers a hand to henry and says howdy my name is angela this ain t my place it belongs to my father you must be henry and your cow dog must be buster right henry shakes her hand her face is beaming glowing in the afternoon light bright blue eyes silky brown hair and the whitest teeth he s ever seen on a person he says angela how do you know my name i don t recall telling you yet i can t stay long i ll collect my strays and need to head back my wife is sickly and i ve been gone too long as it is i worry about her and she doesn t need the misery of thinking something happened to me angela moves closer to henry and takes his hand in hers as they stroll down the road she says henry we ve been expecting you witherspoon and buster for a while now and don t worry too much about abigail she ll be along shortly ain t this place just a slice of heaven share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured ask a texan dealing with those pesky californians featured phil strawn 17 comments good downhome and often practical advice for those folks that think they know everything the texan this texan received a letter written on the back of a braum s paper grocery bag braums has the second best ice cream bluebell is the top dog and a2 milk in texas and a lot of folks shop there just to collect the sturdy no nonsense retro brown paper bags with sturdy handles me included it seems that a mr oliver douglas of waco texas has a problem with his new neighbors who moved from california after purchasing the ranchette next to his farm green acres mr douglas i saw your advice column advertised at the local h e b in the grilling section next to the charcoal bags the full size cardboard cutout of you looked really nice and i thought if you use and endorse that brand of local charcoal nuggets then i ll try them too anyhow that s not why i m writing to you my new neighbors chip and brie romero moved in next door about two months ago chip the husband is the great grandson of ceaser romero the famous dead actor they like thousands of others fled that third world commie country of california and came to our blessed state of texas to start a new life and who could blame them i mean that governor with the clint eastwood hair and the robert redford smile has ruined what was once a pretty good place to take a vacation and stare at the movie stars my wife lisa and her friend lisa ziffel spent a week of vacation out there in l a a few years back trying to see paul newman and get his autograph she was plum bummed out when she found out he had been dead for quite a while but she did get to see two of those big butted kardashian women on rodeo drive she asked the most famous kardashian woman how much she paid for those big butt cheek implants and the bodyguard sprayed her with paparazzi pepper spray anyway enough of that small talk our neighbors want to be texans in the worst way but they are annoying californians and will never be able to assimilate into our texas culture they drive a tesla cyber truck instead of a king ranch pickup and have a fancy electric tractor for mowing their lawn they asked us over for supper they called it a dinner party but i call it supper they served us white wine some sushi which is really catfish bait to me some ugly undercooked organic vegetables tofu meatless patties and almond milk ice cream on top of a gluten free rice and kale shortcake i tried to feed most of it to verdell their little weird looking designer dog that hung out under their custom made himalayan wormwood outdoor kitchen table but he took a few bites and puked it up on my new justin boots i gave the little pecker wood a little kick with my boot for doing that and chip lost his crap and threw his glass of expensive white wine on my new lucase pearl snap button shirt and was shrieking like a little girl accusing me of trying to kill verdell his wife cheese girl is filming it all on her iphone and calling their attorney back in la la land my wife alma doesn t take crap from anybody so she grabs cheese girl and throws her into their fancy tibetan monk inspired meditation pond full of these big assed japanese meat eating goldfish and the fish start chewing on cheese girl eb our farm hand hears her screaming and comes to the rescue throwing her a rope and pulling her out of the pond with his john deere tractor he had to drive it through their fancy bamboo fence to save her and that sent chip over the top the meat eating gold fish were still hanging onto her legs and torso and chomping on her so eb shoots them to pieces with his colt pistol and she s screaming that those darn fish cost ten grand each and now he s gonna have to pay for them even though they were eating her like a rack of pork ribs things got worse with the big hole in the bamboo fence their herd of midget horses got out and took off into the woods and haven t been found yet arnold ziffel our intelligent farm pig picked up their scent and tried to find them but no luck yet they have some of these exotic little watusi cows from africa and when they get scared or excited they stand on their hind legs and dance the watusi which they did and danced right into the fancy meditation pond the meat eating goldfish got hold of them and left nothing but some bones and horns now we re being sued by their fancy lawyer for replacing the cows the horses and the goldfish mr haney our friend is acting as our lawyer got any suggestions on how to handle these two morons the texan well mr douglas it appears that green acres is the place to be and those californians with all their valley speak and weird ways couldn t resist moving to texas and bringing their genetic baggage with them a good friend of mine lived in a little town called petticoat junction not too far from where you live a family of californians moved in by him and the lecherous husband kept trying to get my cousins three gorgeous daughters out of that water tank and into his hot tub for some bubbly california fun fun fun his cousin jethro bodine finally had to shoot the sucker and the rest of the family got the hint and moved back to beverley hills californians are akin to folks from the middle east they just can t assimilate and don t get how we texans live and the code of the west i ll send you jethro s cell phone number and he might be able to help you out i m also sending you a cd of one of my favorite movies high noon and two large boxes of cherry bombs so you can use them to make those californians scat back to la la land god bless texas and davy crockett share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured tall tales from texas the legend of the mountain boomers of the santa anna mountain featured phil strawn 12 comments at seven years old i learned of my f...
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