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nd off we trotted both clean and both happy good as gold http www fanpop com things didn t go so well for p and m however p and m are a lovely couple who have rescued not one but two dalmatians and although better now there was a time when they wished they had stopped at one b although a delightful dog is a euphemistic handful there is not much naughty that he hasn t explored with dedication and a joie de vivre unknown to even the happiest of canines p and m have resorted to their own form of virtual fencing and installed a mini taser on b s collar i assure you it s for the best and b rarely needs the button pushed these days yesterday was an exception and as always is the way p and m had separated as hubby stayed to talk to a friend in the lower car park and p headed off with their charges b in ebullient mood circled the copse with his sister a number of times and at the top of the hill raced off towards the longhorns his mistress knowing the road was nearby ran after him calling and waving the detonator b bit between his teeth did not slow or stop m having finished his chat was following his wife up the hill when he spotted his younger dog s collar caught in thistles in the copse b s lost his collar he shouted and picked it up b come back here yelled p c o m e h e r e n o w black spotted canine changed up into fifth gear p sent the mildest shock b s way no reaction turning up the volume she reapplied the pressure absolutely nothing niente nada b hurtled on disappearing between the cows legs he circled the periphery of larks medow got bored and in his own time returned to his mistress for a doggy treat behind them back down the hill m shocked rigid picked himself up off the ground taser dog collar still gripped tightly in his pulsating hand october 29 2015 entranced by essaouira jour the first september 19 2015 mrscarmichael is away from her desk africa essaouira humour morocco photography travel mrscarmichael mrscarmichael of arabia mrscarmichael emboldened by our mastering of marrakesh twenty months ago gracie and i did little preparation or forward planning for our five day september break in coastal essaouria save booking flights and paying a 1 00 deposit on a hotel just outside the medina our get away was planned on a day in july cold wet dark and horrible you know a normal english summer an infusion of blue sky was not just needed it was a true medical necessity four nights beside the sahara would we decided do us a treat and go some ways to getting us through to mid winter sunshine breaks yours truly to sri lanka with the carmichael clan gracie to god knows where yet but believe me she s working on it as i type our in depth lack of preparation meant that as we queued for moroccan immigration we found the need to fill some gaps and were forced to quiz multiple travellers about the local currency what was it called dirham what was the easy conversion rule to from british sterling there wasn t one where in the airport could we get some nowhere how were things going so far great the sunshine beating on our backs t wixt plane and terminal just the tonic we needed and anyway our charming taxi driver told us via limited french and a cornucopia of hand signals that lack of funds was no problem he would take us to a cashpoint machine on the way to our hotel really he seemed more interested in getting us to admire his antique blue mercedes the like of which i have not encountered since a visit to a waikato farm circa 1965 that merc was being used as a coop for roosting hens it had slightly fewer dents than our transport to town while gracie admired a tree full of goats and text her hubby to say safely arrived i battled with my iphone relic failing miserably to get vodafone to link me with africa three hours of connection on wednesday was i now realise my full allowance i am not worthy but even that and very intermittent wifi at the hotel did little nothing to spoil our adventure in fact it was rather liberating truth be told room 101 there is a british television programme called room 101 where celebrities are invited by the host to discard people places and things they dislike and or that annoy them they are banished to room 101 as long as the celeb can provide adequate argument as to why said person object or locale deserves this ignominious end we were handed two keys to room 101 who sent us there actually who cares we thank you although the irony was not lost on us i can think of worse places to be abandoned let me tell you a bit about essaouira what s not to love mrscarmichael taxi mrscarmichael taxi mrscarmichael sorting sardines mrscarmichael peel me an orange mrscarmichael anyone for fish mrscarmichael noah s ark mrscarmichael blue is the colour mrscarmichael essaouira def planned used to be called mogador but was changed when european engineers laid out the medina in such a way as to allow one to not get lost while walking through the souk getting horribly lost in a souk is quite fun once see previous posts but on a daily basis can be wearisome marrakesch fez cassablanca are three of numerous metropolises in morocco where you can enjoy getting lost essaouira offers you the option i like that gracie and i almost didn t get lost ever and whenever we did we found something so pretty so yummy so interesting that the tiny getting lost was more than worth it here s a beach bag i wouldn t have bought if we hadn t gone off piste off piste purchase mescarmichael i rest my case essaouira is a working fishing port on the atlantic the small blue boats above catch the big fish and are all painted blue because the last thing a fisherman wants to do is be showy and rile the sea gods the big nay huge boats catch the little sardines it s true i promise a nice sardine catcher offered to show me round his boat i thought it better not to go although i love sardines it is a truth that one can have too much of a good thing up front and personal with a hold of sardines and their catcher just might have been too much good safely back from the port we swam showered and changed into evening medina attire we headed out for food and wine wine the food of life is always an interesting obsession in a dry country being experts remember marrakesh we didn t give it a second thought we should have and we should have on future outings as well it s that old preparation thing again or lack thereof anyway night the first we were lead by the boss of a lantern seller round numerous twisty alleyways and at fast pace to a lovely looking riad that had a sea facing roof terrace nice menu and most affable hosts they the hosts met greeted and ushered us to the lift trans elevator said lift was tiny possibly the tiniest lift i have ever been in with other people it s proportions were lilliputian but nil desperandum gracie and i were on our way up to view food and a glass or two of vino we are really looking forward to some fish and a lovely bottle of moroccan wine mumbled gracie bouche pressed into the light blue collar of mine host mmmm said i to her shoulder the lift ground up another floor we don t serve wine said she of the collar and proceeded to tell us about the fresh fish on offer as we crawled up a further floor or two as if nothing was amiss gracie cast half a right eye on me i glared a quarter of a left at her we could see no more of each other in the capsule like enclosure the doors opened the terrace looked beautiful a waiter gestured us to our table i gave gracie the full you do it look ahh we were really wanting wine said she we re very sorry would you like the table over there asked the riad owner we re so sorry we said in tandem we won t be staying and we all piled into the open door of the micro lift and crept back down to reception sorry so sorry sorry we effused backing out the entrance as fast as we could lordy did we need a glass of wine hooray mrscarmicahel view all 10 comments absolutely hot yoga may 28 2015 meet the carmichaels exercise hot yoga humour namaste yoga mrscarmichael in search of my personal yoga perfection i booked myself a ten day pass at my local hot yoga studio such a leap of faith was it that i needed to holiday for a week in the hope of recovering from the stress of commitment to heat sweat pain and possible panic the holiday was super as you know in lanzarote i endured heat sweat only the pain of one too many and no panic what so ever but then i had to come home and be a yogi amongst titan yogis oh the terror ah the lack of sleep hmmm the self recrimination and the contemplation of pulling out and thus letting myself down i bought fast drying tight fitting all purpose leggings and a sports bra i dug out a baggy cotton vest and a huge drink bottle i promptly bottled out of the first class a foundation level introduction and so found myself in an absolute 50 hour and a half session where my rapid changes of position bore no relation to the other yogis in the studio and my dizzy spells went virtually unnoticed because of all the contortionist movement going on around me smallmercies if this is your first hot yoga l said to me you might be happier at the back oh so much happier but there was no space for me at the back or i d have been there boots and all my teacher moved an expert to the mirrored front and i settled into my natural habitat at the very tail end of yet another class storyofmylife my brow was beaded with sweat and my breathing laboured i felt ever so slightly feverish it was very hot in there then the class began you can t drink yet l had spotted me bending for my bottle all the way at the rear move away from that jeroboam of water we haven t finished the warm up yet five minutes into the 90 and with 49 asanas to go and i was feeling humid flushed and more than a little discombobulated it got worse much worse i was too hot to get the giggles it wasn t very funny anyway i had a wee sit down and felt better briefly who knew so many of my body parts don t work properly even in joint relaxing 40 degree heat my bathroom towel kept slipping on the yoga mat bunching and fighting me with vicious abandon straightening it gave me regular breaks and by now we were allowed to sip our fluids to compensate the positions got harder i was sort of managing the first stage of complex body breaking contortions and then having a little rest i was dripping with sweat l helped me into a couple of impossible holds i realised body lotion makes the limbs very slippy to hold on to at least i smelt nice well i hope i did i managed to complete the class yougogirl i booked an easier one for the wednesday i went then i booked an easier easier one for saturday i have persevered as an adjunct to my not hot yoga classes i am looking forward to my turn at this you are one crazy dude www telegraph co uk and in anticipation i have bought a non slip towel and a smaller water bottle i no longer apply lotion to my limbs before class my hips are flexing wider and my waist seems to be shrinking it s a journey apparently namaste view all 30 comments tits and knickers canary style may 7 2015 mrscarmichael is away from her desk humour lanzarote teguise travel mrscarmichael parking on market day in teguise is surprisingly easy we agreed as i hurtled the fiat panda into just one of the hundred or so vacant spaces in the centre of this lanzarotian town in the centre of lanzarote on our march time trip to the canary isles and there was me thinking this was the touristic market i gushed flushed with the success of not only surpurlative navigation skills but also staying on the correct side of the road the whole way up to the white walled green shuttered pueblo it does seem very empty gracie commented you d think that would be the epicentre of any market wouldn t you she waved at an empty square and an even emptier marquee its plastic doors flapping in the not inconsequential breeze that teguise is famed for i told you the last time i came here it was like a wild west town complete with tumbleweed infested streets said i but that wasn t market day was it a backseat driver inquired rhetorically and of course dear readers nor was this mrs carmichael had dragged the lunching ladies of lanza on a wild bargain chase the island s biggest and oldest out door market is held on a sunday morning this being saturday we were a good twenty hours early still there was plenty of parking just me and the twenty others mrscarmichael and as it turned out plenty of bargains to purchase but first we consoled ourselves with brunch tortilla heaven mrscarmichael and then along with the other seventeen people in town that day we hit the shops mis tres amigas acquired a lot of jewellery i mean a lot a lot i bought this ever so slightly more garish in the flesh mrscarmichael why you ask i am the first to agree that the question is a reasonable one and the answer i don t know but it seemed like a good idea at the time and i did meet the woman who crocheted it that makes it better i think and it suits me well in a dark room with a following wind it suits me better than it suits my friends i guess on reflection that could and probably does say more about me and not in a good way a wee while later i bought this make mine a cactus cocktail por favor mrscarmichael why you ask it is in many ways an even more reasonable question more so when you know that it cost more and i have worn it even less than the yellow crochet hat i wore the hat for the rest of our time in teguise because i thought i was funny hmmmmm photos don t lie unfortunately thirty one of yours truly sporting this fashion forward item of clothing have gone into the virtual bin it s for the best or should i say breast breast might indeed be best because i was still wearing my sunny hat when i avoided arrest by wink and a nippy burst of speed an hour or so later bored ever so slightly with the conspicuous consumption of baubles by the only three people i knew in teguise i had plonked myself down at a café to await empty wallet time when my eye was drawn by two mannequin contemporaries of mine in a distressing state it was that good ol teguise breeze you see oh no mrscarmichael her friend was similarly exposed tits ahoy mrscarmichael i jumped up and and attempted to cover their modesty my café owner coming out for a not so swift fag caught me with both hands on a bosom and made the ludicrous assumption that mrs c was stripping the gals for her own pleasure and an x rated photo opportunity shouting he rushed at me i dodged his parry and fleet of foot vanished into you guessed it a jewellery shop my friends looking up from their jewel buying for a nanosecond found it hilarious thank heaven the mannequins manager realised i was more good samaritan than sex pest and called off the one man spanish armada phew i m putting a white wash on i announced on return to villa vida later that afternoon the girls brought me their whites and we collapsed by the pool to discuss nonexistent markets excessive jewellery consumption lucky...
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