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nd tagged awakening awareness buddhism enlightenment meditation no self non duality nonduality spiritual autolysis spirituality suffering waking up zen bookmark the permalink quaking and burning posted on march 2 2015 by lisa kahale when drugs and alcohol collapsed my life i was definitely old enough to know better and obviously that kind of thing is not about knowledge as my mother said about it but you never took drugs correct until i did i was 35 because everything fell apart so completely i met the first of two incredible therapists he was one huge ear listening was what he did best and i had a lot to say we never got far past surface issues to what really needed to be seen yet it was very helpful he was the second person up until that time who gave me unconditional acceptance such a huge gift and through the insights gained with him drugs became history alcohol lingered for a few years and then it too evaporated he set the stage for what would come later the second therapist a woman who also had a huge ear as well as the ability to lovingly reflect what she saw happening when i could not with her gentle yet incisive feedback i began talking about things that had previously been unavailable even to think they d not been so much as a glimmer on the horizon i addressed the core issues of this particular life childhood trauma and its deep powerful and utterly beneficial until it wasn t denial suddenly the absolute fact of these were staring me in the face and i did not look away exploring happened every sludgy forgotten and pain filled cranny was searched found were the events i d been looking for all my life without even knowing they existed i was 62 two things stand out about that time the first is that there was clearly a total readiness that had not been fully formed in the earlier scenario when it showed up denial was no longer needed as it had done its job what was its job to keep the trauma and its aftermath well out of awareness to protect first a small child and then the adult she became from what the overwhelming fears memories feelings and thoughts that could have been spirit crushers life deadeners and it worked a few memories that were somehow easily rationalized away were all that were present throughout the decades before denial dissolved the vulnerable child and her older counterpart were safe from the effects of complete memory for most of a life the second stand out is that the collapsing of denial and the flooding in of memories and realizations were concurrent with the literally overnight appearance of the burning desire for spiritual awakening in the same time period of seeing the past come into focus came the consuming fire for waking up they were two sides of a single thing the confusion resulting from the sudden seeing of the truth of childhood utterly shattered the sense of self life and orientation to all that had been known it was an earthquake that helped trigger the fiery conflagration of awakening and together they destroyed all ideas of the past and future leaving only the moment eventually trauma became simply a word conditioning but false ideas believed a new living began bottom line 1 perfect timing is always at play no matter what the story seems to say bottom line 2 we think denial and unconsciousness are bad or wrong somehow when in fact they are protective shielding allies that drop their vigilance when it s time for fullness to be felt bottom line 3 life can be experienced big and free and not just bigger and more free than past events also without the conditioning and programming that is cooked up after those occur work with it work with life be open be willing and look deeply it s all right there and it s never ever what you think it is share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading 2 comments posted in awakening enlighenment inspirational non duality spirituality waking up and tagged awakening awareness buddhism enlightenment meditation no self non duality nonduality spiritual autolysis spirituality suffering waking up zen bookmark the permalink blowing up bad and good posted on february 10 2015 by lisa kahale how often are you seeing in operation your beliefs of things being right wrong good bad most of us take a position on that continuum of assessment regarding everything that comes our way that s right that s wrong and this is good that is bad are so much a part of our thoughts and words and often so automatic that they are often barely noticed it s considered normal this belief in the innate rightness or badness of everything from our own interior condition to the state of the world it is believed factual that most everything is one or the other but is it justified is the assigning of a built in intrinsic rightness wrongness to all we experience or see in life accurate is it correct and true to say that things actually are good or bad in some foundational and non changeable manner that things come with those attributes somehow built in it is definitely what we do and it is definitely deluded why because in the commitment to the good bad continuum we lose sight of naturally occurring balance and without that we are imagining fantasy to be reality natural balance shows up all the time everywhere it is not created not an equilibrium brought about by x percent of badness and y percent of goodness jockeying for dominance it is not a constant reshuffling of right things and wrong appearances so that a certain order is maintained between the two instead natural balance is a constant presence of life emerging without right wrong goodness badness as inherent qualities built into any of it natural balance needs no adjustment imbalance cannot happen all of life s appearances are simply empty of inherent right and wrong no tweaking necessary to maintain this it just is constantly occurring balance is always in play so there is no good stuff to toss at the bad stuff as neither is present only life and all that it is as it is is present any qualities characteristics and attributes are simply of the physical variety tall short hot cold blue green smooth sharp can good and bad be amongst those the qualities of right and wrong we imagine intrinsic to any and all things have but a false reality one that appears only in our thinking life does not contain these ideas as content within any of its appearances life is a naturally balanced occurrence containing no inner attributes of rightness wrongness goodness badness everything of life is inherently equal appearances empty of all but their physical characteristics and even those empty but that is another post only believed thoughts say otherwise the idea of a rightness wrongness imbalance springs from imagining that human designations of intrinsic value or goodness badness projected onto particular things are correct they are not they are just that projections they are opinions imagined as truth because of these imaginings the world is seen as lacking balance when in fact it is everywhere natural balance is obscured by the notion held by most that only one end of the right wrong continuum is worthy indeed by the notion that the continuum actually is in existence and is to be honored and adjusted when needed we imagine that it is up to us to fix what life has presented on a silver platter this comes from the idea that only what is assumed good is valuable that what is deemed bad is less so this leads to natural balance remaining unseen when it is not recognized that neither end of the continuum is genuinely true we flounder in artificial and erroneous beliefs of needing to fix we try to enhance and eradicate this is not about convincing you there should not be desires and preferences that taking a stance or an action is unnecessary or futile nor that both ends should be equal in our perception of them natural balance simply highlights good and bad as not intrinsically within anything at all right and wrong are our ideas they trigger erroneous evaluations we give credence to phantoms as always don t believe any of this look for yourself an effective inquiry might be to look very carefully at objects events situations actions can any concrete quality or characteristic that contains goodness or badness be found in them other than in your thought of it can any be located that indicate intrinsic wrongness or rightness look at how opinion and thoughts about these can say yes or no to the questions then let those beliefs pass by what remains the thing as it is no imagined add ons moving further we can develop the habit of acceptance of life and its appearances as they are even the embracing of them why do this because it feels better than resistance of reality because it is more realistic what is present is present period fighting this fact is not only futile it s painful and dropping belief in inherent right and wrong within life s presentations assists with dissolving resistance accepting life as it is does not imply that we condone hurtful behaviors in others and ourselves or imagine that things that feel loving and joyful are to be dismissed it does not mean that we cannot move towards what appeals and avoid what does not it means seeing that nothing comes with built in qualities that have the power to attract or repel value and attraction or repulsion are human generated yes even spontaneous liking or disliking wanting and rejecting valuable and worthless responses are a result of human thinking and never originate in the thing around which we have the thoughts and feelings it can never be known how or why life shows up as it does we can only know that it simply does we have to work from that moment forward a seemingly discreet and particular something is present and right there in the noticing of it we can either attach our ideas about its value rightness and innate attributes or we can simply acknowledge that it is present as whatever it is so give it a go look ponder the world as it is awaits it is right wrong neutral and ready for you to like and dislike however you wish without embracing false thinking that says it is as you believe it to be it isn t what a blessing share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading 1 comment posted in awakening enlighenment inspirational non duality spirituality waking up and tagged awakening awareness buddhism enlightenment meditation no self non duality nonduality spiritual autolysis spirituality suffering waking up zen bookmark the permalink beyond sweet posted on january 29 2015 by lisa kahale well the river of life is delivering me to so many diverse stops along the shore some of them simply would have been unendurable in the past and are now welcomed with gratitude what made the difference cannot point to any single thing but can say that the entire story of this universe is now one of open free acceptance remember hearing life is to be lived celebrated i just never got that as life felt like a lot of pain and bleakness with intermittent clearing of the clouds that helped with continuing forward now it s just bring it on it is all welcome and yes of course there will be more big things i now see that when they show up i ll be right there with them this is a natural evolution for me it s been three years since the awakening experience began and never was it imagined that this is what could come it s been a slow and gradual movement recently after a year of grief huge unhappiness and turmoil with the deaths of two beloved family members and the huge legal issues that followed that period ended abruptly eight months ago the light was suddenly seen again and just kept deepening this is beyond sweet peace is experienced pretty much continuously and when it is not it quickly returns it is a one eighty for the former lisa please know somehow that this is not exclusive to any particular human it is the baseline for all it s a natural progression that unfolds and is happening in ever increasing numbers not experiencing it now you can look deeply within your own interior and find what is present when all else comes and goes because everything does come and go except your own true nature there it is right there your heart of hearts the peace that prevails it is you as you are and never as you think you are take a look right there at the thoughts that seem to dictate how it is concerning everything but particularly about your own is ness the truth awaits only attention it is your own beyond sweet that awaits dive in share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading leave a comment posted in awakening enlighenment inspirational non duality spirituality waking up and tagged awakening awareness buddhism enlightenment meditation no self non duality nonduality spiritual autolysis spirituality suffering waking up zen bookmark the permalink everything from nothing no more fight club posted on december 20 2014 by lisa kahale awakening is a door it opens and we cross into a new way of being one that eventually becomes ordinary everyday experiencing i enjoy exploring these new ways of being an on going breaking of what is for me new ground far from the place i entered but somehow still exactly there all the time this never ceases to amaze the journey of no distance something that has remained a clear realization each moment during this exploration and so now seems quite familiar is the spontaneous seamless appearing of life moment to moment it first rolled open before me during the initial months of awakening always on going never done and continues to be seen using just a slight shift of attention memory does not enter into this i stop look and there it is again the constant fresh renewing of the universe as unbroken singularity springing up into manifestation it s all brand new as each instantly and constantly reappearing moment this is not a visual thing nor a connection of thought dots rather it is a an ever fresh view or knowing while there is no longer the huge impact there was once it continues to delight and gently nudge a feeling of security life has things well in hand the implications of this are significant because life is new in each split second what we consider to be cause and effect is an assumption based on the belief that time is unfolding that it somehow flows from earlier to now and then to later this assuming is so ingrained it is almost never seen or questioned yet time actually is not nor are space objects situations or events actual despite their sensed immed...
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