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Text of the page (random words):
e missed that laugh today s fight got him fired they told him they d pay him for the day then security escorted him out of the building no second chances for probationary employees out the door you go and don t let it hit you where the good lord split you the fight started because there was just one grape jelly left in the break room and the guy behind him wanted it it s mine seniority the jackass told him pushing him aside and grabbing it out of the battered old straw basket on the counter without hesitation or warning he d knocked jackass mister seniority right on his tail but jackass mister seniority butch walker got right up and began pummeling charles until several coworkers broke up the impending homicide they both got shit canned charles because he was less than three months on the job butch because he had one fight too many he pulled up to the light at water street his mouth tasted like old pennies he rolled his tongue around in his mouth all his teeth were there but one seemed loose his nose felt puffy and he was sure it was bleeding down the back of his throat there was fresh blood on his right thigh which puzzled him until he realized his hand was bleeding and dripping on his leg rear view s revenge he wanted that first pull on the bottle he could almost taste it almost feel the razor sharp burn as it rushed down his throat he d remember that first one the rest would quickly become a blur and no sir he wasn t calling mark to keep from falling off the wagon no indeed he was hurling himself off no sponsor needed for that no sir the abyss beckoned and he d rush into its embrace the water street light changed and he drove to the next light at columbus circle where two old men were planting american flags around the columbus statue in the fading daylight almost there he looked down the gas needle lay flat on empty don t you run out you bastard the light changed and he eased down on the accelerator milking the fumes in the tank he wasn t surprised he d finally snapped the phone call to jenny two days earlier set everything in motion he d been on edge ever since he spoke to her a couple drives through the country did nothing to dull that edge it s been over a year he d pleaded a whole year and not a drop well it s not enough chuck we re not coming home yet she sighed into the phone well what is enough jenny two years ten in the end they were shouting at each other and she hung up he never even got to say hello to his boys later that same evening he heard heavy footsteps on his porch firemen a fire truck was parked in front of his apartment lights flashing got a complaint your car s leaking gas said the chief he hadn t denied it the taurus leaked if he put in more than half a tank he must have pumped in a hair too much someone caught a whiff and called the fire department they threw cat litter under the car to soak up the spill after confirming it was no longer leaking next time it s a fine and we ll have it towed he was warned his neighbors sat on their porches watching it all some chuckling and pointing some just shaking their heads and frowning he felt like a five star idiot he took the taurus to the garage the next day and got a used gas tank installed he d paid his rent earlier in the week so the repair chewed up most of his bank account he was a stick of dynamite with the fuse already lit by the time he crossed paths with butch in the cafeteria he frowned and shook his head as he dodged the endless succession of potholes why was every damned road in pennsylvania a mini ho chi minh trail he swerved to miss one and a new one that wasn t there the day before swallowed his left front wheel wham he looked up to the rear view to see if anything had fallen off the car but there was only a ring of epoxy where the mirror used to be a year of aa meetings two a day sometimes standing and introducing himself hello my name is charles i am an alcoholic almost three months of slaving away at a shit job to show jenny he was back on track all that time dying for a drink but holding his own somehow and still it came to this his wife and kids remained a state away he was broke newly fired and driving a piece of shit car sporting a brand new used gas tank he couldn t afford to fill unless he stayed sober he had no such plans no sir in less than an hour none he d have half a bottle in his belly nothing would matter for a day or so lord yes tonight i will drink he d started each day for more than a year the same way staring into the bathroom mirror and swearing by god he wouldn t drink he ended each day standing before that same mirror and swearing he wouldn t drink tomorrow either last night and this morning he d skipped these rituals he d already made up his mind to break his vow he just wasn t brave enough to say it to his own face if jenny and the boys were coming home maybe he d still have a job he d probably be on his way to a meeting right now but they were in ohio when jenny got word about what happened this time and she always found out somehow she d stay away all the longer why jenny he d asked the day he came home to find her packing she said it was the abuse what abuse i ve never laid a hand on you well sometimes i wish you had chuck i d have done this a lot sooner maybe you don t hit us but you certainly hurt us you re a nasty drunk your words do more damage than your fists ever could she was taking the kids to her mom s place in ohio she said he could call her there in a month or so she said not before she said he didn t know what to say and figured it was wisest to stay quiet while she packed it simply wasn t possible to move jenny off a decision once she d made up her mind her baby brother hank a bench warming linebacker at ohio state stood next to her as she zipped shut her suitcase hank put a supreme effort into looking as menacing as possible while his sister packed he ignored hank when she closed the suitcase he walked past hank who twitched a little and softly pleaded for jenny to stay to give him just one more chance she ignored him and called the boys into the bedroom give your daddy a kiss he kissed them circling his arms around both and hugging them they looked confused tears filling their eyes they were herded away to hank s silver honda where they waved as hank pulled away from the curb he watched as the car disappeared down gouge street before turning onto abbot he d seen his two boys just three times in the year that followed their birthdays and at christmas he d driven to ohio each time stayed in a cheap motel and spent a few hours with his boys before driving all the way back he d worked so hard since then to convince jenny to come home again she always took his phone calls and that always gave him hope he swore he could hear that same hope in her voice as well he was sure of it she d never once told him she no longer loved him that counted for something it had to now his family seemed farther away than ever the gas held out he made it to the station pulled up to the small pump island and got out of the car a swipe of the debit card and he started pumping the regular he kept his eyes on the pump s screen he had to make sure he didn t fly right by that twenty five dollars mark the sound of wheels rolling over pavement creeping up behind him pulling up close don t rush me jackass a car door opened footsteps someone approaching he refused to look at whoever it was until he was done whatever they wanted well they could damn well wait he finished pumping and slowly placed the nozzle back in its cradle sir came a woman s voice trembling and raspy like dry leaves in a stiff october wind despite himself he turned and looked blonde about thirty he guessed dark sunglasses above her mask can you lend me five dollars for gas i just ran out i hate to ask but i left my purse home who the hell did she think she was trying to cut into his bottle money what woman goes anywhere anywhere without her purse he was set to dress her down when he saw the car seat saw the sleeping child tightly clutching a stuffed animal the battered suitcase on the front seat of her car the small spot of crusted blood on a corner of her plain blue mask his anger evaporated her car had drifted to a stop at an oblique angle the gas tank too far to reach with the nozzle first thing we need to get you closer to the pump he said calmly let me move my car after he parked the taurus in front of the convenience store he asked her to get back in her car and put it in neural he told her how to cut the wheels and then he started pushing the car backwards as he pushed he had her cut the wheels a few times until she was lined up with the island he moved around behind the car and leaned into it harder work this time because the ground wasn t quite level he inched the car forward until she was next to the pump he opened the gas cap swiped his debit card and started pumping she reached in her glove box and grabbed a small notepad and pencil she held them out through the open window please give me your address i ll mail you five dollars when i get home you re not going home he said and five dollars won t get you far enough he looked away and kept pumping until he squeezed in every cent he had left he put the gas cap back on closed the fuel door and walked up to her window he could hear her crying and he knew that tears were rolling down her cheeks and disappearing under and into her mask he always says he ll never do it again she sighed he always swears it s the last time but strong as he is he s so weak charles nodded she reached up and took off her mask and sunglasses both her eyes were blackened a cheekbone bruised she held out her hand he took it shaking it gently i can t thank you enough sir i don t even know your name it s not important he said softly i m no one worth remembering i m just glad i could help pump that gas pedal some before trying to start he started to pull his hand away but she gripped it firmly wait she said she released him then went into the glove box for something she reached over and began cleaning his hand with a baby wipe he didn t realize until then how much he d bled you have a nasty cut you might need a stitch i ll be fine i have some bandages too i ll cover it he objected but she wasn t having it she worked quickly and professionally are you a nurse or something or something she replied with a slight smile then said what s on your shirt i don t think it s blood grape jelly don t ask and the hand and your swollen nose should i ask about those probably not do you need a mask no i got plenty i didn t expect to be talking to anyone is all she nodded thank you again she said i hope things work out for you whatever those things are well you too he said because he really didn t know what else to say she rolled up her window worked the gas pedal and cranked the starter it took three attempts before the engine finally caught she smiled again a slight almost imperceptible raising of the corners of her mouth then slowly drove away he watched her disappear into the gathering darkness and then he got back in the taurus something had happened he didn t know what exactly he knew he d never see that woman again she was gone and she d somehow taken his rage with her he glanced up the street to the liquor store right turn oblivion left turn a chance he turned left he d gone one year already he supposed he could keep trying if that s what it was going to take there was a meeting tonight in the basement of a church over on swallow street he d call mark they d have coffee later but mark would have to buy tonight a year and three days behind him and god willing a long stretch of new days ahead each lived on the knife edge each a struggle each a fresh chance to fail but tonight tonight for sure he would not drink this night was all he could manage right now all of those tomorrows would find him soon enough be good to each other posted by james o meara sr at 10 16 pm no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels all of those tomorrows fiction writing wednesday august 5 2020 fringeville 223 my experiment with chaos formally ends be good to each other and wear the mask posted by james o meara sr at 6 49 am 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels joe biden politics older posts home subscribe to posts atom nepa blogs chock full o blogging jimbo s facebook badge not valid for arrests james o meara sr create your badge pages home the obligatory bit of narcissism jimbo s youtube channel god help us more by james m o meara mail from josef available only at amazon patience available only at amazon acts of volition available only at amazon july 27 available only at amazon desktop dynamo subscribe to posts atom posts all comments atom all comments the blogshelf circumlocution for dummies walter griffith on what a week podcast 18 hours ago the lu lac political letter the lulac edition 5 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