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bie trance sweet baby jesus takes his bible sits on the edge of miss idas desk smiles and says now let s hear some real bible stories straight from the source it was a beautiful afternoon full of unexpected laughter and acceptance for once we kids found that listening to the word of god from another kid made us feel good sort of like hot oatmeal on christmas morning the following day the preacher greets us with the news that young stewart is back in san angelo and will teach the class for the remainder of bible school of course we were sad to see our new sweet baby jesus depart our bible school bitsy in between constant talking sniffles and wishes him the best the class wrote a letter to sweet baby thanking him for his kindness to bitsy and for putting the evil sisters in their place i attended the vacation bible school for a few more summers but it wasn t the same without sweet baby and i attended my last one at eight years old a few decades later i read that the right and honorable reverend stewart sweet with assistance from his wife bitsy had established an enormous ministry in africa and healed everything from beri beri to auto engines it looks like sweet baby jesus is still doing a great job share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured chuking rocks at each other featured phil strawn 8 comments four boys joyfully play a spirited rock throwing game in a gritty urban alleyway when i was a child in the 1950s one of our favorite forms of retaliation against our enemy the small group of hoodlum kids we called the hard guys from across the tracks was the infamous rock fight as kids we didn t possess the strength to propel a stone fast enough to kill an enemy but they hurt especially when one pops you on the forehead or the back of your flat top haircut wearing head while retreating from the fracas we were all masters of rock chucking and knew which rocks were the best for throwing the larger gray stones that lined the railroad tracks across the field from the back of our house the railroad furnished us the perfect weapon for rock fights just the right size and weight and hard edges that would raise a welt on young tender skin georgie our neighborhood firebug and the biggest titty baby of our gang took one rock to the nose and had to have stitches so our parents after a series of butt whoopings ended that form of warfare we still had bb guns so that replaced the rocks but presented a greater danger of shooting one s eye out like the classic 1984 movie a christmas story not a one of us or our enemy lost an eye but those bbs did sting through our jeans and t shirts that description of past juvenile antics brings me to this point we meaning the american public and families are still chucking rocks at each other not actual stones but words and actions driven by news paper articles television news social media platforms and the newest form of ammunition is the smartphone text they re all the same and they hurt more than a small rock to the head and sometimes the wound never heals political and religious tribalism is the newest and the worst form of family alienation i know firsthand because i go through it daily and so does my wife momo our children and a few fair weather friends and relatives are liberal democrats and we are conservative christians so we are easy accessible targets for alienation from their la la land of beliefs and ideology we are not pious bible beaters and sure we drink cocktails and wine and beer and we were teenagers with long hair rock band playing fools and a bit wild back in the 1960s we weren t real hippies but more of a middle class version that bathed every day and didn t hang out with the manson family we didn t care for the vietnam war but we darn sure didn t burn buildings assault the police and citizens and cheer on socialism like the younguns of today do so freely without guilt my grandfather once told me that to get along with family never talk politics or religion and he was correct my father s extended family on his mother s side all lived in fort worth within a few blocks of each other during summer cookouts a few of them always got into rabid arguments over politics and sometimes religion most of them were good hard drinking night club dancing baptists but a couple were catholic so it was bound to happen fists flew beer bottles zipped by our heads and uncles and cousins rolled in the grass until one gave up but that was the end of the disagreement it didn t go past the backyard fun at least not until the next get together i cringe at using the term back in the day and the good old days but that s when we were civil to each other and didn t alienate family and friends today it s a different world that i don t recognize indoctrination and tribalism go hand in hand the political tribalism goes both ways each party is its own and you insert religion and lack of belief in god and jesus into the encampments and it becomes a toxic mix that has ruined many a family gathering and destroyed relationships now we have texting which is the worst form of communication i will admit we use it to communicate with our church s music ministry friends and family it s so easy so non committing so bland so lacking in tonality and reality that a simple few phrases can be taken as an insult or call to arms it also signals that i don t want to have a real conversation because that requires actual interaction and brain power to think about what you are talking about texting is the newest form of ignoring human interaction it says i m too busy to have a conversation or what you have to say is not worth my valuable time texting is here to stay unless elon musk invents a brain chip implant that lets us communicate our thoughts via starlink i m looking forward to that implant share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured the weather and old people featured phil strawn 30 comments i don t know what it is about us as we age but the weather fascinates us momo and i watch the weather every night even if it s raining we want to know if there will be more rain or when summer will actually start frying our brains when we go outside it s been raining here almost every day for almost three weeks and more is coming so i guess the el niño thing really works momo did her girl scout indian rain dance in april and i m sure that set it all in motion i m talking big rain 2 3 inches at a time flooding winds tornadoes hail water rescues the whole enchilada with extra sauce she worries that i watch too much news but it s crap i watch only for the weather forecast i told her it s better than sitting by the window watching for the mailman to deliver our junk mail my late late grandmother did that for twenty years and then one day she won some stupid prize and got a big check so i guess it was worth two decades of watching the mailbox we spend most evenings after wheel of fortune on our covered back patio safe from the rain and hail sipping a libation lately our resident road runner has been in the backyard more than usual looking for frogs and lizards he came up behind my chair and probably would have jumped on my shoulder if momo hadn t moved they are large curious birds that kill rattle and copperhead snakes to feed their young or just for fun so it s a bird you don t want to piss off the indians in the area say that if one lives on one s property one will always be snake free and have good luck so play the lottery which momo does i guess that s why dodge named their most popular muscle car back in the 60s the roadrunner with a 440 hemi share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading religion family and a baptism gone wacky featured phil strawn 15 comments swimming with jesus in a cement pond i wrote this story some time ago it was water baptismal day at our church today so i figured why not share this bit of family history with my readers my first taste of religion came when i was six a boy from fort worth i was taken to the polytechnic baptist church to witness the near drowning of my young father he was baptized by a man named reverend agustin z bergeron the preacher a certified cajun from chigger bayou louisiana was a legend standing alongside only two others reverend j frank norris and billy graham someone in my family an aunt or a cousin or all members thereof thought that father s soul needed saving to ensure his path to heaven would be an honest one i suspect it was his mother she was a championship sinner with no apparent way to redemption so convincing her only son to baptism might also gain her entry to god s domain as a parental guest i also suspect that the bottles of hooch and the 38 special in her traveling suitcase would be overlooked as she accompanied him through the pearly gates looking back on my family history i now realize that the entire bunch of my father s family was street rat crazy they also loved alcohol and were world class consumers of hooch it didn t faze them a bit that back in prohibition the entire bunch went temporarily blind from a bad batch of moonshine my grandmother s brother brewed in the woods behind their house the sunday of the baptism was as hot as i can remember the church was surrounded by large shade trees but there was not a whiff of a breeze inside the building religion and suffering are one and the same july in texas is considered a preview of the weather in hell and the good reverend used it well i sat beside my mother my little sister was in her lap not yet a year old my clothes were soaked with sweat i might have wet myself and not known it the summer heat rose from the wooden floor beneath us hell lay just below waiting for us to waver to lose our faith satan would pull us down through the cracks in the floorboards if we let go it seemed so simple i didn t understand sin or what it meant to fall into hell kids don t think about such things pacing the floor preacher augustin moved from wall to wall behind him the choir of big haired women added their amen and hallelujahs their voices sharp and clear the pulpit held the preacher s bible unused but not forgotten he did not need its leather bound wisdom he knew all he needed to instill fear in the hearts of those gathered in that church the stifling air was drenched in repentance the sermon concluded and the baptism commenced father was the last on the list mother had dressed him in a new white shirt and a black tie with his new black horn rim glasses he looked like the television comedy star steve allen the shirt was stiff as cardboard making it hard to move one might expect that if someone were dunked in water a swimsuit or at least a robe would be appropriate but no baptists preferred it genuine fully dressed in their best clothes shoes watch and wallet had to be saved father s name was called entering the pulpit from behind a velvet curtain he climbed into the baptismal tank i found it odd that a church would have a small swimming pool at the altar a waist deep concrete tub full of unpurified water from the trinity river how would one know that the occupants hadn t released a stream of urine into the sacred water in their moment of personal repentance and acceptance it s a natural response akin to peeing in a lake father stood in the holy waters awaiting his deliverance he carried the look of a trapped man no escape route was available so his fate was sealed it s not that he wasn t ready to accept jesus as his savior but the whole scene felt off kilter the preacher smoked camel cigarettes and drank iced tea while he preached and the combination of the smell and his aftershave was awful preacher augustin wasted no time he asked father if he was ready to accept jesus and be bathed in the holy waters father mumbled a few words and the preacher pushed him back into the holy water time passed it seemed like minutes and along with lovely words and passages father was still immersed in the holy waters a hand then an arm reached up flailing about finally a leg broke the surface and a shoe flew off still preacher agustin continued the baptismal looking back it was common knowledge that father was a country musician and made his living playing in the beer joints along jacksboro highway preacher augustin figured that since my father was a fully certified sinner an extra dose of salvation was needed father made it to the surface with seconds to spare sputtering and coughing on the verge of death he rolled over the side of the cement pond and lurched toward the side door of the church holding my baby sister my mother grabbed me by my bony arm and we made a hasty beeline to the car father was there waiting dripping wet looking like a bad meal on a china plate but he was a saved man share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new 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