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art illery skip to content art illery home about art illery doodles paintings contact i am april 28 2012 i am written at babae retreat april 2012 i am gabriela tandang sora lorena i am kemberly and melissa babae and samaka kababaihan ng pagasa i wonder sister if you think about me think about the world that could be the world we work so hard to build the world that you and i deserve to have the world that we want to gift to our children of tomorrow i hear your heart beat at night your muffled whispers to self incantations of strength and spirit and solidarity i see you dance through the trees upon every brush of a leaf every sway of a branch every flutter of a wing i want to reach out to you sister hold your hand give you courage from the depths of my soul embrace you until you and i are one you are gabriela tandang sora lorena you are kemberly and melissa babae and samaka kababaihan ng pagasa you pretend to be brave when sometimes you feel fear uncertain if you have what it takes to face tomorrow you touch my shoulder reassuring searching firm but gentle i worry that our determination will fade with the wind wither through time i cry for resistance for peace for sisterhood everlasting for motherhood that will birth a day of justice and liberation i am gabriela tandang sora lorena i am kemberly and melissa babae and samaka kababaihan ng pagasa i understand what my role is my history and my destiny i am a revolutionary i say this with every breath in my body i dream this with every hope that i manifest i will this with every fiber of my being i am a woman leave a comment from pinay stories poems noynoying march 19 2012 tags noynoying oh no it s caught on my bunnies caught a contagious case of noynoying leave a comment from uncategorized letters to home march 13 2012 tags community art project i periodically follow the arthouse co op because they have some pretty interesting community art projects challenges i have yet to officially participate in one since i totally failed in my attempt at the 2010 sketchbook project but this letters to home project resonated with me here s a description what would you say to your childhood home it s been awhile and the house you grew up in is starting to wonder about you if your childhood home could hear you what would you say it might have been an apartment in the big city a farmhouse in the country or a cabin in the woods there s a place from your past that will stay with you forever letters to home is a community art project that asks creative people like you to write a letter to your childhood home share an epic backyard adventure ask a lingering question or reveal a long kept secret we ll transform our storefront exhibition space into a mailbox from the past so here i go sa aking minamahal na 35 payna st to my beloved 35 payna st it is march 2012 now and though i no longer remember the exact day that i left you i hope you believe me when i say that i ve kept you in my heart all this time i ve been away 20 years and i am filled with stories and adventures memories and moments that i want to share but i find myself speechless speechless because a part of me is actually really embarrassed that it s taken me this long to write you speechless because what does one say after 20 years hello how are you remember that one time when i played with my teacup set in your living room in 2008 i went home and i came to see you for the first time since i had left unsure if you d remember me i stood outside of your magnificent green gate and touched the iron hearts that adorned your door the gate was smaller than i had remembered and i could have sworn the street you stand upon wasn t that narrow but it was you you have a new family now and i m sure you are everything to them that you had always been to me so i didn t knock instead i just stood outside taking you in playing every memory i could conjure up in my mind i want you to know that i loved you still love you you always made me feel safe and secure just cozy enough to provide comfort when it was raining and yet felt expansive and never ending during hide and seek games you tolerated my insistence of having the equivalent of a small farm within your walls and never complained once about lucky the doberman pinscher poopy the scraggly puppy goldie the retriever rocky the fighting rooster his gang of friends the hens the pairs of love birds all the fish the chicks and ducks and the guinea pigs thank you for giving them home when the rest of the street laughed and thank you for the stability you provided me during my childhood i want you to know that i never wanted to leave you i think about you all the time and i can truthfully say that my life today is defined largely by the time we ve spent together and the time we ve spent apart we whispered our hopes and dreams upon your walls during dark brown out days hid in your crevices when movies were too scary and lounged on your cool floors on hot days you never complained when we lashed out in hunger or frustration desperation or despair you always forgave us when we were unable to attend to your needs and accepted without judgement when we made the difficult decision to leave you behind leaving you was the hardest day of my life thank you for understanding i don t remember it and perhaps it is due in part to the deep trauma i still feel from having to take those steps away from you i hope you know that i didn t want to do it never imagined that we could ever be separated but they explained to me in hushed voices laid out a logic so plain that even my nine year old self understood and i knew i had to accept responsibility for a new word that i was then taught which was survival i am well now and we are happy i am married have bunnies and live in a nice place that treats us well i keep a photo of you by my windowsill and think fondly of you often i know now that leaving you was out of my hands as it was out of yours i know now that there are many like me who have had to leave unwillingly and many like you who may be waiting for an explanation we are called migrants and i ve met countless like me in my new life here in america we get together often and share stories of green gates and narrow streets cool floors and pseudo farms within walls we work towards one day that we all may return to you and to others like you building towards one day when letters like this will not be necessary difficult decisions for survival won t have to be made and our relationships to our homes in our own land can be permanent i hope you can forgive the time that has passed between us i look forward to reuniting with you again soon and perhaps next time i will muster up the courage to knock on your door you are my inspiration every day and for as long as i live i will call you home elaine 1 comment from pinay stories uncategorized happy international women s day march 8 2012 in honor of iwd 2012 here s lorena barros a poet activist and co founder of the militant women s organization makibaka during the first quarter storm she was an epitome and proponent of the women s liberation movement in contemporary times her views and example made clear the identity of the new filipina she was only in her early 20s when she became a guerrilla fighter of the new people s army npa during the marcos regime mother by ma lorena m barros 1948 1976 ano ang isang ina mayamang hapag ng gutom na sanggol kumot sa gabing maginaw matamis sa uyayi tubig sa naghahapding sugat ngunit ano ang isang makabayang ina maapoy na tanglaw tungo sa liwayway sandigang bato lupang bukal ng lakas sa digma katabi sa laba t alalay sa tagumpay ang ina ko with ma lorena m barros 1948 1976 1 comment from digital drawings new art projects opening an online store and more december 5 2011 dear friends and family happy monday i know i ve been quiet on this blog for a long time but i promise it s been for a good reason i am excited to share with you all that i have been hard at work on a few art projects the past few weeks in time for the holidays i ll be launching a new online store that will have some new items and will also be bringing back old goodies and other prints look forward to calendars t shirts the return of the popular tagalog alphabet cards and posters here s a sneak peak below with the launch of the new online store i ll also be launching a new brand under which i ll be selling all the random goodness and future projects i embark upon in the future can you guess what it will be called items will be limited to 10 each so keep on the look out for the official opening of the store if you d like to be kept in the loop for future art related emails please send an email to lainerz at gmail dot com and i ll add you to a new mailing list i m creating otherwise i promise to stop harassing you hehe maraming salamat for all the support so far and happy holidays elaine ps feel free to forward to friends that may be interested leave a comment from uncategorized older entries subscribe to the blog archives archives select month april 2012 march 2012 december 2011 july 2011 april 2011 february 2011 january 2011 december 2010 november 2010 october 2010 september 2010 august 2010 july 2010 june 2010 may 2010 april 2010 february 2010 january 2010 december 2009 november 2009 october 2009 september 2009 august 2009 july 2009 june 2009 may 2009 recent posts i am noynoying letters to home happy international women s day new art projects opening an online store and more kim kardashian butt x ray really where ve you been my favorite fruit love and accomplishing difficult things burma vj a documentary 4th grade art artist artists arrest art show asian journal babae bayan usa bunny cartoonist cojuangco custom painted desaparecidos dia de los muertos diary disneyland diy doodle drawing event factsheet farmer getty center girls with guns habi arts hacienda luisita halloween human rights i hotel in progress journal junk vfa karapatan kidrobot kularts kulayan kuss 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