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Text of the page (random words):
ntine that combined the old timey whimsy of the illustrations with the hokiness of the punny inscription gathering my supplies and my wits i struggled to find an original concept supplies included heart shaped safety pins washi tape googly eyes pipe cleaner and the omnipresent rick rack i finally came up with an idea that reflected my penchant for dad jokes poorly executed crafts and killing weak plant life a discount cactus became the perfect foil for my valentine s day dream you re lookin sharp valentine sew i won t stop needling you until you put the us in cactus three puns in one sentence that s a wacky tacky world record it wasn t my first instinct to use cactus but succulent lent itself to some rather unsavory word play like more cushion for the pushin i could ve sworn that i had at least 1 700 of those tomato pin cushions when i could find nary a one i was forced to make my own using polka dot remnants and some baker s twine i ll string along with you okay baker s twine may have become something of a crafting cliche but on a vintage wooden spool it looks way better than plain old mercerized cotton i ll string along with you doris day in my dream is yours 1949 it was either this or my punny valentine happy valentine s day cheers mr tiny posted by mr tiny at 12 18 pm 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels cactus craft crazy crafty punny valentine card valentine s day valentine s day craft vintage lifestyle blog vintage valentines sunday december 25 2016 all i want for christmas is a sleep eating diary i have found myself the last two nights awoken by the distinct sensation of something being lodged in my throat the first night in a mild panic it occurred to me that it was probably one in my yearly allotment of sleep consumed spiders struggling for survival after a few determined swallows he was lost to the history of digestion leave it to me to get fat by sleep eating spiders on the second night i was struck by the improbability of eating two of my own spiders on two consecutive nights realizing quickly that the second one was your spider the one right by your bed the one you went to massacre with a slipper convincing yourself that you really smashed it but good only to examine the bottom of said slipper to see no visible traces of guts or disembodied legs anywhere leaving you sleepless for wondering if it now lurked among the bedclothes yes i just slept ate your spider and that is why you ll see no traditional present from me under the tree this year in a world caught in the proverbial web of holiday consumerism i offer you an alternative gift the gift that keeps on giving in fact better than buying you a star or planting a tree in your name i saved your life your sanity and your ability to sleep in peace i ate your spider merry christmas the web of love joi lansing cheers mr tiny posted by mr tiny at 3 23 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels alternative christmas presents chow time eating spiders in your sleep foodie vs fatty joi lansing scopitone sleep eating the web of love vintage lifestyle blog friday december 16 2016 crazy crafty mrs santa s got a brand new hat at this point failure should be no surprise to me nevertheless i am often shocked by my own missteps feeling particularly disappointed when said failure results from a supposed area of personal expertise e g crazy homemade hats disappointment abounds in mr tiny s workshop intent on showing off my wacky tacky tree toppers to the family i paraded them through the living room before the hot glue was even dry so busy humming pomp and circumstance i completely misjudged the time it would take to finish the song before explaining my creations i had barely uttered the last duh dum when mary pounced practically wrenching it from my hands she perched the snow angel atop her head and covetously inquired if it was to be her christmas hat why hadn t i thought of that really why i mean i have long held the reputation for turning just about anything into a hat candy containers placemats fruit baskets paper plates panty hose and whiffle balls etc if i hadn t thought of transforming my dollar store delights into headpieces then i was fairly certain that my imagination was broken i had failed the holiday i had failed myself the only way to rectify the situation was to make some holiday headware that would sustain mary throughout a season s worth of parties this year instead of a christmas dress mary would get a christmas head dress with one caveat i told her that if i made the hat she had to wear it to at least one holiday party it all began in very much the same way as the tree toppers the usual suspects included glitter tulle doll head hands graduated bells pipe cleaner and pompoms the red white and black tinsel trimmings came from a deconstructed penguin decoration found at the 99 cents store as i had used the baby doll head for the snow angel all i had were the face and hands of a sweet bespectacled old lady but enough about me using them i carefully began transforming the flotsam and jetsam of the craft stash into the merriest of christmas widows mrs santa i gave mrs santa a full makeover including a touch up of her eyes lips and hair she wears a mobcap and proffers a miniature christmas tree from the cake supply store the two tired skirt works as a veil the white tinsel trim is wired so the veil can be shaped as needed as the hat grew in size and scope it occurred to me that maybe this might be a bet that even i didn t have the nerve to enforce but mary called my bluff not only did she wear the mrs santa hat to a party she kind of rocked it in a bizarre crazy christmas way it works right and when it is not in commission as a hat it can be employed as a super festive toilet paper cozy mary also upped the ante of the bet at the very last minute as we were on our way out the door she dared me to wear a crazy party hat with negative time on my hands and no hat i grabbed a tinsel tree decoration from the side table quickly wiring on some ornaments and a bit of elastic to make an aluminum christmas tree hat leave it to these two weirdos to show up at a fancy grown up holiday party wearing homemade garbage on their heads the strange part is that the hats were actually a hit as it turns out having a christmas tree sitting on your head is quite the ice breaker all evening long conversations began by acknowledging the celephant in the room and the hat on his head um my eyes are down here even sage our host for the evening approved of the ceiling scraping millinery we re sending a plaster repairman next week to balance the sky high spectacle on her head mary wore all vintage a black 40s dress in rayon crepe costume jewelry and a 40s fur jacket in spite of the ebullient holiday cheer inherent in mrs santa the outfit read as a wartime femme fatale in an unlikely and depressing yuletide movie see christmas holiday and so we say to you merry christmas and a happy noir year always always deanna durbin in christmas holiday 1944 cheers mr tiny posted by mr tiny at 10 35 am 6 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels 40s christmas 1940 s 40s doll hat christmas hat crazy crafty figural hat granny craft mr tiny s workshop vintage christmas vintage crafts vintage doll hat vintage lifestyle blog sunday december 11 2016 sew what mexicali folk couture strikes again i like to pretend that my refusal to purchase scads of souvenirs is some kind of transcendence into a realm of heightened spirituality like i don t need twelve pairs of toy castanets i ll carry every beautiful moment of this spanish vacation in my heart more likely it is because i m cheap and fat and every penny saved on tchotchkes is a dollar earned toward döner kebabs fun flavored kit kats or croatian pizza don t even get me started on croatian pizza yes i m cheap chubby and lo theses many years later i m still tripping on all the untouched pairs of castanets left all over the house recuerdos de españa apparently my enlightened attitude isn t shared by my sister because from one of her work trips to mexico she returned with an avalanche of souvenirs i can just see her overwhelmed by the splendor of the mercado eagerly shouting i ll take one of everything quite conscious of my inability to control the sewing urge when handed a pile of interesting fabric mary made sure that her purchases included a few yards of a striped mexican textile in three colorways this fabric presented a particular challenge because each length was only eighteen inches wide knowing that some creative piecing would be in order i started draping the fabric on the dress form my personal design challenge was to incorporate each colorway into the completed ensemble after several rounds of pinning i decided on a poncho with a contrast yoke featuring a large neckline bow to balance the volume of the poncho i made a simple pencil skirt creating the necessary yardage by joining the fabric at the selvages fast becoming a signature of mr tiny s mexicali folk couture the poncho and its bow are trimmed in eighteen handmade pompoms i hemmed a remnant of the white fabric to make the headscarf the hat is a purchased souvenir envisioning a mid century counterpart to mary s overzealous souvenir hound my concept for a photo shoot involved a classic car full of colorful souvenirs time and finance are usually the fodder for the epic battle waged between my lofty concepts and meager reality thankfully mary s convertible corvair a million tissue paper flowers and our reliable friend photographer fabian came to my rescue when i told them that i wanted it to look like a sixty year old editorial from harper s bazaar or life magazine mary and fabian got right down to business fabian always has a deft way of combining fashion and automotive photography mary s shades are themselves a souvenir from our summer adventures in venice i have no impulse control and i don t care as much as i loved fabian s photographs i couldn t help but notice my failings as a stylist the matching basket purse i made is barely visible in any of the pictures and so i feel compelled to give the purse its due the basket purse follows the color blocking on the outfit and like the poncho it is trimmed in yellow pompoms if you re keeping score that makes twenty as much as i love it i m not sure how many opportunities mary will have to wear this outfit in its entirety like most of my mis adventures in design it scratched a creative itch allowing me to move on to the next project thanks to mary and fabian for skipping the tijuana taxi and hitching a ride on the mr tiny bandwagon tijuana taxi herb alpert the tijuana brass 1966 cheers mr tiny posted by mr tiny at 10 45 pm 4 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest labels 1950 s 1960 s corvair convertible fabian fioto fashion photography mexicali folk couture mexican souvenir mexican textiles mr tiny s workshop sew what souvenirs vintage lifestyle blog vintage sewing wednesday november 30 2016 crazy crafty wacky tacky tree toppers two ways grandmas are so crafty spending countless hours leading up to every holiday ping ponging between their pfaffs tangles of yarn and crochet hooks and shakers full of glitter the only thing more comforting than learning the myriad ways in which pom poms and bits of felt can be transformed into everything from tree skirts to toilet paper cozies was the warmth of being gathered into the suffocating succor of her bosomy embrace this christmas crazy crafty projects should prove every bit as comforting as granny crafts of yore but just imagine instead of a sweet old granny a large man of equally heavy bosom slinging a glue gun as hot as a two dollar pistol struggling every year to find the tree topper of my dreams it finally came time to make one or two of my own early drafts of potential tree toppers were expected to follow the cone shaped body of this angelic phyllis diller lookalike but phyllis stick straight lines just weren t going to cut it for the more womanly angel that i had in mind inspiration struck in the curvy form of a bell as per usual my craft making ethos is if it ain t in the stash or it can t be found at the 99 cents store then it s probably not going to happen so i headed to the mecca of the impecunious crafter finding among other sundries a set of three graduated silver bells gathering metallic rickrack tinsel pipe cleaner glitter tulle and the disembodied doll parts that my brother and his wife found in a dark corner of their garage p s if you think i m creepy what does that say about them and their garage i began to assemble my angel my supplies if it doesn t include a toilet paper roll liquid soap bottle or cottage cheese container then it doesn t really count as a granny craft does it if i were a bell i d be ringing i covered the cardboard roll with colored paper and secured it inside the large bell base i shrouded a smaller bell in glitter tulle and finished it with a band of rickrack at the bottom and at the neckline i fleshed out the upper arms with tinsel pipe cleaner you little snow angel i fashioned the wings and the silver petal peplum out of a deconstructed christmas flowers from the 99 the skirt is several layers of the tulle gathered and then trimmed in rickrack i won t say that my mom was dismayed exactly perhaps confused is a better word for her mental state when she discovered two of her thirty something sons excitedly discussing the merits of diy doll making and the results of such forgetting about the bag of doll parts he had donated to the cause my brother though that the snow angel was vintage a compliment indeed maybe she couldn t appreciate it because she hadn t notice how liberally i applied the half used packet of sticky backed rhinestones to the skirt never one to leave tacky enough alone i spied the one remaining unadorned figural lady lamp among the wacky tacky archives you may recall from the crazy crafty post about the lady in the tutti frutti lamp that independently of one another each of my brother s gave me the same sexy lady lamp base momentarily angry at myself for heretofore overlooking her obvious holiday charms i quickly realized that it was not too late to explore her tree topping potential merry christmas boys following similar steps to the snow angel tree topper i made a teal under dress with a full circle skirt and an over dress of teal netting trimmed in iridescent rickrack and rhinestones wanting to disguise the socket i found among the christmas hoardings a fully lit flashing tree topper remembering that there exists such a thing as a socket to outlet converter i hid the wires and plugged it in i think the tinsel headdress transforms this snow girl into a full on showgirl an ode to electra from gypsy devil or angel i even made her stacks of rickrack and rhinestone bangles i m electrifyin a...
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