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bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured scratch a little to the left featured phil strawn 8 comments i ran into old buddy mooch at whataburger a week back i was waiting on my number 1 meal large fries and dr pepper when he walked in with his little cloned chihuahua gravy attached to his chest via a baby papoose holder giblet the original mean as hell chihuahua finally bit the dust and he had him cloned as well as his wife s cat here kitty which is now the clone cat called here kitty kitty you have to live in texas to understand the way we think down here mooch looked pretty good even though his overalls still had the same ketchup stains as they did last year what i did notice was that his fingernails were perfect and he was wearing an expensive rolex watch what the hell mooch has always been poor as a hobo with no train to ride so this was perplexing i knew better to ask but it had to be done i spit it out mooch where did the rolex watch and the fingernails come from did you win the texas two step or sell a body part no little buddy he says me and the missus started us a nail and back scratching salon over by the old mcdonald s she got a bunch of these little vietnamese girls to do the nails and with those long nails they also do back scratching while you re having your nails done feels real good and they finally got that one spot that s been itching for years turns out it was a big old blackhead and that little gal dug it right out with that sharp little fingernail now we re rolling in the dough miss mooch got her a new kia and i got a new bass boat and a pickup lunch is on me today i appreciated that i usually pay and that damn dog bites me gravy is more mild mannered than the long dead little demon dog giblet i will admit i have some scratchy spots on my back and momo scratches me like a mongrel dog once in a while so i said i ll stop by for a manicure and some scratching every man needs a good back scratching once in a while by a little dragon lady with talons happy trials god bless the alamo and i ll catch on down the line share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured new york new york old blue eyes would have a stroke featured phil strawn 8 comments if frank were still around he would be giving his mafia buddies a call to do something about this grinning commie rat bastard who got himself elected mayor by the young nepo elitist children of the rich democrats frank was a dem but from a different era when it meant love of country and of course jfk jackie marilyn and ava i read today that the old handsy storyteller from minnesota garrison keillor is pissed that his taxes on his multi million dollar townhouse are going to be doubled so he is going back to his cozy little lake wobegon that mythical magical place where all the women are strong the men good looking and the children above average sounds like a tidy place to reside give new york city a year and all the party girls will be covered in burkas the single beta sexual men will be dating goats and the build a bear stores will be converted to build a bomb stores for all the newly indoctrinated child terrorists sounds like we need supergirl superman super dog cat woman soupy sales the fantastic four and maybe batman to fly into laguardia my son and his family briefly visited there on their way to niagara falls and he thinks his dna may have been damaged so this is what our nation has come down to socialists communists foreigners and non citizens calling the shots and we sit back and do nothing while they steal our country and tax money from us if you are a democrat and read my blog i m calling you out it s nothing personal only the way 88 million more americans and i feel let me rub some more gulf of america sea salt into our gaping national wound guess what hollywood is as dead as a rat that just ate a piece of yummy bait inside the guts of my hot tub fort worth cowtown home of the shit kicking rodeo riding pickup driving cowboy boot wearing country music playing and listening boys and girls is now the new hollywood thanks to a real cowboy turned producer taylor sheridan the girls here in fort worth don t need ozempic they look quite nice in their wrangler jeans and justin boots and they live off of mexican food whataburgers and shiner bock it would be nice if old blue eyes could come back for one more concert at madison square garden now that taylor swift is a has been and ella langley a true country artist has outsold mariah cary and the long gone whitney houston for fourteen straight weeks with choosing texas yeah take that la music machine none of this is political it s just how i feel most of the time hold my beer and watch this hide and watch and get off of my lawn share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured ask a texan the summer of the dog days is upon us featured phil strawn 18 comments the texan is it really this damn hot in texas or did i accidentally set myself on fire with a cherry bomb i recently read that only two of the original members of the grateful dead are still breathing which is a feat in itself considering all the drugs and other things they ingested not that they remember any of it now are they truly grateful they are not dead quite yet old musicians are the biggest whiners springsteen is now a competent politician and is glad to tell you about his breakdown when he isn t trying to remember which chords to play on his out of tune telecaster which doesn t say much for him since there are no competent politicians and he is no musician he can t sing anymore not that he ever could hell even bob dylan sounded better than him and at least joanie could harmonize with bob and the band did all the heavy lifting i was outside for a short while yesterday and came back in with brown crusted skin akin to homemade bread left in the oven a few minutes too long it was 106 degrees in the shade and 138 degrees in the sun my hair is at least two shades whiter thanks to the sun bleaching momo believes i suffered a mini sun stroke or something similar but it s actually early onset dementia or oldtimers and my neurosciencetist comedian doctor gave me some cute little pills to take care of it says in two months i ll be 25 percent better as long as i continue to play my instruments which stimulate my brain and keep me focused on something other than sitting by the window and waiting for the postwoman to deliver the junk mail i asked him if if i upped the dose i would be 50 percent better in four months he has a nice laugh and drives a tesla momo is a retired rn so she knows he s full of shit now i sit in my music room play my mandolin all day and write nonsense on my computer soon i will embark on my podcast adventure using my garrison keillor whisper voice combined with the folksiness of walter brennan talking to pepito about driving the tractor through the living room of the farmhouse of course being a texan you won t be able to understand my accent so i ll attach a scrolling screen of the words i speak for those of you who don t speak southern how in the hell did terry southern larry mcmurtry and truman capote ever make it through life with their southern affliction i believe taylor sheridan would appreciate my unique vocabulary in one of his many tv shows that are filmed around our town my buddy mooch is turning 80 next month and wants he and i to get together for one last songfest on our guitars he can t remember the lyrics i can t remember the chords and neither of us can carry the heavy equipment and our drummer is reduced to playing ricky ricardo bongos without lucy so it is bound to be entertaining we had our rock days back in the sixties so it deserves one final suck on the oxygen tank and a geriatric version of inna gadda da vidda wagon wheel and blackbird catch you on down the road the texan share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured the times they have changed featured phil strawn 13 comments at least that s what bob dylan said it has to be me or the results of my brain injury from five years ago but have you noticed the times have changed and dylan knew it was coming and it started about the time he was swapping spit and writing prolific pot inspired lyrics with joan baez sitting in that crappy new york apartment plucking on that old martin guitar with a bowed neck and rusted strings bob was poor as a hobo with no soup can and couldn t afford new guitar strings so joan boiled them in water and vinegar and he got a few more months out of them that trick actually works i ve tried it and it s good for your finger calluses as well dylan knew the beat crowd was old history at least everyone but kerouac and ginsberg he knew the commies were already here and planning to ruin our youth with their pious speil and now their spawn has taken up the red flag of mao pete seeger told bob about woodie guthrie and his fascism killing guitar and he thought well if woody can do it so can i and he did joan was far too clingy and wrapped him in her musical web so of course he had to ditch her after the newport folk festival at johnny cash s insistence walk the line boy get yourself a gal with some meat on her bones and can cook a pot roast with carrots and taters and your song writing will soar says ole johnny c bob was as obstinate as a politician and didn t heed the advice but he did spit out some more tunes had a motorcycle wreck and met a group of musicians from canada and one from arkansas that fit his style he made them as famous as himself the beatles had already come over the pond and changed folk loving young folks into mop top dancing fools spectors wall of sound still ruled the studio and brian wilson was writing as fast as he could in between nervous breakdowns whose hand were we supposed to hold that hair across my forehead gives me pimples chubby checker had a conniption fit because the fabs stole his song about the twist and added a shout to the title nobody did the twist anymore that was for parents martini parties at the country club and basement parties in new jersey the times started to change i got an electric guitar ditched the mandolin my father gave me ditched the violin and he loaned my gibson j45 to a relative who never returned it so the times changed for me kennedy was still in office for a few more months before our deep state took him out and nikita was pounding and breaking everything with his size 10 gucci leather shoe a breathy speaking jackie invented camelot jfk was humping marilyn and the world was on the brink of a nuclear war as castro was rolling cigars for nikita i kept playing my electric guitar it didn t faze me in the least but bob he was writing songs about all of this alice in wonderland fantasia inspired world his head was in the times had changed in a matter of months was it history or did bob inspire it maybe a bit of both then dylan picked up a fender strat plugged into a fender super reverb amp and al kooper made the hammond b3 church organ into a legend the world was aghast peter paul and mary had a collective breakdown and joan was history still writing those tired songs and whining about a long dead joe hill russia was on the move their young folks wanted dylan and the beatles but nikita wouldn t let them in so they became good little communist and toed the line much like our own good little socialist commies are doing today with an ivy league education you get two worthless degrees one that wont do you a damn bit of good and the other is a masters in socialism nikita would be proud of new york city these days a commie islamist smiling devil for a mayor my my dylan knew it was coming he warned us as pete and woody had before we didn t listen to the music close enough share this share on x opens in new window x share on bluesky opens in new window bluesky share on mastodon opens in new window mastodon share on nextdoor opens in new window nextdoor share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp share on threads opens in new window threads share on facebook opens in new window facebook print opens in new window print share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest email a link to a friend opens in new window email like this like loading featured the last home the end of the line featured phil strawn 23 comments notes from the cactus patch jul 11 2026 it wasn t the first time he had gone with my wife to visit her brother in a rehabilitation cent...
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