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description= Reflections on books and art;
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penguin edition i have appears online under the title pasting it together while the penguin handle with care appears under the online title pasting it together maybe the pieces themselves had a crack up opens by explaining that the magazine editors thought the first piece raised issues it didn t address so requested another fitzgerald pads things out by referring to himself as a cracked plate the kind you wonder whether to throw away or keep that might on reflection be ok to keep crackers in or stash away in the pantry so in a gag he says this piece is hence this sequel a cracked plate s further history by this point if not before i realised fitzgerald is not really describing a nervous breakdown or collapse so much as depression suddenly for no reason and for the first time in his life he becomes paralysed with depression every aspect of life loses its savour he just wants to avoid people all hours of the day feel like 3am when you carefully list all your failings and shortcomings it is a leak through which unknown to myself my enthusiasm and my vitality had been steadily and prematurely trickling away friends criticised him for the indiscreetness of the essays not so much the description of mental illness as such itself quite a vogue in the middle 1930s when a number of famous writers had nervous breakdowns but the dirty washing of his personal life he held up for the world s scrutiny hemingway criticised them to john dos passos and fitzgerald s editor maxwell perkins thus in the first piece he mentions his regret at being neither tall nor muscular enough to play in the college football team in this one he harks back to two crucial moments in his young manhood one was during his university days again at princeton the prestigious east coast university he tells us how at a crucial moment in his undergraduate career he was diagnosed with malaria and forced to go home to rest for a few months during those few months he lost his opportunity to achieve certain offices the chief one was the presidency of the triangle club a musical comedy idea and also i dropped back a class to me college would never be the same it seemed on one march afternoon that i had lost every single thing i wanted there were to be no badges of pride no medals after all he now reckons something inside him snapped some old desire for personal dominance was broken and gone the second one concerned the love of his life presumably zelda sayre they met and fell in love while he was stationed at an army base in the south at montgomery alabama in 1917 being trained before shipping off to the great war when he was demobbed without ever getting to france another type of failure and source of frustration he returned to new york to get a good job to make him a viable prospect for marriage and lived for his letters from his southern belle but eventually his prospects remaining poor zelda broke the engagement off now less than a year later he had the novel he d been working on accepted he became famous began earning serious money from his stories and zelda changed her mind and accepted him they were married in april 1920 fitzgerald doesn t give us any of this information in fact zelda is nowhere named in the three pieces but he frets about her rejection of him when he was poor and the experience of relative poverty clearly still rankles the man with the jingle of money in his pocket who married the girl a year later would always cherish an abiding distrust an animosity towards the leisure class not the conviction of a revolutionist but the smouldering hatred of a peasant in the years since then i have never been able to stop wondering where my friends money came from i recognise the experience and the feeling the smouldering hatred of a peasant maybe that characterises some of my feelings in this blog anyway he tells us that for the 16 years that followed from marriage in 1920 to the crack up in 1936 he lived fine distrusting the rich but earning enough money to share some of their mobility and grace he endured various setbacks and blows to his pride but survived them better than some friends and fellow writers again he makes the fine distinction that it s not the obvious external blows that do for you it s something from within trouble has no necessary connection with discouragement discouragement has a germ of its own as different from trouble as arthritis is different from a stiff joint only slowly has he realised that the crack up bears similarities to the first two setbacks he s just described when a new sky cut off the sun last spring i didn t at first relate it to what had happened fifteen or twenty years ago only gradually did a certain family resemblance come through an over extension of the flank a burning of the candle at both ends a call upon physical resources that i did not command like a man over drawing at his bank in its impact this blow was more violent than the other two but it was the same in kind a feeling that i was standing at twilight on a deserted range with an empty rifle in my hands and the targets down no problem set simply a silence with only the sound of my own breathing the most quotable part is like a man over drawing at his bank which i ve seen quoted elsewhere but for me the most striking bit is the notion of the sun being cut off or occluded depression is like the sun going black and what this means that faith or belief in any activities leaks away in this silence there was a vast irresponsibility towards every obligation a deflation of all my values a passionate belief in order a disregard of motives or consequences in favour of guess work and prophecy a feeling that craft and industry would have a place in any world one by one these and other convictions were swept away as part of this he takes the opportunity to take a swipe at film as a medium and an industry being broadly anti film i agree and enjoyed his little diatribe i saw that the novel which at my maturity was the strongest and supplest medium for conveying thought and emotion from one human being to another was becoming subordinated to a mechanical and communal art that whether in the hands of hollywood merchants or russian idealists was capable of reflecting only the tritest thought the most obvious emotion it was an art in which words were subordinate to images where personality was worn down to the inevitable low gear of collaboration it s very similar to virginia woolf s dismissal of film in her essay on cinema where she witheringly describes how film reduces the psychological complexity of great works of literature to a handful of trite visual clichés so we lurch and lumber through the most famous novels of the world so we spell them out in words of one syllable written too in the scrawl of an illiterate schoolboy a kiss is love a broken cup is jealousy a grin is happiness death is a hearse obviously all the more ironic as fitzgerald in his last years had become a writer in hollywood here he is biting the hand that fed him then again he seems to imply that this criticism was itself a form of self contempt a way of attacking himself he exaggerates the alleged decline of the medium which made his fortune the novel in order to make his own plight more extreme forced to think he says he has come to five conclusions about his life 1 for twenty years edmund wilson has been his intellectual conscience i e has done his serious thinking for him 2 another man whose name he won t give has represented for him the moral good life not a writer but a guy in the fur business in the northwest in difficult situations fitzgerald asked himself how this guy would have acted 3 that a third contemporary had been an artistic conscience to him he says he hasn t imitated his infectious style because his own style was formed before he published anything but acknowledges an awful pull towards him presumably he means ernest hemingway 4 that a fourth man came to dictate his relations with other people when these relations were successful how to do what to say this man had seen the game analysed it and beaten it and his word was good enough for me does he mean the charismatic leader of the riviera lifestyle gerald murphy 5 and that his political conscience had scarcely existed for ten years save as an element of irony when belatedly after the great crash he began to ponder the system he lived in it was a man much younger than myself who brought it to me with a mixture of passion and fresh air i wonder who this was le vot p 297 critics criticised fitzgerald for baring his soul quite so nakedly in these articles but he is totally discreet about his wife never named and daughter not even mentioned and his memories and or beefs with princeton pale next to the hundred pages he spent describing the place in this side of paradise somehow it s this list of men he s deferred to honest though it is which in my opinion makes him seem really weak and hopeless as if he s never been able to think or manage for himself his last thought is a different angle on the notion that the sun has been swept away and all vitality drained from life this is that the self has been removed so there was not an i any more not a basis on which i could organize my self respect save my limitless capacity for toil that it seemed i possessed no more it was strange to have no self to be like a little boy left alone in a big house who knew that now he could do anything he wanted to do but found that there was nothing that he wanted to do similar but different to the various essays and passages in her novels where virginia woolf herself prey to terrifying bouts of mental collapse vividly describes the sense of having too many selves a multitude of selves and the enormous struggle of trying to marshal them together to make a whole to create a viable persona to confront the hostile world with they appear to lie at opposite ends of a spectrum virginia with too many selves to handle scott with no self at all 3 pasting it together esquire april 1936 having experienced a crack up of all values he had to deal with it once he had been at the centre of a giddy social circle once he had been consulted by friends who trusted his judgement very like the organising wisdom of his character dick diver so the question became one of finding why and where i had changed where was the leak through which unknown to myself my enthusiasm and my vitality had been steadily and prematurely trickling away he lost his detachment his ability to stay detached from the sadness of the characters he described gatsby diver numerous short story characters the iron detachment crumbled and he became one with his sad failure creations in rather convoluted phrases he describes how he packed a case and went a thousand miles away checked into a simple apartment with the minimum of food and tried to work it out he eventually realised he needed to stop being the fake person he d been being he had to stop giving himself away letting others use and sponge off him i think this is the meaning of the phrase about being overdrawn on the bank i must continue to be a writer because that was my only way of life but i would cease any attempts to be a person to be kind just or generous so when he gets back home the first thing he does is throw away all those begging letters all the requests to read this man s manuscript market this man s poem speak free on the radio indite notes of introduction give this interview help with the plot of this play with this domestic situation perform this act of thoughtfulness or charity with a wonderful writer s nous he says he plans to become like all those smooth operators who say things like i m sorry but business is business or you ought to have thought of that before you got into this trouble or i m not the person to see about that and he must work on a deep smile the smile of insincerity and the voice he satirically tells us he s working on a voice of heartlessness which will simply reflect back what people give him or casually dismiss the weak old worn out people or young struggling people this self flagellating satire continues on a rather shrill or desperate note if you were dying of starvation outside my window i would go out quickly and give you the smile and the voice if no longer the hand and stick around till somebody raised a nickel to phone for the ambulance that is if i thought there would be any copy in it for me trying to kid himself he s the hard boiled type when everyone in the world can see what a soft touch he really is in this satirical vein he rejoices that he has at last become a writer let the good people do the good deeds and burn themselves out with the endless burden a writer need have no such ideals unless he makes them for himself and this one has quit right at the end he says something interesting he says that he seems to have had an unnatural gift for happiness now he realises that the the natural state of the sentient adult is a qualified un happiness but this wisdom has come late and hard for him because he has spent most of his adult life prey to what he now realises was an unnatural degree of happiness my own happiness in the past often approached such an ecstasy that i could not share it even with the person dearest to me but had to walk it away in quiet streets and lanes with only fragments of it to distil into little lines in books but i think that my happiness or talent for self delusion or what you will was an exception it s a very telling comment on his own character an unnatural gift for happiness and then goes on to make the association so many friends and critics and commentators did from that day to this that in some magic way fitzgerald s personality matched mimicked or echoed the spirit of the age it was not the natural thing but the unnatural unnatural as the boom and my recent experience parallels the wave of despair that swept the nation when the boom was over commentary at the end of reading these three little essays are we any closer to understanding what caused fitzgerald s crack up no not really he doesn t so much explain as describe and half the description is of his own puzzlement at its causes and do we understand how he got himself out of it no not really the second half of the final essay is pretty funny in its vehement satire in his insistence that he s going to become a cynical hard boiled tough guy but it fools no one and more to the point it s not a method anyone else suffering from depression could remotely learn from it s a kind of literary solution to the problem of the essays of the text he s created rather than any solution viable in real life andré le vot it was in the three essays constituting the crack up that while writing to say he could no longer write he found the piercing irony the familiar language the sober and contained tone that would stamp most of his work after 1935 le vot p 308 5 early success 1937 a short 6 pages meditation on the impact on fitzgerald of such ...
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