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the often trite good morning america in the segment i linked they too discuss this timeless question of an impossible platonic friendship between men and women the segment was an obvious scheme to promote steve harvey s new book act like a lady think like a man which i won t link because of the strict gender roles and stereotypes that even the title doesn t fail to perpetuate for empirical evidence gma referenced a study published in the journal of personality and social psychology that found that an opposite sex friendship can end in an affair 15 of the time emphasis mine what about the other 85 of the time that sure doesn t seem like enough statistical evidence to back up the claim to me the whole timeless question leaves me more than prickly it assumes that men can t think with their appropriate brain and that they are sexually attracted to every woman they meet it also ascertains that women are 1 naive and 2 not sexually driven this sort of thinking is damaging for men because it sets men up to be the ultimate perpetrators they are always on the prowl and are singly sex minded it promotes the idea that it s always a man s responsibility to get into a woman s pants and it s solely a woman s role to guard her virginity pureness sex whatever for women it s a double whammy not only are women once again regarded as naive helpless and meek doing whatever they can to protect their one and only precious commodity but they are determined to not have the same sex drive that their male counterparts posses continuing to think in the heteronormative way in which this question is presented i think that mature and responsible men and women can absolutely have platonic relationships that don t deteriorate into a let s rip each other s clothes off and make passionate love in the bedroom situation i think the dynamic between opposite sex friends has to be different and that your partners have to be involved in the friendship for example it shouldn t be a secret friendship because that sets up a sketchy relationship from the beginning but all in all i think it is entirely possible for heterosexual men and women to have close friends of the opposite sex readers what do you think cross posted at feministing community where there is some discussion going on in the comments sections posted by radical reminders at 9 18 am 11 comments labels friendship gender roles relationships sexuality stereotypes friday august 14 2009 the latest for afghan women afghanistan passes barbaric law diminishing women s rights rehashed legislation allows husbands to deny wives food if they fail to obey sexual demands a new law was recently passed in afghanistan that allows shia men to deny their wives food if their wives refuse their husbands sexual demands another element of this new legislation grants full guardianship of children to their father exclusively human rights watch noted that these laws contradict afghanistan s constitution and called on leaders to repeal the new legislation posted by radical reminders at 3 01 pm 3 comments labels afghanistan intimate partner violence legal system sexual abuse and rape sexual rights violence against women thursday july 16 2009 worried about being a sweaty bride i was taking a hiatus from blogging but then i got this in an email from theknot and couldn t resist writing about it subject worried about sweating excessively on your wedding day botox is approved by the fda as a treatment for excessive underarm sweating when antiperspirants fail there are enough things to worry about on your wedding day sweat stains on your wedding dress should not be one of them really so theknot recommends brides to inject a toxin into their bodies so that they do not sweat on their wedding day god forbid posted by radical reminders at 11 08 am 4 comments labels beauty health wedding tuesday june 16 2009 more racially charged police brutality an ambulance being driven by a black emt failed to yield to two white police officers why does the skin color of the men involved matter because after you watch this video you might agree that this confrontation as the news gingerly calls it may have been racially motivated the cop grabbed the emt driver by the throat how is that appropriate the emt driver calmly discusses that he is transporting a patient to the hospital the trooper doesn t seem to care much about anything but punishing the emt driver here is the clip i saw this morning on the news in light of all the racially motivated police brutality recently this one shouldn t go unmentioned posted by radical reminders at 10 24 am 3 comments labels police brutality power racism monday june 15 2009 june 15th is national man day apparently today is national man day according to two indiana brothers the longanecker boys declared june 15th to be a day for men to stand up and do manly things and reclaim their masculinity the brothers are spreading their message using facebook that encourages men to participate in manly things today what are these many things you may ask well according to these boys manly activities include being left alone by your woman no chores no telling you to be home by dinner time no helping with the kids and no honey do lists sitting in your favorite chair and scratching yourself shooting stuff or blowing something up eating steak shooting animals punching someone in the face sic from their facebook group on june 15th men across the nation will unite in one cause and one voice saying i am man on that day men across the nation will blow things up they ll shoot big guns they ll punch each other for no reason they ll pump some iron or they ll watch every rambo movie from beginning to end straight through and when asked why we do these things we ll say because i m a man since when has there been a time when that answer to a question has was unacceptable since when has being a man been lame since men have let down their guard and become sissies it s time to take back the crown of masculinity it s time for men to be men what should you do on this day be the man god made you to be be a good father drop kick your best friend when he least expects it dump a whole tank of gasoline on a pile of sticks and ignite it by shooting another can of gas be responsible for your actions go out there invite every man you know eat an 18 oz steak get your wife some flowers punch another guy in the jugular and be a man hey at least be a good father made the list as laughable as all this may seem there is a serious and growing problem with what young boys are taught about masculinity patriarchy sexism and machismo culture are just as damaging for men and boys as they are for women for example boys learn the type of masculinity that the longanecker brothers are advocating at a young age are are rewarded for being tough macho and strong in the physical sense this also teaches them that being a real man is associated with violence power and control the consequences of this are not only great for women due to increased instances of rape sexual harassment domestic violence and physical abuse but also for men who are often violent against other men men commit the majority of violent acts in this country towards both women and men because they are taught early on that they are being manly by doing so there are many wonderful groups forming that teach the type of masculinity that empowers young men in ways other than through violence these groups embrace inward evaluation compassion bounding and positive contribution to the community check out these sites for more info and please leave others in comments if you know of more v men homeboy industries and mavaw posted by radical reminders at 10 13 am 4 comments labels masculinity stereotypes violence wednesday june 10 2009 intelligender a new over the counter product called intelligender can possibly predict the sex of an unborn fetus as early as 10 weeks old it claims that within 10 minutes of taking the urine test a woman will be able to tell her baby s gender the specimen will turn green if it s a boy and orange if it s a girl a product like this has serious implications in countries and families where one sex is preferred over another 10 weeks is early enough to terminate the pregnancy and the thought that this product may aid in abortions based on the sex of a child is more than troublesome for example china s preference for male babies is ingrained in both culture and politics at one point the chinese government set into place a one child only policy as an attempt to target overpopulation which significantly increased the number of female infanticides the communist party took power in 1949 and outlawed this practice however in the 1980 s the chinese government census continued to show hundreds of thousands of missing baby girls each year the practice of female infanticide in china is most prevalent in rural areas where boys are valued for their ability to help with the land and take care of their parents later on in life girls however traditionally move in with their in laws and cannot further help their birth family baby girls are often abandoned suffocated or drowned soon after birth aside from being an inhuman unethical and sexist practice female infanticide effects the chinese culture in many ways in 1997 the london telegraph quoted a chinese journal which warned the male to female ratio in china has become so unbalanced that there will soon be an army of bachelors in china an estimated 90 million chinese men in search of a spouse female infanticide is an old practice dating back to 200 b c in greece it still exists today mostly cited in china and india the makers of intelligender state they will not be distributing to china and india still products like these terrify me it makes me feel like we are one step closer to being able to generate our ideal child at least it turns orange and green rather than pink and blue oh for small victories thanks joanne for sending this over and pointing out the i need it right now instant world we currently live in posted by radical reminders at 9 13 am 6 comments labels abortion america babies china family pregnancy reproduction sexism friday june 5 2009 friday feel good new hampshire legalizes same sex marriage now new hampshire can really proclaim the right to live free or die posted by radical reminders at 4 18 pm 2 comments labels friday feel good friday feel good gay penguin couple adopt hatch egg via bbc news and edge a pair of male penguins in a german zoo have taken in an egg that was rejected by its biological parents hatched the egg and now are rearing the chick according to a june 3 article carried at bbc news such behavior is not unknown in many animal species from fruit flies to birds to primates same gender sexual contact and social bonding including long term pair bonding have been observed in the case of z and vielpunkt two penguins at the zoo in bremerhaven the pair had been observed attempting to hatch a stone when a male female pair of penguins at the zoo rejected their own egg keepers gave it to z and vielpunkt who tended and hatched the egg and now a month after its hatching continue to care for the chick posted by radical reminders at 9 52 am 2 comments labels animals fatherhood friday feel good gay rights relationships thursday may 21 2009 i was going to ask you what s new but i think i know anyone watch american idol this is extremely disturbing to me on so so many levels posted by radical reminders at 6 19 pm 5 comments labels america awards body image celebrities media reality tv sexuality sexualization thinness monday may 18 2009 actually yes that was racist i was eating lunch last week with some of the counselors at the clinic the chinese food arrived and they were passing it around to everyone who had ordered as they passed it to one woman she exclaimed if i eat any more chinese food this week my eyes are gonna slant i turned to her astonished and said wow i haven t heard a racial slur like that in a long time that wasn t racist she demanded actually yes it was when you mock an already marginalized group of people based on their appearance that s racist you stereotyped a population based on physical attributes i retorted she snarled at me and proceeded to eat her egg roll this happened last friday i came in to work early this week and found a chinese food menu strategically placed on my office door is it a coincidence that someone wanted to share a chinese food menu with me this week maybe am i being harassed possibly would they do this to me if i was noticeably asian probably not i don t really understand why it s still acceptable in american culture to mock asian americans do people not realize the racism here because asian americans are the model minority they supposedly have assimilated into american culture better than any other minority group and thus discrimination does not affect them or is it because the american stereotype of asian americans as docile is so prevalent that people think it is acceptable to discriminate a group of people that are too well mannered to speak up for reference some truths about chinese food americans and discrimination all brought to you through a ted talk posted by radical reminders at 12 02 pm 11 comments labels asian at work discrimination food racism stereotypes thursday may 14 2009 horse herstory filly rachel alexandra the first female horse to be entered in the preakness stakes is making history and a lot of controversy regardless of how you feel about horse races at least the girls are getting a chance in the sport and kicking some boy horse butt posted by radical reminders at 7 43 am 2 comments labels horse media sports wednesday may 13 2009 feminist label where is there room for me a white woman who stands firmly for equality and acknowledges the discrimination within feminism and is committed to pointing out and relinquishing white cis able hetero and class privilege i want to identify with a feminism willing to embrace all people and challenge preconceived notions of what and who is and isn t feminist one focused on celebrating diversity and learning for everyone s experiences where do i fit because i m a bit confused these days please read these two posts by renee prior to responding womanist musings i am not a feminist womanist musings can a white woman be a womanist i agree with commenter juju who said ultimately the work that you do is much more important than the label you wear and you should just call yourself whatever works for you and continue doing the work i understand and agree with focusing on activism but often identity fuels a social movement and propels it forward with greater force i would hate our progress and activism to slow because we re too busy focusing on what our identity should be i wrote about this a bit in my i m not a feminist but post george washington university s dr zucker 2004 published a study addressing this dr zucker s research explored women dis...