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fill in for me on my show i did my morning foundational routine enjoyed my coffee and headed back to the hospital not much had changed except the decision had been made to admit her to the hospital in an effort to help speed the process of clearing up the uti and the severe effects it tends to create i m not certain mom even knew i left she didn t mention it she was pretty out of it as the nursing staff waited for the hospitalist to assign her a regular room they came in to tell us mom needed a covid 19 test before admission to her room i asked if it was a rapid test and indeed it was just then mom needed to use the restroom and that required help from this er bed where she was connected to the things you re connected to in the er i offered to step out during this time in the lobby i was informed i couldn t hang around there and needed to go outside or to my car i did go to the car where i connected with several support friends the rapid test was administered around 8am i was told the results would take about 30 minutes back in her room and at almost 9am we hadn t heard anything mom and i were visiting about random things when suddenly she remembered the test and asked me how long it would take i told mom it should be done already and that i would go check and be right back to let her know the nurse at the desk checked and the results weren t showing on her computer screen she called the lab directly for the results when she hung up i knew it wasn t good who are you are you next of kin oh boy when they use the phrase next of kin you know it isn t going to be good the test was positive you ve been exposed you re not allowed to go back in her room you need to go home immediately and quarantine for ten days i follow the rules ya know i do i wear a mask i follow the guidelines but i can t go back in her room to say goodbye i confirmed what she was saying to me you mean i can t go back in there and at least say goodbye i have to leave right this second i can t do that i just told her i d be right back i can t just not go back in there the look on my face and the tone of my voice made it very clear i was going back in there to tell her about the test and to comfort her before leaving the hospital the nurse said okay do what you need to do make it quick mom has spent the last five months watching coverage of this virus on tv one of her worst fears and mine was that she d get it and here we are with a positive test mom was wide awake what did they say now mom you re going to be okay right then mom s bottom lip started quivering my heart started to break and then i just said it mom your test was positive her reaction was immediate and dramatic as you would expect she went into uncontrollable sobbing and at that point it was to hell with staying six feet away from her i wasn t making this quick i rubbed her hand and kissed her forehead through the mask i spoke softly with words of comfort and reassuring as tears streamed down my cheeks you re going to make it through this momma she cried and i just stood there silent gently rubbing her hand they tell me i have to go home and quarantine i can t visit you while you re here but we ll talk on the phone okay i must have been in there twenty minutes but the nursing staff didn t interrupt as soon as mom calmed i promised her she was going to be okay even though i wasn t sure if that was true or not and made my way out into the parking lot i got to the car and started praying then i reached out to friends family colleagues everyone i spent a good hour in that parking lot in my car alone but surrounded by the amazing support from so many people i needed that support staying connected helps keep me well as a compulsive overeater food addict in recovery one day at a time it is circumstances like these when i have a monumental choice to make i can lean into this daily practice of things or i can fall into the abyss of my disease just for those emotional moments i leaned into my daily practice and the most beautiful support was there to help hold me up i kept thinking i hope i didn t just lie to my momma when i told her she was going to make it through this i wasn t home two hours before the health department called for contact tracing i was asked to quarantine for fourteen days not ten like the hospital suggested the plan was for me to be tested after 7 days or sooner if i started developing symptoms i made arrangements and plans to do my job 100 from home i m fortunate to now have the capability of broadcasting straight from my spare bedroom if needed now it s needed i spoke to mom on the phone a little after 11am she was settled into her room and sounded calm but scared the health department informed me how mom would be tested again this time with the pcr test just to confirm the original result the results of that test would take 24 48 hours i tried to keep conversations with mom very brief during the first 24 hours in her room she gets winded fast if she s talking for too much longer than 5 minutes or so but last night when she opened the conversation with son i m so scared we settled in for a nice long soft conversation about faith hope and the road ahead it did her good and it did me good too the prayers generated by the facebook post i shared about mom s situation were absolutely beautiful and overflowing if you were one of those beautiful people thank you when i called the nurse today to get an update on how she was doing i was hoping for a repeat of the report i received on saturday she was actually showing signs of improvement her vitals were good her labs were looking better and today s report was very similar then the nurse said the doctor has ordered another pcr test i thought that was strange she just had one and we were awaiting those results she didn t see the results it was confusing so she offered to call me back upon clarification in the meantime i spoke with mom again and told her how the nurse said she was improving instead of getting worse then the nurse called me back i hung up with mom to take the call your mom s pcr test was negative that s why they ve ordered another pcr test to confirm wait what really you mean the rapid test may have been a false positive that s right wow wow wow wow okay that s the best news ever prayers answered calling mom back to give her this wonderful news was so much fun her voice perked up and you could hear her smile and her relief over the phone the rapid test must be refined and made more reliable for someone as vulnerable as my mom to receive a positive covid 19 test result feels like a death sentence a false positive is like saying oh sorry jk ing you re fine witnessing mom s reaction to the news of her positive test was easily the most heartbreaking thing i ve ever experienced but i m immensely grateful one more negative from this latest pcr test and mom is in the same situation she s been in many times before recovering from a horrible uti and she will be okay she s already showing wonderful signs of improvement what a rollercoaster of emotions i ve made my daily practice of intentional actions very important this weekend i ve stayed connected and by the grace of god stayed food sober three different colleagues have dropped things off at my door dinner on saturday night black pepper and my grocery order all delivered to my doorstep as i quarantine i m grateful i will call the health department tomorrow and find out if it s necessary for me to continue this quarantine i don t think i have any real symptoms although my brain has created some mild ones i m pretty sure they may ask me to get a test early and wait for the all clear or they may ask me to wait until the 28th i don t know i ll find out when i speak to the case manager in the meantime this entire experience has reaffirmed spiritual mental and emotional things for me it showed me the very real power of connections and how these help keep me well i ve written and spoken about maintaining the fundamental elements of this daily practice come what may many many times but trust it isn t personal strength or willpower that makes that possible i can t rely on those things because i have very little of each but i do have this practice of intentional actions each day and they help keep me okay i hope and pray i never forget to lean into these things because if i ever lean away i may not ever make it back that s the truth social media accountability postings view this post on instagram whatsforlunch 165g fresh catfish filet prepared with 17g yellow corn meal and approximately 4 seconds olive oil cooking spray with 60g refined sugar free bbq sauce 3 9oz fresh peach 2oz envy apple slices dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 342 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 2 2020 at 4 09pm pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner tostadas been awhile for these two tostada shells sharing 186g fat free refried beans 2 tablespoons salsa verde 58g black olives 40g white onions 42g shredded colby jack then baked topped with 40g shredded lettuce 30g sour cream 140g watermelon dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 638 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 2 2020 at 8 01pm pdt view this post on instagram morningfruit 5oz envy apple slices 6 1oz cara cara orange and 101g black seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 231 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 3 2020 at 5 59am pdt view this post on instagram whatsforbreakfast ezekiel toasts one topped with 4 egg whites 1 whole egg 1 tablespoon salsa verde and 14g colby jack one topped with 70g avocado 201g cantaloupe dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 538 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 3 2020 at 9 29am pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner bbq hatch chili burger with havarti homemade air fried okra and a 1 2 cara cara orange 5oz 96 lean ground beef pressed then cut in half then stacked with 30g refined sugar free bbq sauce 29g roasted hatch chili pepper and 1 slice 8oz havarti cheese on a joseph s flax oat bran whole wheat pita 132g fresh okra straight from the farmers market sliced and prepared with 2 egg whites salt pepper 41g yellow corn meal and approximately 4 seconds olive oil cooking spray then air fried for 15m at 400 3 8oz cara cara orange dailypractice spicyplate foodplan foodplanvariety weighandmeasure 632 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 3 2020 at 6 37pm pdt view this post on instagram earlier morningfruit 344g cantaloupe 5 6oz envy apple slices dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 200 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 4 2020 at 7 37am pdt view this post on instagram whatsforbreakfast ezekiel toasts one topped with 5 egg whites 1 whole egg 1 tablespoon salsa verde and 14g shredded colby jack one topped with 59g avocado mashed and seasoned simply with salt pepper 6oz fresh pineapple 49g black seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 586 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 4 2020 at 9 46am pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner 10 1oz baked cod atop a bed of spicy potatoes oh my i used too much hatch pepper 185g simply potatoes brand fresh diced potato prepared with 5 4oz mushrooms 182g diced zucchini 33g roasted hatch chili pepper and 1 5 slices havarti hot dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 682 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 4 2020 at 7 40pm pdt view this post on instagram morningfruit assortment 1 8oz envy apple slices 6 5oz cara cara orange wedges and 174g cantaloupe foodplan weighandmeasure dailypractice 182 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 5 2020 at 5 20am pdt view this post on instagram big whatsforbreakfast brunch really 4 egg whites 2 whole eggs topped with 1 tablespoon salsa verde 28g colby jack two sprouted grain ezekiel toasts sharing 95g avocado mashed and seasoned simply with salt pepper 54g black seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 671 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 5 2020 at 9 39am pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner 12 1oz grilled boneless skinless chicken thighs 225g red potatoes prepared with one single tablespoon half half topped with 7g 1 2tbs butter 115g grilled zucchini 81g grilled yellow squash with approximately 3 seconds olive oil cooking spray dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 648 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 5 2020 at 7 55pm pdt view this post on instagram morningfruit 6 1oz cara cara orange 158g red seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 194 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 6 2020 at 5 14am pdt view this post on instagram whatsforbreakfast two sprouted grain ezekiel toasts sharing 113g avocado mashed and seasoned simply with salt pepper 5 egg whites 1 whole egg topped with 14g colby jack 85g red seedless grapes weighandmeasure foodplan dailypractice 607 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 6 2020 at 9 55am pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner pita burger 5oz 96 lean beef 33g mustard and 1 5 slices havarti on a joseph s flax oat bran whole wheat pita 170g simply potatoes brand fresh diced potatoes air fried and topped with 14g colby jack 5 6oz cara cara orange dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 652 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 6 2020 at 2 58pm pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner 2 calories were too low needed a little more 5 4oz petite sirloin kabob with 85g grilled zucchini 52g grilled red onion 5 2oz anjou pear dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 370 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 6 2020 at 7 52pm pdt view this post on instagram morningfruit 434g cantaloupe 70g red seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 194 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 7 2020 at 5 29am pdt view this post on instagram somebody forgot to pack the avocado this morning me whatsforbreakfast egg cheese on toasted sprouted grain ezekiel bread 2 whole eggs 4 egg whites and 28g colby jack on ezekiel 5 1oz anjou pear 63g red seedless grapes dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 606 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 7 2020 at 8 07am pdt view this post on instagram whatsforlunch with mom 8 1oz home grilled boneless skinless chicken thighs 3 75oz mashed potatoes no gravy kfc and 3 75oz green beans kfc dailypractice foodplan weighandmeasure 378 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 7 2020 at 3 01pm pdt view this post on instagram appetizer 8 tortilla chips and approximately 6 tablespoons guacamole dailypractice foodplan 237 cal a post shared by sean anderson seanaanderson on aug 7 2020 at 7 35pm pdt view this post on instagram whatsfordinner 2 medium soft corn tortillas with approximately 4oz fajita chicken approximately 3oz refined sugar free enchilada sauce approximately 40g lettuce and approximate...