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Text of the page (random words):
vember 2023 1 august 2023 3 july 2023 3 june 2023 5 may 2023 4 april 2023 4 march 2023 4 february 2023 3 january 2023 5 december 2022 4 november 2022 4 october 2022 5 september 2022 4 august 2022 3 july 2022 4 june 2022 4 may 2022 3 april 2022 3 march 2022 2 february 2022 1 january 2022 3 december 2021 5 november 2021 3 october 2021 2 september 2021 1 august 2021 2 july 2021 1 june 2021 1 may 2021 2 april 2021 3 march 2021 3 february 2021 3 january 2021 4 december 2020 5 november 2020 5 october 2020 4 september 2020 3 august 2020 4 july 2020 3 june 2020 4 may 2020 5 april 2020 4 march 2020 3 february 2020 4 january 2020 2 december 2019 2 november 2019 2 october 2019 3 september 2019 1 august 2019 2 july 2019 2 june 2019 5 may 2019 6 april 2019 5 march 2019 3 february 2019 5 january 2019 3 december 2018 3 november 2018 7 october 2018 4 september 2018 4 august 2018 4 july 2018 3 june 2018 5 may 2018 4 april 2018 6 march 2018 4 february 2018 4 january 2018 4 december 2017 1 august 2017 1 february 2017 1 january 2017 1 december 2016 1 november 2016 5 october 2016 1 august 2016 1 july 2016 2 june 2016 1 may 2016 2 april 2016 3 march 2016 4 february 2016 4 january 2016 3 december 2015 3 november 2015 4 october 2015 2 search for thankskeeping i live in a place where thankfulness isn t considered fundamental to the happiness recipe we talk about it alot but seldom do it why gratitude is easily one of the most important mind postures for anyone seeking to get more out of life according psychotherapeutical professionals it s fundamental in positive psychology research gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions relish good experiences improve their health deal with adversity and build strong relationships for us mericans opportunities for thankfulness abound even our cars even live in tiny houses the majority of the rest of the world doesn t live like we do with many wondering how they ll pay the bills or where their next meal might come from long walks to water and they don t struggle with thanklessness any more than we do but if i suffer some great loss i ll suddenly see the value of whatever has been stripped away and miss the days that it was in my possession this is especially true for relationships where we take someone for granted feeling like we don t really need them then gutted to the core when they re gone for whatever reason the same spirit would fall upon me if for example i was forced to live in a smaller house like the one elaine and i lived in when we were first married we d have many discussions about how it used to be in the house we own now how nice it was to spread out in the basement for movie nights or the much bigger than necessary walk in closet etc but because it s currently in our possession and because we struggle with being thankful we re typically meh about it and so our thanksgiving will be fairly absent of thankfulness though we ll stuff ourselves with a feast that we d die for if it was out of our grasp maybe thanksgiving should be a day where we instead eat crackers and ketchup and go through family albums marinating in the memories and taking stock of the things that we ve built together i d miss the food but i ll wager that there would be much more gratitude in the celebration because gratitude isn t dependent on things like material posessions or wealth or getting everything on our terms the more we have the more we get grumpy and entitled when we don t get what we want in parenting parlance we call this spoiled but that can t be what us grown ups are struggling with spoiled children are angry entitled assholes when they don t get what they want and thankfulness is something they rarely experience that s not us right with regards to being more thankful in the new year i ll spare you all my thoughts on how we might achieve that instead i ll finish with the idea that it s good to sit and think about all of the things we should be thankful about then with as much brutal honesty as we can muster think about all of the reasons why we re not thankful all of the relational tensions financial letdowns material betrayals carrot on a stick distractions and whatever other cosmic perpetrations that have given us a million excuses to ignore the good things that have been piled upon us for people who believe that god should be involved in this i ll leave you with a dangerous prayer dear god i would like to be more thankful take anything from me that might be getting in the way amen that s how i pray when i really want something from god i don t do it often because i think he s serious about the take anything that s getting in the way part every time i ve prayed like that i was shortly thereafter confronted with a problem that i didn t know existed and or was too afraid to face i found freedom on the other side of course but not without a trip across the devil s lawn whatever it is that s influencing our decision to keep thankfulness locked away in a safe place isn t good or weak or easy to deal with if we give god permission to stir it up we re asking for trouble good trouble the kind that leads to freedom but trouble nonetheless either way for anyone looking for more out of life letting thankfulness out of its cage is the quickest way forward posted on november 23 2023 author lloydlandry 6 comments on thankskeeping on catching bad decisions before they happen when i was in the eighth grade my parents bought an alto saxophone for me a selmer mark vii handmade in france top of the line it was beautiful and sounded a hundred times better than my old beat up beginner horn years later when i met my wife i was paranoid about what my paltry financial situation implied so i started selling things the saxophone being at the top of the list a good friend thought it was a dumb idea don t do it he pleaded the saxophone sold for 1700 sight unseen i could ve gotten much more had i spent a bit more time in the selling process granted that s not the dumbest decision i ve ever made it s just the only one i feel like sharing i have a long painful list of unwise choices that i ve perpetrated over the years but since i ve been married the list has gotten shorter as my dumb decisions now have to pass through someone else s filter many don t survive in the painful process of learning to say no to these temptresses i ve learned their game for me there are three elements that are always present in the staging area of a bad decision as a former pastor i ll say that i ve seen these precede the bad decisions of other folks as well maybe they re universal fomo first up is the idea that my quality of life is somehow in jeopardy if i don t make this particular decision the story goes my life will continue its meaningless humdrum trajectory and so i m convinced that i need this thing experience change without it there s no hope of finding the life that i m looking for we call it fomo or fear of missing out and it has an odd mixture of hope and fear at its core we ve all felt it and we know that its attending pressure and anxiety don t lend themselves to good decision making we make better decisions when we re at peace content with life much less apt to get suckered into the siren call of something better note that our culture doesn t help steeped in the promise of a life that s better than the the crappy one we re currently living if fomo is present in the process but the potential consequences are on par with buying a bad meal that s fine when the stakes are high however fomo s a red flag that might be pointing to a bad decision god second up is the idea that i m not interested in what god has to say convinced that this new trajectory is sound and bountiful i ve always found it difficult to consider that i might be wrong about something that i m passionate about if i feel so strongly how can it be anything less than holy us christians struggle here frequently deducing that these feelings can only come from a higher power years back when i was pastoring a small church plant a friend congregant told me that god had called him to preach i e through some miraculous line of communication god revealed that he should take the pulpit regularly anyone who didn t agree would be in his opinion standing in god s way from what i could tell there was no evidence of this but my friend s desire for the office was strong within his heart how could something that strong come from anywhere else but heaven it could have easily come from a vain desire for a position of leadership influence and honor something that i ve felt on too many occasions in christendom that happens more often than any actual calling from god especially in such a toxically male culture pastors and loved ones have to be careful in helping people discern these feelings well meaning christians can and frequently do get hurt when their friends suggest that such strong urges might be coming from somewhere else i m not suggesting that god doesn t speak or call he does make no mistake and he s interested in speaking into our smallest decisions add that he loves us without boundary condition or religious affiliation and we should all be asking for his advice with little to no fear of whether or not he s interested to him many times we are like children who can t decide whether or not we should get the blue lollipop or the green lollipop afraid of what happens if we choose wrongly like any good parent who just wants to connect he listens and shares his mind imagine how he responds when much bigger decisions are on the table i don t worry much about whether or not god will listen or engage or whether or not he cares my problem is with the mountain of emotions that get in the way frequently convincing me that i m right in no need of anyone s guidance especially god s if i have some aversion to letting him in on the decision that s another red flag friends last are the opinions of friends and family if god should be part of my decision making process so should the people that i respect and since god s not always clear and or boring it often helps to involve smart reasonable people who care but in our culture people often won t tell us if they disagree with a future bad decision even if it s a big one nobody wants to be negative or hurt our feelings so our friends oftentimes beat around the bush avoiding a clear i think that s a dumb idea sort of response they won t hesitate to give us a very clear unmistakable yes if they believe that we re about to make a good decision but if it s a bad one there are a million unclear ways to say no and some of those can sound like a yes especially when that s what we desperately want to hear i m now at a point where if i don t get the clear yes but instead get a beat around the bush type of answer i ll assume that my friend s aren t comfortable with decision i m about to make one more red flag if all the flags are present fomo god aversion and clarity avoidant friends it s safe to assume that i m on the verge of doing something dumb none of this means that i m going to stop making dumb decisions i ll still make them but these days i try to keep them in the small consequence green lollipop blue lollipop realm for example i ve always dreamed of having a huge army style tent where my entire family can camp comfortably and still have room for a nice kitchen table and a wood burning stove but a tent like that usually lists for 1 000 that s big decision money way too out of reach so i ve never pursued it recently however i found one for 250 and talked the seller down to 50 now i have a 200lb lump of canvas sitting in my garage waiting for me to take it into the woods to set it up if it will survive that i once made a similar small dumb decision with an old fiberglass canoe that i bought for 75 00 it had three large holes in it and the glass was stress damaged from stem to stern now you couldn t sink it if you tried wait for it https peacehacks com wp content uploads 2023 08 img_8497 1 mp4 if you re counting there s 9 people in that boat let the reader also note the sweet rustoleum paint job i have every confidence that the tent will find a similar glory it might also rip to shreds when we try to put it up for the first time or be destroyed in a stout springtime wind storm if that happens i ll be out 150 had to buy poles rope stakes etc because small decisions have small consequences and in my opinion don t require a ton of thought or a complicated process i do have a history of making some good decisions and those have one thing in common i took my time that s the biggest benefit of subjecting our big decisions to a long complicated process it forces us to accept the fact that few decisions have to be made on the spot and subjects our emotions to a test that is sure to get them out of the way if the decision doesn t have to be made on the spot if it can wait a few days or months or years so be it time cools time clarifies no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours mark twain posted on august 17 2023 september 24 2023 author lloydlandry leave a comment on on catching bad decisions before they happen climate change denial and majority scientific opinion should we make policy decisions create laws restrict freedoms tax the economy etc based on what a bunch of nerds have to say about something like say a global pandemic a better question is does modern science have a track record of leading us astray sure historical science was sketchy with its blood lettings flat earthiness and subservience to the catholic church but today s method is much more autonomous from religion emotion culture and all the other things that get in the way of discovery today when a very large group of nerds agree on the same alleged fact we should stop and take notice during covid for example epidemiologists from all over the globe prophesied that it would be a killer and when the government listened a bunch of us got mad until the death count grew to catastrophic proportions even then we turned instead to non experts who prescribed ivermectin et al crying conspiracy all the way to the feed store the other half of america didn t seem to have much problem with scientific opinion on this particular matter gladly accepting multiple injections of something we d never tried before as it turns out one side was right and one side wrong as is usually the case when a country is so divided this isn t the first time americans have sharply disagreed on how science should relate to politics it is however the first time that such a significant divergence in trust fell so sharply along political lines during the trump covid administration conservative trust in science fell to an all time low but maybe science isn t the problem conservatives tend to get nervous when the government takes such big steps with many believing that it causes more problems that it solves so when science and government par...