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Text of the page (random words):
019 hiding from the apocalypse you know what the world needs right now love simple and pure and with that comes tolerance and acceptance you don t have to understand them you don t have to agree with them but if you love them for no other reason than that they are a fellow human being with families lives and stories of their own you will just accept them as they are the whole world is in chaos at the moment you turn on the news and you see rioters and protestors everywhere in all corners of the world not just disgruntled people coming together to make their voice heard but wilful violence toward innocent bystanders toward public properties whilst they scream for their rights to be heard they batter those who voice disparate views whilst they fight for freedom that they claim they don t have they are freely roaming the streets creating fear chaos and economic turmoil everywhere in the place i call my second home i am sad in another corner of the world people are fighting others because they are of different colour different religion different race different beliefs but isn t that what the world is all about what makes everything works better because we are all different we are not an army of ai all identical without a single different or original thought why should we demand that others be the same think the same and act the same what causes such prejudice to blind our eyes and our hearts to fairness to love and to righteousness it is not an area that is grey it is not a matter that is controversial or arguable it is as simple as abc it is never right to kill another innocent to make yourself be heard it is never correct to harm someone because they are different or because they don t agree shouldn t it be the very basis of your logic of your character not even for greed which is an evil trait in itself but understandable because it forms the very basis of development and advancement but for self delusional greater good why can t they see that they are fighting for the right thing but in the wrong way it is scary because these young minds this generation of our future population our future leaders and our future hope is growing up with hatred in their heart and in their mind and believes with every fibre of their being that their actions are fully justified monkey see monkey do and others follow they create an era where violent protesting is acceptable disrupting the lives of others is totally fine because they are fighting for the greater good and for the future and sacrifices are unavoidable they lose all logic all human decency all moral compass and are deaf to all reasoning almost as if an invisible germ filled with hatred and anger has infected them all some may wonder what has little me been up to all this while why the silence why the hibernation little ms me has been burying her head under the blanket willing for the world to return to sanity waiting for the zombie hatred apocalypse to be over and in the blue moon chance that little ms me does go out she tries to change the hatred and anger in the world by a big sincere smile one person at a time at october 18 2019 1 comment email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday october 16 2018 the story of the eggs how should the story begin right in the midst of it would be best i think there i was with more plastic bags in the supermarket trolley than i can handle and my ride for the trip back home already at the door waiting it was then that i saw a solitary carton of eggs crying out meekly for my attention isolated from its other supermarket grocery mates that were already sitting snugly in the bags clearly this one has not been paid for perhaps it was hidden obscured from attention by other plastics in the trolley but there i was with both hands full and late do i go back to pay for it or do i just put it in the bag i felt like a hundred eyes were on me all staring and waiting to see what i would do when i finally snuck a peek the rest of the world was just going about their own things nary an idea of the turmoil inside me do i or don t i that is the question after a moment of indecisiveness i took the easier alternative and placed the carton inside the plastic bag along with the other items that have been paid for and made my way up the escalator the weight in my heart kept getting heavier and heavier as i went higher and higher at the top of the escalator i turned around and made my way down again it took me forever to come up with the decision to keep or not to keep but it took me a split second when i knew i had to do what was right i cannot imagine spending the rest of the day the rest of the night and even the rest of my life regretting this second unable to rewind and undo i wanted to be able to erase this from my memory and forget that it ever happened just like any other day in my daily life you may think that i am telling this story to boast about how pure and righteous i am on the contrary i am irked by many things my indecisiveness my hypocritical virtuousness and how i make my own life so difficult 27 years ago when i was still in university my boyfriend and i decided to splurge on some hot wings from a fast food chain which shall not be named in case they read this and decided to come after me 27 years later who knows the statute of limitations on these kind of things ok i m being paranoid as a student we were generally frugal and eating out is a luxury reserved for special days however we were working hard on our thesis and tired from the continuous work day in and day out being thrifty we ordered for 1 box of wings to share can you imagine the exhilaration and delight we felt when the man behind the counter gave us 2 boxes you would have thought that we struck first prize for the national lottery that day we snuck a peek at each other clamped our mouth shut and ran out of the door as quickly as possible whilst trying to look inconspicuous at the same time all the way home we kept looking back to see if the man had realised his mistake and came running after us the hot wings have never tasted better one box was not quite enough to share between us but now with one box each we ate to our hearts content it was the best feeling in the world a little delight plus a little guilt plus a lot of hot yummy chicken we figured the famous fast food chain could afford to lose a little in this one exceptional incident the exhilaration was much more than the guilt i have to confess to this day and age not many other incidents have brought us as much elation and excitement now presently i am not sure i will be able to do it again is it because i have grown older is it because i am now a mother of two is it because i can no longer preach one thing but do another with age comes not just wisdom but burden no more fun naughty memories to create only responsible calculated moves it was sure fun to be young at october 16 2018 2 comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest tuesday september 18 2018 you know do you feel wronged because you cannot explain your actions because your actions are misconstrued as being selfish because you are not the type to sing your own praises nor clarify your conducts or tirade about when things aren t fair because you just silently go about doing the things that you feel should be done and love in the way you know is right do you feel bad because it is your loved ones and they have never understood nor know you the real you and they never cared to you know that you can t blame them and you shouldn t blame them because they are getting older and you know that deep down you were never the most important but that s how life works sometimes and life goes on at september 18 2018 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest sanctuary for thoughts the only time i have nowadays to form a proper string of thoughts is in the car as a passenger of course when there is nothing to do no distraction but the windmills of my mind and so i begin the ingrained old habit of conversing in my head round like a circle in a spiral like a wheel within a wheel never ending or beginning on an ever spinning reel the moment i step in through the doors when i am once again behind my desk and the fingers flying freely around the keyboard instead of the tiny spaces in a handphone all thoughts dissipate into thin air all rumination die prematurely in its womb before conception a thousand things pull at me from all directions requiring no demanding my attention i am a machine without feeling or contemplation i am a vehicle of action there is something soothing about long rides pacifying greens flashing before my eyes and i look inwards into my soul instead of out at the view i remember wishing that car rides would last forever when i was much younger riding in the back seat with the comforting sound of my parents chatting in the front it felt like a protected sanctuary from the world a pause from the hustle and bustle of life nowadays my kids stuff their ears with their ear buds the moment they step into the car closing the world around them with the music of their choice or they doze off when their heads touch the seat they don t hear what the adults are discussing they are not interested to know perhaps they are also hiding from the world for a little while at september 18 2018 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday july 02 2018 something that was sometimes i do think of him not yearn for him sometimes his name plays on the tip of my tongue i have not heard it out loud for more than three decades now maybe it is the unfairness of it all that makes my mind travel on the long trip down memory lane how can someone hurt me so bad leave such sad memories and not look back never look back not even for a fleeting glance we didn t have much time together we probably met less than the fingers on both hands but the pureness of the feeling the sincerity which i now realise was purely just mine the strength of our conviction the innocence and then the lies the wait the anticipation and the disappointment how could someone scars another so bad and continue nonchalantly with their lives how unfair can this world be he did not even give me a chance to say anything in my defence he did not give me a chance to say goodbye for that and for leaving a scar that will always be there the devil in me wishes that he is living well and happily as a fat bald man and you realise you are more fond of the memories of a person that was than of the person that is you realise that none of those that you are holding close to your heart memories of the past or people in your stories exist in this world or in this dimension anymore that all and everything has vaporised into nihility and you are grasping onto nothing at july 02 2018 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday april 16 2018 hello haven t seen you around for a very long time i am once again reminded of how much i love the art of writing the expressing of emotion the penned description of images so rich that one can conjure up the vivid images in one s mind not too long ago i contacted an old blogger friend who wrote so beautifully that it inspired but who has since deleted his account i told him how i missed his writings but i think he must have thought it was him that i missed for who would love writing with such passion but i do i really do beautiful writings stir dormant feelings that have been buried under the many layers of tedious repetitive everyday life it brings flutter to the slumbering heart and awaken a zeal that was once tempered it inspires it dreams it stimulates writing records my stories witnesses my steps and empowers my mind without it my thoughts have been short and flitted everywhere like the beautiful butterfly darting here and there but never staying long enough in one place without it i have been lost and don t know what to think i want to start again but it is not easy to write i need to have some time of my very own some time to think some time to reflect some time to stop i have missed that part of me for a very long time we meet again today hello how have you been at april 16 2018 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest monday april 09 2018 l o v e it is a lofty proclamation to say that i will be loved greatly or not at all no half loves no faltering loves no one s bench warmer no one s substitute when i was much younger i chose to leave when i felt i was no longer someone s greatest love or when i realised i never was my mind was filled with fictional fairy tale loves it was all or nothing many many years down the road i can no longer say such arrogant words i can no longer choose how i am loved only how i love i can give 110 of myself and only shrug my shoulders steel my heart and move on when i receive cold words and colder indifference in the silence i look back and i realise that i have only one who loves me so devotedly throughout my entire span of 47 years everyone i know who knows me only one single person takes such great effort to love me and for that i am very very grateful that one such person does exist in my life that my happiness makes a difference for someone in this world for otherwise my life would have been so cold when i look back from my deathbed i would never know for what i have lived to say the word love is so easy to believe that you do is even easier being by someone s side every day is that love by doing what you would normally do anyway is that love i have since learnt that when say you love someone ask yourself what have you done for that person lately are you sorry you couldn t do more such is love to give of yourself without asking for anything more than their happiness i never had parents who thought the world of me family who treasured me people who thought the world of my mere existence if i were to drop dead tomorrow how many would shed a tear how many would still shed a tear 10 years down the road i don t want to know the answer for i fear that i will falter in my love i don t want to know the answer for it should not be the reason i love i love because i do at april 09 2018 no comments email this blogthis share to x share to facebook share to pinterest friday november 03 2017 life is tiring i m tired today i don t know why some people think that it is okay to be mean to be me to use words that hurt intentionally or unintentionally i think i try to hard and maybe that is suffocating to some or maybe they don t see that i am trying hard and they can t feel it so that is why they are lashing out sometimes i hurt and i want to give up to disregard or to just ignore but i can t i can t be cold just because they are cold to me i can t hurt just because i am hurt life is complicated and i m tired at november 03 2017 1 comment email 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