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description=An English girl learns to date American-style in LA;

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work with some cutting comment then literally a single second later with complete sincerity said sorry babe that was really bitchy can you forgive me it s this genuine sweetness that makes me think she deserves the guardian angel that most definitely rests on her shoulder take for instance this week in la in which she left her blackberry full of unrecoverable work contacts in the back of a random cab gone forever obviously but it wasn t not for chrissie we went back to the mall where she d picked up the cab and after chatting up the very nice security manager found ourselves in a windowless room in a parking lot fast forwarding through through two days of surveillance tape in the hope of identifying the cab company she d used it seemed hopeless chrissie s memory that the cab was maybe grey wasn t working well since there are no grey cabs in los angeles her description of the phone it s really big and grey was also problematic but weirdly at that moment a familiar looking cab pulled up on one of the live camera screens it was green and white but it jogged her memory a quick call was made to the on site concierge he leaned in the cab window and asked the driver if he d found a blackberry he had we ran to meet him and he said i ve been trying to find you of all the many thousands of cabs that service that mall in la a cab driver trying to find her to return her phone but that wasn t all when the time came for chrissie to go to the airport i happened to be working if you can call watching matt damon receive an award work i left her with a cab number and instructions that as she planned to pay her cab by credit card she should forewarn the driver so they couldn t pretend not to accept cards like they always do the next morning i awoke to many text messages it emerged that unable to use her credit card in the cab due to some international bank glitch she d spent over an hour trying to get her bank on the phone negotiating with the foreign exchange desk at lax and trying to give her dad s credit card details to the cab driver basically she made every effort to pay the man who kept the meter running up to 140 as she scrambled for cash did he accept her information and passport number in order to ensure she would send money no did he take her dad s credit card details no did he phone the police and get them to help sort it out no what he did was refuse to give her her luggage yes he left her at lax to board a flight alone to london and drove off with her suitcase he was however kind enough to give her his name cab number and cell phone i called him no response i called the cab company switchboard and spoke to a nice man called frank i will call the cops on your driver and will report your company for theft unless you resolve this right now ten minutes later the driver called me he was on his way with the suitcase i went to the atm chrissie was going to reimburse me and had urged you can just offer him more than the fare i really want my stuff back hell no i thought he ll be sorry and he won t get a cent more but just in case i called in the big guns for protection ok i called in paula and our friend aj as i walked out the door to meet the cab i told the dog look vicious she rolled her eyes the driver looked quite a lot like the pervert in the lovely bones and from the way he behaved it was clear he hadn t experienced much human contact he remained in the cab engine running the case was locked in the trunk here s the receipt it was 141 he said me i know she gave you 30 cash at the airport you can have 100 him it was 141 me it ll cost her 300 to ship her case back home because of you what you did was theft 100 and that s it him give me the cash me give me the case first him cash first me why would i hand over the cash without the case when you know where i live and you can just drive away him why would i give you the case without the cash paula i m calling the cops aj what s your problem man hand over the case him i m not popping the trunk until the money s in my hand me case him cash by now a small crowd had gathered eventually we came to an arrangement aj stood by the trunk and i handed over the cash but didn t let go until aj got hold of the suitcase handle later over a glass of champagne aj said he probably just wanted to keep her panties as compensation case closed you d think but no on the flight chrissie kindly switched seats with a woman who wanted to sit with her husband sadly she forgot her passport in the first seat pocket only realising this in the queue at immigration she called the airport security and persuaded the guy to return to the now closed plane he couldn t find the passport how does one enter a country without a passport do you remain in no man s land while they decide on your identity like that weird film where tom hanks lives at jfk not if you re chrissie if you re her you go up to the immigration desk tell them the whole story they laugh in your face say good luck with your life you clearly have issues and then they let you into the country with no form of id at breakfast the next morning paula said i wish i could be like that a person where good things just keep happening and nothing ever turns out bad it s like if you think nothing will be bad then it isn t exactly i said many bad things happen to chrissie but she keeps smiling and if you do that even if things don t turn out right it seems like they sort of did it s a choice you have to make that day not only did heathrow airport call chrissie to say they had her passport but a mutual friend traveling from london to la agreed to bring her stuff back to london free of charge i wasn t surprised chrissie called to thank me babe it was like a scene from csi she said we laughed for a good ten minutes after i hung up i resolved to find everything from dating to decision making a lot funnier comments 3 march 24 2010 11 une affaire to remember filed under uncategorized 40firstdates 7 39 am since i started this blog i ve been getting a lot more random attention from men it s like the magic that makes you more likely to get a new job when you already have one or simply like i said to my friend sophie men can just feel it when someone else wants you her eyes didn t waver from the ancient episode of sex and the city we were watching at three in the afternoon on a weekday yeah they can smell it she said so it s about pheromones and territory marking they want to piss all over you great but then when i think honestly about it i am 100 guilty of the same thing i get an disproportionate kick out of knowing i have someone other women or men want over the years i ve been variously berated for being looksist vain shallow short sighted the list goes on once i invited a boyfriend my family hadn t yet met to a friend s wedding afterwards my mum said we knew he was yours the second he walked in yeah my brother said he was the prettiest you re so predictable i was a bit pleased until a few hours later when my brother added he doesn t care about you i can tell by the look on his face anyway i digress my friend anthony in london always used to call me out on my attraction to men in high demand antonia he would say in a grave tone you do this because you are looking for validation due to your massive insecurities yes i know i would say but then i can t suddenly pretend to be a worthy person and make myself fancy boring unattractive people out of nowhere can i apparently not because here i am on a different continent some years later still being dysfunctional and still really enjoying it i recently introduced my best guy friend who is gay to a new paramour of mine as soon as the latter got up to go the the loo my friend turned to me smiling and said i just want to smash your face in see it s that kind of jealously that makes me squirm with pleasure this increased interest from men has definitely been a feature of the past few weeks from the guy who has suddenly appeared in my life in a fantastically illicit way to another work friend married late 40s who keeps pestering me to go out i asked paula of the latter what the hell can he possibly want some people are just delusional she said i m hoping she meant him but all my needing of an added frisson factor makes me wonder yet again what happens when you settle with one person how to maintain that wanted air into the future will you always need to flirt a little bit with the mail man or maybe let that crap guy at the office think he s in with a chance so your husband sees it at the christmas party and remembers ah yes my wife is a hot ticket and what about me will i still have the hots for a husband who never gets a second look from anyone else is this a normal thing to need actually don t answer that i remember realising at school that i did not have normal healthy expectations as i looked at the other girls who seemed really in love with their boyfriends while i was dreaming of indiana jones crossed with rob lowe it was the late 80s maybe it s because i m a gemini by all accounts flighty superficial in two minds about everything and then maybe i really am just shallow the thing is i don t worry about it anymore especially since sandra bullock sandra is someone i have always admired talented funny charming she has said she never thought she d get married and most winningly of all didn t seem all that bothered until one day aged 40 she walked into jesse james motorcycle shop and bam that was it love and marriage ahhhh women everywhere thought if it s meant to be it will be but it wasn t because he cheated on her when paula told me about sandra s misfortune we were walking with our friend marisa through a parking lot to a bar i stopped suddenly are you alright marisa asked no i said sandra was my guiding light so what to do now following much discussion with friends and a little influence from the film coco avant chanel the very fabulous audrey tautou smoking like a train having affaires and never marrying it has been decided that taking lovers is the way forward for me anyway no permanence no everyday no predictability a lover shall be enjoyed as if in a french movie as i told a recipient of this title recently there will be wine and conversation and nudity and that s about it after all how can that possibly disappoint comments 1 february 24 2010 10 a bike made for one filed under uncategorized 40firstdates 2 14 am during a shall we say compromising moment with a friend recently sorry mum dad grandma he suddenly asked is this going to be in the blog see it s a problem writing about dating this blog s very nature is personal what with the whole auditioning people for sex thing see post 1 in fact i ve been struggling with this subject for weeks what can i write about now one can only go so far discussing first online dates i mean it s kind of a one note wonder going something like this there s been something wrong with all of them job done nuff said case closed admittedly the different varieties of mentalist available online have amused me so far there s been sad guy geek guy psycho guy hideous guy straight up stupid guy whore guy bigot guy sweet but dull guy but now i m bored are we there yet and then there s my secret other life the real one where i go out with people because i like spending time with them or they re hot or funny and sometimes all of the above the life i can t write about because although lauren conrad has made a fortune a clothing line and a three bloody awful book deal out of exposing the intimate details of her life in an ed tv sort of way only with a crappier script i don t wish to join her i also don t have that kind of swishy blonde hair that looks good on tv so what to do as a girlfriend told me you need to find a way to sometimes just write about normal people maybe tell them about the blog for full disclosure and incorporate their reaction into the post this seemed scary and a mile away from my love of secrecy so far i d been incognito a journalist under deep cover every time i entered a bar or restaurant to meet an online date i felt like shouting i m going in or to quote the doomed captain oates i may be some time but before i orchestrate a date with a mutual friend and then advance warn him that everything he says will be subject to publication so looking forward to that i had another match com date harry was a 35 year old film maker we met at a very cool little bar in echo park but then he let me buy my own drink i know i know i m a modern woman but he invited me plus i went to his neighborhood he was also a teeny bit sniffy that i was late i was stuck behind an accident on sunset then got waylaid trying to catch a stray dog i know i wouldn t have believed me either he said it was alright but it wasn t he was definitely sniffy if i wanted passive aggressive i d be dating my college room mate after ten minutes he said god you re such a great conversationalist i d said about three words oh i love other people s stories that s all i said and he was off again he also had this air of uncertainty or sadness or something after two beers he d mentioned his father eight times including how his dad was disappointed in him i opened my mouth to try and make this better for him somehow but then shut it again having realised beyond the delusional age of 22 that nice words don t help that stuff much then there was the multi mention of his best friend who also happened to be a beautiful amazing girl who was about to marry a total dickhead we swapped match com from hell stories his involved a last minute phonecall from the woman asking if he d bring his vacuum cleaner over she then cleaned the entire house in sweatpants before inviting him to retire with her to the bedroom where she flicked on csi and told him about her crystal meth addiction no kidding obsessive clean much you want another drink i asked ok but only if you ll go out with me again i made some vague affirmative noise all the while plotting the honest e mail i would send if he asked again he was a good hearted guy a smart guy but i didn t feel even a flicker of attraction he walked me to my car and then he asked again let s talk later in the week i said my e mail two days later said i had a great time but i m looking for chemistry even if that sounds unrealistic i m holding out and i didn t think we really had that going on three days passed and he responded totally understood but i enjoyed hanging out with you maybe we can be friends in my limited experience of this official dates business when the guy asks to be friends after you ve given him the soft brush off what he means is let s go for a huge amount of drinks after which i will lunge at you in the hope of winning you over sure enough harry did ask me to go to a concert with him soon after romantic classical i was busy then just as i was hoping i hadn t hurt his feelings because he didn t deserve that he sent me something truly genius dear antonia after our conversation about worst match co...