Meta tags:
description=Not Perfect, Are you?;

Headings (most frequently used words):

my, you, it, in, the, just, not, of, your, posts, when, lost, to, for, what, purpose, some, days, are, tougher, than, others, re, progress, perfection, am, sure, happened, but, ve, way, pagination, time, remember, broken, and, frustrated, yet, grateful, won, be, bullied, or, shamed, anymore, our, daughter, married, her, prince, middle, covid, keeps, getting, better, week, from, hell, hardest, month, life, constant, vicious, cycle, head, that, never, stops, could, stop, one, day, is, cycles, an, unwelcome, reminder, crossing, paths, does, end, if, growing, dying, conference, review, own, future, truth, have, found, sometimes, need, hard, dose, reality, help, realize, destiny, has, store, rich, people, problems,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
and (417), the (354), that (225), was (205), have (155), for (137), you (127), this (115), but (105), not (88), with (86), all (77), she (71), her (71), had (70), what (59), are (56), your (54), just (54), will (54), like (53), know (50), when (49), life (47), been (47), who (46), don (46), about (43), #people (43), they (43), out (43), can (42), from (41), never (40), 2020 (40), family (39), how (37), get (35), time (35), would (35), day (33), one (32), some (31), there (31), because (30), has (30), mom (29), things (29), feel (28), most (28), always (28), them (27), very (26), year (26), posted (25), love (24), myself (24), going (23), much (23), more (23), being (23), loading (22), were (22), back (22), even (22), our (22), than (21), many (21), then (21), through (21), work (20), job (20), years (20), now (19), could (19), hard (19), father (19), say (19), those (18), everything (18), said (18), here (18), after (17), made (17), person (17), today (17), started (16), end (16), every (16), best (16), way (16), loss (15), over (15), into (15), same (15), where (15), care (15), his (15), help (15), make (15), didn (15), something (15), lost (14), did (14), got (14), good (14), felt (14), which (14), left (14), health (13), loved (13), see (13), etc (13), before (13), take (13), feeling (13), its (13), these (13), friend (13), lot (13), him (13), went (13), tell (13), thankful (13), home (12), also (12), needed (12), want (12), week (12), thought (12), their (12), only (12), really (12), sometimes (12), rachel (12), heart (12), god (12), months (12), conference (12), two (12), month (12), future (11), emp (11), husband (11), well (11), night (11), right (11), last (11), own (11), let (11), think (11), course (11), any (11), studio (11), began (11), first (11), again (11), church (11), try (11), still (11), stop (11), women (10), brother (10), next (10), may (10), blessed (10), body (10), thoughts (10), happy (10), point (10), down (10), another (10), days (10), part (10), long (10), thru (10), called (10), passed (10), fear (10), self (9), purpose (9), perfect (9), having (9), knew (9), working (9), tonight (9), pain (9), came (9), stress (9), dance (9), mother (9), does (9), completely (9), died (9), too (9), amazing (9), different (9), past (9), read (9), face (9), march (9), other (8), parents (8), problems (8), rich (8), look (8), stand (8), finally (8), anymore (8), better (8), control (8), need (8), november (8), hollis (8), someone (8), friends (8), both (8), sure (8), took (8), yet (8), new (8), journey (8), became (8), listening (8), told (8), each (8), mean (8), sarah (8), january (8), while (8), live (8), forward (8), experience (8), enough (8), away (8), brothers (7), sorry (7), bad (7), won (7), meant (7), thinking (7), off (7), helped (7), else (7), tears (7), little (7), issues (7), thing (7), everyone (7), age (7), few (7), call (7), until (7), worse (7), illness (7), why (7), beautiful (7), school (7), step (7), owning (7), ago (7), anxiety (7), such (7), check (7), progress (6), perfection (6), strong (6), wife (6), worth (6), page (6), start (6), car (6), changing (6), ones (6), should (6), put (6), place (6), thank (6), extremely (6), hurt (6), since (6), yes (6), focus (6), found (6), come (6), moved (6), yourself (6), longer (6), head (6), grateful (6), goal (6), students (6), comes (6), college (6), keep (6), ever (6), second (6), wonderful (6), during (6), remember (6), soon (6), peace (6), though (6), spent (6), decisions (6), looking (6), close (6), wrote (6), big (6), getting (6), dealing (6), blog (6), easter (6), colon (6), sisters (5), faith (5), goals (5), hope (5), world (5), horrible (5), house (5), far (5), together (5), hear (5), give (5), wish (5), feelings (5), basically (5), exactly (5), reality (5), although (5), storage (5), emotions (5), waste (5), nothing (5), chance (5), covid (5), worked (5), able (5), chapter (5), prompts (5), decided (5), taking (5), choice (5), middle (5), married (5), doing (5), kids (5), times (5), asked (5), high (5), memories (5), alone (5), whole (5), choices (5), along (5), truth (5), topic (5), suffered (5), woman (5), voice (5), sister (5), tired (5), sad (5), happened (5), positive (5), kasey (5), worker (5), anyone (5), daughter (5), believe (5), september (5), appointment (5), name (4), already (4), growth (4), knows (4), problem (4), matter (4), productive (4), doesn (4), dying (4), wasn (4), hands (4), realized (4), full (4), ending (4), almost (4), therapist (4), october (4), complete (4), eyes (4), joy (4), pretty (4), seem (4), realize (4), value (4), cannot (4), bit (4), wrong (4), forget (4), taken (4), trying (4), makes (4), honestly (4), anything (4), manager (4), eventually (4), experienced (4), later (4), young (4), beginning (4), without (4), sunday (4), child (4), children (4), living (4), plan (4), met (4), christmas (4), path (4), however (4), listen (4), gave (4), present (4), turned (4), growing (4), understand (4), books (4), post (4), promise (4), couple (4), weeks (4), amount (4), money (4), workers (4), old (4), ourselves (4), list (4), telling (4), sleep (4), spending (4), wanted (4), continue (4), important (4), woke (4), unit (4), february (4), miss (4), haven (4), proud (4), change (4), mind (4), break (4), used (4), words (4), tribe (4), desire (4), done (4), belongings (4), thanksgiving (4), book (4), couldn (4), diverticulosis (4), flare (4), faced (4), wordpress (3), com (3), write (3), manage (3), subscribe (3), daughters (3), struggle (3), friendship (3), goodbye (3), posts (3), complain (3), remind (3), blessing (3), option (3), loves (3), less (3), meaning (3), population (3), owns (3), depression (3), short (3), especially (3), overwhelmed (3), saw (3), perspective (3), letting (3), loud (3), hopefully (3), worthy (3), awesome (3), hell (3), deep (3), road (3), business (3), true (3), apologize (3), deeply (3), goes (3), healing (3), unrealistic (3), form (3), bonds (3), cares (3), team (3), minute (3), veterinary (3), privilege (3), grow (3), earth (3), holds (3), angels (3), watching (3), open (3), hospital (3), therapy (3), direction (3), happen (3), meanwhile (3), biggest (3), drink (3), details (3), 2008 (3), phone (3), sober (3), disease (3), late (3), glad (3), relationships (3), lives (3), process (3), mike (3), dad (3), admit (3), might (3), lonely (3), emotional (3), eating (3), neighbor (3), moving (3), leaving (3), due (3), consider (3), birth (3), childhood (3), between (3), story (3), members (3), career (3), reach (3), actually (3), making (3), standing (3), question (3), grown (3), rise (3), bond (3), tomorrow (3), ups (3), learning (3), possible (3), please (3), water (3), support (3), struggles (3), inner (3), pam (3), minutes (3), thin (3), fears (3), circled (3), talk (3), half (3), paper (3), exact (3), hurts (3), opinion (3), normally (3), anytime (3), least (3), hours (3), 100 (3), morning (3), freaking (3), healthy (3), happening (3), pictures (3), yesterday (3), guess (3), deserve (3), events (3), involved (3), effect (3), others (3), caused (3), paths (3), receptionist (3), lots (3), death (3), pray (3), text (3), losing (3), staff (3), reminder (3), constant (3), across (3), answer (3), december (3), whatever (3), army (3), mess (3), decision (3), blogs (3), gentle (3), loyalty (3), test (3), hrs (3), daddy (3), nephew (3), 2019 (3), service (3), surgeon (3), answers (3), condition (3), diverticulitis (3), blah (3), site (2), website (2), comments (2), report (2), content (2), log (2), sign (2), subscribed (2), privacy (2), account (2), join (2), built (2), dysfunctional (2), resentment (2), recovery (2), helps (2), daily (2), none (2), moment (2), plenty (2), reminded (2), negative (2), jobs (2), porch (2), negativity (2), covered (2), dead (2), paid (2), garage (2), saying (2), silly (2), drowning (2), criticizing (2), tremendously (2), ladies (2), appreciate (2), fake (2), imagine (2), guys (2), talked (2), judged (2), screw (2), managed (2), usually (2), worry (2), speak (2), mirror (2), learn (2), clear (2), cried (2), shit (2), grace (2), regret (2), heard (2), showed (2), hole (2), lead (2), level (2), deal (2), rest (2), stuff (2), finished (2), store (2), opinions (2), closing (2), main (2), shown (2), expectations (2), accept (2), fact (2), sense (2), feels (2), strongly (2), sue (2), passion (2), animals (2), 2015 (2), once (2), turn (2), gift (2), grew (2), soul (2), figure (2), several (2), excited (2), opportunity (2), vote (2), dream (2), real (2), michael (2), fell (2), ewing (2), received (2), cancer (2), forgave (2), girl (2), conversations (2), gone (2), blessings (2), visit (2), wrenching (2), twice (2), devoted (2), ugly (2), hesitation (2), absolutely (2), increasingly (2), battling (2), offered (2), barron (2), rehab (2), encouragement (2), deaths (2), gainesville (2), lived (2), followed (2), trip (2), warning (2), front (2), drinking (2), attempted (2), charlotte (2), teacher (2), expected (2), single (2), elementary (2), unhappy (2), born (2), eve (2), dallas (2), girls (2), jump (2), aka (2), parent (2), dedicated (2), options (2), motto (2), sweet (2), says (2), bed (2), opportunities (2), idea (2), difference (2), towards (2), boss (2), stay (2), recent (2), mistakes (2), wait (2), podcasts (2), speakers (2), constantly (2), evolving (2), supposed (2), stronger (2), stupid (2), message (2), celebrate (2), exercise (2), usual (2), lol (2), disgusting (2), share (2), obviously (2), entire (2), smart (2), topics (2), divorce (2), experiences (2), hate (2), room (2), stood (2), move (2), written (2), gonna (2), hubby (2), encouraged (2), studying (2), quiz (2), mentioned (2), means (2), whose (2), dreams (2), decide (2), onto (2), memory (2), reason (2), side (2), wouldn (2), brat (2), mistake (2), tho (2), stressful (2), ruff (2), plane (2), crash (2), recovered (2), tougher (2), pass (2), storm (2), set (2), employment (2), watershed (2), pace (2), buying (2), instead (2), quickly (2), highly (2), takes (2), held (2), supportive (2), selfish (2), prayers (2), anyway (2), sending (2), unexpectedly (2), tragically (2), suddenly (2), cycle (2), adulthood (2), cycles (2), july (2), finish (2), stops (2), kept (2), man (2), lack (2), area (2), guide (2), fierce (2), show (2), actions (2), salvation (2), pick (2), given (2), boxes (2), find (2), pull (2), maybe (2), quite (2), hardest (2), throughout (2), wounds (2), areas (2), reading (2), keeps (2), protect (2), weird (2), birthday (2), celebrating (2), totally (2), tragedy (2), small (2), known (2), straight (2), absorbed (2), severe (2), blogging (2), therapeutic (2), suffering (2), spend (2), send (2), nursing (2), strength (2), worrying (2), breathe (2), thankfully (2), sounded (2), around (2), frustrated (2), angry (2), depressed (2), improve (2), suffer (2), scared (2), april (2), 2021 (2), happier (2), blank (2), attack (2), attacks (2), surgery (2), miracle (2), definitely (2), hug (2), design, email, comment, collapse, bar, subscriptions, view, reader, subscribers, pagination, whine, practice, gratitude, allotted, indeed, everyday, sitting, traffic, anywhere, disagreement, ashamed, looked, leaves, plants, bare, ungrateful, acting, payment, below, houses, sink, cured, reboot, desperately, statement, facts, yard, trouble, trusted, immediately, accuse, unspeakable, cause, count, low, fault, mine, filling, applications, disrespectful, swollen, piece, sort, forgiveness, kindness, enter, karma, awful, universe, cosmic, event, accusations, fixed, aren, case, ass, afterwards, apologized, expectation, forgiven, dangerous, travel, dig, loathing, elses, dose, destiny, unworthy, thats, figured, peoples, flawed, approval, prove, defend, lesson, naive, learned, struggling, agreement, personally, facing, expecting, accepted, hoping, hen, cuddle, puppy, warms, experiencing, drew, field, director, teach, confide, sexually, assault, suspected, anorexia, beaten, average, watched, fed, moon, issue, bank, 732136, 016591, entering, 3rd, guardian, above, sends, dogs, led, pursue, rescue, giving, reflection, capacity, run, resign, succumbed, cirrhosis, liver, spare, gory, literally, awakening, horrific, moths, newbie, beat, begging, witnessed, gained, inviting, busy, ignoring, engaged, senses, goodness, escape, ability, brings, toddlers, adults, decline, sucked, slow, demons, loving, following, footsteps, fledged, alcoholic, numerous, murphy, alcoholics, convinced, gods, refused, magically, ultimatum, remainder, pattern, canada, hey, truck, fathers, sophomore, forgive, fast, 1973, wolf, winder, transferred, surprising, three, remembered, affection, authoritative, demanding, perfectionist, drank, sloshed, 1970, virginia, james, texas, older, divorced, toddler, boys, stories, ginger, refer, feces, dehydrated, male, county, custody, female, wondered, leave, hasn, sunshine, daisy, twists, obstacles, final, choose, gives, chosen, tabitha, bracelet, wear, nervous, yrs, lie, ahead, interesting, notice, employer, type, successful, conversation, hearing, confidence, focusing, divided, weren, become, evolved, address, network, followers, group, thousands, building, knowledge, wisdom, privileged, myers, florida, ordinary, millions, men, downs, peaks, valleys, starts, phase, vision, strive, qualities, pressure, unreachable, podcast, husbands, trent, shelton, survive, toughest, ownyourfuture, regrets, newfound, spreading, younger, system, cup, runneth, nutrition, tips, obtain, refers, whether, member, hike, nasty, drift, reveal, leaped, chest, stranger, agreed, vomited, fat, disgrace, wonder, painful, runner, attire, presence, crying, revealed, claims, image, shock, athletic, shape, parameters, memorable, 4000, workbook, rape, toxic, suicide, folded, opened, item, singled, mass, listed, heartbreaking, wording, lines, silence, deafening, flowing, eye, opening, freeing, energetic, workouts, implores, bodies, weight, ounces, treat, temple, explain, steps, strategies, easy, relate, plead, biography, google, massive, guilty, discussed, invest, leap, investment, review, plans, must, paying, finding, rooting, supporting, wanting, hits, ignore, empty, nester, dinner, evenings, amsterdam, law, order, svu, criminal, minds, extreme, pride, obnoxious, early, stayed, studied, maked, cooked, meals, class, attempts, obstacle, overcome, matters, priorities, debt, free, marks, ideals, becoming, bibles, dishes, clothes, picture, wearing, 87000, sets, scissors, ignored, excuse, hang, exist, fooled, pity, party, throwing, michaels, printer, credit, card, number, gotten, cleared, definite, series, concerned, poured, proctored, exam, presented, themselves, truly, snowball, exploded, particular, tidal, wave, inevitable, recently, raw, slammed, smack, https, pbtzu9, courageous, marie, lastly, fall, fail, runs, rain, kind, cross, created, fork, agonize, til, agony, heaviest, load, fly, crow, flies, country, mile, indigo, holl, great, passing, beating, dang, accepting, afford, impress, food, toys, easier, parenting, abusing, track, vet, sadly, friday, ways, critical, herself, thinks, lets, similarities, roles, relationship, talks, shared, laughs, receptionists, amazingly, crossed, parker, crossing, families, upcoming, comfort, shouldn, effected, sent, mention, acknowledge, empathy, devastation, sibling, fathom, news, unexpected, reaction, reassured, handled, unwelcome, famous, glenda, power, dear, magic, grande, scheme, desires, preschool, adolescence, conception, development, continuation, defeated, quitter, cooking, pushing, recognition, praise, acknowledgement, sacrificing, lose, sight, enjoying, vicious, complaining, whining, somehow, marrying, glorious, sadness, inadequate, displayed, moodiness, appetite, meltdown, separate, hold, mixed, uneffective, profession, gratifying, surrounded, respect, utterly, helpless, failure, loyal, defender, procedures, fine, kinds, regarding, shame, confusion, happens, mostly, scheduling, weekend, disappointed, accomplished, mark, advisor, confidante, supporter, nonetheless, donated, fulfil, responsibility, spat, guilt, closer, anxious, tasked, donating, cleaning, ripped, journals, folder, outside, scriptures, ached, brief, mad, sentences, chaos, begin, sucks, principal, optimistic, doors, understatement, specifics, mama, bear, difficult, outcome, holidays, 50th, huge, milestone, juju, gaurdian, session, newest, coming, centered, kidding, connected, tuff, aha, midst, scars, survived, funk, medical, checking, parts, checked, odds, planned, pandemics, isolation, mandated, masks, closings, continues, wedding, smile, success, jon, mate, adores, vice, versa, prince, bottom, reminding, persuade, intentions, characteristics, earlier, shoot, effects, harder, spot, faces, private, approved, posting, personal, facebook, emails, follow, damn, delete, social, media, journal, saddened, diagnoses, eat, bottled, unhealthy, diary, blogged, isn, missing, considered, die, touching, accidentally, copy, conceited, promptly, responded, thanked, input, thousand, betrayed, bullied, shamed, meaningful, foot, wake, odd, pandemic, sincerity, funeral, funerals, diagnosis, acquaintances, confident, needing, calm, steady, insight, rant, devotion, quiet, shy, trained, soldiers, airplanes, leader, leads, special, humans, focused, total, energy, precious, wasting, insult, fighting, seconds, dripping, snot, symptoms, sinus, crap, exposed, tested, safe, rapid, 2pm, gets, insurance, info, copies, patient, box, online, application, upset, polite, nurse, numbers, places, braselton, urgent, emailed, response, shot, accommodating, thrilled, lungs, nice, bronchitis, fever, symptom, stuffy, sinusitis, covid19, results, confession, wasted, consumed, forced, bubble, starting, remembering, fellowship, imperfectness, hopeful, sermons, click, bible, notes, surprise, reached, smacked, invitation, somewhere, preoccupied, forgot, jesus, priority, 2017, attend, stepbrother, withdrawn, visitors, except, ask, joined, heaven, reunited, shattered, shell, favorite, holiday, reminiscing, raised, scoffed, lung, brain, methodist, treated, welcomed, congregation, laid, retain, tradition, hill, baptized, reflecting, inward, remove, hit, ton, rocks, dedication, fellow, coworkers, empathize, fulfillment, thus, unable, gastroenterologist, tells, genes, thanks, doc, gut, knowing, causing, frustrating, felling, itself, portion, bursting, hopeless, tolerates, intolerable, saint, broken, offer, shall, rainbow, works, culprit, ensure, inflicted, efficient, liked, opposite, result, standards, meet, nudges, ready, nudge, situation, demands, chose, becomes, occur, infection, landing, meds, antibiotics, solution, colostomy, bag, continuing, removed, feet, blockage, forming, exhausting, act, guessing, driving, insane, grief, boy, span, spun, occasion, prayer, stands, writing, wow, walk, lane, changed, flourished, menu, skip,

Text of the page (random words):
every storm eventually runs out of rain if you fall down go again and if you fail try again lastly drink your stupid water i love you and will miss you tremendously but am so proud of you for being courageous enough to make a change that will help you grow call me anytime always here for you marie like loading posted on march 5 2020 march 5 2020 some days are just tougher than others https wp me pbtzu9 2f like loading posted on march 5 2020 march 5 2020 some days are just tougher than others this has been a ruff month i hate february i lost two family members in a plane crash during this month and my life has never been the same the tidal wave of events that followed for the years to come were inevitable my family has never been the same my mom never recovered and has recently passed 4 months ago the pain and loss my family has suffered is still very raw and real things go good for a while then just like tonight it all just came and slammed me smack in the face nothing horrible is going on in my life i really have no right to complain i am very blessed and i do truly know that it s just been a snowball effect that has just exploded on this particular night work has been stressful decisions dealing with my career presented themselves to me and that has been stressful my first proctored exam is tomorrow and i have been completely freaking out over that a series of events dealing with the studio has really concerned me even tho i am no longer involved with the studio it s something i poured my heart into for almost 30 years so of course i still care i had to go to mom s storage unit this week to give them my credit card number since i still haven t gotten it completely cleared out and i went to go see how much i had to clear out that was a definite mistake and then the worse thing possible happened tonight my printer wouldn t work talk about a brat that s exactly what i was and i could hear sarah telling me what i brat i was being and i just lost it i miss her so much i could talk to her about anything she was always there no matter what and i can tell you for sure she was always on my side but even more on michaels i am just feeling sorry for myself i guess so don t be fooled by my pity party i m throwing tonight i am more blessed than i deserve i just really miss my best friend right now and that s ok i m sure this won t be the last time if you still have your parents with you on this earth make sure you tell them every chance you get how much they mean to you you never know when that will be taken away from you emp like loading posted on february 29 2020 february 29 2020 when does it end today i went back to my mom s storage unit i had ignored it for months but now there was no excuse its time i have to go thru everything and decide does it stay does it go does this thing mean enough to hang onto or is it just a thing with no meaning does that even exist everything has a meaning a memory a reason yes i left there feeling like she just died yesterday i found pictures bibles her christmas dishes clothes i could picture her wearing 87000 sets of scissors it was hard but i had to go again and every week i m going to try and do a little more and i will be sad for a bit but i will go again short and sweet post just letting ya ll know where i am right now emp like loading posted on february 1 2020 march 24 2020 if you re not growing you re dying today marks the start of the second month of the new year 2020 where all the new things are changing not only changing but happening new goals new ideals and new dreams dreams that are now becoming reality debt free check healthy eating check started college check priorities me family job check check check that was a big one getting everything in perspective has been a big obstacle to overcome but with help from my therapist have i mentioned how important that is and my family which in decisions such as these only means my husband and my kids they are my family unit they are the only ones whose vote matters so tonight i made a 100 on a quiz not a big deal to most people but ya ll i m 49 i have been out of school for 30 years this is my second quiz in this class i have two attempts i thought i will just do it tonight and try again in the morning when i m not so tired and i freaking made a 100 the feeling i felt was just such extreme pride most people think that is obnoxious but i worked hard this week i woke up early and i stayed up late i studied at least 3 hours a day and went to work i came home from work and maked home cooked meals 3 times this week and i was a good wife you can do it all now truth be told i don t have little kids i am a empty nester and its just me and the hubby but dinner and time together in the evenings is important to me we made time for new amsterdam law and order svu and criminal minds lol but in between i was studying i must say this this day was much needed to feel like all this work was paying off i have felt a little lost today finding out that people who you thought were your people are not your people or who are not on your team you know rooting you on supporting you wanting the best for you it s hard to face that reality but when it hits you in the face you have two choices you can continue to ignore it or you can admit it is what it is everyone is not on your team everyone does not want the best for you and you know what that s ok because that has nothing to do with you or me but it has everything to do with them all i can do is just keep growing because if you re not growing you re dying and i have no plans for that anytime soon but when it comes at least i know i was trying to live my best life emp like loading posted on january 27 2020 january 28 2020 the conference review a couple of weeks ago i spent a massive amount of money for me i felt guilty about spending this much money on me i discussed it with my therapist and friends family hubby of course who all encouraged me to invest in myself and i took the leap and went i had no hesitation on going i wanted to go for as long as i knew about this conference but spending money on myself is not something i would normally do i can honestly say this was the best investment i have ever made if you don t know who rachel hollis is i plead for you to look her up she has written books has a couple of podcasts along with her husband as well as this conference its called the rise conference and its life changing in my opinion of course i am not gonna go into a biography of rachel hollis because you can google her and learn all about her and what she is about what i want to tell you about is my experience each day was full of energetic workouts rachel implores us to move our bodies 30 minutes a day drink half your body weight in water in ounces a day get enough sleep and treat your body like a temple her books explain the steps and strategies that worked for her she is so easy to relate to it s like listening to an old friend the first day is called owning your past the most memorable part of the day was called stand up for your sister there were 4000 women at this conference and we all became sisters we had a list of topics in our workbook that each woman went thru and circled if we have experienced any of these topics rape divorce loss of a parent loss of a child anxiety toxic self talk attempted suicide etc after we had finished with our list we folded it in half and passed it to our neighbor they passed it to their neighbor then to the person in front of them and so on and so on until no one knew where their paper was anymore then we opened up the paper to read what our sister had circled then rachel started to call out the experiences on the list and with each item called out we were to stand up if that was circled on the paper we had in our hands this way our sister didn t have to be singled out that she had experienced this but we were standing up for them to see the mass amount of women who would stand for each experience listed showed that no one was alone the most heartbreaking part of this exercise when was she called out the topic i can t remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of i hate my body 98 of the women in that room stood up the silence was deafening and the tears were flowing it was an eye opening experience and so freeing to know that we are not alone and we all have the same fears feelings hurts and thoughts the next day was called owning your present health nutrition and exercise was a focus of that day not the usual tips of how to obtain it but focus on what holds us back she had speakers to tell us about their struggles but also she talked to us about that inner voice we all have rachel refers to her voice as pam lol we all have that voice whether it be an old friend from high school or a family member etc well we all told pam to take a hike that day we each wrote down all the things we say to ourselves when we look in the mirror all the nasty comments we tell ourselves when we don t even realize it like you re disgusting your not worthy of being loved etc you get the drift then with no warning rachel told us to stand up and we were to reveal those thoughts out loud to another person that we did not know my heart leaped out of my chest i turned to the stranger next to me and we agreed to be in this together i do not know the name of the beautiful sister i was to share these thoughts with we had no time when she said go i just went first i vomited all those thoughts i always tell myself your ugly disgusting fat a disgrace no one will love you how can your husband look at you no wonder your own mother left you etc etc it was painful the whole time this beautiful sister obviously a runner by her attire and her presence was crying the entire time i did not know until a few minutes later when she revealed her list of claims of body image that she was thinking the same thoughts as she said them out loud to me i was in shock how could this beautiful thin athletic in shape woman have the same fears as me because we all have a pam that voice telling us we are not thin enough we are not good enough smart enough etc she was beautiful and thin so in my eyes she was perfect in her eyes she had the same fears as me she wasn t enough no matter what the parameters we are so hard on ourselves until we love ourselves where we are at we cannot grow that is rachel hollis message do what you can where you re at with what you got god i love this woman so it s been a couple of weeks and i have no regrets for the amount of money i spent i have a newfound love for my body exactly where its at i m working on making it stronger and i m drinking the stupid water as she says i m spreading her message to my younger co workers we are all sisters and we need to celebrate each other i m back in college after 30 years and its hard as f ck but i have this amazing support system from all my sisters from the conference my cup runneth over rachel hollis will never see this post and that s ok i just want all of you who do please look her up please listen to her podcast and her husbands and trent shelton as well they have helped me survive some of the toughest years of my life through loss of 4 family members i promise you it will not be a waste of time ownyourfuture like loading posted on january 7 2020 january 7 2020 own your future 2020 it s supposed to be a year with perfect vision or to try to get as close to that as possible progress not perfection is my goal perfection is not what i strive for any more because i am so many things perfect will never be one of those qualities and i am so glad i don t feel the pressure to try and reach that unreachable goal anymore since 2015 i have been on a journey that is constantly changing and evolving there have been ups and downs and peaks and valleys but it has always been evolving and a learning process tomorrow starts another phase of this journey tomorrow i head to ft myers florida and i am going to a women s conference this is no ordinary conference this is rachel hollis rise conference if you don t know who that is or what it s all about then this will not mean much to you but for the millions of women and men who have read her books or listen to her and her husband s podcasts or any of the speakers she will have at this conference then you will understand how life changing this could be there is a network of rise followers that are the most amazing group of people i feel like i already have thousands of friends that i ve never met before that i already have a bond with and i can t wait to be in the same building with them to experience the knowledge and wisdom we are going to be privileged to hear the conference is divided up into 3 days the first day is about owning your past that s going to be a hard one for me for those who know my story i have suffered a lot of loss over the past few years with the most recent being the loss of my mother sarah as well as some bad decisions that i have made over the years i don t call these bad decisions mistakes because they weren t mistakes these decisions have helped me become the woman i am today i have suffered due to these choices but i have also grown and evolved there are still some things i need to address and work thru so i am really looking forward to the opportunity to do that the second day is about owning your present this one is going to be an interesting topic as well some people may not know this but i actually turned in my notice at my present job about 5 months ago i love my employer and my work family but i did not feel like i was making a difference i am the type person who cannot feel like i m standing still i always feel like i have to be working towards a goal to keep growing and moving forward i didn t feel successful or even like i was doing a good job i began to question if this was the right career for me after i had a conversation with my boss i decided to stay after hearing her confidence in me i think focusing on my present will help me understand why i felt the way i did and why i sometimes still feel that way the last day is about owning your future which is my motto for this year my sweet friend tabitha gave me a bracelet that says this motto and i wear it every day and even to bed at night so i can always see it i want to own my future i want to own my path and reach my goals even though i am not exactly sure what they are any more i get home from the conference on sunday and i began college again the very next day this is part of me owning my future i am nervous of course its been 30 yrs since i ve been in college but i am so excited with the opportunities that lie ahead even though i have no idea what they may be i have something now that i never had before i have faith and that to me is the first step of me owning my future e like loading posted on january 3 2020 january 3 2020 my truth my life hasn t been all sunshine and daisy s but i know many who have had it muc...