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Text of the page (random words):
re nobody can see and so i will cry q4 of nursing school started out as merry as can be besides the fact that i wasn t feeling ready for a new schedule teachers requirements growth in the clinical classroom setting spring break was good and all but i was not rejuvenated in any shape of the word but we started out good all was well and then a fellow nursing student in the program committed suicide and everybody in the program has had their world turned upside town we are a tight knit community in our program and though i did not know her most everybody who i do know knew her and i have been reflecting on life ever since life is precious at the end of the day no matter the day the thing i think about before i go to sleep are my children why was i so impatient why did i yell why am i not learning how to be more patient oliver is just getting so big and i love him so much eliza oh eliza you melt my heart but man you re in a tricky stage heavenly father please let them grow and develop and lead long happy lives i watch them as they sleep oliver sleeps with a night cap on nearly every night he is beautiful in his sleep angelic and as peaceful as can be i take his night cap off because it is so big i give him a kiss and tell him i love him every once in a while he will respond with i love you too mommy eliza is just like me she sleeps anywhere so as long as she can be by somebody else she has a nice little mattress on our floor where she sleeps however she doesn t choose to sleep there she quietly and slowly makes her way to aaron and or i she ll set up her blanket sometimes pretending that she is only putting boopoo to bed there and not herself but finally she will join boopoo in his covers suck her thumb and his tail and fall asleep just now i stepped on her because she fell asleep in the hallway in the dark waiting for me to finish in the bathroom while i was getting ready for bed i did move her back to her bed where she is peacefully sleeping as i type this is exactly how i was when i was a girl i would fall asleep wherever i could so long as somebody was by me this must be genetic as she has not learned this trait from me o this week has been full of reflection and continues on still on friday i was supposed to spend the day in the lab at school studying and practicing skills for clinical oliver had a field trip and i was to drop him off while i went and studied just as i was getting ready to take him i decided maybe i should take a few extra things just in case they need some extra help on the field trip i ended up staying for his field trip not because they needed the help but because i needed to be with my oliver i truly needed to see him with his friends i needed to see how he interacted with his teachers how he played what he likes to do who he really likes to play with i needed to be a part of this experience i needed the memory of that day it was magical perfectly magical when oliver was younger he was a leader i don t know why or how it came about but he was usually a good friend and his friends liked his way of playing and would often do as he did he wasn t the bossy leader he did his thing because it was interesting to him and then others would often follow however i have not seen him in this way for quite some time on the field trip i saw my oliver he is still a leader he is still a good friend it s not the fact that he is a leader that interests me it is the fact that he has seemed to have that personality trait ever since he was born it was just apparent if that were to all of a sudden disappear i worry he would be missing a part of himself and it would break my heart i have not seen him so happy for a long time it was a brilliant day that afternoon he also had his very first soccer class this is his first extracurricular experience and i pray only that he will enjoy himself and be happy there he didn t want to go at first because he was very tired from the field trip however i told him we needed to go this once just to see how he liked it he told me if it doesn t work out do i have to go next week i of course told him no he tiredly got dressed in his new soccer shoes and shin guards he rode his bike to the field and dubiously lined up with the rest of the students as soon as the coach spoke to him personally oliver was hooked he lit up and loved the rest of class it was so fun watching him participate with other kids and the coaches it was just thrilling for a mom we went home and made ourselves a blue alligator smoothie and all was well with the world o it was a magical day in every way possible saturday was sure to be magical as well i ve officially got myself a new running partner since my dear friend moved away i ve needed somebody to run with for a long time and sure enough when i had just about given up hope a fellow classmate from another quarter wore running tights to school the rest is history o she was heaven sent and i am very grateful for our new friendship we ran early in the morning up our favorite mountain it was a great run peaceful beautiful sweaty and painful it really doesn t get better then that now for the next part and where my guilty conscience comes in we have never taken our kids to the temple to see the temple ever that s right neither one of them have ever seen a temple in real life due to the intensity of emotions and feelings going through my every cell lately friday night aaron and i decided it was time and so it was we took them to the oakland temple saturday morning it was a stormy windy cold day it was beautiful the kids were a little overwhelmed with the newness they ran around the temple grounds like two little crazy children who had never seen the light of day i was a little embarrassed to be honest i thought to myself why isn t this magical isn t the temple a magical place for a child especially if they ve never seen it in real life why don t they feel something special and meaningful don t they feel the reverence that the temple surrenders i got discouraged but then realized this is their first time let them experience something so new in their own way oliver loved it so much he loved it it was just different than what i had expected ps expectations are really painful sometimes aren t they we watched a movie in the visitors center and they both seemed to really like it we wandered around everywhere we could and just took it in i m slowly but surely learning about the impracticality of expectations one day i will get it right after our excitement at the temple we drove to a beautiful place ed levin county park it is near mission peak and oh my it was beautiful incredibly beautiful there is nothing like the beautiful spacious outdoors to calm a troubled heart and then today oh how i dread sundays since honesty is no stranger in this post i will not stop here sundays are nearly most often times dreadful they are my least favorite day today was an especially bad day at church a day when we decided to sit in the middle of the congregation heaven forbid rather than in the back where sometimes it is easier to hide kids were not cooperative and i cried out in anger and frustration of course i kept myself in control so as not to make a scene but my heart was shouting at the top of its lungs kicking screaming sobbing resenting it was miserable the only good thing at church for me right now are 2 things 1 the days our kids are decent in sacrament meeting and i don t feel like i m going to go crazy 2 my 7 8 year old class i love them i love them i love them they are as perfect as can be most of the time o me and church are not on the same page as of now but i m not giving up hope i m not sure why i find it so difficult but i do i just do and that is it and now we re at day s end it s pouring rain outside we did have a little smoothie and no bake cookie party this afternoon and watched a little movie together as a fam that was a good moment everybody is asleep but me i should be and thus begins my reflecting and thus i write and have written o it s been a long week an emotional roller coaster if you will i m a bit concerned to be starting on the floor tomorrow with real live patients and feeling the way i do i m kind of an emotional mess if not apparent by all of my ramblings but i m excited i love nursing school i love my classmates all of them dearly i love what we are learning and i love that i am finally on the road to helping people the way i have wanted to for so long i read in one of our books that nurses must not only where their hearts on their sleeves but they must also wear their brains on their sleeves i love that i want to not only have and feel love for the people i will be taking care of but the brains critical thinking judgement skills necessary to figure out what it is they need in that critical moment and time and now that my children are sleeping i love them dearly o i love them always but sometimes through all of the whining crying and screaming it is hard to see feel that love but i know it is always there no matter what i love them more than anything i love my husband more than anything i love the beauty of the earth it s always an inspiration to me when i m feeling the weight of the world i can escape up a hill and run all of my energy out into the dirt below me and feel lightened ah and it is time for bed past time good night i ll leave you with a few pictures i ll try to do a long picture post another day i have a lot o sly and good night and remember to click on below picture to view the album temple and a beautiful hike before i go god be with you till we meet again by his counsels guide uphold you with his sheep securely fold you god be with you till we meet again god be with you till we meet again neath his wings securely hide you daily manna still provide you god be with you till we meet again god be with you till we meet again when life s perils thick confound you put his arms unfailing round you god be with you till we meet again god be with you till we meet again keep love s banner floating o er you smite death s threatening wave before you god be with you till we meet again rest in peace our fellow nursing student you will be missed sly posted by aaron and joni at 10 21 pm 9 comments friday april 2 2010 nature inspires me just so you know here is what it looks like when you use fresh things from nature and add it to easter eggs it really is amazing you should try it o i guess i will give a small intro to the below pictures last year i really wanted to make my own dye for coloring easter eggs you know using stuff that is natural to be one with the earth o however i didn t get started early enough so it just didn t happen this year however i was determined to at least attempt it and here is how it turned out i am very proud i must say it turned out much different then i could have ever expected i wasn t expecting anything because i really had no idea how it would turn out so i guess it was no surprise o they are very dark and i will try and work with a few more color schemes the next go around tomorrow maybe haha i really want to figure out a few kinks but this is a start to a very fun easter egg tradition ps dear grandma i hope you can see these eggs from all the way up there because every time i look at them i think of you i m most definitely your grand daughter if i have a love for the beauty of eggs just like you i love you p s s if you saw my hands right now you would be proud they look just like yours at the end of a long day out in the garden items used red onion peels raspberries and blueberries brown onion peels paprika greens picked from outside leaves grass flowers and so on o spinach vinegar wa la above grass orange mixture above left leaves purple mixture happy easter everybody sly posted by aaron and joni at 10 10 pm 6 comments wednesday march 31 2010 half way dear followers i doubt there are many of you left but i do know there are a few o here are the beach pictures from when i went with my classmates in celebration of making it to the half way point in nursing school hoooorayyyyyyyyyyyy enjoy spring break 2010_classmates remember to click on the pic to see the album ps does anybody know of a better way to show friends and family online photo albums this doesn t seem like the best way to do this but i do not have the time it takes for all of my pics to download onto this blog page via blogspot do you know what i mean if anybody knows of something that works better then what i am doing please do share your tips please please please haha o posted by aaron and joni at 10 04 am 4 comments monday march 29 2010 spring break 2010 here s to a beautiful beautiful day at the beach we had a blast and i am so happy that the weather was nice over the weekend so we could go now it is back to raining we went as a family on saturday and my classmates went the friday before in celebration of our half way mark of being done with nursing school it was soooo fun i love my classmates so much enjoy the pictures sly spring break 2010 ps click on the album to see all of our pictures also after you click on the album click on the slideshow button and then on the full screen button they just look better when they are bigger ok cheers sly posted by aaron and joni at 7 53 pm 5 comments sunday january 3 2010 once upon a time i ran a marathon st george marathon 2009 so here s to running marathons cheeers ok now for a little tmi here is what i learned from running this marathon again this might be tmi for you so beware 1 if you are not used to eating fast food or random food from a gas station don t eat this right before you run 26 2 miles 2 if you choose to eat the above items which may or may not include a wendy s frosty come on i couldn t help myself i really only get it once a year subway sandwich cheeeeeeeeeeesey taco soup and a fettuccine alfredo pasta chicken dinner ps this wasn t all in one sitting this was the day prior to me having to run 26 2 miles 3 again if you perhaps chose to eat the above items before running for a very very long time here is what may or may not possibly happen a diarrhea b throwing up c nearly passing out d needing an iv related to the above complications and yes all of the above occurred to me on the day of the marathon unfortunately the d word presented throughout the race 3 times one of which could not be held until the next porta potty and i had to run out into the bushes up a hill and behind a tiny little stub of a bush to you know fortunately the other two items barfing and iv did not have to occur until after i crossed the finish line so luckily i had my great friend brooke who ran with me part of it she is much faster than me o and luckily i had my two beautiful sisters to help me when i honestly thought i was going to pass out i was miserably miserable but the iv fluids rejuvenated me and i was able to spend a few pleasant hours with my sisters whom i love and adore and then had to catch a shuttle to the vegas airpo...