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life is like a dream life is like a dream wednesday june 22 2011 a lesson 比上不足 比下有餘 知足常樂 i guess this will never exist in medicine i am proud of being who i am thank you for bringing me down to the ground posted by a bit at 5 10 am no comments what do you i want to whom you may concern have you ever thought of how much you actually worth have you ever thought of how much do you really know about about me have you asked yourself why are you doing whatever you are doing now i was told that i am not focused i am not focused because i do not know which specialty i want to be in i am not focused because i do not have a 6 month academic plan ahead i am not focused because i did not know why i am not intercalating next year i am not focused because i did not apply to do elective in us or any advance countries in europe i am not focused because i always find the easy way out of it ie planning to do my elective in singapore i find a doctor whom i know him very well so that he can teach me during my summer holidays you are not focused i am not focused maybe i am just not into it i always fail to find a reason why i want to be a doctor is that what i want compete with people to find a job secure a place in the specialty that you think you will like it for the rest of your life then you focus on doing research audit hopefully it will get published before you get a job after that join national conferences as many as you can which will help you to gain 1 mark for national presentation level what is next become a hypocrite to beg people for taking you into their research team national audit or study master programme to consolidate your cv is that what you want why can t i choose to ignore this what is so special for gaining all these is that the reason why you are here in medical field maybe it is my fault i always think that being a good doctor is my target in my life i can achieve that with a medical degree and good personality the most important thing a heart will extra degree help will the name on the papers help i do not know and i am not interested to know everyone has a life i choose my life who are you to judge me i am not focused because of the reasons above i am not capable because i did not have 100 cannulations and 100 catherterisations i am getting my way easy out of it because i am not going to us hahahaha the most fucking ridiculous thing is why do i care so much i might worth less than a pence in your eyes i might not get a job next year because i fail to fulfil the desirable components on job application form so what i am stupid useless but i am still who i am isn t it i am a daughter of my parents i am a sister of my 2 siblings i am a friend of someone and i will be a doctor of someone who needs me how much do i worth i may not be a good daughter sister friend but i am still who i am i have spending 13 years of my life to please everyone around me i have changed into a different person compared to who i was 13 years ago and i feel sorry that i can t go back to be who i was anymore i seldom show my temper in front of people because im afraid of losing a friend i always give up what i want to do because i want people around me to be happy i am happy when you you and you are happy i am tough yet i am not i am not going to please you that s not my life that s a dog s life wait a minute maybe i will if i fail to get a job no i will quit quit the game quit this field there are so many interesting things out there medicine is not everything well at least for me medicine is not my everything who knows i will end up doing non related medical job in the future never says never i hate rules and regulations i hate routine jobs basically i love free and easy life so haha thank you for your advice i paid to have this lesson today i played my role well as a medical student but you told me off saying that being a student who only knows how to attend lectures and posting nothing thank you let me tell you one thing i am not from singapore and please remember this yours sincerely pei hua lee oh can you please at least remember my name as well don t look at my name tag all the time oh as if you care posted by a bit at 4 19 am no comments wednesday june 1 2011 big smile photo taken on my 24th birthday keep this smile keep smiling love why did everyone ask me to smile two random guys outside hospital asked me to keep smiling posted by a bit at 4 51 pm 3 comments monday may 30 2011 first post since last year from our last conversation sl lee phua u never tell me http abi t86 blogsp ot com hahahahahaha me hahahahahahaha well thanks for reminding me my last post was last year wow maybe i should blog more often simply because we are too free these days hehe i always feel that i am a step closer to my friends when i read their blogs posted by a bit at 8 54 am no comments tuesday may 18 2010 i dreamed a dream in the dream i knew how to answer every question in the progress test i was happy she was happy everyone was happy 8am in the morning everything disappeared truth never lies welcome back posted by a bit at 12 43 pm no comments friday may 7 2010 this is how i feel now how can you totally ignore somebody without feeling anything treat you like air i am learning now still learning after i failed so many times pfttt posted by a bit at 3 26 pm 1 comment thursday april 29 2010 stress stress stress i missed the smile posted by a bit at 11 23 am 2 comments home subscribe to posts atom blog archive 2011 4 june 3 a lesson what do you i want big smile may 1 2010 3 may 2 april 1 followers about me a bit view my complete profile picture window theme powered by blogger