Meta tags:
description=from devout Mormon missionary to no religion at all;

Headings (most frequently used words):

the, life, atheist, unworthy, of, two, and, story, series, mormon, church, do, your, why, agnostic, us, this, death, via, posts, my, guilt, words, reasons, accidental, tale, shelves, uncertainty, how, you, explain, moment, non, shelf, input, after, tony, judy, shame, vulnerability, brené, brown, tedx, are, stupid, titles, that, make, less, intelligent, poem, will, change, an, follow, blog, email, suscribe, rss, mucho, gusto, top, pages, other, articles, intention, rebuttal, to, myself, indirect, complexity, rigidity, fallacy, greatest, inducing, doctrines, in, world, is, about, me, five, people, cycle, best, left, becoming, evangelical, interesting, tidbits, vs, what, actually, mean, these, suck, using, them, way, we, makes, stupiderrerr, intro, aubade, larkin, reading, thoughts, purpose, navigation,

Text of the page (most frequently used words):
the (578), and (448), that (213), you (123), was (122), for (95), but (88), have (86), this (82), what (81), not (79), they (75), with (74), all (74), had (72), life (65), about (65), one (62), god (52), more (51), people (51), from (50), are (48), will (47), our (45), how (44), could (43), can (41), things (41), don (41), know (40), when (40), who (40), would (40), world (38), didn (37), his (35), there (35), those (34), good (34), because (33), were (33), time (33), like (32), just (32), him (32), #church (31), out (31), now (30), some (30), them (30), their (30), other (29), any (29), mormon (28), myself (28), never (28), thought (27), your (27), think (26), others (26), without (25), believe (24), way (24), through (24), own (23), only (23), which (23), here (22), then (22), something (22), come (22), words (22), day (21), make (21), see (20), every (20), little (20), did (20), than (20), feel (20), felt (20), shelf (20), being (19), many (19), after (18), live (18), around (18), right (18), even (18), well (18), person (17), enough (17), much (17), still (17), want (17), into (17), tell (17), guilt (17), atheist (16), death (16), truth (16), going (16), moment (16), she (16), feeling (16), questions (16), thoughts (15), does (15), these (15), great (15), been (15), before (15), years (15), sure (15), always (15), thing (15), say (15), unworthy (14), story (14), told (14), nothing (14), while (14), has (14), religion (14), done (14), true (14), better (14), agnostic (14), series (13), uncertainty (13), part (13), where (13), stories (13), look (13), article (13), leave (13), get (12), 2014 (12), two (12), really (12), most (12), experiences (12), become (12), same (12), reason (12), her (12), left (12), jefferson (12), first (12), reading (12), lives (12), why (12), experience (12), may (11), 2013 (11), each (11), new (11), forgotten (11), down (11), few (11), over (11), love (11), anything (11), ever (11), different (11), whether (11), faith (11), january (10), thinking (10), again (10), someone (10), give (10), doesn (10), mission (10), next (10), long (10), work (10), mind (10), read (10), keep (10), should (10), possible (10), lds (10), fully (10), spiritual (10), comments (9), 2012 (9), try (9), given (9), important (9), everything (9), knew (9), too (9), wasn (9), also (9), off (9), made (9), probably (9), less (9), couldn (9), said (9), stop (9), boy (9), got (9), non (9), started (8), name (8), best (8), doing (8), real (8), family (8), word (8), child (8), four (8), makes (8), self (8), created (8), take (8), dream (8), yet (8), let (8), its (8), wrong (8), able (8), ago (8), knowledge (8), based (8), understand (8), lot (8), place (8), hard (8), looking (8), working (8), wouldn (8), answers (8), october (7), full (7), purpose (7), open (7), friends (7), today (7), within (7), future (7), won (7), else (7), alone (7), exist (7), night (7), earth (7), back (7), point (7), dark (7), clear (7), afraid (7), instead (7), idea (7), mean (7), isn (7), use (7), often (7), schindler (7), shame (7), single (7), week (7), goals (7), scriptures (7), set (7), past (7), friend (7), email (6), comment (6), join (6), follow (6), atheism (6), meant (6), book (6), society (6), hope (6), help (6), supposed (6), decisions (6), born (6), saying (6), yourself (6), gone (6), special (6), sent (6), forever (6), realized (6), second (6), though (6), very (6), need (6), man (6), maybe (6), poem (6), side (6), means (6), ourselves (6), spirit (6), certainty (6), simply (6), door (6), certain (6), short (6), both (6), reasons (6), mormons (6), ways (6), unworthiness (6), car (6), wanted (6), wise (6), went (6), indirect (6), explain (6), view (5), accidental (5), already (5), february (5), having (5), enjoy (5), heard (5), walking (5), actually (5), themselves (5), gain (5), generations (5), care (5), lived (5), least (5), changed (5), everyone (5), difficult (5), change (5), beginning (5), completely (5), away (5), old (5), ready (5), accept (5), fear (5), says (5), held (5), science (5), conclusions (5), worldview (5), call (5), ask (5), find (5), grace (5), miracles (5), times (5), doctrines (5), effort (5), asked (5), president (5), harder (5), cycle (5), entire (5), mother (5), believed (5), affect (5), found (5), ideas (5), far (5), shouldn (5), wordpress (4), com (4), content (4), blog (4), april (4), december (4), judy (4), tony (4), tale (4), older (4), rather (4), learn (4), create (4), hell (4), fact (4), written (4), put (4), honest (4), enjoying (4), teach (4), pride (4), none (4), helps (4), remember (4), realize (4), big (4), impact (4), difference (4), climb (4), mountain (4), marvel (4), small (4), minute (4), save (4), three (4), chance (4), happen (4), loved (4), pass (4), sitting (4), die (4), unable (4), happy (4), sister (4), specific (4), seen (4), strong (4), adult (4), depressing (4), beyond (4), anyway (4), such (4), intense (4), depressed (4), getting (4), parts (4), house (4), larkin (4), slowly (4), used (4), soon (4), making (4), impossible (4), half (4), himself (4), lack (4), six (4), stupid (4), especially (4), therefore (4), end (4), prove (4), rest (4), body (4), continue (4), move (4), intelligent (4), meet (4), deal (4), five (4), hand (4), against (4), kind (4), whatever (4), between (4), human (4), share (4), christ (4), mormonism (4), might (4), prepared (4), gave (4), wonder (4), fears (4), meeting (4), missionaries (4), women (4), came (4), early (4), until (4), close (4), greatest (4), war (4), face (4), intention (4), young (4), coming (4), exactly (4), decade (4), vulnerability (4), posting (4), stay (4), finally (4), testimony (4), whitman (4), grandpa (4), author (4), somber (4), reader (3), sign (3), 2018 (3), shelves (3), posts (3), pages (3), click (3), post (3), idiot (3), sound (3), outside (3), act (3), scene (3), hour (3), moments (3), quickly (3), overcome (3), beauty (3), complex (3), helping (3), wall (3), sense (3), listen (3), matter (3), kid (3), simple (3), realization (3), meaning (3), course (3), truly (3), accomplish (3), dead (3), worked (3), expectations (3), died (3), undoubtedly (3), absolutely (3), largest (3), cities (3), number (3), billions (3), immediate (3), chosen (3), sin (3), bad (3), another (3), realistic (3), mostly (3), amazing (3), bed (3), play (3), burn (3), light (3), seriously (3), negative (3), bring (3), pictures (3), haven (3), saw (3), seems (3), ignore (3), room (3), last (3), weeks (3), please (3), mine (3), favorite (3), morning (3), sometimes (3), begins (3), known (3), round (3), seeing (3), shall (3), nor (3), whole (3), aubade (3), expressing (3), watch (3), needs (3), aren (3), debate (3), medicine (3), ones (3), must (3), weakness (3), source (3), nearly (3), evidence (3), dumb (3), main (3), comfortable (3), moral (3), result (3), forward (3), weak (3), filled (3), study (3), cognitive (3), believing (3), watching (3), eyes (3), list (3), wrote (3), journal (3), accepted (3), humanity (3), became (3), savior (3), hadn (3), saved (3), gives (3), spite (3), awhile (3), anymore (3), hundreds (3), seem (3), months (3), doctrine (3), trust (3), image (3), results (3), elder (3), glad (3), transfer (3), stood (3), home (3), problem (3), plans (3), loving (3), member (3), topics (3), contact (3), gospel (3), books (3), basement (3), message (3), differently (3), money (3), workers (3), hours (3), father (3), affects (3), sick (3), following (3), perfect (3), power (3), jesus (3), grandson (3), social (3), talk (3), response (3), worried (3), drove (3), tried (3), understood (3), worth (3), dick (3), immediately (3), start (3), head (3), sunday (3), school (3), yes (3), rights (3), rule (3), break (3), stopped (3), bit (3), offend (3), longer (3), present (3), fixed (3), returned (3), leaves (3), positive (3), answer (3), unresolved (3), site (2), required (2), write (2), manage (2), log (2), subscribed (2), subscribe (2), subscribers (2), march (2), via (2), conversation (2), literature (2), along (2), signifying (2), fury (2), highly (2), brings (2), joy (2), teacher (2), false (2), delusions (2), grandeur (2), solely (2), poor (2), turn (2), weaknesses (2), front (2), heart (2), appreciate (2), stranger (2), unique (2), humor (2), taking (2), confidence (2), remembered (2), movie (2), political (2), powerful (2), causing (2), recognizable (2), comprehend (2), valley (2), atlas (2), size (2), sheer (2), living (2), affecting (2), vicinity (2), mom (2), grew (2), lost (2), grandparents (2), almost (2), accomplishments (2), emily (2), relationship (2), rob (2), hopefully (2), eternally (2), conclude (2), observe (2), regret (2), emotion (2), brother (2), sweet (2), closer (2), brain (2), satisfied (2), remorse (2), greater (2), alive (2), pool (2), strangers (2), emotions (2), happened (2), cool (2), passing (2), discuss (2), below (2), waking (2), soundless (2), beginnings (2), conclusion (2), postmen (2), doctors (2), white (2), sun (2), ring (2), escape (2), takes (2), shape (2), grave (2), caught (2), link (2), taste (2), pretend (2), vast (2), terrible (2), nearer (2), itself (2), otherwise (2), intro (2), kill (2), hitchens (2), writings (2), introduction (2), video (2), images (2), strongly (2), hardly (2), once (2), likely (2), forget (2), feelings (2), above (2), correct (2), views (2), subject (2), failure (2), heating (2), current (2), evolution (2), modern (2), traditional (2), notion (2), doubt (2), precisely (2), scientist (2), shift (2), although (2), million (2), calls (2), pray (2), attend (2), compass (2), doubts (2), opinionated (2), sounding (2), fine (2), intellectually (2), politics (2), bold (2), media (2), facts (2), positions (2), except (2), somewhere (2), belief (2), exists (2), ist (2), tears (2), likewise (2), defined (2), believes (2), personal (2), road (2), begun (2), titles (2), argue (2), hang (2), excellent (2), evangelicals (2), divide (2), connected (2), thousands (2), common (2), evangelical (2), fuel (2), accountable (2), holding (2), loves (2), becoming (2), eventually (2), burden (2), temple (2), heaven (2), order (2), saving (2), afterwards (2), mid (2), raw (2), since (2), understanding (2), fall (2), quite (2), sincerely (2), handle (2), doctrinal (2), subjects (2), conscience (2), met (2), shoulders (2), obviously (2), later (2), comfort (2), yeah (2), fault (2), clearly (2), fervently (2), turbo (2), tract (2), efforts (2), sold (2), naked (2), woke (2), direction (2), companion (2), missing (2), existence (2), guided (2), eight (2), baptisms (2), baptism (2), peak (2), black (2), running (2), inspired (2), tracting (2), wake (2), eat (2), prayed (2), setting (2), anyone (2), action (2), led (2), righteous (2), pedaling (2), helped (2), looks (2), pin (2), ten (2), factory (2), whoever (2), saves (2), history (2), camps (2), walk (2), blessing (2), directly (2), leader (2), personally (2), prepare (2), desire (2), hear (2), goes (2), extremely (2), together (2), son (2), manipulate (2), dogmas (2), show (2), trying (2), kept (2), cared (2), knowing (2), inspiration (2), knocking (2), send (2), tedx (2), brené (2), brown (2), guess (2), unexpected (2), month (2), consideration (2), inner (2), writing (2), hidden (2), belonged (2), cut (2), desperately (2), hit (2), posted (2), minutes (2), abandon (2), tiny (2), bright (2), structure (2), basically (2), promise (2), decided (2), warmth (2), afternoon (2), sacrament (2), choosing (2), question (2), prayers (2), remind (2), during (2), standards (2), country (2), praying (2), abandoned (2), beautiful (2), peace (2), pretty (2), dissonance (2), reasoning (2), anthropomorphic (2), shared (2), afterlife (2), eye (2), lead (2), leaving (2), breaking (2), teenager (2), middle (2), hands (2), willing (2), straight (2), letter (2), law (2), year (2), exmormon (2), drive (2), goodness (2), career (2), fame (2), fluid (2), happens (2), leaders (2), turned (2), influenced (2), complexity (2), shaping (2), actions (2), fill (2), behind (2), imaginary (2), truck (2), wife (2), stand (2), sake (2), opinion (2), ancient (2), nations (2), divine (2), inure (2), antecedent (2), spot (2), learned (2), direct (2), lifetime (2), passage (2), walt (2), grass (2), focus (2), comes (2), rebuttal (2), losing (2), wish (2), rode (2), tendency (2), disagree (2), easy (2), waited (2), basis (2), homosexuality (2), orientation (2), freedom (2), support (2), members (2), rhetorical (2), narrative (2), path (2), represents (2), kimball (2), devout (2), missionary (2), design, website, loading, collapse, bar, subscriptions, report, privacy, account, june, july, august, september, articles, top, mucho, gusto, suscribe, rss, search, 532, address, receive, navigation, compiling, poetry, motivates, according, telling, giving, hopes, depress, macbeth, struts, frets, upon, stage, shadow, player, individual, fleeting, guarantee, revel, laugh, inability, foot, consumer, product, beast, individuals, laughing, learning, hanging, struggling, climbing, fullest, outlook, caring, engraved, text, repeated, descendants, importance, corpse, remembers, praises, matters, brighter, lighter, happier, unless, star, groundbreaking, reform, attached, futility, quest, hollow, aggrandizement, memorized, altogether, unfulfilling, parents, sex, biological, processes, grand, guiding, destined, probable, moms, taught, enlightening, gray, confusion, satan, convert, teachings, literally, chunk, grandfathers, greats, named, certainly, silently, fail, procrastination, relationships, awake, drinking, glass, water, changes, peacefully, sleeping, judgment, cloud, harp, music, blackness, perceive, absence, lonely, philosophy, notified, telephone, sought, dwell, angry, bullying, pain, visualized, distance, busy, apathy, pang, dreaming, depth, conjured, dwelling, dreams, survivor, gene, infant, connection, mere, friendship, steal, personality, waiting, funeral, parlor, blood, woken, carry, consciousness, awoke, lay, overwhelming, likelihood, headed, analysis, reality, ahead, introductory, introduce, themes, info, react, introduces, statement, sky, clay, intricate, rented, rouse, locked, offices, uncaring, meanwhile, telephones, crouch, stands, plain, wardrobe, strengthens, whined, withstood, lets, scaring, brave, drink, courage, furnace, realisation, rages, slows, impulse, indecision, unfocused, blur, standing, chill, stays, edge, vision, anaesthetic, touch, smell, sight, specious, stuff, rational, moth, eaten, musical, brocade, trick, dispels, anywhere, extinction, travel, total, emptiness, torn, unused, wretchedly, blanks, glare, flashes, afresh, hold, horrify, dying, arid, interrogation, dread, unresting, till, curtain, edges, grow, stare, drunk, lovers, parting, dawn, instance, accompanied, grim, extend, delude, imagining, interpret, christopher, compendium, atheistic, piece, followed, print, fantastic, portable, philip, recognize, note, embracing, admit, high, possibility, asserted, adjust, accurate, carlo, rovelli, physicist, uselessness, value, origin, silliness, details, theory, strategy, cases, jump, conviction, global, thousand, effective, inferences, perceived, widely, plenty, damage, scientifically, proved, oxymoron, foundation, questioning, premises, improve, reliable, novel, arguments, emerge, ridiculously, awesome, quote, describe, varying, degrees, meaningless, counterproductive, comforting, reasonable, assumptions, forgiveness, trusting, laid, scripture, calling, stigma, ominous, title, flux, noncommittal, scientists, develop, model, fits, constantly, challenging, tweaking, fit, progress, models, culture, intelligence, minds, measured, opinions, pretending, ignorant, blamed, surrounded, news, anchors, spewing, statistics, latch, pundit, repeat, tone, skewed, statistic, agenda, cited, 000, easily, manipulated, adore, shun, healthy, dose, virulent, using, stupiderrerr, atheists, extremists, planet, claim, absolute, continuum, disbelief, accepting, definition, believers, unbelievers, notice, terms, myriad, santa, unicorn, bearded, walked, days, chimney, package, under, tree, horned, horse, cure, illness, billion, defining, suck, deist, eating, popcorn, cosmic, drama, involved, theism, theist, specifically, gnosis, greek, noun, slap, opposite, actively, fighting, dogma, religious, zeal, opposing, uninterested, finding, decides, presumptuous, vent, annoy, imprecise, balanced, somewhat, liberal, explanation, works, suggest, dedicated, wide, risky, ___, listening, closing, youtube, interesting, tidbits, sucks, humble, beings, crazy, humans, united, among, perhaps, portrayal, theirs, caveat, footnote, unbearable, knows, expects, accepts, failings, authors, seemed, brink, robert, millet, stephen, robinson, unfortunate, reinterpreting, inside, enter, highest, degree, rites, ordinances, righteously, westerners, acceptance, caveats, mocked, childhood, grappled, defeat, excuse, admitting, perfection, destroying, survive, preservation, seven, listened, affected, bothered, tore, flippant, shrugs, weren, troubled, trouble, interact, logical, inconsistencies, frustrated, betrayed, lied, perpetuate, truths, misrepresentations, objectivity, reflections, prone, obvious, achieving, caused, phone, transfers, temporary, kick, wondering, assistant, motivation, punctuated, opportunity, urgency, uttered, awkward, talents, hoped, chapel, moving, areas, illinois, sized, earlier, knock, doors, laziness, fruits, blame, swore, masturbated, looked, allowed, homesick, late, snuck, swam, finger, toward, key, competent, success, intervention, ammon, nephite, converted, lamanites, planner, analyze, mistakes, ass, bought, shoes, apartment, packing, lunch, biking, everywhere, invite, appointment, role, practice, teaching, skills, exercise, allow, contention, planning, gift, relied, remotely, hey, smart, consecrate, stopping, happening, exercised, promised, experienced, regular, fictional, sacrificed, perform, movies, usually, extraordinary, adventure, ordinary, showing, win, fuels, dissatisfaction, heroes, normal, fueled, imagination, uncomfortable, balked, suffered, overwhelms, oskar, leans, towards, whispers, burning, sputtering, wasted, tries, console, effect, suit, nazi, tallies, lapel, preparing, gathered, gold, inscribed, talmud, alliance, beaten, nazis, arrive, area, located, throughout, flattery, bribes, worst, purchased, jewish, force, 1100, concentration, putting, creating, pots, pans, faulty, ammunition, liberated, flee, risk, charged, criminal, strange, stationary, bike, crying, dear, reactions, viewing, enemy, portray, trial, unquenchable, nicely, pushes, mountains, baptize, heal, wills, holds, righteousness, promptings, forgiven, messes, depends, choices, slothful, duties, duty, evey, hinges, openness, represent, grateful, participate, event, uprightly, lord, generation, valiant, faithful, eons, appeal, natural, confirm, countless, speeches, sacred, texts, statements, trusts, adults, usual, respect, peers, kids, proud, excited, familiar, warm, speaking, confirming, grows, creatures, species, soul, uniqueness, specialness, trait, particular, period, experiment, entirely, accomplished, imaginations, imagine, preferably, nephew, test, controlled, environment, ideals, truman, entertainment, potential, choose, inducing, darkest, add, fire, destruction, ripped, define, hers, hugged, judge, conversations, teenage, low, floor, rarely, concern, hiding, concealing, voice, spoke, willpower, lie, convincingly, answered, sat, somehow, intuition, luck, anonymously, whichever, prefer, hoping, vulnerable, genuine, wow, topic, commenter, reddit, research, apparently, resonated, received, expecting, jaded, wording, presented, consistent, struggle, poke, misunderstanding, fight, consistently, include, preemptive, defenses, express, yesterday, submit, active, potent, therapeutic, respond, online, ridiculed, criticized, welcomed, walmart, parking, driver, nodded, shopping, whistled, genuinely, enjoyed, passed, girl, scream, loudly, euphoria, gas, peddle, freeway, happiest, spent, friday, replying, torturing, took, spark, hot, rose, ashes, phoenix, nice, warts, empty, verses, shutting, aloud, bullshit, grabbed, bible, studies, opened, genesis, chapter, suddenly, flooded, breath, throat, bet, 20s, notes, taken, popped, reinforced, however, vicious, hatred, broke, wisdom, french, kiss, dressed, modestly, swear, paid, tithing, groups, seminary, class, institute, council, activities, damn, fell, lunging, molly, mode, starting, designed, focused, benign, covering, bedroom, quotes, prophets, apostles, liked, insane, transferring, across, pile, severely, answering, inherently, flawed, holy, ghost, ages, attempted, suicide, worthless, telestial, kingdom, loathing, teens, buckled, daily, reverent, patient, meek, etc, bom, knelt, fulfill, moroni, mirror, built, disgusting, horrible, general, minority, races, gay, disease, diminishing, slow, improvement, oil, meat, percentage, income, hellish, existential, rant, generally, depression, anxiety, improved, ethical, golden, faced, hypothetical, term, tool, boiled, acknowledging, summarize, adolescent, bargain, deep, incompetence, hated, strove, glory, check, situation, unto, resident, evil, guy, comp, forced, mercy, crushed, surrounding, avoid, masturbating, pants, dad, bishop, duct

Text of the page (random words):
awesome quote about uncertainty and science there is a widely held notion that does plenty of damage the notion of scientifically proved nearly an oxymoron the very foundation of science is to keep the door open to doubt precisely because we keep questioning everything especially our own premises we are always ready to improve our knowledge therefore a good scientist is never certain lack of certainty is precisely what makes conclusions more reliable than the conclusions of those who are certain because the good scientist will be ready to shift to a different point of view if better evidence or novel arguments emerge failure to appreciate the value of uncertainty is at the origin of much silliness in our society are we sure that the earth is going to keep heating up if we don t do anything are we sure of the details of the current theory of evolution are we sure that modern medicine is always a better strategy than traditional ones no we are not in any of these cases but if from this lack of certainty we jump to the conviction that we had better not care about global heating that there is no evolution and the world was created six thousand years ago or that traditional medicine must be more effective than modern medicine well we are simply stupid still many people do make these inferences because the lack of certainty is perceived as a sign of weakness instead of being what it is the first source of our knowledge carlo rovelli physicist the uselessness of certainty after note in the spirit of embracing uncertainty i have to admit the high possibility that i asserted things in the article above which aren t correct for that we have debate i would love to adjust my views on the subject above so they re more accurate please leave your thoughts below this poem will change your life october 30 2013 october 30 2013 jefferson 6 comments aubade by philip larkin hardly needs any introduction if you ve heard it before or if you ve read a few atheist writings after reading it once you ll likely not be able to forget it and if you re anything like me you ll recognize many feelings you ve had before it was good enough at expressing what it does i m not going to interpret it for you that would kill it that it made it into christopher hitchens s compendium of atheistic writings the portable atheist i ll give you part of hitchens s introduction to the piece followed by the poem in print and a fantastic reading by larkin himself read it first and then watch the video the images will come out much more strongly if you do intro an aubade is a poem about lovers parting at dawn in this instance larkin s love is life itself accompanied by the grim but honest realization that it does not extend beyond the grave and the we delude ourselves by imagining otherwise aubade i work all day and get half drunk at night waking at four to soundless dark i stare in time the curtain edges will grow light till then i see what s really always there unresting death a whole day nearer now making all thought impossible but how and where and when i shall myself die arid interrogation yet the dread of dying and being dead flashes afresh to hold and horrify the mind blanks at the glare not in remorse the good not done the love not given time torn off unused nor wretchedly because an only life can take so long to climb clear of its wrong beginnings and may never but at the total emptiness for ever the sure extinction that we travel to and shall be lost in always not to be here not to be anywhere and soon nothing more terrible nothing more true this is a special way of being afraid no trick dispels religion used to try that vast moth eaten musical brocade created to pretend we never die and specious stuff that says no rational being can fear a thing it will not feel not seeing that this is what we fear no sight no sound no touch or taste or smell nothing to think with nothing to love or link with the anaesthetic from which none come round and so it stays just on the edge of vision a small unfocused blur a standing chill that slows each impulse down to indecision most things may never happen this one will and realisation of it rages out in furnace fear when we are caught without people or drink courage is no good it means not scaring others being brave lets no one off the grave death is no different whined at than withstood slowly light strengthens and the room takes shape it stands plain as a wardrobe what we know have always known know that we can t escape yet can t accept one side will have to go meanwhile telephones crouch getting ready to ring in locked up offices and all the uncaring intricate rented world begins to rouse the sky is white as clay with no sun work has to be done postmen like doctors go from house to house larkin s reading my thoughts i love so much about this poem but i d rather leave you to your own thoughts than mine i ll just point out my favorite parts the first is the way he introduces the thoughts waking up to soundless dark at four in the morning the second is the statement that an only life can take so long to climb clear of its wrong beginnings and may never because sometimes i feel that way the last is the conclusion postmen like doctors go from house to house how did you react to this poem what parts did you like the most what did it make you feel please leave your comment below this poem along with my introductory article death of an atheist introduce many themes i d like to discuss over the next few weeks as part of a series on death life and atheism click here for more info follow and join the conversation the death of an atheist october 28 2013 october 30 2013 jefferson 6 comments have you ever woken up from a dream an intense dream and had the emotions of that dream carry over into consciousness long after you awoke last night that happened to me as i lay in bed depressed i had one overwhelming thought in all likelihood i will be completely forgotten within four generations this thought wasn t depressing it was just a realization a cool headed analysis of the reality of the passing of time i was feeling depressed but for a different reason but now i m getting ahead of myself let me go back to the beginning death i had a dream the other night and in the dream my sister emily had died i was notified by telephone or in person i don t remember have you ever sought to dwell on a negative thought just so you could bring up a specific emotion in yourself like when you want to feel angry so you think about someone bullying your little brother or when you want to really feel pain so you look at pictures of friends you haven t seen in years well that s what i did in this dream i visualized my sister as the sweet kid and strong adult i knew she was saw the relationship we had and the one we never had because of distance being too busy or just because of apathy i felt the pang of regret for not having become closer to her when i had the chance it seems my dreaming brain wasn t yet satisfied with the depth of my remorse so it conjured up something greater after dwelling on my sister for a while i also realized i was the only one still alive in my immediate family of all the depressing dreams i ve had in my life i ve never been the only survivor left in my family i felt alone without them my gene pool the people i grew up with from infant to adult the only people on earth i have any real connection with beyond mere friendship the people who could steal from me or ignore me or just have such a different personality from me but who i would love anyway my family was completely gone i was in a room maybe a waiting room or a funeral parlor and there were people all around me but they were strangers not my family not my blood and i didn t care about them i was alone awake now sitting in my bed drinking a glass of water i realized i need to make some changes because all i have is this life you see when i die hopefully as an old man while peacefully sleeping or maybe while i m on a mountain doing what i enjoy with those i love i ll be gone there won t be a judgment a cloud where i ll eternally play harp music or a hell where i ll eternally burn there won t even just be blackness i will be dead unable to perceive even the absence of light and conclude that i m lonely unable to feel observe think regret hope or do anything i will never exist again it s not a happy thought but it s a realistic thought and i have no reason to seriously believe any other philosophy this is important to me because there will be no second chance to make something happen if i fail to do it now no procrastination no thinking well i loved emily and we didn t have as good of a relationship as we could have but we ll have the chance for that when i pass away to believe so is to rob yourself of the truth and to rob yourself of the chance to create truly amazing relationships now if i want to have real meaning in my life i have to do it now right now purpose alone in my dream with other people around me but none of my family no one who had any reason to remember me i realized that by all realistic expectations i will be completely forgotten within four generations and mostly forgotten by three think about it for a second what do you know about your great great grandparents i know very little about my great grandfathers and almost nothing about my great greats even though i m named after one of them i m sure they did some good things and certainly their decisions still silently impact my life today but i don t know their humor their accomplishments or their stories your mom undoubtedly told you you re special most moms do but i grew up in a religion that taught me i m something even more than special you see i was chosen before the world was even created to be born in this difficult time given the truth the simple and enlightening truth to take to others lost in the gray confusion created by satan and years of sin i was sent on a mission to convert others to the teachings that would literally save them from everything bad in this world and the next i was sent to change the world or at least a good chunk of it i was told i d live forever and that death was just another beginning i now realize the only reason i m here is because my parents had sex and the biological processes worked the way they re supposed to no grand purpose no all powerful being guiding my decisions no big impact on the world i m destined to accomplish by all probable expectations i will have been born lived and died without causing even a minute difference to the world or at least not a recognizable one undoubtedly one of you is saying to yourself well everything we do has an impact and we can never comprehend how much we changed those around us you re absolutely right but go climb a mountain and look out over a valley open up an atlas and look at the world look at the largest cities and marvel at the size of them the sheer number of people who are living right now marvel at how small you are realize billions have come and gone affecting only those in their immediate vicinity and were forgotten with everyone else the fact is within four generations no one will remember my name unless of course i m one of the few if i write something truly great star in some groundbreaking movie or accomplish some great political reform that has my name attached to it but even then the futility of it all makes that quest hollow self aggrandizement solely for the purpose of having your name memorized by future generations is an altogether unfulfilling purpose to live for i won t care if i m remembered i ll be dead and that simple realization helps me gain real meaning in the life i live today life this moment right now laughing with friends helping a stranger learning everything i can hanging out with family struggling on the climbing wall enjoying every moment i can in the fullest sense of the word that s what life is about enjoying my family enjoying each of my friends their unique humor their unique outlook taking joy from helping the one from caring about someone enough to listen to them to teach a child something that will help to give them confidence so they ll believe in themselves these are the little things that make life great being remembered my name being engraved on some wall written in some text book or repeated by my descendants is of little importance to me what pride is there to be had when i m a corpse none of that is important it doesn t matter if the stranger i help remembers me or if the kid i teach praises me all that matters is that i did something to make his life a little brighter a little lighter a little happier the fact is all i have is this life these moments written down in the book of my life individual fleeting experiences i have while the pages turn more and more quickly is all i can guarantee so i live i live each day each moment i can i revel in the weaknesses that make me me laugh at my inability to overcome them and put one foot in front of the other and try again i appreciate each person around me doing my best to not see them as society does as a consumer a product a beauty or a beast but as complex individuals with their own great stories i become honest with myself and open my heart up for others around me so they can actually see the real me and i hope they ll do the same life s but a walking shadow a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more it is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing macbeth act v scene v a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing this thought does not depress me rather it motivates me to learn to really live a full life i will not be an idiot full of sound and fury thinking so highly of myself while i live and then being forgotten my life having meant nothing rather i know i ll be forgotten and try to live my life according to what brings me and those around me the most joy the truth is i have no purpose given to me from outside myself no god telling me i m important no teacher giving me false hopes and delusions of grandeur the purpose of my life is solely up to me to create and to enjoy and i m going to enjoy the hell out of it what do you think this is part of a series death life and atheism where i ll be compiling some of the best literature and poetry about death and atheism along with some thoughts of my own posts navigation older posts follow blog via email join the conversation click here to receive an email with each new post email address follow join 532 other subscribers search for suscribe via rss mucho gusto top posts pages a tale of two shelves uncertainty and the mormon church life after life tony s story unworthy series judy s story unworthy series unworthy a story series other articles february 2018 1 april 2014 1 january 2014 5 december 2013 1 october 2013 2 march 2013 1 february 2013 1 january 2013 2 december 2012 1 october 2012 1 september 2012 1 august 2012 6 july 2012 3 ...